People Break Down Which Things You Can Say At A Wedding But Not A Funeral
Two very different milestones in life: weddings and funerals.
They don't intersect much... and you don't want to confuse one for the other.
u/Abre724 asked:
What's something you can say at a wedding but not at a funeral?
Here were some of those answers.
It Does Happen
Let's do a silly photo this time
Irish funerals. Sombre ceremony, calm for the most part, completely silent except for the responses during mass and some crying. Then off to the pub. Massive piss up, celebration of the persons life. Many silly pictures can and probably will be taken.
No One Mourns The Wicked
Finally! I know this is the happy ending we all wanted.
Doesn't she look lovely in that dress?
Wink
That's going to be you one day.
I feel like you can absolutely say that someday you will die, at a funeral.
Like when you are single at a wedding and your aunts and uncles say: You're next
At funerals I look at them and say: You're next, with a wink.
An Open Season
"This is the happiest day of my life."
While you may be joking, that is one of the requests I've made too my wife for my funeral. Open bar, open ice cream bar, and as they lower me into the ground I want the sound of you going down the pipes in the original Super Mario bro's.
It Moved On
"I'm proud to say that I'm the one who's responsible for us being here today."
Underrated comment
Oops
My mom once said "Congratulations" at a funeral because she didn't fully understand the language yet.
I feel like if someone says something inappropriate but obviously is struggling with the language they should get a pass and a quiet explanation later on.
Over And Over
"Maybe this time it'll work out."
I'm imagining this being said at someone's second funeral. They were supposed to be dead at the first one, but so who came back to life for a while.
I Object
If anyone objects to this union speak now or forever hold your peace.
"I object!"
corpse comes to life
Over And Over
Till death do us apart was going to be my answer, but i could see a "grieving" widow maniacally mutter that phrases as they realize they have been freed from the iron chains of matrimony.
Mainly I would in that situation. Strip iff my clothes running into the sunset, on a quest to find the moon so I can howl at it.
Just Giving It Back To You Dude
i remember being at my distant cousin's wedding and an old man walked up to me and said "that'll be you one day". a couple months later one of my aunts sadly passed away, and at her funeral i saw that same old man. i walked up to him and said the same thing. apparently that's not a good thing to do?
People Share The Typical 90s Scenarios Gen Z Will Never Experience
Reddit user MediumRareTaint asked: 'What was a typical 90s scenario that today's youth will never experience?'
From latch-key life to knowing when someone's home based on their bike being thrown on the front lawn to the earliest, cringiest days of social media, 80s and 90s kids are full of stories from their childhoods.
But these stories are uniquely nostalgic as kids today will never quite experience this type of childhood ever again.
Redditor MediumRareTint asked:
"What was a typical 90s scenario that today's youth will never experience?"
Landline Etiquette
"Talking to someone's parent and asking for your friend, because it was the landline and no caller ID."
- MixedSyrup
"Answering the phone in the kitchen, then running back to your room to take it there, and yelling, 'MOM, HANG UP THE PHONE! MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM, HANG UP THE PHONE!'"
- manderifffic
The Dial-Up "Song"
"Dial-up internet. That tone is ingrained in my memory."
- Reeeeaper
Downloading Woes
"The experience of losing connection when you downloaded 99% of the file because your mom picked up the phone. Still hurts."
- Cute_Panda9
"Telling everyone in your family you're downloading a big file; don't pick up the phone."
"Reminding your family that you're downloading a big file; don't pick up the phone."
"Telling your family the file is almost done; don't pick up the phone."
"Then someone picks up the phone with ten seconds left... and you have to start the 14-hour download again tomorrow."
- Mustang46L
Internet Sounds in the Home
"The dial-up internet tone that was like nails on a chalkboard."
"'Welcome! You've got mail!'"
"The happy logging onto AIM sound."
"Someone yelling from another area of the house, 'Get offline so I can make a call!'"
"Starting a file download/upload... walking away to make a sandwich, brew coffee, fold laundry, start a new load of laundry, put the laundry away... and coming back and the download/upload is still not complete."
"Getting disconnected from the internet because someone picked up the phone to make a call while you were in the process of the aforementioned download/upload, and losing your everlovin' mind on that person."
"The best part: The original Oregon Trail game."
