One time, when I was living in New York, at 3 AM, after a night of dancing and revelry, I, and fifty other people were waiting on the "A" train. it had been a solid half hour of frayed patience. And no train had come along. We had all been holding in silence or hushed tones so everyone was annoyed but calm. When suddenly two people who seemed a little mentally "off-kilter" began to joust. At first it was just alarming, but subtle, then one pushed the other to the tracks. Everyone screamed. I fainted, because I'm useless in an emergency. Everyone lived, but I still have nightmares as that is one of my biggest fears.Redditor u/instantaniouspickle wanted to see who needed to discuss the things their eyes can't unsee by asking... What is something you witnessed that you will never forget?
It's inevitable. In life, we are all going to see things that will leave an impression on us; good and bad. We will see these images in our sleep, in our waking moments, and in our imagination. We can't run from them, we have to learn to adjust and live with them. But that doesn't mean we can't wish we could undo having to have seen them. The people who responded to this thread understand.
the 360...total eclipse GIF by HuffPostGiphy
Positive note: I watched the solar eclipse from a mountaintop with a 360 degree view. pictures don't do it justice.
I saw the shadow coming over the ridges towards me for a moment, incredibly fast, blacking them out. Then the light just goes out and the temperature instantly drops. You look around and you can see the sunlight, in the distance in every direction, but not on you. And you actually understand fully that you're standing in the shadow of the moon, pure white sunlight shining around it. Then it's over, and you see the light disappearing over the ridges again.
I saw someone try to rob a Blockbuster Video and the guy behind the counter beat him unconscious with a metal little league bat.
The Place I Live
I was a born and bred city kid who got the idea one summer that it would be great to move into the forest and be a trail worker. This went about as you'd expect, but it was definitely full of eye-opening experiences.
One night, the crew decided to hike (after a full day of work) up a local mountain to have dinner on the top, for "fun."
As we were up there, night fell, and we laid on our backs to look at the clear sky. For the first time, I saw the Milky Way, so many stars, and the actual dome of the sky. I was so shocked I interjected, "it looks just like the planetarium!" It was a long time before I lived that one down, but it was a genuine thrill of my life.
Spread the Gloss
While people watching, saw a guy casually apply chapstick to his lips, then his eyebrows.
Under the Seathe little mermaid sebastian GIF by DisneyGiphy
Here's a non-traumatic one! It was the first time I went snorkeling!
It was a little gloomy out, the sun was shining through some clouds a little bit, but the surface of the water was like a dull dark blue and so I wasn't expecting anything great, but when I put my head under the water, I was instantly hit with the most magical experience of my life. Hundreds and hundreds of fish swimming at me, the sparkle of the mica in the water, the rays of light shining through the water, the deep deep ocean below me, even the forests of kelp looked so beautiful.
At the same time there was a light twinkling sound, it may have been the sound of chains underwater, but it made it feel extra magical. I've seen some stuff in my life, but I remember thinking in that moment, everything that I've ever been through has been worth it up to this point. It sounds super corny, but there's just so much beauty in this world.
Can you imagine having to live through half of that? Now there are plenty of extraordinary things to witness in life, but they always seem to be far and few in between. It feels like the darkest things always resonate longer. I have a friend who has witnessed both of his children's births and as much as he relives them, he is more haunted by the murder of his mother, by his father. Both extraordinary, but one leaves a deeper mark.
The Center Line
I was nine. My dad was driving me to karate and we were following a drunk driver. He was about to call 911 from his car phone (yes mid to late nineties) when this person crossed the center line, hit a car that went down an embankment and the drunk driver flew out of the passenger window. I still remember the sound of the impact and the guy flying out of the window. The car he hit was my friend's mom and she died.
Air show disaster at the Ramstein airforce base in '88. Hard to forget being knocked to the ground by a severed human foot. Was a lot for my young brain to process.
My ex husband and I were on vacation and saw a huge 18-wheeler plow into the SUV in front of them at a red light.
We were right across the road, but stopped at the light and we were the second car. We saw the whole thing. Then all traffic was at a standstill. No one could go anywhere.
