Have you looked outside your house today?
Nothing might be happening or everything might be happening. Depends on where you live, obviously. Location can matter a lot to your overall state of mind, like whether you wake up every morning ready to go to brunch with the gals down the street or if you're grabbing your signs, ready to protest. For good and bad, everyone has that breaking point, and the world has broken a lot of people lately.
Reddit user, u/frognik, wanted to know:
When did you stop giving a f-ck and why?
You Can Only Be A Doormat For So Long
Giphy
When I realized that no matter how nice and patient and understanding I am, people will still leave and I will still be perpetually treated like sh-t. The amount of times I've literally just let people punch me in the face and I have done... nothing... to "be the bigger person" only to see that it did nothing but make that person feel as if they have no consequences to their actions is what really made me realize that being the bigger person is a load of horse sh-t.
Such A Jaded Young Man
5th grade. I got into my first fight. It was a kid that showed up that year and took to hanging out with the few friends that have me the time of day and turned them into my worst bullies. He antagonized me for months and one day at recess we were all playing a game and they all agreed to completely ignore me the rest of the day. Not even moving to avoid my path just bumping into me if I was in the way.
I got fed up. And well, I think you can guess what happened from their.
Work Bleeds Into Real Life
When my management job started becoming too stressful to deal with, when it started spewing into my non-working time. Yet my anxiety still makes me give a f-ck, even though I know I personally, don't give a f-ck anymore.
Too Much Pressure All The Time
realizing I didn't wanna live like my mom. my mom always wanted the picture perfect family. I don't wanna live life like her. Always worrying about her "image" and what other think of her, always having to please ppl. Always pleasing.
Yeesh. So Much Effort For So Little Return.
After my 7th grade social studies midterm exam, I made hundreds of flash cards and even made a matching game out of them. I still ended up getting like a 72% on it.
Yeah! Go, You!
When I gained 60 pounds after high school. I used to be super self conscious as a teen in high school. I was extremely body conscious to the point where I quit the swim team because I was too ashamed of my body to continue. I never wore shorts in the summer because I thought my legs were too fat. I never wore sleeveless shirts. Then I gained a bunch of weight after graduation and said f-ck it. I buy shorts. I wear crop tops. I wear sleeveless shirts. I am trying to lose weight now because I know I'm headed down a bad slope but I'm almost glad I gained the weight because it taught me to stop being so self conscious.
When No One Believes Them?
When someone threw a traumatic event that happened to me in my face because they thought I was lying. Their sister ended up backing me up but at that point I was just done trying to help people that didn't treat me well. I will help you until you hurt me, but I was done letting people walk all over me.
A Complete Turnaround
I went to my shrink to avoid getting sent to the mental hospital and she changed my life. She pointed out that now that I knew I could cross that line and kill myself, I could just do whatever I wanted and if everything went to sh\-t on me, I could just kill myself. On that day, I stopped giving a f-ck about what anyone wanted, but me. I filed for divorce, came out of the closet and two months after that, met the love of my life. We just had our 15th wedding anniversary. But I haven't given a f-ck in a long time. What I want and how I want to live my life is all I am concerned with. As for the "other guy"? He comes first, right after me.
Welcome To Your Thirties!
Giphy
When i turned 30 i realized i was pretending to give a f-ck for the past 5 years, all the time, creating f-cks in my head so i could give them, because i thought that was the way humans must deal with stuff. So i decided to embrace the f-ckless person that i became, and stopped giving fake f-cks completely. So now i just honestly don't give a f-ck anymore and don't feel bad about it.
Take A Possible Negative And Turn It Positive
When I realized at one point that everything I believed and did was completely wrong and had a huge existential crisis, along with a huge shift in my views and hobbies. This was probably a good thing though.
You Can't Change Their Mind
When I learnt that people are always pass judgement no matter what you do/say, since then I just do what makes me happy and let me sleep well at night.