- Just_another_Sue
Renting Movies
"Getting a video to rent and watch at home made you feel like you were going 'out' to do something."
- ekimlive
"Oh God, movie rental, a pizza, some microwave popcorn, and some soda. It was such a fantastic night if those things were planned."
- GreenOnionCrusader
True Quiet and Disconnection
"The feeling of coming home free from school or work, and the outside world was very separate from you until the following day."
"You couldn’t easily find out what your friends were doing (they weren’t doing anything anyway), you couldn’t easily catch up on the news unless it happened to be on, and you couldn’t catch up on new movies or celebrity gossip unless you had a magazine lying around, which would come out monthly."
"It’s a level of relaxation that we took for granted, but we were likely the last generation to experience it."
- Own-Firefighter-2728
"Man, this is a really good one. We are so, so connected and it's so, so unhealthy for us."
"It was really nice when we were an entire phone call away. I didn't need to know anything about anybody, the focus was on the people you were with, and experiences outside of the home were more special."
- artemasfoul
The All-Important Meeting Place
"Making plans beforehand and having a meeting place since no one owned cell phones."
- MixedSyrup
Being Stood Up
"My youth and adulthood perfectly straddle cell phones. Last-minute cancellations became increasingly more common throughout my 20s but were rare in my teens."
"What really sucked was when a date didn’t show up and you had no way of knowing whether 1. they were ok, 2. they had a good reason, or 3. they just decided to stand you up. You generally assumed the worst, or at least I did."
- Dudley_Do_Wrong
"I never adjusted to this. I still hold true to my original plans and am confused with today's culture on this. Like, we made plans. If you didn't want to, don't say yes."
"And I am only 39."
- x-Mowens-x
No Cameras Rolling
"I grew up in the 70s and 80s, but this applies to the 90s as well…"
"You could do the absolute dumbest, craziest, most embarrassing s**t you could possibly imagine, and no one was recording it."
- FrankNStein
Safer Surroundings
"A parent saying, 'Here's $20, I'll pick you up at 8:00 when the mall closes. Don't talk to strangers.'"
- Nonsenseinabag
Airport Security
"Meeting people at the gate when you pick them up from the airport."
- Main_Maximum8963
"Romance movies have been ruined because of this."
- lifejustice
Cramming Commercial Time
"Making a dash through the house from the kitchen to the couch when someone yelled out, 'It’s back on!'"
- NicGyver
"This is how my mom used to get my sister and me to clean the house. One commercial at a time during a movie."
- reklawpuck
Live Television Programs
"Missing an episode on tv and never knowing when you can see that episode again unless some chance someone recorded it."
- Cute_Panda9
School Delays and Cancelations
"Waiting for your school district to be announced as on time, late, or canceled on the news when it snowed."
- SuitableNegotiation5
"Seeing your school scroll across the ticker was like winning the lottery."
- umanousti
Simpler Travel
"Stopping at a gas station and asking for directions."
"Or driving around aimlessly looking for a place to eat."
- Actuaryba
"Using an actual physical map. Then trying to fold it again."
- he77bender
Anyone who was a kid or young adult in the 90s will surely get feelings of nostalgia from at least some of these memories, but with the way technology is rushing forward, it's unlikely that kids today will ever get to experience these.
People Divulge If They'd Still Use Social Media If They Had To Share Their Real Identity
Social media platforms like Reddit allow users to comment on strangers' posts under the convenience of anonymity.
While a majority of the comments people leave can be insightful or encouraging, there are unfortunately many trolls who recklessly leave hurtful comments and do so while being cognizant that there are no real consequences for such bullish behavior.
This led Redditor pretty_monotonous to ask an interesting hypothetical about what would happen if a certain Reddit feature became obsolete.
They asked:
"Would you still use reddit if it had the anonymity aspect taken away? Why or why not?"
Some come to be entertained.
The Wallflower
"I'd lurk and read, but I wouldn't post."
– Not_a_werecat
"Basically how I've been using reddit for years! I have a hard time even making the simplest comments without thinking somehow this sh*ts gonna backfire on me somehow."
– archeryfreak93
Not Alone
"I love this ! I’m currently on a social media detox and I thought I was stupid for still using Reddit but I need some exposure to social media I can’t just completely cut it out, but this made me feel better thanks stranger."
