When your time is up, your time is up.
It feels like everyone wants one of two things.
People want to go out in a blaze of glory and/or in peace and without pain.
What I know for sure is I definitely don't want to be smoted by a stupid death.
Like, Lord, please don't let me die choking on fried chicken and an XL frozen Appletini at the Dallas BBQ because I was laughing to hard at my own jokes.
Please.
Redditor BlueD_ wanted everyone to fess up about the times they almost met their maker in a less than dignified manner by asking:
"What's the dumbest way you almost died?"
Torn...
"Hooked shirt on roller coaster flying by while I was operating it. Shirt tore but it threw me a meter onto track just behind it. I crawled off in time before it came back around."
GottaGoSmash
The Lump
"Born with a lump in my throat that was blocking my airway. It was so bad that I was turning purple from air loss by 3 months old, but the doctors kept telling my mom they couldn't find anything wrong. Finally was rushed to children's hospital where they did emergency laser surgery to remove the lump. Almost died to complete incompetence, thankfully the people at children's were much more capable."
Leroy_Spankinz
So Wrong...
"I was playing at some church camp as a teenager. They had us running around in the dark. Well, they had a guy wire from a telephone pole in basically the middle of the forest and I ran into it at neck height."
"You know in cartoons when someone runs into something and their feet fly up even with their body and they fall down? I'm pretty sure that happened to me."
"I had a very nasty cut that was pretty deep on my throat and I'm pretty sure if it was just a bit deeper I would have got the important arteries lol. I could be wrong though."
Nimbleturtles
See now sometimes this is why death is the thing of nightmares.More often than not its not about death itself; it's about the journey on the way out.
Life is already stressful enough, always looking both ways, and not stepping on cracks. How can I be alert for literally anything and everything all at once?
the baby....
"I was born super premature and would apparently never stop crying and every doctor was just like 'she's a baby, she's crying just because' until my parents took me to the children's hospital and then a doctor was like 'yeah, she's dying. Surgery now.' I was born with a double hernia."
Just Walk
"Almost fell to my death from the second floor of an abandoned theater because I was running down a flight of stairs that are just cut off midway. Someone with the fastest reflex skills just grabbed me by my shirt and pulled my backwards. Don't run in abandoned buildings."
coldnymph
Evil Mango
"When I was 19, I ate a mango and it was a large piece and it got stuck in my throat. I started to choke. I found it hard to breathe and couldn't talk. My brother did the heimlich manuever on me and the mango came out. I laughed about it a minute later because imagine "defeated by mango" written as your reason for death."
When I was three, I nearly choked to death on a piece of pineapple.
I was throwing chunks into the air and catching them with my mouth like a seagull.
Can you imagine that obituary?
No one would've imagined me in advanced classes years later.
I feel others here can relate.
The Day is Out
"Using a pickaxe while tired. Was using the flat end to break up dirt. It got stuck. I yanked it, causing my feet to slip on the dirt while I basically pulled myself straight down on the spike end. My arms shot out and I landed in a push up position with the tip less than an inch from my chest. I called it a day after that."
ProbablyYourButt
Do Vodka
"I was very sad and drank lots and lots of rum. I woke up covered in vomit all over my bed, I had probably vomited multiple times in my sleep. I was alone. I could have choked on my spew and died. I avoid rum now."
writingwithmovement
NEVER!
"I felt incredible pain in my abdomen and laid in bed a week hoping it would go away. By the time I asked to go to the hospital I was in Sepsis. I was out of my head in pain, couldn't eat, high fever, etc. Apparently I had a bout with diverticulitis. I had no idea what that was."
"Mine perforated and my white blood cell count was insane. The perforation was pouring toxins into my body cavity. They didn't do surgery, they only ran a tube down in my back to drain the 'death sludge' from my body. My kidneys and my bladder were trying to shut down. I'll never forget that pain for as long as I live."
"I was on mega antibiotics and it saved my life. Even after leaving the hospital I was on antibiotics for another 2 weeks. Had this happened to me several years ago they would have had me in surgery and I would have had some of my colon removed and I would have had a colostomy bag. :-( "
"But, these days they hit you with tons of antibiotics and they've been having success. I learned to never lay in bed for a week with pain like that. Never again."
moviesandcats
In the Shallow...