Doesn't Matter How You Got There, You Still Got There
When I took molly and in the morning I was going through an afterglow and danced in front of my house from 9am to 2pm straight, even after being recorded by my neighbors, I just realized like. I don't f-cking care what people think anymore. I'm thirty and I've spent most of my life chasing people who don't give a f-ck about me while pushing away people who love the everliving sh-t out of me. I'm just done. I'm over it.
the person who's opinion matters of me is me, my partner when I find one and if I ever have a child, them.
Then You Have To Ask If It Really Matters
When I realized that people will talk/have an opinion on anything you do
Word. Also, knowing that a lot of talk/opinions are either bullsh-t or lies is icing on the cake.
It's Only You
About 2 years go I had a revelation. From birth to death, nobody has to spend more time with me than I do myself. Therefore, the only persons approval I have to have I my own. It has allowed my to quit worrying about sh-t I cant control and say f*** the BS to any negativity that may come my way.
Get To The Grind
When I realized adulthood is just endless grinding and leveling up.
When I realized how sooooo many people are absolutely full of sh-t.
When I realized all the "tough guys" were mostly wormy little b-tches.
When I realized all the motherf-ckers who'd been gaslighting me were dead wrong.
When I realized we're all specks of dust in the middle of f-cking nowhere.
Double The Pain
After I had to let both of my parents go.
Dad had his blood vessel in his head burst, along with prior kidney failure. The doctor said the surgery had less than 40% success rate. I figured out I we can't handle the cost, so I let him go.
Mom passed away 2 years later due to breast cancer, I told the doctor not to resuscitate her, at the time I just want to allow her to rest. She had been fighting for 4 years, staying alive just to see me graduate from college.
After all that, I find it hard to give a f-ck. I just wanna live my life and not be bothered, man.
A Changing Perspective
After my Mother died of stage 4 lung cancer.
People would be amazed at how tiny everyday life issues become in comparison to this emotional behemoth
Right there with you. I watched my dad suffocate as we took him off life support after lung transplant complications while he was in a medically induced coma. When I'm having a bad day, I remember that day and knowing there isn't much that can top that.
Then I remember how amazing the friends and people around me were to take care of my family. Makes the day a bit better in some weird way. I try to see if anyone else needs some help and I think less about how bad I'm feeling and I just let things go.
Turns Out The World Is Way Too Big To Care About Everything
Giphy
I figured out caring about everything thing isn't good for my mental health.
I want to care about nothing but I can't. I keep caring about too many things against my own will.
Caring is will. So it can't be against your will. All this means is you have conflicting desires.
You want to have some desires fulfilled, but you also want to be free of those desires. The latter is achievable with some introspection. I was able to realise for instance that many desires I used to have (in terms of career, relationships, hobbies...) were actually my parents', and my peers'. Because I had the deep desire to please my parents, and be accepted by my peers. Once I realised that, I said "f-ck it", and I started to investigate my actual desires, and pursue those.
It still causes a little pain when I think about being rejected, but I don't care. A life lived in fear of being rejected by others if you don't meet up to their expectations, while denying your own true aspirations, is not worth living in my opinion. And it turns out, most people I know supported me in my choices. And I don't spend time with those who don't.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
(Honestly, since Brittany O'Grady is having a moment right now, I'm hoping people will go back and watch. It's got a convoluted plot/dope soundtrack combo, Queen Latifah, multiple murders, some of the strongest hoop earring game ever put on screen and a series ending that made me want to flip tables. It was like Sopranos but with Black & Brown people and the music industry.)
Reddit user rock4lite asked:
"What instantly makes a man unattractive?"
Now listen, I'm not gonna tell you to go grab a notebook or the voice note app on your phone because you're about to get some mind-blowing new knowledge.
You're not.
Most of this boils down to Wheaton's Law.
"Meme Level Advice"
Channel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy"People do not understand how much basic hygiene can make a difference."