The woman was screaming and screaming as they worked to get her out of the SUV. All four of her young children died, as well as her husband. She was fully aware that her entire family was gone. She kept screaming their names. :-(
That still haunts me to this day. It happened back in the mid 90's.
The complete, eerie quiet of NYC on September 12th, 2001.
The weather was perfect, about 70ºF and clear skies with lots of sun. Stores were closed, people weren't working, there were no airplanes, very little subway service (if any), very little traffic, many peoples' cell phones didn't work and we were told not to use them anyway. The hum of transportation, cell phone chatter, and commerce was gone.
It was just a lot of people walking outside, especially in the parks, making eye-contact and nodding to each other with a sad smile as we passed.
This is a pretty traumatic one, but I witnessed my mother's murder. I will never forget the dark silhouette of a man and the bright flashes of each gunshot that hit me. One of the bullets shattered my elbow and I vividly remember my arm swung the wrong way.
I have more details I remember but I think I've shared enough graphic detail from that night.
Life is always going to throw hardship at us with both barrels. That's all part of the "living with it" truth. Living with it can be cumbersome. So share, share what you've got, the good, the bad, the indifferent. You'll never be able to not see it, so it's better to make peace with being a witness.
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Let's face it, we were lied to in school with some of the lessons we were taught.
When we grow up and learn the errors of our ways, we must then strive to relearn the things we thought we know.
How do these myths in education even get started?
It feels like we really shouldn't start listening to anything significant until college.
That's why I stopped paying attention in middle school.
RedditorAthompson9866realized it was time we all discussed and unleashed some truths.
"What is the biggest myth you learned in school that has now been disproven?"
And then... BOOMTed-Ed Animation GIFGiphy
"This is super specific but I had a biology teacher who told us the human genome was so complicated that they'd never be able to map it and then they did like... 3 years later."
"That Dutch people have weird family names because Napoleon forced them to have family names and they chose the silliest ones they could think of."
"Nicknames + place names/German names that got turned into Dutch words. For example 'Naaktgeboren' (born naked) is probably from German 'Nachgeboren' (after born), meaning a child that was born after its father died. It also was already in use before the French invasion, like many of the weird family names."
"That if you did anything bad it would go on your permanent record."
"In retrospect this single lie probably prevents 80% of misbehavior in school, or in my case heavily incentivized avoiding getting caught."
"As someone who worked in schools on the record side, this is true to an extent- most schools send discipline reports so that admin and counselors at each level could look back at your behavior from however long you were in that district- sometimes they transfer it to other schools if you move too. It doesn’t go to the college level but can impact rec letters and if you are expelled that is technically a legal process and can be shared as well."
"Just a few years before the young Einstein completely disrupted physics, the physicists of that time were saying that everything about physics was discovered and understood. That research in physics was dead/dying... Then came in quick successions: general relativity and quantum physics... total revolution!"
Head Forwardnose tissues GIFGiphy
"That you should tilt your head back when you have a nose bleed. Nah bro."
"First time I did that, I vomited. Learned immediately. Never did that again. Whoever suggested that deserves to step on lego for all eternity."
Now that is a dangerous lie... not to mention the taste!
Awake!College Sports Sport GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy
"Bears don't actually sleep then entire time they hibernate."
"Right?! Man, I was taught that any animal that hibernates is just sound asleep through the whole winter. Imagine my surprise when I learned the truth."
"I had a biology teacher try and convince a class of 15 year olds that we humans use 10% of our brain. We told her that she shouldn't base her lesson on 'Lucy' and we Googled it to show her that she was wrong. I got kicked out of the class for pulling out my phone. Had a fun chat with the principal."
"That the metric system would be fully adopted in the US by 1995."
"Interestingly enough I learned today that the US measures it’s pools in meters like sane people so today I stupidly assumed they just use metric for swimming and I walked into a 1.76 mile open water swim thinking it was 1.76 kilometres and ended up doing a way longer swim then I expected but it’s ok I got a cool shirt and came like 200th out of like 700 people so that’s cool."
