People Break Down Their Craziest 'It's Expensive To Be Poor' Experiences
The poor just keep losing...
I have to admit. I was not fond of being poor. I was ten when I realized my family had some financial issues. My mother sat me down to explain that she needed to go to the food drive to get somethings. It had been a hard year and she wanted me to be prepared in case someone we knew saw us. It was heartbreaking.
My mother has always been a hard worker and she hates asking for help. So that's why it infuriates me when people try to say that being poor is just a mentality and the poor should just try not to be poor. My mother did make it out of several financial holes but it was always an uphill battle, because the truth is... being poor only makes you more poor. The system is designed that way.
Redditor u/26point2PipeDream wanted everyone to start realizing that the game is rigged, often by the system keeping the poor, poor. They asked everyone to explain by inquiring... In what way is it expensive to be poor?
There are so many small details from the everyday, mundane that people with out an endless well of money have to do to survive. And it all may seem like nothing, but the nothings add up. They add up to spending and debt that can be necessary to survive. Look at real estate. Paying outrageous amounts of rent is fruitless. And mortgage is cheaper. But who can afford down payment for a mortgage? Maybe if you could get a free year of rent you could save for it. Hmmm....
Clothing Transport
cats laundry GIFGiphyI saw a lady coming out of a laundromat, loading her baskets of clothes into a taxi (there is zero other public transport where I saw this happen and only a few taxis).
Not being able to put enough money together at one time to buy a car or a washing machine (she probably rented so this maybe wasn't even an option) was costing her a fortune. Just being nickeled and dimed to death.
Don't Accept
If you're ever desperate enough to take out a title/payday loan you'll discover you just stepped in financial quicksand.
About a year and a half ago I forgot to leave enough money in my bank account for a payment that needed to be done. It wasn't much, around $500 maybe, but didn't want the late payment and fees that come with it, so I decided to look into the payday loans. I needed $500 to last until Friday (when I would be paid)... I checked on it on Monday.
When I was to click "Accept", I read the entire thing... it said I had to pay back $950 IF I paid on Friday...or about $2,500 if I went with their payment plan.
I NOPED out of that bull as fast as I could, called my bank and I luckily had overdraft protection or whatever, payment went through and all I had to pay was like $15 or something for the overdraft.
Fees, fees and fees...
There are late fees for everything. Overdraft fees at the bank. Sh!tty jobs usually don't have good healthcare plans. If you're poor, you need credit cards just to survive, but interest rates are higher for those with low credit scores (see late fees above). Crappy cars are always breaking down, and that's expensive.
Death is Easier
Healthcare. That's the big one. If you don't have a healthcare plan, or have a crappy one you don't go to the doctor unless it's life or death. That means small problems that could have been caught in the beginning become hugely expensive problems later on.
Just Walk
Like parking tickets. I couldn't afford the £2 to pay to park my car so I get a £30 fine, after 2 weeks it goes up to £60 and so on. If I didn't have £2 to park in the first place I don't know how they think I can pay more.
Have you ever watched "killed by my debt"? That was about how a parking fine spiralled into severe debt and worse.
When you're poor you have to crafty. You also have to be thrifty and smart ,but crafty is often overlooked. See poor people are constantly in a fight to survive so learning how to maneuver is a key going forward. You just have to maneuver very carefully. Don't fall for the financial traps. They're always ready to get you. Case in point...
Renting is like Credit
Credit Card Money GIF by HustlersGiphyRenting to own anything is really bad. You pay 4X the value of whatever it is you're renting to own. And if you miss a payment they repossess it and someone else might start at the beginning of attempting to pay for it again. Not only that you very well might be paying 4X the new value for a used item.
And only low quality items are sold rent to own. Ashley furniture, crappy used cars, the cheapest big screen TVs available at wholesale. Houses might be better, but rent a center, and JD Byrider are worse than loan sharks.
Skyrocketing rates
Being stuck with higher interest rates because you don't have enough credit to get low rates.
The fact that rent payments aren't added into the credit score equation is bull. Or even just into mortgage lending.
How a lender can ignore me paying upwards of $1500 a month in rent while contemplating a mortgage loan that is equivalent to $850 a month. You'd think that would be a pretty safe bet right there.
