Google is a dangerous tool. It leads to the world of the internet that can be worrisome and vicious just as much as it is plentiful and full of knowledge. Our lives are an open book and our secrets just a key stroke and google search away. Go ahead and get it over with now... type in your name and pray.
Redditor u/MBMV wanted to know who has discovered a few tidbits about themselves by doing an "innocent" internet search by asking.....
DUH
Feeling Dumb Jim Carrey GIFGiphyLots of recordings of me asking the Google Assistant stupid questions.
Google has recordings of me saying: "Ok Google, tell me a joke" ... "That was the stupidest freaking joke I've ever heard in my life."
And you are?
That I'm a 64 year old woman.
I'm a 40 year old man.
I dunno....... see I don't know you but Google is pretty reliable.
Have you tried being a 64 year old woman?
The Mobile Issues
Found out my wife was addicted to a mobile game and had dropped $6500 on it over the last year and a half.
That set of a string of fun conversations.
My mom told me she was spending up to $600 a month on Facebook and mobile games. She used to be a millionaire, and she thought the oil checks would never stop coming- but they were getting smaller and smaller.
Then one day, they stopped. She lives with my sister now, works at a call center, pays no rent and almost had to declare bankruptcy. She still plays mobile and fb games non-stop, as soon as she gets off work she starts drinking and chain smoking cigarettes and playing her games. My sister keeps asking her where all her money goes, I keep telling her "games," and she won't believe me. shrugs.
Edit for clarity: she didn't spend millions of dollars on games, the games started after her money went down and they continued after she moved in with my sister and she had to get a job at a call center. A lot of her money goes to alcohol and cigarettes too (she smokes a pack a day and she smokes the expensive kind lmfao).
Data
star trek laughing GIFGiphyIf we're being honest, I was more horrified about looking through my own browsing data.
Turn off Web Search History and set your history to delete every 3 months.
Balance Off....
About a year ago I had a stroke. I only found out exactly when, after going through my Google history and finding that I googled "loss of balance sudden" right after that moment.
I was sitting on a bed in a bedroom one afternoon just working on my laptop and then it felt like someone was pushing my head down on the bed. For the first few minutes or even hours I tried going from room to room but would always lose my balance and collapse on a nearby bed or couch. I threw up a couple of times.
I thought I could sleep it off but I couldn't, thought I was hungry but just kept throwing up what I ate. Fortunately during this I managed to text my brother and he took me to the ER. It was an ischemic stroke of the cerebellum. My balance is still wonky to this day, and I've needed to relearn how to walk. Nowadays I use a wheelchair, walkers, or canes.
The Photobook....
Old naked pics of ex. I thought I deleted it, but Google stored in cloud. Weird.
Edit: stop asking about the photos, it is not funny.
That's because google backs up your mobile photos. On an android open up "google photos" and it will show all the images you've ever taken with your google account across all the android phones you've owned. Really it should be an opt in, not an opt out but theres merit for it being automatic like this. Photos can be precious to you so its good they get backed up.
"Hey Google"
The fact that they saved every link you visited if you use Chrome or Google. That's kind of screwed up. And hearing recordings of the google assistant, when you didn't even say "Hey Google." Oh, and a full track record of your location in coordinates with timestamps.
So they just save everywhere you have ever been as long as you don't turn it of in settings. I think it's the settings under the Maps History tab? I just turned of all of the privacy related stuff.
Same thing goes for YouTube btw, turning off video and search history seems to stop them from tracking your video history.
Directed.....
Latin GIF by Apple MusicGiphyA few years ago I downloaded all my Facebook data finding every direct message I'd ever sent was in there, many of which I had deleted from my account.
Too long didn't read terms of service.
It's a plugin for browsers and tells you tldrs of terms of service. Like how FB and Instagram and such don't delete your posts, they just keep it and hide it from you and whoever looks at your account.
The Unplanned....
It's mostly zipped files and i can't understand it but,
They appear to track my location several times per minute with the exact GPS coordinates. I think i turned location history off not sure if they still do.
They also for some reason had the movie "unplanned" listed with words like gross, distasteful, unsettling, which were an indication of my feelings about this movie. No other movies or TV shows where listed in this manner.
Interesting Convo
Cant Speak Nathan Fillion GIFGiphyRecordings of whole conversations where it thought I said ok Google and then kept recording for a half hour.
Classic mistake. I also sometimes think that someone said my name and then listen intently making notes on everything said for the next 30 minuets. Could happen to anyone really.
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"What's an unspoken rule on a first date?"