"Mine is that your tongue has specific areas that taste only specific flavors. Like there was a spot on your tongue that only tasted sweet, one that only taste salty, one that only tasted bitter, etc"
"I immediately started experimenting with my tongue during meals after learning that at school. My conclusion was: That's complete bs. Lol."
Wrong!Special Project Work GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"One day our High School Physics teacher wrote on the blackboard 'Everything you know is wrong.' 40+ years later I think he might have been onto something, but then again maybe not."
The more you know. The better life can be.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
For me, the absolute worst part of being female has always been watching the men in my life get more for much less effort.
A huge part of that came from being the eldest daughter in a Latin family and watching how my brother was fawned over as if he was a unicorn while the girls were given responsibilities on par with our parents.
But just as much of that frustration comes from just ... ya know ... *gestures vaguely at history, headlines, and life in general* stuff.
Reddit user NotPhantomforce asked:
"Girls, what’s the downside of being a female?"
Turns out frustration at a man-centric world isn't the only thing we agree sucks.
Hormones VS Body
"The way hormones f*ck with your body. First puberty. Then childbirth. And top it all off with menopause."
"Don’t forget the monthly cycle…"
"Don’t get me started on the pages long list of BC side effects."
"I dont have biological children and my hormones are messing with my body. Women are hormonally fu*ked either way it's just so unfair"
"It’s also the fact that women are 3 times more likely to get endocrinological diseases bc of our fu*ked up hormones"
"Big boobs that hurt my back. Tis a blessing and a curse"
"Also BOOB SWEAT"
"Having to wear a bra in public and even at home when you have people/family around. At least where I live."
"I’ve wished for decent boobs all of my life. I must have been found on the doorstep because the boobie fairy visited everyone in the family except me. 😢"
"That said, seeing the pain, bother, and expense experienced by my sister, aunts, cousins, etc, I have accepted that ladies with a decent bust really do pay for the privilege!"
"Still just the tiniest bit jealous, though! ❤️"
"Having to pay for a decent bra when you have big boobs otherwise you can't walk, sleep or work."
"The things I'd do to get average-sized boobs and be able to go braless in dresses and tank tops....oh to dream"
- ChanelNo50enhance weird science GIFGiphy
"The complications that come with a vagina. BV again? Uti? Yeast infection from the uti antibiotics? BV came back cause of the yeast infection that you got treating your uti? Such a pain sometimes"
"Tight pants? Wore the same pair of underpants an hour too long? Couldn't quite wipe thoroughly enough because the public bathroom didn't have much TP? Enjoy your BV and/or UTI and/or yeast infection!"
"Having to go to the gynecologist. I literally get lightheaded every time I think of it"
"The speculum looks like a torture device. It makes me wanna die just thinking about it tbh"
"Recently I changed gynecologist. I was in the stirrups waiting for the pain of the speculum aaaannnd.. nothing. There was no pain. For the first time in my life. If you are having pain, it's time to talk to your OBGYN or change OBGYNs!"
- OC*CKazziebaby i'm sorry GIF by truTV’s I’m SorryGiphy
"That to affordably get an IUD in rural BC you can't have any pain relief at its insertion. You're expected to 'tough it out'"
"Edit: I've noticed that this isn't a problem that is just to Canada and to be honest I believed that European countries would offer numbing or something else. I'm horrified to hear that my story of nearly fainting on the table in silence twice is not just my story and I wish they would treat this procedure properly."
"I've read all your stories and I'm sorry for each and every horror one. As for the ones who did manage to get pain relief of some kind, I'm so glad to hear that. I'm glad your experience was not mine (ours: collective of women with stories like this) and I hope that is the future of this procedure."
"Wait are painkillers for IUD insertion a thing? My nurse just told me to take ibuprofen and held my hand lol and I'm in NYC"
"I’m in the US and on my 3rd IUD, I didn’t know pain relief for that was a thing anywhere"
"Comments like these break my heart. Maybe it’s bc my GYN is fairly young, but before I had my first IUD she straight up gave me Valium. She was like 'you don’t have to take this, but you’ll probably want to'.”