The Pre-Pay Options
You can seldom buy in bulk, so you end up paying more for thing. For example, our local butchery sells ground beef cheap if you buy 2 kg or more at a time. If you're paid weekly and can afford only 500 g per week, you end up paying more.
Buying in bulk is a huge money saver.
And it's so damn expensive.
You don't just need the money in advance to buy the groceries. You also need a freezer or cooler large enough to store it. And of course a vehicle to get it home. So many things to pre-pay before you can start saving.
Luxuries
I'll add that when you have less money the power relationship is flipped in nearly every financial interaction you have.
When you have money, banks and companies compete to get access to your reliable spending, be it with low interest rates on borrowing or better deals for early payment. They have to compete because you have the option to go to someone else who will gladly take your payment history and stable income.
You're a safe bet, so you have the luxury of choice.
When you don't have money institutions know you have nowhere else to go. So they happily gouge you knowing agreeing to horrendous loan terms is your only option.
I teach econ and always remind my kids that commercials boasting about "no credit, low credit, no problem!" know exactly who they're getting in the door. People who have nowhere else to go.
Time for Restructure
story justice GIF by PrimerGiphyThe justice system. If you can't pay a fine, the state will make things more expensive by adding fees on top of fees on top of fees, then they will incarcerate you for not paying the inflated fees. Then you have to pay the parole officer who is keeping an eye on you while you care unable to get a job that pays enough to pay him.
Keeping Clean
Not having in-home laundry is a great example.
Say it costs you $4 to do your laundry each week (which I think is very cheap). In 5 years you will have spent over $1000 on laundry.
For $1000 you can get a good washing machine that would last you through those 5 years, then another 5 years, and maybe a lot more. And that doesn't count the time saved doing laundry at home, and any transportation costs.
Transport Worries
My car has a leaky seal on the transmission. It'd be about $250 to replace the seal and flush the transmission. I don't have $250, so I keep topping up the fluid and keep driving it because I'll never get $250 if I don't get to work. But, in time, that's going to destroy the transmission, which will be about $1200 to replace.
Edit:I never thought I'd say this in my entire life, but please stop offering me money. (I know. I'm insane, right?)
I'm getting by and my world will not end if my cars dies. It will be irritating and problematic, but I have other options I can make work, if the worst happens. In the mean time, plans are in place to resolve the issue and I have every reason to think that my car will survive until I can repair it.
I cannot tell you how much these offers mean to me. It has really made my night to have so many people want to help. Please, I ask you to turn your generous offers to others who are in a much more dire situation than I am.
There are several who commented on other threads on this post (as well as at least one who commented on this thread). I would not feel comfortable taking money under these circumstances when I have other options available to me. In short, other people here need it more.
Know that your kindness has made me smile on a day when really needed some brightness. I cannot put into words my gratitude. Thank you all.
For Walking
happy reno 911 GIF by Comedy CentralGiphyIf you're well off, you buy 1 pair of boots for $150 and they last a lifetime.
If you're poor, you buy boots for $30 and they last a winter.
You end up spending more, because you can't afford to spend more. Terry Pratchett uses it to explain poverty via Sam Vines in one of his City Watch books.
Shady Funds
If you can't maintain a minimum balance or don't have a bank in your neighborhood or were raised to be suspicious of banks and don't have a bank account, you've got to pay fees to cash your paychecks. Then there are fees to buy money orders to pay your bills-- or the cost of getting TO the utility office or car dealership or wherever to pay in cash.
Mouth Matters
So is one dental cleaning every 6 months (the reason its 6 months is because that is the time when cavities can form). Root Canals are now thousands of dollars and those dentists demand up front payment for those expensive services. Most people don't have an extra 2 grand in their bank account for a root canal.
Big Plans
scared homer simpson GIFGiphyMental health. Or more specifically stress. You will always have stress about future, always making decisions based on your poverty so that it won't affect your situation in bad way.
What Really Hurts
Everything is expensive when you're poor. Jokes aside, this is true. I've been poor for most of my life and I'm still not in a great financial situation. And the biggest problem is that you not only don't have a lot of money, but all the prices stay the same, so literally ANYTHING that you buy feels like a fortune.
