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There is nothing sweeter than watching a person who has been dragging you down get their comeuppance. I know we're suppose to be all zen about others and situations in life but I'm human. Nobody is perfect, especially in the workplace. Watching co-workers get the axe can be satisfying but also nerve wracking.

One thing is for sure, there is no perfect way to let someone know their out.

Redditor u/bartertownbeer wanted to hear about the times people have witnessed their ex co-workers swift exits by asking.... What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?

Day 2

Episode 12 GIF by Friends Giphy

I was fired on my second day as a line cook at a Mitzel's Restaurant in Washington State back in the 90s.

Turns out I was hired just to threaten the job security of a long-time line cook with an attitude problem; to keep him in line. He got the message and apologized to the manager, and I was fired for "breaking a yolk when flipping fried eggs" one time. I'd been a line cook for a few years by then and thought I was doing pretty good. I was taken out the back door and terminated on day 2.

zippyboy

Early Out

Four or so hours. When I was 18 I got a job at a grocery store, along with three others. We all started training together. On the first day we were training in the evening, and one girl asked to go home, she said her head hurt. They said fine, she clocked out, went to grab a grocery cart and started filling it with beer and liquor. The store manager walked over, and asked her if she was having a party. She said yes. Didn't even try to come up with an excuse. Just, "yeah, I am, so I needed to leave early on my first day." basically. He fired her.

houseat261turnerlane

Can I Come Back?

He didn't show up the first day, second day, or third day.

I had to work a double shift for three days straight. Not fun. I answered the phone when he finally 'called in' on the fourth day.

He said, "I'm going to be honest with you, I've been in Orlando. My parents paid for a small vacation as a reward for getting the job. Would it be okay to start next week instead of this week?"

squeeeeenis

3

youre out the big bang theory GIF by CBS Giphy

3 hours into the first shift. Guy lost it serving an annoying customer in a grocery shop, throw a cabbage at her. The manager came and told him to go home cause he finished there. He wasn't surprised. I was standing next to him, it was an entertaining day.

Revolutionary_Oil897

That Summer

This was just a summer job at a fast food place. We had a new girl start and within two days it was apparent she was an idiot and everyone knew that. You could already see the manager questioning his decision.

Then on her third day of work she said she couldn't come in because her mom was in a car accident and in the hospital. Turns out that's an easy thing to disprove in a relatively small town.

Hickspy

Smoked

CoWorker. Smoked like every 40min for like 10min.

Then asked the Boss if he could leave an hour early because he didn't take his Lunch Break.

As my Boss said: "Sure you can, but you don't need to come back."

DantheAlcedo

The Lift

New guy started on Monday and was gone by Friday.

The guy hit some racking in the warehouse with the forklift, boss saw him do it, and the guy decided to lie about it when asked if he knew what happened.

KnightofShaftsbury

The Drop

bowling GIF Giphy

As a teenager, I worked at a bowling alley. Within an hour, a new girl was fired on the spot for dropping a ball on the foot of a complaining patron.

jeff_the_nurse

Crashed and Burned

Before their first day on orientation.

I got hired for a manufacturing job through Manpower (a temp agency). Me and a friend of my wife were both supposed to start on Monday at the plant for a week-long orientation.

She got into a fender bender on her way to orientation, and called them to say that she'd be a bit late, that she just needed to wait on the police to give a statement.

The manager told her not to bother ever coming in.

Girl was torn up. She took pictures and the police report in to the hiring manager, tried to explain things to the company HR managers, but no dice.

She was fired before ever clocking in.

DifficultMinute

I'll take Coffee

tea GIF Giphy

A man was hired to do stock at a tea store that sold lots of delicate China. Manager walked into the back on his like third day and saw him just throwing boxes of tea cups and teapots. Instantly fired.

0bsolescencee

Wake Up! 