EyeContact, And Not With Your Screen...
"Your phone is not part of the date."- Wonderful-Note9289
"Don't be on your phone the whole time."
"And don't talk about your ex."- HoW-LoNg-DoCtOR-YES
Think Very Carefully Before That Second Round
"Don’t drink too much."- drivethruhell
"Had a date like this."
"Within the first 90 minutes they had taken like three shots, and were on their third drink."
"I understand wanting to calm your nerves, but damn."
"The whole 'you need to play catch up LOL' isn't as cute as you think it is."
"We did not go on any other dates."- mothershipq
Drink GIFGiphyThere Is no Scent More Intoxicating Than Your Own...
"Have a shower beforehand."- Porriz
"And take it easy with the perfume/cologne."
Your date shouldn't smell you before they see you."- imnotlouise
No One Likes A Moocher...
"Don't order any extras plates to eat at home with your mom when the other is paying."- lil_wavey999
Always Be On The Same Page...
"Both should know it is a date."- mosquitohater2023
"I met a woman at an out of town festival through a friend of mine that she was hooking up with."
"She ended up taking too many shrooms and I spent an hour with her helping her to feel calmer."
"She is a traveling nurse and was going to be in my city in a few weeks so we exchange numbers and when she gets in town she asked if I want to get some sushi."
"Happy to make a new friend, we meet up, talk a lot about my friend that she’s hooking up with telling funny stories about him."
"Eventually it comes up that I’m leaving the next day for a 3 week trip to Europe with my girlfriend and she screams, 'I thought this was a f*cking date!'"
"Reeeeaaallly awkward."- redmoskeeto
Dating Wtf GIF by MaxGiphyBe Open And Transparent...
"Not a rule but never make the other person carry the conversation."
"You're both here to make an effort and give each other the respect."
"If you both want different things then let it be said after."
"No need to hurt someone's self-respect for your ego."- Arkjump
"Be there with honest intentions and nothing else."- S-Vagus
Or At Least Be Willing To Share
"Don’t order 3 full meals."- WinkMartindale
"AND expecting him to pay for all of it."
"I mean sure if you want to take some home for your mom, you pay for that yourself."- Widowhawk·
GiphyBe Prepared For A Lack Of Shared Interests...
"Leave the coin collection at home, wow her with that on the second date."- IronLion11·
Choose Your Activities Carefully
"Don't go to the movies or a fancy dinner on your first date if you don't already know this person."
"The movies is a place where you sit in silence for 2 hours staring straight ahead."
"That does not give you any opportunity to get to know the other person."
"A sit down dinner can be perfectly fine, but if you know within the first 10 minutes that you have no desire to spend any more time in this person's presence, you're stuck through the rest of the meal."
"First dates should always be intentionally short with an option to extend."
"Coffee, froyo, drinks, things that can turn into an hour of talking or 'would you like to grab a bite to eat?'"- baltinerdist
Get Your Emotions Under Control
"Don't excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then accidentally think about your ex while in there, have to fight back tears, and then come back to the table after way too long, with puffy red eyes."
"Whoops." - Reddit
Sad That 70S Show GIF by LaffGiphyJust Be Open And Honest... To an Extent...
"Don't: Unload on your date about your trauma."
"Gotta keep that sh*t under wraps until at least date 5."
"Do: Be yourself, unless your whole personality teeters on your traumatic history--in that case, self-deprecating humor will suffice until you can successfully abandon all hope and sit in your car for an hour to cry afterward."-Deep-Essay-4829
A Conversation Is A Two-Way Street
"Usually when asked a question I’d answer it and then hit her with a 'what about you?'"
"To ensure that I wasn’t dominating the convo."
"Let the other person speak."- bumboclawt
... NOPE...
"Bring an egg, uncooked, in your pocket."
"Casually let it fall out at the end of the date."
"This establishes you as a breadwinner, who else has the money to just carry eggs around in their pockets?"
"When your date, inevitably, wants to know more about the egg just shrug it off."
"You're not here to brag, your egg does that for you."- wearywarrior
Broken Heart Love GIF by Share It AgainGiphyIf there is one rule absolutely everyone should follow when going on a first date, it's not being beholden to rules, spoken or unspoken.
After all, the best romances are often the ones which happen organically.
Love cannot be forced.
Not to startle any of you, but death stalks us.
We all have nightmares about diseases and murderers.
But what if, in the end, we just choke on a pickle we inhaled too fast?
Maybe instead of a pickle, a little coleslaw would have been the wiser choice.
We'll never know.
The most minute things can send us packing.