"Played in the shallow waters of a lake before knowing how to swim, father told me not to go further in and being the stupid rebellious child i was i immediately went in further and sank just as quick. luckily my father was watching and a former lifeguard, so he jumped in in full clothing and pulled me out. the next day my parents bought me floaties."
ArnoNyhm44
GiphyOff the Cliff
"Tried to set a tyre on fire and roll it down a cliff at a beach barbecue while drunk underage, fell on my a** and rolled off the cliff. Slowed myself down enough to prevent me getting any air and scraped myself bloody all the way down. Ripped my jeans from calf to belt and ended up really bloody but luckily only ended up freefalling 10ft and landed on a relatively flat rock which saved me. Terrified of cliffs now."
PorkSwordFight
On the Trail
"GF and I were Hiking at 6am on a mountain trail. We stopped to admire the sunrise over the mountains when things got a little intimate. A jogger runs by which spooks both of us. With my shorts around my ankles I slip and fall to the ground and come within inches of falling off of a 500+ ft drop."
collegedropout50
Above the Water
"Drunk swimming in the ocean. I was a competitive swimmer in HS, so I was pretty confident in my abilities around any body of water. My dumb a** decide one day, while drinking with friends at the beach, that 3 beers and a couple of shots in, was the perfect time to go for a swim in the ocean. Friend joined me while the rest stayed sunbathing and whatnot."
"Neither of us was thaaaat drunk, but after a few mins we were really far from shore and the current kept dragging us away from shore. Luckily the lifeguards spotted us and helped us back to the shore, because, while we weren’t drowning, we were getting really tired and further and further away. Boy did I learned the sea is to be respected at all times."
Jxnoga
So So Cold
"Hypothermia kayaking through the drains under Manchester, wearing jeans and jumper, using an inflatable kayak which burst, in November, after drinking a bottle of whisky. That's right up there near the top of the list I guess."
Bigjobs69
titanic leonardo dicaprio GIFGiphyOut Cold
"Not me, but one summer I was a counselor at a summer camp. The older campers would have to clean the canoes they used at the end of the week, and a 13-year-old boy decided in a flash that it would be funny to put the power washer in his mouth and pull the trigger. Can’t really blame him, he was just a kid. But he got knocked out cold and his mouth was f**ked up."
ProfessorBeer
Machine Works
"Was a Quality Engineer in a motor assembly plant responsible for test cell work (where engines are run for checkout). At that time, guys still wore ties. I was facing a gigantic engine with whirling pulleys in the front, just happened to look down and saw my tie moving toward being sucked into a pulley and belt and jumped back. Had I been an half second later, my head would be lying on the floor and my body would be in the process of being chopped into pieces. Be careful around moving machinery folks."
Amorougen
Lucky
"During a trip to the shotgun range, a clay pigeon fly’s low and away from the guy who is currently shooting. The range safety officer says something to him, and he turns to face him. For whatever reason his shotgun goes the other way and is now pointed at my head, with his finger on the trigger. So f**king lucky it didn’t fire."
Inevitable-Break-411
50 Years Later
"When I was a young hippie (I’m male) I was working with a large commercial drill at my job and I got my long hair wound up in it and it sucked me in until it tore a large chunk of hair out along with some scalp. Hair is still thin in that area 50 years later."
Hamfiter
Swallow
"By rolling up an entire Airhead, putting it in my mouth then promptly swallowing it and getting it lodged in my throat for too many minutes."
gatordunn
Choking Cbs GIF by HULUGiphyLOL
"I don't know if I could have died, but I was really young and an adult sat on my back. It was a lot of weight. I was blacking out if I remember, but fortunately they got off in time. When I later asked them why they did it, they just laughed and said I was being annoying back then."
succulent_gardener
Of course the best deaths are TV deaths. Some can be viewed as absurdist comedy but then fiction is often based on some reality.
Do yourselves a favor and watch "Chuckles Bites the Dust" from The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
We've all been Mary at a funeral. Just pray you never become a Chuckles.
And for extra credit watch Hilary's fiancé Trevor die on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Ouch.
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Do you ever wonder what it must've been like to experience major events throughout world history when reading about them in text books?
But if you take pause and actually think about it, we're living through many newsworthy current events that succeeding generations will be talking about long after we're gone.
Reading about them online or in newspapers is one thing. But seeing them happen unfold before our eyes is another.