– KylieJennerHusband
Fully Transparent
"Same for me. When I come here I can be fully transparent, and read others stories without making comparisons and going down the rabbit hole that usually leaves me feeling anxious and not good enough."
– crayshesay
It's a hard no.
Mental Health
"Nope. I removed myself from every platform that had that because I was constantly comparing myself to other real people, wishing I had what they had, and it was not healthy for me. Here, I have no clue who any of you are, and it's been an incredibly healthy shift while still allowing some exposure to social media."
– dj92wa
Permission To Be Rude
"No. Not because anonymity gives me the opportunity to be rude to people (I try to be as polite here as in real life), but because anonymity gives me the opportunity to talk about things freely that I wouldn't talk about if my actual name was attached to it."
"I have no desire for family members or employers to search my name and stumble across me sharing an embarrassing story, or having a not-so-mainstream opinion, or fangirling over my favorite tv character or whatever other niche interests I might have. Not to mention the risk of being stalked by people you try to avoid."
– onesmilematters
Giving Up On The Internet
"Hell no, I'd immediately stop using nearly every website I frequent if the anonymity was gone."
– AGlitchedNPC
Unemployment Risk
"One reason amongst the multitude of reasons, is that I don’t want the sh*t I say on the internet interfering with my job. I don’t want to get fired over a controversial opinion or over the language I use, such as simple words like f'k or sh*t. I’d have to overly censor myself, and the point of being anonymous is that I don’t have to do that."
– falaladoo
Security Reasons
"Probably not. I don't want to broadcast my identity for security reasons. I think that is often forgotten about when people go rabid over online anonymity."
"If a criminal/hostile state actor can make connections of when/where/what you post, it opens up a lot of scary possibilities."
– Substantial_Double32
For some, it's just a space for casual interaction.
Difference With Facebook
"This is one of the things that I really enjoy reddit for vs. Facebook. I can have indepth discussions, arguments, and debates with people who have no clue who I am, nor do I know them. I've really limited what I'll comment on Facebook out of the realization that any one I'm friends with could see that."
– ronaldreaganlive
Some Limits
"I might possibly still use it."
"But I won't express myself honestly anymore."
"Anonymity is one of absolutely essential things to assure honest and open debate. When you can be hounded and publicly punished for having an opinion different than that of the majority, you can not have free and fair debate."
– dittybopper_05H
Staying Private
"The same reason I don't post or comment on FB or Insta etc, I don't want people I know to read my opinions on anything. I'm a private person and It's none of their business."
"I like to be argumentative and have various opinions on topics that many people on my 'friends list' wouldn't necessarily appreciate."
"I'm also dead against the 'look at me' type of posting you see on other platforms; e.g. 'okay this time I'm done' without any explanation."
"In closing: I don't want to live my online life under the lense of people I know IRL."
– Rab1227
I would have no problem continuing to use any social media platform to comment on a topic with my authentic take on the subject at hand.
Because why on earth would anyone willfully make the original poster feel bad while they know exactly who is making negative remarks?
Many say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it."
Yet, that doesn't seem to stop people who have nothing better to do but elevate themselves by taking total strangers down.
Life's short, people. Let's be kind. It's not that hard.
When intending to show a woman how much she means to you, giving her flowers is a fairly common solution.
When trying to do the same for men, however, what to give them is a bit more challenging.
True, plenty of men will be overjoyed to get a bouquet of bright red roses or pink and yellow tulips.
Unfortunately, there are still far too many men who are too insecure with their masculinity to be caught dead holding a single rose, let alone a bouquet.
Leaving one to wonder, what is an appropriate substitution?
"What’s the gifting equivalent of flowers for a dude?"
Nothing Says Love Like Home-Baked Goods...
"Fresh baked cookies or brownies."- zazzlekdazzle
"It's a traditional romantic gift from the opposite sex that can also be given as condolence or congratulation."
"In every scenario where a girl might get given flowers, a guy might get given baked goods."- Efficient_Star_1336
Please Their Ego, And You'll Be Fine...
"Maaaan, just some appreciation and maybe a compliment."- Far_Kangaroo_8111
"I’m a simple man and don’t usually like being gifted anything."
