I have to admit. I was not fond of being poor. I was ten when I realized my family had some financial issues. My mother sat me down to explain that she needed to go to the food drive to get somethings. It had been a hard year and she wanted me to be prepared in case someone we knew saw us. It was heartbreaking.
My mother has always been a hard worker and she hates asking for help. So that's why it infuriates me when people try to say that being poor is just a mentality and the poor should just try not to be poor. My mother did make it out of several financial holes but it was always an uphill battle, because the truth is... being poor only makes you more poor. The system is designed that way.
Redditor u/26point2PipeDream wanted everyone to start realizing that the game is rigged, often by the system keeping the poor, poor. They asked everyone to explain by inquiring... In what way is it expensive to be poor?
There are so many small details from the everyday, mundane that people with out an endless well of money have to do to survive. And it all may seem like nothing, but the nothings add up. They add up to spending and debt that can be necessary to survive. Look at real estate. Paying outrageous amounts of rent is fruitless. And mortgage is cheaper. But who can afford down payment for a mortgage? Maybe if you could get a free year of rent you could save for it. Hmmm....
Clothing Transport
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I saw a lady coming out of a laundromat, loading her baskets of clothes into a taxi (there is zero other public transport where I saw this happen and only a few taxis).
Not being able to put enough money together at one time to buy a car or a washing machine (she probably rented so this maybe wasn't even an option) was costing her a fortune. Just being nickeled and dimed to death.
Don't Accept
If you're ever desperate enough to take out a title/payday loan you'll discover you just stepped in financial quicksand.
About a year and a half ago I forgot to leave enough money in my bank account for a payment that needed to be done. It wasn't much, around $500 maybe, but didn't want the late payment and fees that come with it, so I decided to look into the payday loans. I needed $500 to last until Friday (when I would be paid)... I checked on it on Monday.
When I was to click "Accept", I read the entire thing... it said I had to pay back $950 IF I paid on Friday...or about $2,500 if I went with their payment plan.
I NOPED out of that bull as fast as I could, called my bank and I luckily had overdraft protection or whatever, payment went through and all I had to pay was like $15 or something for the overdraft.
Fees, fees and fees...
There are late fees for everything. Overdraft fees at the bank. Sh!tty jobs usually don't have good healthcare plans. If you're poor, you need credit cards just to survive, but interest rates are higher for those with low credit scores (see late fees above). Crappy cars are always breaking down, and that's expensive.
Death is Easier
Healthcare. That's the big one. If you don't have a healthcare plan, or have a crappy one you don't go to the doctor unless it's life or death. That means small problems that could have been caught in the beginning become hugely expensive problems later on.
Just Walk
Like parking tickets. I couldn't afford the £2 to pay to park my car so I get a £30 fine, after 2 weeks it goes up to £60 and so on. If I didn't have £2 to park in the first place I don't know how they think I can pay more.
Have you ever watched "killed by my debt"? That was about how a parking fine spiralled into severe debt and worse.
When you're poor you have to crafty. You also have to be thrifty and smart ,but crafty is often overlooked. See poor people are constantly in a fight to survive so learning how to maneuver is a key going forward. You just have to maneuver very carefully. Don't fall for the financial traps. They're always ready to get you. Case in point...
Renting is like Credit
Credit Card Money GIF by Hustlers
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Renting to own anything is really bad. You pay 4X the value of whatever it is you're renting to own. And if you miss a payment they repossess it and someone else might start at the beginning of attempting to pay for it again. Not only that you very well might be paying 4X the new value for a used item.
And only low quality items are sold rent to own. Ashley furniture, crappy used cars, the cheapest big screen TVs available at wholesale. Houses might be better, but rent a center, and JD Byrider are worse than loan sharks.
Skyrocketing rates
Being stuck with higher interest rates because you don't have enough credit to get low rates.
The fact that rent payments aren't added into the credit score equation is bull. Or even just into mortgage lending.
How a lender can ignore me paying upwards of $1500 a month in rent while contemplating a mortgage loan that is equivalent to $850 a month. You'd think that would be a pretty safe bet right there.
The Pre-Pay Options
You can seldom buy in bulk, so you end up paying more for thing. For example, our local butchery sells ground beef cheap if you buy 2 kg or more at a time. If you're paid weekly and can afford only 500 g per week, you end up paying more.
Buying in bulk is a huge money saver.
And it's so damn expensive.
You don't just need the money in advance to buy the groceries. You also need a freezer or cooler large enough to store it. And of course a vehicle to get it home. So many things to pre-pay before you can start saving.
Luxuries
I'll add that when you have less money the power relationship is flipped in nearly every financial interaction you have.
When you have money, banks and companies compete to get access to your reliable spending, be it with low interest rates on borrowing or better deals for early payment. They have to compete because you have the option to go to someone else who will gladly take your payment history and stable income.