Redditor SuffocatedByThighs wanted to discuss the things that can extinguish our lives in the most basic ways, so they asked:
"What simple mistake has ended lives?"
Tripping over untied shoelaces.
It can break your neck.
TIE YOUR SHOES!!!
Off the Rocks
On No Falling GIF by Outside TVGiphy"There have been too many instances of rock climbers rappelling off of the ends of their ropes, which could have been easily avoided by tying stopper knots at the ends of their ropes."
LZRDLZRD
Seconds
"I worked at a tire place for a summer and the first thing they told me was 'See that torque wrench? One mistake with this and you can kill a whole family in a matter of seconds.' I thought well, better take this thing seriously."
FrenchMicrowave
"Man for a second I was thinking 'F**k you'd have to swing that thing around fast to take out an entire family' and just bluescreened on the idea of changing a tire."
lurking_my_a**_off
How Vexing...
"THERAC-25. The world’s deadliest software error. Cost several radiation patients their lives by administering lethal amounts of radiation, and for a while, the doctors didn’t even know."
Longjumping_Event_59
"THERAC-25 suffered a particularly vexing sort of error known as a race condition. Essentially, the circuit required multiple inputs in a particular sequence, but sometimes the timing of that sequence could get thrown out of whack and it would lead to all sorts of nonsensical output."
"This is less than ideal when all you're doing is manipulating pixels, but when your software is handling radiation beams you really don't want this to happen."
"Even more vexing is that race conditions are frequently heisenbugs, which can vanish altogether when one attempts to study them. If you don't have a good idea of what's causing the error, you may never cotton on to what sort of bad input is required to test it. Under those circumstances, it's easy to write them off as imaginary, only to then find."
dancingmadkoschei
Heavy Drifting
"Leaving the stranded vehicle on the road in winter and trying to walk to get help. It happens in rural parts of our province once or twice a year and they find the body a few days later. They get disoriented and freeze."
Regina_Runner
"I got blown off a road in high winds. Heavy drifting. Less than a mile from a friend's house after I had turned around. Drifts made it impossible to complete the trip. Trying to run a mile in full blizzard conditions was a fight for my life as an in-shape 24-year-old male athlete.
"rotyag
Simple Slips
Uh Oh Omg GIF by BounceGiphy"Almost any simple mistake can end a life if you're an anesthesiologist, that's how my grandpa died in his early 60s."
dwserps
Any second. Any moment.
Stay vigilant people.
Celibacy could be better...
Oh My Wow GIFGiphy"Not being honest with doctors about Viagra. It has many dangerous drug interactions and can cause a lot of problems from what I’ve heard. Trust me the doctor ain’t gonna judge you guys, they have seen many more embarrassing things. And it would suck to die because you wanted to hide something just for it to be later stated in your death certificate."
The_upsetti_spagetti
Check the Numbers
"As a healthcare worker, giving the wrong amount of insulin."
UzumakiHorror
"During the first shift of my first clinical rotation in nursing school, I watched a nurse draw up insulin out of an auto-injector pen that was CLEARLY marked to specifically not do that AND she was drastically wrong about the dosage and almost killed a guy by giving him essentially like a hundred times the intended dose."
someguynamedg
Stay In
"Pulling the knife out of someone."
rcadephantom
"Yeah, I did that but it was a broken tree branch that had impaled my leg. Without even thinking I pulled it out. Blood started gushing so I pulled off my shirt and tied it into a pressure bandage. I was lucky I didn’t bleed to death."
Olddog_Newtricks2001
"Shock is an IQ reducer. I once sliced a bit off the side of my hand with a broken glass, and sort of dazedly picked off the piece of me and tried to stick it back on. It did not work."
UncannyTarotSpread
Stay Dirty
"Mixing cleaning ingredients."
Jonnysource
"My dad was trying to unclog his kitchen drain and mixed drain cleaners by adding one then adding another a few minutes later. It started bubbling and he began coughing intensely. I heard him coughing from the other room, saw what happened, and opened the nearby window to get rid of the chlorine gas he just produced."
"I forgot there was a large hive of wasps that had moved into that window and they did not appreciate this unexpected interruption. I took him to the emergency room for the gas exposure and it was tough explaining that the wasp stings were not why we were there."
CharmingTuber
Dear God
Jeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphy"A friend’s husband locked himself out of their home. He tried to get in through a window that had security bars. While squeezing through his foot slipped and he essentially hung himself on the window sill."
Cokej01
Life is fleeting. Here is proof.
LIVE!! But live smart.
