You probably hear this everywhere all the time these days, but I am completely and utterly done with people who don't wear masks and flout restrictions during a global pandemic. Just avoiding people out in public is an act of self-preservation at this point. Otherwise, I'd go crazy!
After Redditor nikhilparab asked the online community, "What are you completely over and done with?" people shared their own frustrations. These days, people have plenty to say, don't they?
"Don't get me wrong..."
Being an adult. I would like a refund. This is nothing like the brochure.
Don't get me wrong. Being an adult has its perks but the amount of cleaning involved. Also... naps aren't nearly as restorative as I remember.
Okay, brief pause.
Can I just say AMEN to that first one? Because... amen. I love being an adult, I just... don't want to pay anymore bills. Can't I just wake up tomorrow and be independently wealthy? That would be a big help.
Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Feeling like I owe people an explanation. I don't.
Poverty. Being poor is a lot worse than most people think.
Politics. Hands down done with it. It can definitely bring out the worst in people.
"I can't stand being expendable..."
I'm completely tired of my job in retail. I can't stand being expendable for 'the sake of the store' and not really being allowed to do other tasks while at work that I enjoy and are work-related. At the same time, some days it feels like I'm risking my health and the health of my loved ones because it's scary working with the public while there's this virus going around.
The anti-maskers. I'm a substitute teacher. On Friday I had a twelve-year-old girl trying to lecture me about how "masks are actually harmful to your health." I want to see her parents beaten severely with a sock full of soap, myself.
"I don't have the time..."
Competitive online gaming. I don't have the time to invest needed to compete against 19-year-olds.
"If my job calls me back..."
Driving to work. My commute is about an hour and a half each way. Since the pandemic, I have been working from home and I save about $300 a month on gas and tolls. If my job calls me back into the office when this is all done and over, I plan on finding another job that either allows me to work from home or significantly cuts down on my travel time/distance.
"I'm really over food recipes..."
I'm really over food recipes where the author tells a whole life story with the ingredients and prep work of said recipe lightly sprinkled across the whole essay. Just give me the recipe for fried green tomatoes, you hooker!
This is probably the most relatable thing on this list. Is there anyone who actually likes this?!
I can't blame this last person.
Commuting is terrible. I certainly don't miss it. Why would I? Why would he? The benefits of not commuting are good for our wallets and the environment. We just need to address and declare specific work-life boundaries to avoid significant burnout and we'd be golden. And while this isn't to say that some people don't want to go back to an office (and they should if it's the place in which they feel they can most effectively tackle their work), it's nice to see that we as a country are having such a valuable conversation.
Physically loud people. Slamming doors, drop-throwing things onto surfaces, stomping around like giant adult babies.
That's the worst.
I used to live with a roommate who slammed doors constantly. It was aggravating and kept me on edge. You must be unsurprised when I say that I'm glad I don't live there anymore.
"My views don't align well..."
The U.S. political party system. My views don't align well with one over another...but unless you're registered Democrat or Republican, you might as well throw away your vote.
"I'm getting on in years..."
Working in an office. I'm getting on in years and I must admit that I didn't like working from home when this Covid crap started. However, I gradually grew accustomed to it and now don't understand why we need to ever go back in. Everything is trackable as far as productivity is concerned. For someone that lives in the NYC metro area, those 3 total hours of commuting a day (those days where everything runs on time) is not something I want to ever experience again.
"People being famous..."
Celebrity culture. People being famous and making the news for going on vacation, wearing clothes. ...just, why? Why is this newsworthy?
Paris Hilton just made the news today for announcing her engagement, and when was the last time everyone paid attention to anything she did?
"I'm tired of hearing stuff like that..."
Being responsible for others. I'm so burned out from teaching and this pandemic has made me realize that others do not really care for me or my safety. They would rather say "suck it up," or mention how I'm not the only one with concerns and problems. I'm tired of hearing stuff like that from the school board, administration and parents. When this school year is up, I'll be working for myself. Not some money-hungry board, unempathetic administration, biological donors who want a cookie for having a child, or parents who think I have no life outside of work.
