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People Break Down What Happened After Their Dire Warning Was Ignored

I tried to tell you....

Why don't people listen? Some of us are sages walking the Earth just trying to espouse the truth... soak it in. Granted we often throw out our wisdom when it is unwarranted, but it doesn't mean it's false. That is why so many people hold to the mantra of... "told you so." Maybe we should look at the statistics of when people don't follow warnings and advice.

Redditor u/FizzledTwizzle wanted to know about the times you've given advice and then all that followed after by asking...
What did you try to warn someone about except they didn't listen and it turned out very badly?

Limbs

My 6 year old brother at the time was standing on the kitchen table with his socks on and it looked like he was about to jump off. I kid you not, before he jumped I literally said "don't jump off the table with socks on or you'll slip and break your arm." 5 seconds later he jumped off the table, his feet slipped out from under him, and he landed directly on his arm... breaking it.

Door-Dasher

Oh Nooooooo......

I walked in to work one day and my boss said, "Hey! I just hired somebody who used to work where you used to, her name is Xxxxxxx Yyyyyy, you know her?"

And I was just like, " Oh nooooooooo."

Yep, two nights later the owner of the bar across the street calls as we're closing up and says, "So just FYI, one of your servers is over here, in uniform, telling everybody where she works...I say 'in uniform,' but right now she's dancing on the bar and taking it off."

CapnSquinch

You've been "Shipped"

I tried to convince my roommate he was getting scammed on craigslist. We talked, we argued, I even pulled up google and showed him pages worth of people saying they should've never sent the money order. But somehow it was different cuz the bank took the check earlier that day. Well, a few days later the bank called and said the check didn't clear, which was around the same time the buyer and the "shipping company" he was using disappeared too.

callmekg

Not Her

crazy girl fun GIFGiphy

I told my boss not to hire the girl who showed up to her interview late and in a belly shirt, now we have a worker who perpetually calls out and whose dad has shown up to try to change her work schedule.

SavageInkStudios

Seatbelts!

I told my college housemate that she needed to slow down her drinking because she was making horrible decisions and putting herself in dangerous situations. She threw a tantrum, screamed at me that I was a know-it-all and "not her mother" and she moved out and in with another friend. The next week she was driving drunk and wrapped her car around a tree on campus, wasn't wearing a seat belt. She broke a lot of bones in her face and looked like a monster for months. Luckily everything healed and she ended up getting the help she needed.

streamstroller

Say "I Don't"

I tried to tell my brother that he should not get married to someone he met only a few months ago, barely knew, never lived with, and that I personally found very shady.

He got mad at me and got married anyway.

The marriage lasted one month. Two years later my brother is in a very eventful divorce, buried in debt, lost many friends, quit his job, is back at our parents house and has depression.

This is the short version, the full one could be a whole soap opera 25th season.

lulastark

Dummy

Dude was buying an apartment off-plan (meaning you pay a % before the build even starts) and he send me the plans online. I'm into architectural design so I quickly spotted it was off; all the furniture on his floorplan was shrunk dramatically to make the space appear much bigger than it actually was underlined with:
*for illustrative purposes only.

I drew up a rough quick 3d model to scale with the furniture as it was on the plan and put some real size humans in the space and sent it to him as a warning. He got angry with me and suggested that I "insulted his intelligence".

It wasn't just a little bit off, it was dramatic. The full size bath would have to be a sit up bath or a shower. The furniture was shrunk by almost 50%.

He's now the proud of owner of a micro apartment.

WesternEuropeanDude

Wipe It

Throw Away Clean Up GIF by Preparation HGiphy

My cousin.

Told my aunt that my cousin seemed in pain when he was passing stool and urine. Everyone said that all children and babies do that. I didn't buy it so i continued pestering.

Turns out he had serious rash in his bottom due to lack of cleaning and had urine infection. the rash was so bad that the skin in that area became thinner than paper.

Amin_Abdul_Awal

Hey Bernie....

My mom asking me about putting money in this company which was obviously a Ponzi scheme. I told her to not listen to her moronic cousin and not to put money in it because it is not real. She lost a few thousand dollars and asked me to get it back for her. I was so mad and begrudgingly did it cause mom has been a minimum wage worker since forever and that was all she had. I wasn't able to get all of it back. She lost half of what she put in after the feds were through with it.

riddix

In the hole

money pit esta casa es una ruina GIFGiphy

A gal I know insisted the new mansion she was "buying" would be repaired and maintained by the previous owner.

I asked her why they would do that if she wasn't paying them.

It was a land lease. That's like renting from an individual who holds on to the legal ownership. She didn't understand she had no rights and was basically living in a hotel until she was $500,000 in the hole. They kicked her out the second month of the pandemic.