Curious to hear from those who'll have anecdotes to tell in the future, Redditor "What is the most historically significant event you witnessed IN PERSON?"
People recall the natural disaster events they've witnessed.
Tremors
"1964 Good Friday Earthquake 9.2 Richter. Was a boy in Cordova, Alaska at the time."
– KitchenLab2536
"My father was skipper of the USCG cutter stationed there. He was inport, and when the quake struck shortly before 5:30pm, he and my mom gathered me and my three siblings on the front porch. At first, it felt like the house was crumbling at the foundation, but on the porch we could plainly see our whole world was shaking. I remember watching telephone poles swaying, and the wires snapping and crackling in the street. The quake lasted about five minutes initially. My dad got his ship underway to avoid the tidal wave which was sure to come. We had several aftershocks in the coming weeks, some of which were quite strong, though nowhere near as strong or as long as the quake itself. I was seven at the time."
– KitchenLab2536
Collapsing Freeway
"October 17th, 1989. I watched the 880 Nimitz freeway collapse during the San Francisco earthquake. The Honda in front of me had the upper deck crush her front-end engine compartment. The mother and her daughter were shaken up but completely fine."
"I was driving a convertible Triumph Spitfire, which was scratched up slightly from debris. However, I walked away unscathed. Aside from the fact I pissed my pants, which I didn't notice until much later."
– CatDaddyWhisper
Thar She Blows
"I sat on the roof of our house and watched Mt. St. Helens erupt less than 100 miles away."
– stinkykitty71
"This must have been fascinating and terryfing in equal measure. What a thing to witness."
– runrossyrun
"It was amazing! The ash that covered everything like snow was interesting to kid me, but less so to my parents."
– stinkykitty71
People recall seeing major catastrophes as a result of malfunctions or judgement errors.
Bomber Crash
"The b-52 crash that led to changing what large military aircraft are allowed to do for airshows."
"I didn't see the plane, but immediately saw the fireball. It was just a perfect, bright red turning to black mushroom cloud."
"Fairchild is a nuclear air base and there were a few minutes there where I was sure the world was about to end."
"A few years before a KC-135 doing the same thing crashed near the school while we were in class."
– goffstock
Tragic Takeoff
"I was standing on my front porch watching the launch of the Challenger."
– StarChaser_Tyger
"Was riding in my parents car to a basketball game in the next town over in north texas when we saw a shooting star and thought that was neat."
"It was the Columbia..."
– Misdirected_Colors
Demolition Gone Wrong
"The failed implosion of the Zip feed mill in Sioux Falls, SD in 2005."
"They hyped it up, sold tickets to it, had a big 'BOOM' marketing thing, and broadcast it live on TV."
"The explosives took out the main supports on the first floor, and the rest of the building above it just plopped down 10ft or so and came to a rest. It was a massive failure, and was a funny little blurb on news stations around the world that day. Definitely not major news, just the rest of the world taking 20 seconds to laugh at us."
"The building sat like that (the leaning tower of SuFu) for quite a while until they figured out how to safely demolish it."
"Here's a clip of the failed demolition."
– KitchenBandicoots
These well-known historical events were seen by very few who are alive today.
Historical Remnant
"The tumbling of the Wall in Germany… along with people selling bits and pieces of it on tables in lobby in front of commissary and px in the following weeks and months. I had picked up a chunk about the size of an oreo and kept it… has blue spray paint on the flat side. Wonder if anyone is buying them now?"
– SingedPenguin13
Major Upheaval
"I would have to say the LA riots. I lived about two blocks from where it started. I was on my way home from school and saw someone throw a brick through a window. I didn’t even wait. I just started running the whole way home."
– Scarlaymama0721
Day Of Infamy
"9/11, I could SMELL the collapse of the towers."
– go4tli
"A friend of mine was there. One day in the warehouse we worked in together there was an odd electrical burning smell. He stopped in his tracks and went 'this is what 9/11 smelled like.'"
– mantistoboggan287
I didn't physically witness the fall of the World Trade Center but I was living in New York City at the time.
However, I did see the smoke.
I was living up north in Washington Heights at the time and knowing what happened, uncertain of what was to come, and seeing the plumes of smoke from the attack site was the most ominous sight I've ever seen in my life to date.
Have you ever lived through a historic moment or witnessed something sure to be noted in history books? Let us know in the comments below.