"The amount of stuff..."
Living in a place where it snows/winter weather in general. Every year winter essentially destroys any progress I feel I've made on myself during the other 8 months of the year. Physical and mental health just go out the window. The amount of stuff I don't get done because I physically can't back out of my driveway feels detrimental.
It snowed here yesterday, though it thankfully didn't stick! It's been a tough winter. Hell, it's been a tough year.
I actually have plenty I could say about that, but you all deserve a break. If you have anything in your own lives you wish to vent about, feel free to do so in the comments section below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Students who have not prepared for an exam somehow have the energy to devise a plan to cheat.
Ploys<p>These Redditors witnessed answers being relayed to students by an unassuming accomplice.</p><p>While the tactics may have looked good on paper, they failed to fool anyone. <br></p>
Using A "Translator"<p>"At the test center I used to work candidates were allowed to bring a translator of their choice as long as it got approved by the state. Most of the time it was a family member and we would listen in on the conversation using a headset and record it. Once in a while, while replaying the recordings we would hear signals and patterns given by the translator telling the candidate which option to choose. Busted!"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goh177j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Csuz9022</a><br></p>
Braiding Hair<p>"Not an exam proctor, but a student who heard of this afterwards. It was two girls, and the one who knew the answers sat behind the other. During the test, she started braiding the other girl's hair. When the teacher wasn't looking, the one in the front would make a number with her fingers on the side of her thigh (the question), and the other responded by pulling her hair on specific spots (A, B, C, D)."</p><p>"They made a habit of braiding each other's hair everyday days before the exam so the teacher wouldn't find it weird. I was the goody two shoes who never cheated, but even I had to respect them."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohx322?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Leticia_the_bookworm</a><br></p>
Notes To Self<p>Some students used their own bodies to scribble down the answers – including on thighs, arms, and even mixed among freckles.</p><p>All that work disguising the answers could have been spent on studying.</p><p>Yet, here we are. <br></p>
Notes On Thighs<p>"I'm not an examiner but my mate once wrote out loads of notes on his thighs then went to the toilet during the exam- the examiner led him to the toilet to check the cubicle out first etc then waited to listen for papers rustling etc. He wasn't very smart but that could well be the smartest idea he's ever come up with. Absolutely do not condone though!"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goguirq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sophloopyP</a><br></p>
Camouflage With Freckles<p>"I have a lot of freckles on my arm, which would turn lighter if I put pressure on the skin, which gave me an idea. If I used a marker with a similar color as my freckles, I could make dots that formed letters or numbers, and when I pressed my arm just right, the freckles would fade for a second or two, but the ink would remain dark. Couldn't write a lot like this, but enough for notes on more difficult concepts. Never got caught."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohqb1h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">FourRosesVII</a><br></p>
Two "BUSTED" Students<p>"Not a proctor but I witnessed two students get caught cheating while we were taking exams."</p><p>"One girl wore cheap/thin leggings that were slightly too tight. When she sat down, they would stretch out further and would basically become see-through over her thighs. She had a bunch of equations written on her thighs that one of the proctors noticed as they walked around the testing room. BUSTED."</p><p>"One guy had a bunch of stuff written on the insides of his arms, near his wrists . He wore a long-sleeved shirt that he would pull up/down. One of the proctors noticed him messing with it across the room and had him pull his sleeves up. BUSTED."</p><p>"Don't cheat, kids. You really don't want to have to explain to future employers or grad schools why you have an academic suspension or worse on your transcript."</p>
Tricks Up My Sleeve<p>Instead of relying on accomplices or their own flesh canvases, the following students devised ingenious ways to cheat. </p><p>One proctor was astonished while watching one particular student who, like a magician, produced slips of paper from "everywhere."</p>
Printing Personalized Labels<p>"I knew a guy who would make his own labels for soda/water bottles, but change the nutrition info to be useful equations for the test. The labels' material was identical to regular ones, even down to the gloss of the paper. Seems like if he spent the time studying, instead of making perfect labels for cheating, he wouldn't need the labels in the first place." </p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goi5cta?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Helldiver-xzoen</a><br></p>