I called a temp agency to get someone to help me count inventory. They sent a guy over with a cast on his arm.... That was my first wtf but I went with it because we were just counting parts. Then I came back from lunch and this dude was in my office chair zoned out and drooling on himself with a can of air duster in his lap. I kicked him awake and escorted him out of my warehouse. Never used that temp agency again.

grimcheesers

On Camera

thief GIF Giphy

During their "onboarding" training, they stole my bosses wallet on camera.... 1 hour in....

123abdce

You're Hired

This is the opposite route here but I found it amusing. My boss was out of town and I managed a tea shop near a Starbucks years ago. This kid came in (foreign) and said he was supposed to start today. We were hiring and I trained him etc. My boss came back two days later and had no idea. The kid was in the wrong place but he stayed with us. Hired on the spot without even applying.

ninetiesluddite

A little Rough

A week.

I worked in a bar and a new girl started. At work, she seemed a little rough but was fine.

One day she finished a shift, sat at the bar and ordered a red wine with lemonade and ice in it (not really relevant to the story; just shows she is clearly insane). Her boyfriend came in, they had a huge domestic in front of my manager and several customers and she threw her drink over her bf and dramatically stormed out.

lejolipamplemousse

Wild

New guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won't pass a pee test, as he used his only bottle of clean pee earlier that day when he hired in.

Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles... just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild.

fast_hand84

Where you been?

schitts creek comedy GIF by CBC Giphy

Heard this from a manager I worked with when I worked in fast food.

There was this one kid who didn't show up for work. He ditched work often, so the manager called around, couldn't get anyone to fill in his shift, so she had to fill it for him.

A few hours into his shift, the dude ditching SHOWS UP, with his friends, and orders food from that manager. She fired him on the spot.

ArtPerfect7076

Released

First day of work, he walks in, says "what the heck is up moron?" to the guy that parked next to (didn't touch) his new Camaro he bought since he got hired.

The guy was the CEO of the company I used to work for, on visit to our branch.

Literally ten minutes into his shift he was signing release papers.

NinthReever

Buddy System

I work construction. We had 2 new hires that were friends starting the same day. Boss told one take a coffee order and come back. Took everyone's money and said he needed his friend to go with him cause it was a big order. They never came back.

Dendad1218

Come Hither

This was a while ago at my old job. New guy gets hired as a bus boy. He was super annoying and tried to insert himself into everyone's conversation whether they wanted him there or not. It only took a couple of hours for the whole restaurant to hate him. I was working the bar and he kept eating the bar fruit. I personally didn't care but the manager did. Manager comes over and tells him to stop eating the fruit.

He looks the manager in the eye and eats another piece of fruit. Manager says "Really?" followed by "Come with me to the office". New guy promptly replies with "Alright man, calm down. I can tell you got that big D energy for a good reason" followed with cliche wink and nudge from his elbow. In front of me and like 4 other employees. I wanted to slam my face into the ice bin, it was so cringey to witness.

He promptly walked out the front door 10 minutes later without his uniform on anymore. The worst thing about it was the manager was an insanely laid back guy. Hell, the whole restaurant was insanely laid back. You really had to try hard to get fired from this place. Had he not thrown in that big D line, I'm almost positive he would have just gotten a slap on the wrist and kept the job.

Slim_Thicc_Jesus

Oh Jeremy

Moving company, midwest.

Most people didn't make it through the first week, they will hire literally anyone who can pass a drug test. Trunover was really bad but i guess thats the nature of the job. I'll never forget Jeremy.

Jeremy was 18, did not apply for colleges, so his parents made him get a job. He was hired as a mover, as is everyone.

He shows up the first day to roll-call in a full suit and tie asking where his desk is. This was a group full of former convicts, high school dropouts, and generally rough dudes trying to make a living. We laughed so hard. Jeremy went right back home.

Next day, Jeremy's mom shows up to give the manager a piece of her mind. We laughed even harder.

MoshedPotatoes

Poof. Gone.

Giphy

Not sure if it counts as being fired, but a guy in our basic training threatened a drill sergeant with a bayonet. No idea what happened after he went to the hospital, but I didn't see him again.

shroom2021

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