"I havent had a period in over 2 years thanks to birth control. Am I a little depressed, a little anxious, and possibly other unknown side effects from it? Maybe, but at least I'm not bleeding...so that's something"
"Edit: I am in a same-sex relationship, and I don't ever want kids, so I couldn't care less about it affecting fertility. It's perfectly fine for me to skip all my periods. I'm actually pretty happy with my bc overall. Even cleared up my acne over time!"
"I, for one, revel in the total badassery that is Shark Week by imagining that I am a warrior in an ancient world like Game of Thrones and have secured the defeat of my uterus"
"Or I just sit on the couch and complain with a heating pad."
- bopshebop2Season 2 Period GIF by AwesomenessTVGiphy
The Pain Is Real
"Nobody believes your pain."
"I was in labor with my first son and was dilated to about a 6. I asked for the epidural because the contractions were bad and I was starting to feel faint. They said “oh I bet you can hold off a little longer. These aren’t that bad yet.” Like excuse me??? No, go get the numbing magic. If I say I’m in pain and need help with it, I mean it."
"My ma gave birth to me on the hottest day of the year and was severely dehydrated. Technically she wasn’t supposed to take in any fluids while in labor but her heart rate would drop super low, which made MY heart rate drop, so they hooked her up to an IV and she went through so many of those saline bags."
"To top it off she was in labor for over 24 hrs, had gone through TWO epidurals, and I just refused to come out. Mom’s sobbing, screaming “get her out” over and over again."
"Doc comes in and take one look at my mom and goes, “I’ll come back and check in a few more hours.” Mom watches as a nurse grabs his arm and YANKS him back into the room and tells him, 'NO. She cannot do this anymore. We need to get this baby out NOW'.”
"20 mins and one vacuum extraction later, there I was! Mom always credits that nurse for saving her life."
- lilcipherbirth GIFGiphy
"My mom went into labor on a Friday night and went to the hospital the next day. A male doctor said everything was okay, and discharged her without taking anything she was saying into consideration. She continued to be in labor on Sunday, and when she called the hospital about her pain being minutes apart another male doctor asked why she hadn’t come in."
"She told him she had the day before and then my dad had to speed her to the hospital, carefully running every red light. Here’s the kicker, because that first doctor ignored my mom’s pain she wound up having an emergency C-section Sunday night. I was born 3 months prematurely that night in 1993. I’m disabled because of that and my mom sometimes still blames herself even though she did everything right. She couldn’t even sue for malpractice because the first doctor wrote that everything was fine in her chart."
They Blame It On The Period
"Any time you express yourself, or get upset about something, even if it's something to get legitimately upset about, you almost always get a 'aRe YoU oN yOuR pErIoD?'."
"ugh, YES. The slightest bit of animation or expression in your voice and it’s immediately ‘omg stop taking it so personally, why are you getting so emotional over this?’. And people wonder why I monotone a lot these days."
"As$holes be roid raging 24/7 but somehow women are the emotional ones."
"Omg my ex husband said this to me during our last fight! Yeah it’s my period making me scream at you for being rip roaring drunk at noon on a Tuesday. Kicked him out that day, now he doesn’t have to worry about my cycle."
"Any engagement from us that isn’t saccharine is taken as anger and it’s irritating. I’ve politely asked men not to do something and even when I was speaking in a calm manner, the response was 'don’t be so upset'."
Assumption of being a caretaker
"The expectation of being a caretaker. Kids, ageing parents, it always seems to be expected of the woman to be in this role."
"I don’t have a maternal bone in my body. This phenomenon drives me insane."
"My husband is listed as the primary contact for schools and doctors offices because his job provides a lot more flexibility than mine."
"They still always call me first when they need to reach us about the kids. My daughter was going to have surgery and he was trying to handle the scheduling. He would call and leave a message with the nurse line with his phone number and they would turn around and call me and leave a message on my cell, which I couldn’t answer because I was working and unavailable. I would let him know they called. He would call again and the same thing would happen. It was absolutely maddening."