I walked to the grocery store do buy some stuff to make a special dinner on my daughter's birthday and I spent about R$100,00 (about 20 dollars I think, Idk), and I swear I'd win an Oscar for how I kept my poker face. The second I walked out of the store I bursted out crying. Everyone on the street could see me crying as I walked back home. Seeing my daughter's smile later that day during dinner made me feel a lot better, but those R$100 ($20) REALLY hurt.
The Assist
If you're poor you already have no or very little money to invest in yourself, so you have to take on debt to do so. If you want to get technical certifications or degrees. Sometimes there's financial assistance but a lot of the time taking on loans is necessary.
Miles and Miles and Miles...
Tires! Used tires cost 1/3 price and get about 20% of the life of a new tire. Also you are paying mount and balance every time, plus worry about blow outs. Even a new tire at $80 with a 30K mileage expectancy or a $100 tire at 65k mileage warranty. Over twice the life, little more than 20% in extra charge.
A Hole
donald duck disney GIFGiphyDebt. Basically if you're poor you need to borrow some money to either get a house or buy food and after a while the debt keeps getting bigger and bigger.
In this moment the country is in the throws of cultural and financial battles. As I type, we await the Senate rulings on a financial plan for Covid. And the squabbling is endless. One of the main sticking points is raising the minimum wage to $15 and hour. Some Senators act like people are asking for a million dollars. Because God forbid we give the poor a leg up and shave a few measly dollars off the top from the super wealthy. You know, the ones rigging the whole game. Mhmmm.... Stay vigilant people and save those pennies.
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People Reveal Which Non-Horror Movies Absolutely Traumatized Them As A Kid
Reddit user alina_love_ asked: 'What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?'
No matter how long ago we saw it, there are some scenes or images from movies that still send shivers down our spine or keep us awake at night to this very day.
Pennywise appearing in the sewer in It, Janet Leigh surprised in the shower in Psycho, Freddy Kreuger's tongue popping out of the telephone in A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Of course, some of the scariest, most disturbing, or most emotionally traumatizing scenes from films might have been featured in films outside of the horror genre.
Even more shockingly, some of these films were primarily marketed towards children!
Redditor alina_love was curious to hear which non-horror films the Reddit community saw as children still send shivers down their spines today, leading them to ask:
"What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?"
It Was Tim Burton, After All...
"'Pee Wee's big adventure'."
"Large Marge scared the crap out of little me."
"I was even scared of the fortune teller."- BlueStarrSilver·
With A Title Like "Temple Of Doom"...
"'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'."
"The scene where the guy gets his heart ripped out traumatized me for years."- Pbhf
That Funeral Scene Though...
"'My Girl'."
"Fear of death, fear of losing a friend, fear of bees, fear of puberty."- heidismiles
macaulay culkin kiss GIFGiphyJurassic Park's Got Nothing On This...
"'The Land Before Time'."
"Watching Little Foot’s mother die was awful."- HourglassSass
He'll Always Regret Not Bringing Her To The Museum...
"'Bridge to Terabithia'."- jumpstart-the-end
"Everything goes so well and it falls apart SO FAST and your left absolutely traumatized."- VortexDestroyer99
The Reason People Hold On To Their Appliances For As Long As They Do...
"The Brave Little Toaster'."- Catgurl
"The junkyard scene alone was responsible for so many nightmares."- ManChildMusician
brave little toaster animation GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyAnd Let's Not Forget The Coachman's Smile...
"Disney’s version of 'Pinocchio'."
"The scene where kids are turned into donkeys and kept on the island and then resold was f*cking weird."
"You felt bad for that bully kid after he looked sad and nobody understood what he said because he was a donkey."- earnestlikehemingway
Few Things More Sad And Scary Than Deforestation
"'Ferngully: The Last Rainforest'."
"That evil tree scared me so bad."- slutsdotnet
Anything But "Truly Scrumptious"...
"The 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' Childcatcher guy!"
"I'm still scared of him!"- Jet_Maypen
child GIFGiphyOffing Children One By One...In A Children's Movie!
"'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' boat scene."
"Honorable mention of claustrophobia when Augustus gets stuck in the chocolate tube."
