People Who've Been Cheated On Explain Exactly How They Found Out
Image by Hieu Van from Pixabay

Being cheated on by a romantic partner is a complete and total annihilation of all the trust a solid romance is built on.

Once cracked, that foundation can't be fixed. The truly tragic part of being cheated on is the moment of discovery, finding out that a person whom you thought you could rely on has proven to be the exact opposite. Maybe it's a lipstick stain on piece of clothing or a credit card charge from a time you don't remember going to that cute, little Italian place together. Whatever the reason, you know, and now you can never not know.

Reddit user, u/Johnnybrar, wanted to understand what it felt like to have your trust betrayed when they asked:

People who have been cheated on, how did you find out?

Turns out when you carry a device tracking your every movement, with a visual chain of photographic evidence detailing where you've been and what you do, cheating becomes that much stupider.

Self-Incriminating Evidence

"You know how Facebook chat bubbles open up on top of whatever app you're on? He sent me a screenshot of something funny between him and his cousin. In the background was a text message about a date he was going on with this girl."


A Cursed Digital Memento

"Went through my wife's phone to send myself a photo of our daughters. Found the photos she took in bed with the guy."


A Good Samaritan

"I had suspicions about my wife for a while, but confirmation came in the form of a voicemail from the guy's wife..."

"Hi -- this message is for <QuizzicalDog>. It's **** calling. Just wanted to let you know that your wife has been having an affair with my husband ****. So... I just thought you should know. If you have any questions, I'm sure your wife would love to tell you all about it. Bye!"


Betrayed By The D*ck Pick

"The girl texted me."

"I had my doubts, but no evidence. Not that I needed evidence to leave but - that's another story."

"She texted me on IG with screenshots of him chatting with her, and a very prominent pic of his penis against a very distinctive floor tile. No way to say "that's not my penis."

"So, busted."



"She left to go on a camping trip for a few weeks. A week and a half into her trip she posts a Snapchat from Florida of some other dude hugging her from behind in a hotel room mirror. Apparently during this camping trip she met some guy who "god had put in her path" (she wasn't religious) and that, after only knowing each other for a couple days, they were now dating and decided to go to Florida together. I had to wait an additional week for her to tell me this cause she wasn't answering her phone or texts. It's been about a year and as far as I know they're still dating. Still boggles my mind to this day."


Caught On Alexa

"Married a few years. He left myself and our newborn as he was struggling. Needed space didn't know what he wanted etc etc."

"Ten months later I'm adding a new Amazon echo to our family prime account and notice a device I don't recognise. Realise it's his at the place where he is staying."

"You can go through voice requests and play them back. Enter my gross (now ex) husband saying 'Alexa, play beautiful love songs' while in the background I can hear him f-cking a woman who turned out to be his work colleague."

"They'd been having an affair since at least just after our daughter was born but lots of clues say it started when I was pregnant."

"I've posted about this before but frequently jump between accounts because he likes to stalk me on Reddit. When I posted about it originally back when it happened it got picked up by a tabloid newspaper with the heading 'Amazon Slimeball' which is now what he is saved as in my contacts forever."


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Sometimes it's a simple message, someone reaching out to you, that breaks the awful news. It's surprising what a seconds long conversation can do to your entire life.

Throwing It All Away

"I found a sexually-explicit love letter that was not from me. We had been married for 15 years :("


Give Credit To The Parents On This One

"My parents told me. They overheard him on the phone with another woman."


"At least you didn't have to announce it to your parents, I guess..."


A Heart Wrenching Turn

"My wife cheated and had a 2 year long affair. I found out when the other mans wife texted me and told me everything. I confronted my wife and she lied through her teeth until I hit her with some facts of the matter that she couldn't deny. We were hs sweethearts that were together for 18 years and married 11 with two young kids, 3 & 5. The absolute worst moment of my life and I've been in a deep depression since finding out."


Thanks For Being A Good Buddy?

"Like 4 years later my friend told me straight up "hey she didn't break up with you because she was moving..." She went straight to him. After she broke up I never heard from her since and it turns out their relationship only lasted a few months, and she got together with him while she was also with me. F-cked thing is he thought that she already broke up with me by the time they started dating"


No matter how you slice it, it's never easy to accept someone is cheating on you.

In Front Of The House? In Front Of The Baby?

"I saw them with my own two eyes, kissing outside our kitchen Window. He was coming home late from a work trip and our baby had woken up so I was standing in the kitchen rocking her when I saw him pull up with his colleague in the car. They got out and embraced and kissed right in front of me, not knowing I was watching. We'd been together 6 years, bought a house together, had a baby - I was still on maternity leave."


Playing Detective By Yourself

"Here's my long one:"

"He went out with some friends and never came home that night. I woke up at 4am to find him not home. I tried to call him but his phone went straight to vm. I called his buddy he said he left hours ago. I thought something horrible happened. So I called hospitals and police stations thinking the worst. After 4 hours I called his parents who lived in NC to let them know he was missing. Decided to drive around to the bars he frequented. Saw my friend's car was left at the bar. Gut feeling told me to drive by her house she was a bartender at said bar. Found his car in her driveway. Banged on door found him and her together. Called his parents let them know he wasn't dead, just cheating on me."

"Sh-tty side note: my "friend" had been bragging to me that some guy was showing up at the bar and buying her flowers and texting her all kinds of cute sh-t. Well turns out it was my boyfriend of 5 years the whole time."


Leaving The...Er..."Evidence" Behind

"Found an empty condom wrapper hastily thrown away but it had landed NEXT TO the garbage can in our garage instead of inside the garbage can. I've had an IUD for over 10 years - condoms weren't on our shopping list. I could have written a damn book with everything I found out later."


Being Open And Honest

"His friend was kind enough to tell me. It ruined their relationship, but it was very meaningful to me. I appreciated someone doing me the kindness of letting me know."


​What A Coincidence!

"We broke up, I made a new friend and she asked if I had a boyfriend and I told her we had just ended the relationship, but I also told her his name to which she replied "I had a boyfriend with that name too not too long ago!" (It wasn't a common name in our area) so I laughed and I showed her a picture and she did the same and we stopped laughing. It was the same guy, we both dated him for like 4 months and 2 of those at the same time."



"We were out on a date when she got a phone call, her fiancé had just been in a terrible motorcycle accident and died. We had been dating for about eight months at that point, we never talked again."


"How exactly did she explain that?"

"Hey, there's this guy I kinda know..."


"She was obviously getting horrible news on the phone, she looked destroyed. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me <name> had died. I couldn't place the name, and when I asked who that was, she told me."


Just because these stories ended in disaster doesn't mean you should close off your heart to the world. Keep it ajar, keep it willing to trust, but also be ready to completely rescind that trust if someone doesn't do the work to keep it.

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