8_years_later

A Strong Back

Guy in high school wanted to prank his best friend by taking his chair out from underneath him when he was standing. I told him repeatedly not to, lest he went mad and told the teacher. That didn't happen, of course, instead, something worse did.

The guy's backbone was severely injured as he'd landed straight on it, and had to be sent to hospital. Now his back is bent, he cannot sit without acute pain... all because of someone who wouldn't listen to me.

Advanced_Hat_3548

Seat belts On

season 5 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

Told my friend to wear his seatbelt. We were both in the back seat. Minutes later we hit a light pole. He flew from the back seat and made a 12in hole in the wind shield. He ended up with 32 stitches on the top of his head.

ConjeturaUna

I won't even put my car in gear until everyone has their seat belts on. Not trying to be found at fault for someone's death because they wanted to be marginally more comfortable.

Bloodsoup830

Not Her

One of my soldiers was dating a chick who had already been engaged to a guy in our company. We knew her backstory and warned him that she was bad news and to stay away.

Three weeks later he came back from Christmas leave married to her.

She cheated on him for a long time, got pregnant from some other guy, the embryo was outside the uterus so she stays married to him for the tricare but lived with the other guy, she had a miscarriage, and finally she convinced him to go AWOL for four days instead of training.

He got moved out of my platoon and kicked out of the army. No idea how he is.

adp1314

The Parents

Contacting my parents.

I told this person I went no contact with them and I showed them the legal documents saying that my parents are legally not allowed to contact me but they were still like "but they're your paaaaarrrreeeennnnnnts" and got into contact with them.

After about 4 weeks that person called to tell me that my parents won't stop harassing and threatening them for information about me and I need to help them.

I told them tough luck and the only way to get them to stop is get the cops involved and since its just threats, you have to wait until they come to your house and start damaging you or your property for the cops to actually do anything.

I stopped talking to that person for obvious reasons but from what I hear my parents are still threatening and harassing them a year and a half later.

Littleb0029

Keep your wealth a secret.....

I tell people this all the freaking time and they never listen: never tell anybody how much money you have. Doesn't matter if you don't have any money cause no reason to let people know you are broke. But ESPECIALLY if you have money, don't let anybody know. It will only cause you problems.

I tell this to my employees all the time. One of my employees had a huge college fund that her grandparents and parents had been saving for for years. I tell her to keep it a secret and never let anybody know about it.

Of course she tells her girlfriend about it. They move across the country together so my employee can go to college. The girlfriend refuses to get a job or pay for anything because she knows about the money. She proceeded to steal as much money as fast as she could and bails.

This is just one example. Keep your wealth a secret. Money brings out the absolute worst in people.

catfarts99

Listen Up....

Nobody listens to me. Ok, I should say sometimes they do, but I swear most of the time they don't. And then it comes back to bite then in the butt.

Told some guy at the horse track that a horse was going to get away from him while he was leading it around. He had him on a super long lead, treating him like a puppy. Sure, you can do that with some there, but this horse wasn't one of them. The horse spooked, kicked him in the gut, took off and ran into a cement barrier, flipping over the top of it. He was banged up some, but he was alright, thankfully. I tried not to laugh at the guy.

Told a different person to not go back on the motocross track when their front tire would randomly lock up (I mean, duh). He did anyway. During the race, it locked up in the air over a decent sized tabletop and he ended up with a broken collarbone, bruised lung, and concussion.

Told my ex that we should strap down the hay. He didn't feel like it, said it would be fine. We get onto the freeway, and sure enough, there goes the hay. Cars are hitting it, running it over, plus losing the cost of it alone was a big enough sting.

And on and on and on....

Holybull79

You're an Adult?

excited adult swim GIF by Rick and MortyGiphy

"Hey little bro, please read a room and stop doing your Rick and Morty impression where they make out, complete with tongue slurping and moaning. It's not as funny as you think it is and it makes people uncomfortable. Don't do it at work, for sure."

Two jobs later, he still hasn't learned. Yes, he's an adult.

Black_Bud

Up in Flames

flame thrower fire GIFGiphy

I worked for an electrician, doing basic residential type work, and my buddy asked me to look at some electrical problems at his work, since it was on my way home. It was a bar/restaurant that had recently opened after being closed for years. He said one of the waitresses burned herself on one of the outlets in the bar.

The place was huge. It had three electrical panels, and all of them were overstuffed with 'extra' wires, fuses, extension cords, to where you couldn't close the panel doors. I said, "This is a fire hazard, you need to tell the owners to call a licensed electrical contractor immediately". He said the new owners couldn't afford it, but he would tell them. The NEXT NIGHT on my way back from work, the place was engulfed in flames, total loss.

spiderland5150

He's so far....

That the people my brother suddenly started dating who demanded he cut every other person he's ever known out of his life were actually a cult and he should run far away. i mean he did move halfway across the world but also he's in a cult.

simetra_simetra

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.