"UGH!"- looseseal-bluth
At Least We Know He Had A "Sole"...
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."
"That poor shoe….."- dalalice5555
At Least The Song Is Catchy...
"Neverending Story."
"Not even Artax, which was awful, but the Rockbiter and his good strong hands."- marxychick1
Neverending Story 80S GIFGiphyDorothy Gettying Electro Shock Therapy Says it All...
"Return to Oz."- Jeff_Steelflexx
"Horrifying! What about the animated wig heads?"- weensfordayz
The Reigning King Of Childhood Trauma
"Old Yeller."- IceTech59
"I remember watching this on TV during, I think, Wonderful World of Disney (Sunday nights were Disney night on TV)."
"Cried and cried and cried."
"I've never been able to watch it again and I've never shown it to my kids!"- crowwitch
Not All Friendships Are Tenable... A Terrifying Thought
"'The Fox and the Hound'."
"Still makes me incredibly sad, lol."- mental_reincarnation
best friends friendship GIFGiphySometimes, writers and filmmakers simply overestimate what might go over a child's head.
Or, for that matter, they might underestimate their emotional capacity.
Regardless, ask any of Fairuza Balk's fans which is scarier, Return to Oz or The Craft, and their answer will be immediate...
(... and it won't be The Craft...)
Sometimes it's fun to toy with someone.
Especially if it's an enemy or a loved one who simply deserves a good ribbing.
Some cryptic sentences can send anyone into a tailspin.
And oh the fun that can be had.
You have to be as vague as possible and as sincere.
You have to sell the sincerity. That's vital!
And then just watch them implode.
Redditor theary18 wanted to hear about the most creative ways to throw somebody off their game, so they asked:
"What is the best thing to say to someone to subtly f**k with their head?"
I love to come up behind someone and say "I can't believe they would treat you this way. I got you girl!"
Then I scurry away.
Tee-hee...
It's YOU!
For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy"Just tack on the phrase 'given your history' to any question you ask someone."
"Are you sure you want another drink? Given your history?"
"Do you mind driving? Given your history?"
hamletreset
Mean Kids...
"I moved to my elementary school in the 5th grade. Mid-year, a boy came up to me and said, 'I really thought you were gonna be somebody.' I'm now 45 and I'm still like, what the f**k was he talking about?"
NicklePlatedSkull
"Likely something they heard a parent say to someone. Kids love to repeat the dumb stuff you say the next day at school."
itsallgoodman2002
"All jokes aside he probably thought you were someone else. I've done the same things countless times and it's happened to me a few."
Download_more_ramram
"I would interpret this as this kid hearing there's gonna be a 'new kid' and then their imagination ran wild as to who this new star is going to be, that it will be like in some kid movie or something, but you turned out to be just another kid student."
i_was_planned
I Like You
"I don't get why other people don't like you."
Dependent_Main2643
"Another variant is..."
"I don’t care what everyone else is saying. I think you’re great!"
"They’ll take it as a compliment at first but then they’ll think about it and it’ll eat away at them."
Oh-Cool-Story-Bro
"A guy I work with says this time to me every time I help him 'I don’t care what everyone else says about you you’re alright. Literally everyone else. We did a poll.' XD guy says some crazy s**t. When he started he tried to convince us he was a flat earther. He just likes fucking with people."
ThreeBeatles
Rumors
“'I heard about you.'"
ignorantpigeon
"Whenever I hear this I always respond with 'if it’s all good, it’s all lies.' Usually shows my sense of humor and if it is bad things they heard it usually lightens the mood."
ElApolloLoco
"Years ago I worked at a cafe and function venue which was sold after a few years to a new catering company. The first time I met the new restaurant manager I introduced myself and she exclaimed 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' and I was a bit weirded out. Then not long later I met the new owner and she also said 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' I still wonder twenty years later what they’d both heard about me."
winoforever_slurp_
Problems
Drunk Party Girl GIFGiphy"Go up to someone at a party and say: 'I just want you to know that personally, I have no problem with you being here.'"
LuketheMook
"I once got drunk and effectively said that to a girl at a wedding. 'I don't care what everyone else thinks, I always liked you' or something like that."
Supersnazz
Parties are the perfect setting for these shenanigans.