"Dads can manage the kids, too. Stop assuming moms are the only ones who know what’s going on with the kids."
"I work in a nursing home and the children who are responsible for their parent, getting things done for their parent, communicate with the staff, are always the daughters. The sons hop in every few weeks to say hi to their parent and that’s it."
Patriarchy, periods, and pain ...
Yep. This sucks sometimes.
It's always interesting what ages well and what doesn't.
And, for that matter, how quickly something ages.
How often do we find ourselves sitting down to watch a film or TV show from only ten years ago to see how poorly it holds up?
Or, for that matter, how ten years ago we thought something would be the next big craze or trend, and instead see it become obsolete with each passing year.
Redditor jerydajery was curious to hear what things people were attracted or fascinated by a decade ago, but have little to no interest in today, leading them to ask:
"What was attractive 10 years ago but now isn't anymore?"
"Honestly, I miss the blogging culture."
'Articles written with honesty and passion, mostly to connect with real-life friends first and online audiences second."
"Only the biggest bloggers could make a living off blogging."
"They were the original influencers."
"Easy to avoid though because there were just a handful of them, unlike the influencer culture of today."
"The one thing I love about blogging culture were the honest reviews."
'No advertisers to please, just regular folks writing their opinions on something they’ve used long term."
"Back then Google even had a specific search engine exclusively for blogs."
"Blogs were proper article length."
"Then Twitter came out and no one has the attention span anymore."
"That was the beginning of blogging downfall."
"What a shame."- Aemilia
Will probably skip the reunion...
"Swear, every one of them is on crack now."- DOEsquireGiphy
Won't be much use anymore...
"Mayan calenders."- ThreeEdgeSword
"2020 definitely sounded attractive 10 years ago."
Did people actually do this?
"Having a moustache tattooed on the side of your finger."- garynzillaGiphy
Did anyone rock this look though?
"Girls rocking that Han Solo look."- CregDerpington
Everyone's getting so tense...
"I remember everyone going nuts about thigh gaps."- baeraerm·
People must have wanted to lighten the mood...
"Black granite countertops, apparently."- genteelbartender
Not so "hip" any more...
"Hipster culture made a 180."
"Now that's just a bad stereotype of a millennial."- steamedpastaGiphy
The world becomes a different place with each passing year.
One can only imagine things we can't get enough of today which we won't be able to bear the sight of in ten years.
Though, it's safe to assume one thing we wouldn't mind seeing less of are medical masks and mobile testing sights...
Friendships are one the most important and intimate connections young people make. Friends are the people you are close to, who you grow up with, and who are always there for you when you need them.
A majority of people have best friends. That's the one friend who you trust and love above everyone else. The one who has proven he'll always be there for you and the one you're ready to drop everything for.
However, not all friendships are meant to last. Sometimes, one or both of you will change. Other times, you'll just drift apart. And sometimes, the friendship will end because of malicious actions. Redditors seem to have a lot of those stories!
Curious about what broke apart once strong friendships, Redditor gli-tc-h asked:
"People of reddit what ended your friendship with your best friend?"
Work And Friendships Do Not Mix
"I gave one of my best friends a job at my convinince store when he was down on his luck. He worked in his dad's shop previously for like 6.50 an hour and his dad was toxic so he quit and came to work for me till je got a better job. The inferiority complex kicked in and he started talking down to me and talking about how I was spoiled and a daddy's boy "my dad gave me the shop.""
"I paid him the best money he ever made and he would routinely go off on me for perceived managerial issues or start stupid arguments with customers like not selling kids toy guns because they would be at risk and not selling cigarettes or beer to pregnant women, which I understand is a personal choice but as a business I can't just refuse to sell people sh*t their allowed to buy legally. Covid hit and he became a huge antimasker and I finally fired him after a huge blowout about me trying to establish a mask policy. He's a marine now and got married to a girl he knew for two weeks. We still talk but I've never trusted him since. It sucks because I think he was just like me but from a worse situation. If I was in his shoes maybe I would be way worse."