So 2020<p>"My friend came up with the realization that you can slip a paper into your mask and then pull it to see what you wrote."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gogvb4u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Disposable_baka404</a><br></p>
The Pen<p>"In high school, circa 1996, I somehow obtained the answers to a 20 question test. I proceeded to go to the computer lab and type the answers and then printed them in size 3 font. Then I cut them out and taped them on one side of a white Bic pen. During the test I could roll the pen so the answers weren't visible, and then when I need to look I could tilt the pen slightly and see the answer. I missed two on purpose so the teacher wouldn't figure I cheated."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohmm4p?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Flip17</a><br></p>
So Many Slips Of Paper<p>"Guy came in to sit an exam (along with one or two dozen others), wearing an eyepatch and with one arm in a sling with a prosthetic hand. Pretty unusual, but whatever. But I got suspicious when he started fiddling with his eyepatch, pulling it way away from his face and then putting it back. So I pressed the button on my desk that turns the cameras on (not sure why they didn't just record all the time, but this was back in the mid-eighties). I wasn't actually supposed to intervene in these cases, so I just sat there and watched, astounded, as this guy proceeded to pull little slips of paper from all over the place -- the sleeve of his supposedly injured arm, <em>under his tongue</em>... incredible. I don't know how he fooled himself into thinking nobody would notice."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goiemw8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">super_aardvark</a><br></p>
Sometimes the things that come out of peoples' mouths are truly astounding. It makes you wonder, where did things go wrong? Why are they like this? As Forrest Gump once said, “stupid is as stupid does".
Here are a few of the most jaw-dropping lay stupid things that have been said by actual human beings. Not aliens trying to figure out how humans communicate--ACTUAL human beings. Thanks, Reddit.
First up, what better people to hear ridiculous claims from than children? Here are some people that even teachers couldn’t help.
Well, that’s awkward.
I was in 5th grade like 20 years ago, and I am a male which is important later. My school changed an extra girls locker room into a computer lab. When my class got to go check it out, I say "wow, it looks so different!".
Everyone looks at me like I'm a creep. What I meant to say was "wow it looks so different that the boys locker room!" I still think about this when trying to fall asleep more often than I'm comfortable with.
....no. No it’s not.War Guy GIF Giphy
In my Spanish class where they were talking about Spanish countries
"What about Syria...isn't Syria Spanish?"
Worst part... NOBODY called her out on it to the point I was questioning myself. The professor had good English but it wasn't her first language and she dodged her question saying she's only going over countries in south america. I had to literally write myself a note that she literally asked that question. Then I got paired up with her like 10 minutes later for a group activity and I still wasn't over this question lol
Fake but also real but also demonic?
A kid in high school tried to convince me that men had an extra rib and that the earth is only a few thousand years old. Same kid said that ouija boards were full of magnets and gears which made them fake, yet they were simultaneously completely real and needed to be burned on sight to prevent demonic possession.
But sometimes it’s the parents of children who say the dumb stuff.
Back in 2014 I still vividly remember we were eating dinner, and my brother is chewing with his mouth open while my sister is talking. My dad, still thinking about her talking but talking to my brother said "Talk with your mouth closed." and my sister just went silent immediately.
Stupid can turn into ignorant really quickly. Here are a few examples of the not-so-harmless kind of dumb statements.
Fun fact: they don’t use the US Constitution in New Zealand. Who knew?angela rye guns GIF by Third Rail with OZY Giphy
After the church shooting in New Zealand, they banned guns. My coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the second amendment. We live in California.
Everyone knows New Zealand is the state below New Canada.
Uhhhhh that’s racist af.
Not to me but my husband.
He had to take an uber home from the Naval Base in San Diego (car was getting fixed) and the guy who picked my husband up was from Pakistan and they had small talk, telling him how he moved over here etc, dude was pretty cool.
My dumbass half sister whom we were staying with for a bit told him straight to his face, "Oh since you're military he probably wanted to like... murder you."