Especially with the drinkers.
But get them at least semi-sober.
I got You
Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"If you are chatting with someone and another person walks up look at them and say 'I just want you to know that I was defending you' then turn and walk off. It's a good 2fer."
could_use_a_snack
Hush
"'We know, but don't worry, we'll keep it a secret.'"
ch3rrycsmos_
"A friend in high school (actually still a current friend) said something similar to me and it definitely f**ked with my head. 'You know you're not fooling anyone, right?' He wouldn't elaborate and it took me the rest of the day to figure out he was f**king with me. As a guy with imposter syndrome, especially as a teen, that had me turned for a bit."
ablackcloudupahead
You Again
"If it’s someone you interact with repeatedly, always introduce yourself as if you’ve never met before."
Stillwater215
"I keep doing this to a guy I see very occasionally. He's a friend of my sister-in-law, but I've introduced myself to him at least four times. Right now, I'm trying to picture his face and I totally can't, so if I see him again, I'll introduce myself again. He remembers me though. And I don't have this issue with anyone else, I just can't remember this guy's face for some reason."
KrtekJim
Big Mouth
"You really need to brush your teeth."
setthepinnacle
"Somebody jokingly left a message on the 'tip' line that said 'Take a breath mint.'"
"I'm like 90% sure it was just the first thing that came to his head but it f**ked with me for weeks. I was self-conscious when talking to people, being close to them with my mouth open, and I'd constantly be brushing longer/harder taking mouthwash a couple extra times a day, and using mints."
ToFaceA_god
Head Issues
Think About It GIF by IdentityGiphy"Give all your friends a few dollars to compliment their hat if they’re not wearing one. When 50 people insist you’re wearing a hat, you start to think you’re wearing a hat. It will drive them insane."
Stillwater215
Hats off for that last one. That's harmless but devious.
Do you have any tips to add? Let us know in the comments below.
People Who Said 'F**k It' And Did Something Crazy Describe What Happened
Societal pressures shape how people act most of the time, but every now and then someone comes along who doesn't care what other people think.
They do what they want, when they want without guilt or remorse.
According to President Theodore Roosevelt:
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."
Much less rare are the times when otherwise conscientious people decide to throw caution to the wind. Almost everyone had at least one moment in life when they decide to go for it.
Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead, right?
How things turn out after such a decision can make for some interesting stories.
Reddit user Alone-and-affraid asked:
"People who just said 'F*ck it' and did the thing, how did it turn out?"
Noping Out
"I quit my factory job of 2.5 years during the 2020 events to go work at a slaughterhouse. I had nothing to fall back on besides this job."
"I did training there for a week before they decided I was ready to go work on a line."
"I was at the line for an hour, just watching the other guys work and I knew immediately that this wasn’t something I could do; it was far too fast paced, far too much to remember and with the job involving razor sharp knives, I feared for my safety."
"I walked out of the job during my first break and didn’t return. Went to Staples, printed out some resumes and dropped off about 20 of them before walking into a rebar manufacturing place that hired me on the spot without an interview."
"The rebar job was fun as hell, my coworkers were fantastic, and it paid $3 an hour more than the slaughterhouse. 11/10 decision, there."
~ TTungsteNN
No Business Like Show Business
"Was working a job that paid little and was hazardous due to chemicals and bad health and safety. Wanted to stick it out cause it was a skill I wanted to get good at and also being able to buy food is nice."
"But the general work environment was sh*t."
"One day at work I got a text from a random number asking if I wanted a job on a film, where I'd be basically painting costume items. They didn't give me any information about it at all."
"But I said f*ck it, and quit my job with my sights set on the big screen."
"Now I work in the film industry pretty much full time where my job involves painting and making weird sh*t all day with cool people. More stress and way longer hours, but way more enjoyable and fulfilling."
"And now I have money to buy my self cool sh*t whenever I want it."
~ edakit
Take This Job And...
"After a major falling out with my bosses I stormed out of my job with zero notice. Left the company car keys at reception and went."
"Zero plans, zero transport home."
"On my long walk home I hatched a plan to become a freelance developer and I have now been doing it for 20 years."
~ SickPuppy01
Up, Up and Away
"Changed careers from IT to Aviation (Pilot).