"I got tired of always being the one to put forth any effort. Fly across the world to meet up, attend family gatherings, reach out, be patient, make sacrifice. It was good times when we were together. So it was worth it for a while but when she moved close and still never bothered to make an effort, I was over it. Wish her nothing but the best."
Not A Real Friend
"When I realized he was a bully. I just wanted his friendship and attention, and then I realized he was using me for kicks."
"I put up with his bullsh*t because I wanted to be liked."
Neither A Borrower Nor A Lender Be
"After 14 years of friendship we get an apartment and suddenly he loses his job as a personal trainer because of a dress code violation (he wore a hoodie to work, allegedly) and then 2-3 months of him not working. Then after he agreed to pay me back eventually, all he ever gave me was $400 from his mom (I paid over 14,000 for the year). So I paid the full year lease and he stayed 8 months total. I never talked to him again also because I found a receipt where he was trying to make a copy of my car keys make and model. F*CK THAT GUY"
Flirting With Disaster
"Every single time that I would tell her I was interested in/talking to a guy, she would try to get with him. She was never successful but it hurt that she kept trying. I confronted her about this in a very nice and civil way and explained to her how I felt about this. She apologized profusely and promised it would never happen again. And then it happened again. I just immediately cut her off after that, no explanation or words needed. She knows what she did. Haven't spoken a word to her since"
Just Didn't Mesh Well
"Took an international vacation where we realized we hated damn near everything each other did the whole time. Realized year of seeing each other 1-2 times a month made us hardly know each other."
Me, Myself, & I
"Just made a post about this but she uses me as a therapist but when I try to vent to her, she gives me a few cliche words of support before turning the conversation back to her. It's gotten to the point where we don't talk unless she has a bad day and needs someone to talk to. She'll take days or even a week to respond to a funny meme but then immediately start dumping on me about things going on on her life. I'll invite her out to have fun and within a few hours, I'm being her life coach."
"Also, we just started to grow apart. She's turned into her parents and her parents are the typical snobby surban people that are extremely judgemental."
"She didn't invite me to her birthday party. It was my first time back from college and I would have been able to go. She made a whole Facebook event page and invited everybody but me. I found out through mutual friends, the kicker was no one showed up and she called me crying that this other girl didn't show up."
"A friend did something similar when he didn't invite me to his wedding. He called me years later apologizing when he needed to vent about his marriage."
A Passive Lady Macbeth
"My husband at the time had to step away from his job because he was dealing with pretty severe mental health issues. We had a young child and I was a stay-at-home mom and it was really devastating not only financially, but socially as a lot of our social life revolved around his job and work friends."
"I was really good friends with a coworker’s wife. The coworker moved into my husband’s (higher up) position when my husband had to resign. We had to sell our home since we couldn’t make the mortgage payment anymore. The friend came to help me pack, and while doing so told me that they always knew this would happen because the Lord had revealed it to the husband in a dream several years earlier. They had basically been waiting around for my husband to “fail” so that coworker could “succeed” and fulfill the Lord’s prophesy."
"Yeah no. Said goodbye to her, moved out of state, and never looked back. I won’t tolerate people using religion to be jerks."
"I’m a leap year baby, I try to make a big deal of my bday since it only comes every four years. My 24th, I booked a beach house to spend it with my family, my other best friend and her. Told her two months in advanced. Paid for everything and family took care of the food, so all she had to do was show up. The day comes and she said she couldn’t come cause she couldn’t get off work early enough (we were there on a Thursday-Sunday) so I thought she’d at least make an effort to come on the weekends. She never came. Then a week later, she tweets that she’s compulsively took time off work to watch F1. Felt like she couldn’t even make time for me but can make time to watch cars racing."
It's never easy or fun to lose a friendship, but it is sometimes part of life.
Sometimes, it's something that will always haunt you, but you can learn from that. And other times, it's just a way of expelling toxicity from your life, and you can find better friends who will enrich your life.