"I've been told by incels on this site that 'brushing your teeth, wearing clean clothes that fit, and having good posture is meme level advice and none of that matters.' "
"Well, let me tell you that the folks that actually get in my pants don't think that's meme-level advice. Basics, like clothes that fit and non-stinky breath, can go so far in making anybody way more attractive and approachable!" - LikelyNotABanana
"They consider it meme-level advice because that's what everyone constantly tells them, because they desperately need to do it. If they didn't keep brushing it off dismissively people probably wouldn't say it so often."
"If you ask someone for dating advice and they even mention these things, you absolutely need to do them. I have NEVER heard that said to anyone except to gently suggest they need to wash their ass and not dress like a slob."
"If their argument is 'i dId tHoSe tHiNgS bUt i sTiLl cAnT gEt a dAtE,' they're deliberately ignoring the fact that those things are the bare minimum and that they will still need to put in effort beyond that. Dating advice goes into far more detail elsewhere. No one is even pretending that basic hygiene is a silver bullet to getting laid."
"If someone's dating advice to you starts there, it's because YOU need to start there." - xxpen15mightierxx
Let People Talk
Deep Breath Sigh GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Speaking over me or others, it's not hard to be polite" - n3rd365
"The men of my boyfriend's family all do this constantly."
"I'm not sure it's possible to speak an entire sentence while having dinner with them. It's so discouraging."
"I've always felt very bad for his mother, being the only woman, and never being heard by her own sons/husband." - assortedolives
"I came here to say this. Speaking loud in general is unattractive to me - then when it's OVER someone else, it makes it so much worse." - SunyBunny420
"This is huge for me. I met my current boo because my date brought him along."
"Date kept speaking over his friend and me. The friend was a good listener and great conversationalist. I ditched my date for his friend and we've been together 3+ years." - karmabuchamama
Ex Factor
Season 1 Nbc GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy"When someone seems to only have 'crazy exes' ... you should run away before the sentence is over." - lurkinarick
"Honestly, bashing multiple exes at any time (there should be zero bashing for the first several dates because honestly idk you well enough & will just assume you're a dude who plays victim 24/7)."
"Once I've gotten to know you better it's okay to open up about a bad relationship or two- but frankly you should be able to not get overly emotional about it (like don't resort to name-calling or mean-spiritedness) or else I'm gonna assume you have not dealt with the fallout."
"I never trust a guy who acts like he's a 'crazy magnet.' Dude, you're the common denominator here, not them." - Crankylosaurus
"A guy once said 'you can't polish a turd' about his ex/kid's mom during a pre-date video chat. I was so put off that I cancelled the date almost immediately after." - science_v_romance
Cruel Is Not Cool
Rhony GIFGiphy"Being mean to appear cool." - azcntn
"I know this dude who is like a solid ten in all departments. I constantly joke that he's gonna steal my man, my mom, and the f*cking cats too."
"But the other day he was sharing his rebound stories and kept talking about he was gonna 'break hearts' and 'ruin her.' "
"I was like...bro eeeeew never let a woman hear you say that. You just turned into a sack of potatoes!" - RunanD
Pinnochio
disney classic GIFGiphy"I remember I dated someone who would just lie to make himself sound cool."
"I remember I realized it when his coworker was telling a hilarious story that I thought happened to my boyfriend. I instantly had this pit in my stomach. Biggest turn off." - makopinktaco
"There's nothing worse. Especially when there's a certain crowd or situation that brings it out. Like chill bro it's not a competition." - Coyote__Jones
"Yes. There was man I thought I was the most solid and reliable and hot as f*ck dude I'd ever met…I found out he'd been lying to me for a long time and it didn't take long for me to be turned off by him."
"Now I see his face and where I used to get all bothered (in a good way) I now just am annoyed and the word 'Coward' flashes across my brain."
"he knew lying was the only way I'd even meet him for coffee to date him. Had he been honest at first I'd never had met him for coffee, much less integrate him into my life, have each other's kids become family to one another, etc."
"He could've chosen to be honest after the initial meeting, too. Instead, he chose continually to omit info, and then as we got to know each other he had to lie more and more to keep me in the dark and maintain his original lie, and then he started lying to to cover other things up (things that were different than the initial lie but rooted in the same kind of bad behavior he consistently engages in.)"