"Took the $130,000 loan out, and said 'Fuck It'. I am about to get my PPL, from there its IFR certification, then Commerical, and then my CFI so I can get my hours and get paid (little but its still making money and obtaining hours)."
~ Spartan0536
"My friend's husband switched from dental hygienist to pilot and he was in his late 30s. He started with zero hours and worked his way up through the various stages.
"He's a first officer at one of the major US airlines now and loves it."
"His wife's salary kept the family afloat during his slave wage years."
~ rabidstoat
Taking a Leap of Faith
"My work is very niche, so niche we were less than 20 to do it at a professional/commercial level in a city like Chicago."
"After the facility I ran a crew at closed, I spent a bit over a year looking for a similar job anywhere in the US and Canada without success."
"I did get a decent amount of interviews just to get ghosted every single time, no one would hire me due to my disability (Crohn's and Ostomy bag, which prevents me from doing a small part of the job and can be worked around without issues)."
"After all that time all I could find was a 2-days a week part time job, working under the first person I mentored."
"Did that for a few months and struggled financially until I saw a job posting for something in Singapore."
"I said why the hell not, sent my application through email and got an interview set up for the next day and within 90min of that interview they were ready to send me a contract."
"7 weeks later I was on the plane with 3 suitcases, moving across the world to a place (and continent) I've never been to."
"I'm 2 months into the job and already feel like I have a purpose again, the job is pretty damn chill, the pay is real good. The company is also really happy with my work so far and their decision of bringing me in."
"That's just the job part, the city/country is amazing (besides for the constant heat but that's just a small detail)."
"Zero f*cking regrets."
~ azgrows
Work From Home
"For years prior to the pandemic I'd heard about Work From Home scams. It had always been a dream of mine as someone that had suffered insane commutes to work from home."
"During the pandemic I figured f*ck it I'll see what's out there. Found an old employer of mine was hiring for WFH."
"I applied, got the job and have been with them now for a little over 2 years. A year or so of that time as the night shift lead."
"It's amazing. I have no commute. My workload is relatively light. I spend most of my work hours waiting for work so I listen to music, read books, watch TV etc..."
"Unless I finally go back to school and get my degree this is the closest I'll get to retired."
"With my current schedule I only work 3 nights a week."
~ jackfaire
Alls Not Well That Ended Unwell
"I had worked at a company for almost 10 years. I never got promoted and had hit the salary cap for my position so I could not get a raise."
"I tried for promotions, but they made you take a personality test for higher level positions, and I 'wasn't the right fit'. They then had some budget cuts and couldn't justify my salary so I was let go."
"A friend of mine had been planning for years to open a business, but didn't have the capital or time to get it off the ground. He was very convincing and confident, so I invested everything into it."
"I thought that since we were both 'smart' and knowledgeable about the product we could make it work without experience, but I was wrong."
"My friend was the product guy and I was 'the face' as the business had a huge social aspect."
"Within 3 months I realized that my friend's product knowledge was just based on what he liked, and not any real research. It fell apart pretty quick.
"I tried to salvage it but the initial product mistakes were too much. I tried to take control and right the ship but I got blamed for all the failure."
"I should've tried to collaborate but I was angry, and then I went to the only person that was on my side, my business partner's ex. It was wrong but I was losing everything and needed something."
"So I lost my condo, my life savings, and all of my friends. The business partner's ex then left me after the business collapsed because I was broke."
"It got worse from there. Let's just say that saying f*ck it can ruin everything."
~ CarboniteCopy
Moving On Up
"In my young age I walked out of my job as a programming analyst at a large multi billion $ company because I felt undervalued everyday of my job by my direct supervisor/manager."
"But I landed in another large multi billion dollar company as senior developer after 3 rounds of interviews—with 40% raise within 2 weeks."
"I was called back by previous employer after around 3 months giving me a 100% raise because they realized that I was providing them everyday solutions in their technical operations that ended up not solvable by even external consultants who were paid 300-400$ per hour."
"I rejected the offer but showed the offer to current employer who happily matched the salary after seeing my work for 3 months and promoted me to lead developer. Stayed there for 8 years before switching—this was in early 2000."