"But a hug and heartfelt compliment or kiss from a SO goes a long way."- Fenix_Fire66
White Lotus Flirting GIF by HBOGiphyNo Need To Shop, Just Look At The Ground
"A cool rock."- simonearth
"My best mate would be over the moon if I found a cool rock and gave it to him."- NotoriousJAM
More Precious Than You Think...
"A 10mm socket."- speedyhemi
"There are only 1000 10mm sockets in the world and they move around, so if you can’t find yours it means that someone else is using it right now."- unbearablebastard
Nothing Better Than A Warm Embrace
"Hug works for me."- randymysteries
Season 9 Hug GIF by The OfficeGiphySomething To Eat, Not Just See And Smell
"Lots of guys on here saying flowers."
"Sure, some guys might want flowers, but don’t let this convince you that all guys secretly want someone to give them flowers."
"I’m a 38 year old guy."
"I don’t want flowers."
"I don’t want to find a vase for them."
"I don’t want to clean up when they wilt and the petals fall off."
"I don’t want you to waste your money on them."
"Don’t get me flowers."
"Get me something I can eat or drink instead."
"Beef jerky."
"Nice coffee."
"Nice booze."
"Dessert."- gilded-perineum
"Hot meal?"- kurainikuraini
Korean Drama Cooking GIF by The Swoon"Everything Is Awesome"...
"A Lego set."- dysFUNctional_kitty
"Yes!"
"I don’t drink alcohol or like flowers, but there is always room for one more Lego set on my shelf."- DelusionalPianist
And NOT Well-Done...
"A pack of ribeyes."- fishstock
"I have rarely loved my wife as much as when she came home with a barbecue kit."
"She told me I didn’t treat myself often enough."
"So she got a couple of beers."
"Went to the butcher for a couple of burgers and a steak."
"All I had to do was turn on the grill and sit back."- mirage2101
Still In The Botanical Family...
"Potted plant."
"I love flowers, but like, bring me the whole plant."
"The flowers will die in a few days."- PVDeviant-
Little Shop Of Horrors GIF by MauditGiphySeems Fairly Obvious
"Beer."
"A six-pack is always a nice gesture."- Excellent-Practice·
Just Make Sure You Get The Right Kind And Sauces!
"Chicken wings"- wm_destroy
"Plus Ranch or Blue Cheese (depending on preference)."- RatherDashingf11
Just Don't Expect To Ever Hear From Him Again...
"RTX 4090."- Jetzve
"The only right answer."- _Revlak_
Video Games Gamer GIFGiphyIt should perhaps be mentioned that not all women love getting flowers either.
Pollen is a notoriously bad allergy.
However, no matter the gender of the recipient, any gift to show how much you appreciate them should be met with gratitude.
After all, it's the gesture that counts.
Though, it shouldn't come as a surprise that some people will be even more visibly grateful to receive a gorgeous Wagyu rib-eye than they would a bouquet of daffodils...
CW: Assault and abuse.
Everyone loves a good true crime mystery.
The number of documentaries and podcasts reporting on murder and mass madness has tripled over the years.
People still make Dateline NBC, 20/20, and 48 Hours must-see TV.
Some cases should be too brutal to watch.
Yet we can't help ourselves.
We just can't seem to get enough.
Redditor Electrical-Lemon187 wanted to discuss the true-life horror stories that keep us all awake at night, so they asked:
"What crime was so brutal you get chills just thinking about it?"
The following piece may be too much for some people.
The details are definitely NC-17.
Disgusting
"The murder of James Bulger, an English 2-year-old abducted, tortured, and murdered in 1993 by two 10-year-old boys. I can't get that sh*t out of my head."
AdmiralBofa
"I remember this popping up on Reddit again some point after I had my little boy. He was almost 3 at the time, and I couldn’t sleep that night imagining that happening to my little guy. That and Albert fish, I was so f**ked after hearing the full morbid podcast on it I hugged my son an obscene amount of times that day."
dawn855
Who are they?
"Really, really upset me more than a lot of others for some reason."
