Sometimes, no most of the time, an argument isn't worth the stress. It can take a lot of will power and quiet strength but we all have to weigh the options. There are just some minds we will never change. And some people we will just never see eye to eye with, even though we share DNA. So personal sacrifices have to be made in order to continue with peace. And often, many of us must swallow a bitter pill so we don't have to participate in drama.
Redditor u/splashingseal wanted to discuss all the times we've let things go for one reason or another by asking.... What's the worst thing you've tolerated to avoid confrontation?In the cupboard....
My flatmate will put my earphones in my food cupboard to tidy them away, but then leave all his dishes about the kitchen and living room
Not the worst, but so needlessly infuriating.
On the Edge....
An emotionally abusive relationship where I was constantly on edge because almost every single conversation resulted in an argument or me being put down. One night he had a huge fight with my mother, and I still went home with him. I immediately texted her to say he was being an ahole and that I actually agreed with her, but I didn't want to deal with the stress of him picking a fight with me about it.
That was probably the defining moment that made me start to reflect and realize the relationship was unhealthy.
As of Tuesday.....
My current work situation as of Tuesday. As part of my job I handle the timesheets for my office and my coworker checks them to see if everything is recorded correctly. If I make a mistake, I understand i need correction but the way she's been handling it lately has been too much. Now instead of calling me over to her desk, she just lectures me in front of the entire office. Then sometimes she complains to sups about me within earshot, pretty much repeating what she said very loudly to my face.
She's even made me cry once, but that was more frustration honestly (I'm an angry crier).
I say as of Tuesday because the last blow up over a timesheet error (that I handled on my own) was one too many. I finally had too much and told my sup it was bothering me. I'm hoping she can meditate between us so I don't start to panic every time I hear my coworker sigh a certain way.
The Chair...
GIF by Kim's ConvenienceGiphyMy MSc supervisor taking 6 months to return drafts. By repeatedly doing this, he extended the time it took by 3 years.
Eventually the department chair got wind of this and kicked his butt into gear. I wish I'd approached the chair sooner (well, at all.)
Fredo....
I used to have a roommate and all she ate was fettuccini alfredo for all three meals a day. And she'd only eat half of it and just leave the bowl sitting there. So there were just bowls of half eaten pasta scattered around the house and if we asked her to clean it she'd get upset and yell at us for "making her do all the work".
Yet if anyone else in the house had even a speck of dust near them she'd come in screaming, calling us lazy, telling us how horrible it was for her to live in such a mess. Once she tried to have me kicked out of the house for leaving a half full can of pop lying around that she knocked over and spilled. It was half full because I'd just opened it and was in the middle of drinking it. Meanwhile there's f*cking fettuccini everywhere.
Dad's day....
My fathers wedding. Absolutely hate his wife, her kids. She's a witch and that's not even biased, she's the type to go out of her way to lie in court in a case she has nothing to do with to make people miserable.
He basically blackmailed my sibling and I to come to the wedding ( which we were informed of a week prior as "an important event" and the night before as his actual second wedding) or he would never come to ours in the future.
Yeah, kinda wish I was a confrontational person, just this one time. It would have been glorious.
Oh and then he didn't inform my mother of it. So we kept the secret for another 2 years until he slipped up. Not my story to tell, and that was a conversation I didn't want to have.
Health Issues....
"You guys shouldn't be allowed to become NICU nurses unless you've had a premature baby yourself." Obviously from a mom in the worst moment of her life.
We get a lot of horrible comments or tongue lashing from parents who are just scared, frustrated or mad. I can't retaliate or say anything I might want to say, so we just sit quietly and say we're sorry they're in this situation.
On and On....
90s beauty GIFGiphyAn Uber driver who rambled on and on to me that women shouldn't work, should cook and raise kids. Said repeatedly how his engineer daughter was a disappointment because she works and has his grandkids in daycare. This was shortly after I, a woman, told him I was traveling for work. I just nodded along praying my hotel was closer.
I Hate You....
Right now I'm tolerating an ex roommate treating their gf and my close friend (separate people) like absolute crap, emotionally abusing and manipulating them. It's terrible and I hate.
However, they live quite a ways away from me and as things stand confronting him about it will only make things worse for the people I care about.
So for right now all I can do us my best to be there for them and support them until they find a way to get away from him. It's terrible, and I hate it, and I wish I could just rip him a new one, but I've dealt with people like him before and I know he'll just take it out on everyone else and they wouldn't be able to handle that right now.
Off the Road....
driving rush hour GIFGiphyMy Driving Instructor used to debate me on Islam Vs Christianity (though I'm not sure why - I'm agnostic).
Of course I was completely fine with this, in fact as a Welsh born and bred village lad living in a big multicultural city for the first time, I found it fascinating. He was a fantastic instructor and clearly a good dude. But at one stage he tried his best to convince me that the Charlie Hebdo shooting was justified.
I've never been so glad to be in a situation where eye contact is actively dissuaded.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.