You're a safe bet, so you have the luxury of choice.
When you don't have money institutions know you have nowhere else to go. So they happily gouge you knowing agreeing to horrendous loan terms is your only option.
I teach econ and always remind my kids that commercials boasting about "no credit, low credit, no problem!" know exactly who they're getting in the door. People who have nowhere else to go.
Time for Restructure
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The justice system. If you can't pay a fine, the state will make things more expensive by adding fees on top of fees on top of fees, then they will incarcerate you for not paying the inflated fees. Then you have to pay the parole officer who is keeping an eye on you while you care unable to get a job that pays enough to pay him.
Keeping Clean
Not having in-home laundry is a great example.
Say it costs you $4 to do your laundry each week (which I think is very cheap). In 5 years you will have spent over $1000 on laundry.
For $1000 you can get a good washing machine that would last you through those 5 years, then another 5 years, and maybe a lot more. And that doesn't count the time saved doing laundry at home, and any transportation costs.
Transport Worries
My car has a leaky seal on the transmission. It'd be about $250 to replace the seal and flush the transmission. I don't have $250, so I keep topping up the fluid and keep driving it because I'll never get $250 if I don't get to work. But, in time, that's going to destroy the transmission, which will be about $1200 to replace.
Edit: I never thought I'd say this in my entire life, but please stop offering me money. (I know. I'm insane, right?)
I'm getting by and my world will not end if my cars dies. It will be irritating and problematic, but I have other options I can make work, if the worst happens. In the mean time, plans are in place to resolve the issue and I have every reason to think that my car will survive until I can repair it.
I cannot tell you how much these offers mean to me. It has really made my night to have so many people want to help. Please, I ask you to turn your generous offers to others who are in a much more dire situation than I am.
There are several who commented on other threads on this post (as well as at least one who commented on this thread). I would not feel comfortable taking money under these circumstances when I have other options available to me. In short, other people here need it more.
Know that your kindness has made me smile on a day when really needed some brightness. I cannot put into words my gratitude. Thank you all.
For Walking
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If you're well off, you buy 1 pair of boots for $150 and they last a lifetime.
If you're poor, you buy boots for $30 and they last a winter.
You end up spending more, because you can't afford to spend more. Terry Pratchett uses it to explain poverty via Sam Vines in one of his City Watch books.
Shady Funds
If you can't maintain a minimum balance or don't have a bank in your neighborhood or were raised to be suspicious of banks and don't have a bank account, you've got to pay fees to cash your paychecks. Then there are fees to buy money orders to pay your bills-- or the cost of getting TO the utility office or car dealership or wherever to pay in cash.
Mouth Matters
So is one dental cleaning every 6 months (the reason its 6 months is because that is the time when cavities can form). Root Canals are now thousands of dollars and those dentists demand up front payment for those expensive services. Most people don't have an extra 2 grand in their bank account for a root canal.
Big Plans
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Mental health. Or more specifically stress. You will always have stress about future, always making decisions based on your poverty so that it won't affect your situation in bad way.
What Really Hurts
Everything is expensive when you're poor. Jokes aside, this is true. I've been poor for most of my life and I'm still not in a great financial situation. And the biggest problem is that you not only don't have a lot of money, but all the prices stay the same, so literally ANYTHING that you buy feels like a fortune.
I walked to the grocery store do buy some stuff to make a special dinner on my daughter's birthday and I spent about R$100,00 (about 20 dollars I think, Idk), and I swear I'd win an Oscar for how I kept my poker face. The second I walked out of the store I bursted out crying. Everyone on the street could see me crying as I walked back home. Seeing my daughter's smile later that day during dinner made me feel a lot better, but those R$100 ($20) REALLY hurt.
The Assist
If you're poor you already have no or very little money to invest in yourself, so you have to take on debt to do so. If you want to get technical certifications or degrees. Sometimes there's financial assistance but a lot of the time taking on loans is necessary.
Miles and Miles and Miles...
Tires! Used tires cost 1/3 price and get about 20% of the life of a new tire. Also you are paying mount and balance every time, plus worry about blow outs. Even a new tire at $80 with a 30K mileage expectancy or a $100 tire at 65k mileage warranty. Over twice the life, little more than 20% in extra charge.
A Hole
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Debt. Basically if you're poor you need to borrow some money to either get a house or buy food and after a while the debt keeps getting bigger and bigger.
In this moment the country is in the throws of cultural and financial battles. As I type, we await the Senate rulings on a financial plan for Covid. And the squabbling is endless. One of the main sticking points is raising the minimum wage to $15 and hour. Some Senators act like people are asking for a million dollars. Because God forbid we give the poor a leg up and shave a few measly dollars off the top from the super wealthy. You know, the ones rigging the whole game. Mhmmm.... Stay vigilant people and save those pennies.
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But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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