IgnorethisIamstupid
"Although it is almost certain that the murderer(s) can no longer be identified, all authors of the report [2007, very detailed] independently agreed on who the main suspect in the case was. However, his name was not mentioned out of consideration for his descendants. I don’t know how I feel about that choice."
maof97
On Tape
"The David Parker Ray's murders. The transcript of the tape he played for his victims was one of the hardest things I've ever read."
idreaminwords
"The worst part (in my opinion) is that on the FBI’s website, they have pages and pages of pictures of his trophies. Hundreds of photos of items that they believe belonged to women he tortured."
"None of the photos are of gore just items like pins and earrings. FBI’s photos It pains me that each of those items belong to someone who suffered the unimaginable. There is a large amount of Native American-made jewelry, Harley Davidson memorabilia, and even a medical alert bracelet."
Intrepid_Remote_6129
In Pennsylvania...
"Not the most brutal I've heard of, but one that affected my parents heavily. In Pennsylvania 20ish years ago, a man had his head blown off on live TV. 2 bank robbers put an explosive collar on a friend's neck, then made him rob a bank or they'd blow him up."
"Police catch and begin to arrest him, but he warns police about the bomb. Police wait for a bomb squad/orders on what to do, and reporters show up and start recording. Then the 2 robbers see their 'friend' on the news, and hit the detonator before he gives them away."
Spinerflame
One Dark Night
"Susan Powell and her children destroy me. Her husband axed the two boys and set the house on fire and they all died. Susan had gone missing a year(s?) earlier and it’s just figured at this point the husband did it but her body was never found. Horrific."
Broadway_is_Burning
"Agreed. This makes me sick to my stomach."
"Physically ill. We all know what he did to his wife and kids but I get sick when I think about the fact they dated. They had everyday interactions. They spent years together. Years of conversations, jokes, intimacy, etc… and for him to brutally murder them all one night? Especially because people knew him as this passive guy. Really f**ks me up."
rootea
What is wrong with the world?
How do some people become such monsters?
The Infamous
"Everything surrounding Jonestown. Once as a kid I caught a documentary about it on PBS, just straight over the antennae TV at maybe 8 pm and it was one of the most graphic things I've ever seen on TV."
AlanMorlock
"I listened to most of the tapes and they are a hard listen. I go wrong with trying to put myself in that place during the whole ordeal of living in Jonestown. The sad, climatic end to life there, as told through the death tape... it's very horrific. What's crazy is that there are still questions surrounding that awful day in November."
"The death tape was edited, notice that it goes from killing the children to Jim Jones announcing that they performed a mass suicide. Morbid curiosity would want me to know what happened during the whole ordeal. Then there's the day after tape, where it sounds like a man and a woman are watching a news report on the murders. Where did that come from and who recorded it? It's very strange and we may never know the answers or the full story."
BoxTalk17
Mandalay Bay
"The Vegas shooting. It's hard to imagine being in a killing field, I wouldn't know where to hide or run. Stuff like that creeps me the f**k out because nutbags seem to be everywhere."
LightningTF2
"I was just in Vegas in March. I smoked some weed for the first time in years because hey it's Vegas and it's legal. I sat in the chair that looked out of my hotel window and could NOT imagine what that would be like."
"When we walked towards Mandalay Bay later on that evening the feeling of dread hit me so hard that my wife and I turned around. Being a little high didn't help but either way, it felt like Vegas was acting like it didn't even happen. So wild."
iscreamconey
Take the Bus
"As a New Yorker, I get chills every time I see a story about some crazy person just shoving a random person onto the subway tracks, for no apparent reason. I've seen footage and security camera video, and the person is just standing there, minding their own business, and some psycho just jumps up and shoves them onto the tracks for no reason at all."
"Kids too. and if not for fast-acting well-meaning strangers, these people would have been killed instantly. In one video, the little girl was saved by a whisker. Gives me the creeps that there are psycho's out there that do these sorts of things."
The_REAL_McWeasel
The OG Evil
"I know this is bland, but Ted Bundy, how the hell did he manage to get away with 99% of the murders he committed."
gaydumba**3
"Just imagine being around back then. He escaped during one of his trials and during the manhunt to find him he murders people. It must've been such a crazy time."
due_the_drew
"Absolutely, and the fact he was charming made people think no more of him, and that was one his best perks, the fact he could lure you so easily is what made him such an effective killer."
gaydumbass3
Ted Bundy will never not be a part of the conversations surrounding the worst of the worst.
This list will kill my sweet dreams forever.