"And then when our conversations about our histories and exes got to a point where he clearly needed to be honest and there was no more hiding to be done, he would suddenly go cold shoulder and stop being supportive of me. Eventually he resorted to gaslighting and subtle psychological abuse in order to make me shut up and not ask him questions, and so he could just keep seeing and flirting with his exes behind my back off and on."
"Nope. Never again." - Logical_Director_280
Table Manners
the lion king simba GIFGiphy"I remember a date I had with a guy almost 25 years ago."
"I remember it because we went out to eat at a local pizza restaurant. In the time it took me to eat half a slice, he had vacuumed up the rest of the pie which included loud, open-mouth chewing and belching."
"Chunks of food landed on his shirt. There were snuffling sounds as he shoved food down his maw. I don't remember anything else about that night but his disgusting method of eating. Total deal killer."
"I saw one of our mutual friends last year and she mentioned him. She told me he was heartbroken I never went out with him again and took it really hard at the time."
"I wasn't mean or anything and I never knew he felt so strongly about me. Absolutely no clue."
"But if that was the case, then that means he was probably on his best behavior that night. I can't imagine what worse manners might have come out if I'd seen him again." - DemonaDrache
"Friend of mine went on a date with a bloke in Uni who ordered pulled pork, and ate it like he'd not been fed in months. The moment my friend realized it wasn't going to work was when the guy looked up at him, and he had a smear of BBQ sauce on his forehead like Simba in the Lion King." - TheeAJPowell
Alpha Awfulness
Schitts Creek Ok GIF by CBCGiphy"Anything related to "alpha male" bull."
"If you tell me you're an 'alpha male' I will assume you have no personality, low self-esteem, are rude, abrasive, self-involved, and terrible in bed." - WrongRedditKronk
"I once had a dude I was actually kind of interested in refer to himself as an "apex sexual predator." I was no longer interested." - newyne
"Last week, I finally mustered up the courage to strike up a conversation with my gym crush after months of glances and smiles."
"He shared his Instagram, which was 'alphamale(his name).' Got over the crush so fast, there was some head-rush." - Biaatchandahalf
Glory Days
Seth Meyers Smoking GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"Talking about how hot they used to be like this coworker of mine does."
" 'I used to bike 10 miles a day, do 200 pushups in one go, and I even used to have that V cut, you know...down there.' "
"I'm just trying to send this email, Doug. Please leave me alone." - After-Collar-4582
"This is hilarious."
" 'So I'm not hot but I used to be which means I stopped putting work into myself and you should find that attractive.' "
"WHAT????" - refrainsfrompartakin
"Oh my god, people bragging about how fit they used to be is so obnoxious. Like cool, I used to have breakfast but I ate it." - rileytrodd
"A guy I went to college with would tell anyone who'd listen that he was a swimmer in high school and kept a close up photo of his abs on his phone."
"I can't tell you the number of times I've said, 'Yeah, you've already shown me that photo. Good for you.' " - Justaregularderp
Break Stuff!
destroy that 70s show GIF by LaffGiphy'Being destructive particularly when other dudes or other people are near by. Breaking things on purpose, hitting things that shouldn't be hit like walls or windows or destroying other people's art/property."
"It doesn't make you cool or strong it makes you a wasteful jerk I won't invite back into my life ever again."
"Mostly this came from stories from friends about their friends, stuff I've seen online and personal experiences with my brother."
"I was the only girl in a group of 5 guys when I was like 8 or 9 and all of them were super destructive when they all got together. Otherwise they were great."
"I had a crush on one of them but he was being destructive (I don't remember what he broke) and I quit liking him."
"Also my ex boyfriend's 'friend' destroyed a lot of his stuff, and he'd let him. Including a painting I made my ex for his 16th birthday."
"I was really proud of it and if he didn't want it he could have sent it back." - LessEnthusiasmPlz
Long story short, just calm down, relax, and be cool.
I believe in y'all!