Sometimes, no most of the time, an argument isn't worth the stress. It can take a lot of will power and quiet strength but we all have to weigh the options. There are just some minds we will never change. And some people we will just never see eye to eye with, even though we share DNA. So personal sacrifices have to be made in order to continue with peace. And often, many of us must swallow a bitter pill so we don't have to participate in drama.
Redditor u/splashingseal wanted to discuss all the times we've let things go for one reason or another by asking.... What's the worst thing you've tolerated to avoid confrontation?In the cupboard....
My flatmate will put my earphones in my food cupboard to tidy them away, but then leave all his dishes about the kitchen and living room
Not the worst, but so needlessly infuriating.
On the Edge....
An emotionally abusive relationship where I was constantly on edge because almost every single conversation resulted in an argument or me being put down. One night he had a huge fight with my mother, and I still went home with him. I immediately texted her to say he was being an ahole and that I actually agreed with her, but I didn't want to deal with the stress of him picking a fight with me about it.
That was probably the defining moment that made me start to reflect and realize the relationship was unhealthy.
As of Tuesday.....
My current work situation as of Tuesday. As part of my job I handle the timesheets for my office and my coworker checks them to see if everything is recorded correctly. If I make a mistake, I understand i need correction but the way she's been handling it lately has been too much. Now instead of calling me over to her desk, she just lectures me in front of the entire office. Then sometimes she complains to sups about me within earshot, pretty much repeating what she said very loudly to my face.
She's even made me cry once, but that was more frustration honestly (I'm an angry crier).
I say as of Tuesday because the last blow up over a timesheet error (that I handled on my own) was one too many. I finally had too much and told my sup it was bothering me. I'm hoping she can meditate between us so I don't start to panic every time I hear my coworker sigh a certain way.
The Chair...
GIF by Kim's ConvenienceGiphyMy MSc supervisor taking 6 months to return drafts. By repeatedly doing this, he extended the time it took by 3 years.
Eventually the department chair got wind of this and kicked his butt into gear. I wish I'd approached the chair sooner (well, at all.)
Fredo....
I used to have a roommate and all she ate was fettuccini alfredo for all three meals a day. And she'd only eat half of it and just leave the bowl sitting there. So there were just bowls of half eaten pasta scattered around the house and if we asked her to clean it she'd get upset and yell at us for "making her do all the work".
Yet if anyone else in the house had even a speck of dust near them she'd come in screaming, calling us lazy, telling us how horrible it was for her to live in such a mess. Once she tried to have me kicked out of the house for leaving a half full can of pop lying around that she knocked over and spilled. It was half full because I'd just opened it and was in the middle of drinking it. Meanwhile there's f*cking fettuccini everywhere.
Dad's day....
My fathers wedding. Absolutely hate his wife, her kids. She's a witch and that's not even biased, she's the type to go out of her way to lie in court in a case she has nothing to do with to make people miserable.
He basically blackmailed my sibling and I to come to the wedding ( which we were informed of a week prior as "an important event" and the night before as his actual second wedding) or he would never come to ours in the future.
Yeah, kinda wish I was a confrontational person, just this one time. It would have been glorious.
Oh and then he didn't inform my mother of it. So we kept the secret for another 2 years until he slipped up. Not my story to tell, and that was a conversation I didn't want to have.
Health Issues....
"You guys shouldn't be allowed to become NICU nurses unless you've had a premature baby yourself." Obviously from a mom in the worst moment of her life.
We get a lot of horrible comments or tongue lashing from parents who are just scared, frustrated or mad. I can't retaliate or say anything I might want to say, so we just sit quietly and say we're sorry they're in this situation.
On and On....
90s beauty GIFGiphyAn Uber driver who rambled on and on to me that women shouldn't work, should cook and raise kids. Said repeatedly how his engineer daughter was a disappointment because she works and has his grandkids in daycare. This was shortly after I, a woman, told him I was traveling for work. I just nodded along praying my hotel was closer.
I Hate You....
Right now I'm tolerating an ex roommate treating their gf and my close friend (separate people) like absolute crap, emotionally abusing and manipulating them. It's terrible and I hate.
However, they live quite a ways away from me and as things stand confronting him about it will only make things worse for the people I care about.
So for right now all I can do us my best to be there for them and support them until they find a way to get away from him. It's terrible, and I hate it, and I wish I could just rip him a new one, but I've dealt with people like him before and I know he'll just take it out on everyone else and they wouldn't be able to handle that right now.
Off the Road....
driving rush hour GIFGiphyMy Driving Instructor used to debate me on Islam Vs Christianity (though I'm not sure why - I'm agnostic).
Of course I was completely fine with this, in fact as a Welsh born and bred village lad living in a big multicultural city for the first time, I found it fascinating. He was a fantastic instructor and clearly a good dude. But at one stage he tried his best to convince me that the Charlie Hebdo shooting was justified.
I've never been so glad to be in a situation where eye contact is actively dissuaded.
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"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