~ notyourregularninja
Change Of Scenery
"Seventeen years ago the wife and I lived in Japan, and had been there for almost 9 years. Our daughter started getting death threats in school when she moved to middle school; different kids than elementary, where the parents were really nice to us."
"Anyway, when we talked to her teacher about it, she pretty much said 'It's her fault for being loud and wearing earrings' (my daughter is half Hungarian, and babies get earrings here; it's a cultural thing)."
"We told her this and she said it attracts too much attention."
"Also, she told us to dye her hair black (it's brown) so she'd fit in better. We noped out, and moved to Hungary (at a time when Hungary was not even slightly in good financial shape, and about to be IMF-loaned).
"My parents thought we were crazy; my dad even told me I'd made a mistake."
"Things turned out very well. Daughter got stable again after some terrible thoughts because of what kids did to her in Japan."
"I found a decent job and after a LOT of weirdness ended up at a good workplace; wife runs our little company now, which is okay-ish (though current inflation, man...)."
"We actually own our own home, which felt impossible in Japan."
~ inostranetsember
Switching Things Up
"I changed careers on nothing more than a suggestion from a friend."
"It worked out amazingly."
~ CoffeeAndBrass
Heaven on Earth
"Two years ago, I walked out my job, broke my lease, shoved as much of my belongings into a badly malfunctioning car and drove across the Rocky Mountains to find the sea."
"I didn’t have a plan, I didn’t know if the car would survive (it broke down within weeks after the trip was done and I sold it for scrap)."
"I honestly didn’t care if I had a place to live... I needed to see the ocean, to smell it, to dip my toes in the brine and feel small again."
"And if I had nowhere to go and no way to survive once I got there, I had every intention of weighing down my pockets with stones and just walking into the water to end it all."
"I was not in a good place, mentally or emotionally. You don’t walk out on your life like that if you have anything to live for."
"But I connected with estranged family here, and they gave me shelter until I found work and a new home."
"I’m happy now, really truly steadily happy, fulfilled, proud of myself and what I’m doing, more so than I’ve ever felt in my entire life."
"The air is cleaner here, I wake up every morning and, rain or shine, I take a bike ride through rolling hills of emerald farm fields and deep whispering pine trees."
"I’m greeted in the mornings by wild robins, and I fall asleep at night to the music of rain dancing through the boughs of the trees and a chorus of singing frogs."
"I find myself standing outside, staring at the vast river of stars in the unpolluted and sacred darkness of the night sky, and I watch the beautiful pink and orange waves of the rising sun cresting over the mountains."
"I have found a Heaven on Earth, and I am thankful, every minute of every day, for this wild place I call home and the wonderful people who picked me up when I had fallen down."
"I don’t recommend anyone else do something as stupid and impulsive, or self-destructive as I did, but it wound up being the best decision I have ever made."
~ JodyJamesBrenton
Have you ever just said to heck with what anyone else thinks?
How did things turn out?
Share your story in the comments.
The Weirdest Thing People's Partners Did That Totally Turned Them On
Part of the fun of dating and being in a relationship are the unexpected, impulsive moments.
What's funny is how these could be equally arousing moments, too, even if they're moments that we never expected to make us feel that way.
Redditor thann3 asked:
"What is the weirdest thing your partner did that turned you on?"
Backing Up
"When he backs into a parking spot, he puts his right hand on the back of my seat when he looks behind him."
"Hnnnngggggghhh. Gets me going and I don't know why."
- evilpinkmoney
"Every time someone mentions this, I am reminded of the time I did it and accidentally backhanded this girl in the face."
- kingoflint282
That Reading Voice
"In high school, this girl had a soothing voice. Every time she read out loud, I had goosebumps and she gave me butterflies."
- donbruh
Overwhelmingly Happy
"I can’t think of anything weird my husband did, but the first night of our honeymoon, we were talking about the wedding and our future, and I started crying because I was so happy (and told him that’s why I was crying)."
"He was smiling and gave me a kiss and then whispered, 'I don’t know why, but you crying just now turned me on.'"
"Lol (laughing out loud), it didn’t turn me on, but it did make me laugh, and I thought it was weird-cute."
- snarkylarkie
Safety First
"On the first date, he put my seatbelt on. It surprised me because I heard of men opening doors for their dates but not putting their seatbelt on. It just showed a very caring yet masculine side of him."
"The tension of knowing we wanted of each other but agreed to take it slow just made me go feral in my head."
"A year and a half later, he still does it to this day. He even gets 'mad' when I don't let him. I still blush when he does it, especially when other people are in the car with us."
- eeeeriemarie
Certain Accessories
"It wasn't my girlfriend, but over a Skype call maybe a decade ago when I was a teenager, I was on a call with a female friend I had the hots for."
"I casually mentioned that I had a thing for girls in glasses."
"She gasped, told me to wait there, and scurried downstairs. About 20 seconds later, she rushed back up, jumped onto her bed with her jaw resting on her fists, and low and behold, she was wearing glasses."
"We laughed, I didn't know what to say, but that was the cutest and sexiest way of letting me know she liked me."
- GemoDorgon
Good Chemistry
"I know it sounds weird, but her breath is intoxicating. It’s naturally somewhat sweet, and of course, she thinks I’m crazy."
"Edit: We know it’s not diabetes, ketosis, or any other medical issue. We’ve been together for over 30 years and it’s just good chemistry."
- yoooozername
That Deep Stare
"An ex-girlfriend of mine looked at me in a certain way every now and again that just did something to me, like a bit of a stare deep into my soul knowing she wants all of me. Every day I hope someone will recreate and enhance it."
- SamCham10
The Perfect Sweater
"When she wears THAT sweater, I'm powerless."
- wastedmytwenties
"Can someone link a pic of this type of sweater? Asking for a friend."
- schnaizer91
The Sleeve Roll Trick
"My boyfriend rolled up his sleeves kind of slowly the other day, and I felt like I couldn’t hear anything for like a solid minute, lollllll (laughing out loud)."
- farrah_barra
The Corniest Jokes
"This man will make the corniest joke in the whole world, and then his whole face lights up as he giggles at it. Gets me every time."
- Hobbbitttuallly
The Perfect Wine Pour
"We had our honeymoon in Italy and he noticed the waitstaff poured wine really beautifully, so he replicated it. Now I have him pour all my drinks for me."
"For some reason, the way his wrist moves when he pours really gets me going."
- chicken-and-awfuls
Specific Arm Movements
"Two things."
"When he's working on something mechanical and he starts getting serious, he'll flip his cap backward. It's an absent-minded thing and F**K is it sexy. And when he's working overhead, the way his arms flex. Watching him lift things into our attic is an instant turn-on. It's f**king weird, but godD**N does it do it for me."
"Also when I wear something sexy or low cut and he's not expecting it, he'll stutter if he's mid-sentence. We'll be talking from another room for instance, and I'll toss on a revealing shirt and walk in there and he'll lose his train of thought. Or shake his head like he needs to clear it. Your man making you feel sexy is the ultimate sexy move."
- shimmydownnow
Love Language: Physical Touch
"It's the gentle physical touch in public. That little 'Love you' touch as they scurry away to do a thing. Those random touches turn me on so quickly."
- 1beeratatime
Totally Saved It
"He fixed the shower in my truly horrible, low-rent grad school apartment and changed the oil on my car. Not sure why, but that just did things to me."
"If you were to ask my husband, self-deprecating humor would probably be his answer."
"On our first date, he and I went to see this stage production of 'Jekyll and Hyde.' At the bar, they were selling these cute little shots of Bailey's/Kahlua, with each liquor on separate sides of the glass. Me, being incredibly graceful in all things always, completely dumped the Bailey's half onto my blouse."
"His eyes got all big, not sure how to react, and I just sighed, turned to him, and reintroduced myself like, 'Hi, I'm (my name). This kind of thing happens a lot.'"
"He busted up laughing, I ordered a scotch, and we've been together for the past 11 years."
- anyesuki
Simply Existing
"Exist. My girlfriend could literally just stand there and I could and would get a chill down my spine."
- andytheloser12
While we were expecting these responses to be, well, weird, most of these were actually pretty cute or heartwarming.
Sometimes when it comes to relationships and intimacy, something can feel weird simply because it's unexpected, but maybe the unexpected moments are among the best parts of the relationship!