...What a f*cking ignorant, racist thing to say.
Just gonna leave this one here....
"And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, because you see it gets in the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that out."
Well that’s a new one.
A trans friend got "You're registered as a man here, so I need to hear a male voice to complete the verification of your acount."
Not the first time the cable company pulled this 'female' account 'female' voice / 'male' account 'male' voice crap. But that one time was on a whole other level.
But most of the time, dumb statements are harmless, and make for a good story down the line.
I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face either.alvin and the chipmunks GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy
A few questions I've heard come to mind, I'm not sure which is the best/worst.
A few years ago my mom, in her 60s at the time, asked me if chipmunks grow up to be squirrels. Have you ever tried to keep a straight face while explaining to the grown-ass woman who was responsible for keeping you alive for ~18 years that chipmunks and squirrels are different animals?
In high school during a Spanish class as student asked "Do Spanish-speaking people think in Spanish?" After being told yes, her follow-up question was "Are they born speaking Spanish?" The teacher kept a straight face explaining that foreign language speakers learn their language the same as the student learned English, but there were a lot of other students laughing and brutally mocking her.
Ah yes, the two types of guitars.
Dumbest thing I ever asked was, "do you prefer playing electric or air guitar?" I really meant to say acoustic, like my dad's.
Air guitar. I don't know how to play the acoustic or electric guitars, but I never get a wrong note on the air guitar.
Did you change your birthday?
At the bank.
Teller: Is your phone number still 123-4567?
T: Is your address still 123 Easy st?
T: Is your birthday still 01/01/2000?
M: laughing I sure as hell hope so
I can't even make fun of these. One time I asked my husband where the Newport Ferry sailed to.
I think we all have slip-ups in our brains sometimes. It's part of being human, and hey, they stay alive as inside jokes for generations to come
If you want to be ready when an emergency strikes--or isn't far away--it's so important to have a developed foundation of preparedness.
In the midst of a sudden crisis, blood pumping and heart racing, devising what to do out of the blue is just about impossible.
But if you've studied ahead of time, and even practiced if you're really good, you won't have to devise anything. You'll just act. And you'll act correctly.
Don't Count Anybody Out<p>"If people stumble for no reason and sound drunk but haven't had alcohol, ask them to smile. If it looks weird/ one side is drooping, get them to a hospital ASAP. High chance it is a stroke."</p><p>"Plus people of every age can have a stroke."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/goc5mux?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Zuckerschneggle</a></p>
Know What to Look For<p>"The symptoms of a heart attack are slightly different for men and women. This is one of the reasons women sometimes get diagnosed too late."</p><p>"Men: Cold sweat/ nausea; Chest pressure/pain; Shortness of breath; Pain in arm(s), back, neck, jaws, stomach"</p><p>"Women: Fainting/ extreme fatigue; Chest pressure; Shortness of breath; Upper back pressure; Light-headedness/ dizziness; Pain in arm(s), back, neck, jaws, stomach"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/goci0x2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Veni_Vici-Vetinari</a></p>
YOU WILL NOT GET IN TROUBLE<p>"If you are taken to the hospital and the doctors ask you if you have taken any drugs don't just think about the illegal stuff also tell them if you've had small things like Advil or Tylenol it could save your life." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocncvh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Atomicwaffle117</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Frankly this needs to taught in schools. I've known people who took stuff and didn't tell the doctor's, they either went into withdraw which prolonged there stay, or the doctor's have them stuff which interacted with drugs and they nearly died cause of it" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocqenr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">xxluisvrewxx</a></p>
Warning Signs<p>"If your vomit looks like coffee grounds, you may have internal bleeding. Head straight to the hospital." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/goc0diy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Long-Cupcake</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Additionally, this kind of internal bleeding is further down the digestive tract and has a higher chance of being a more serious issue."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"coffee grounds means that the blood has been digested by your stomach. if it was just a tear in your mouth or esophagus (like from vomiting too much) it would be bright red." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocsn62?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">elaerna</a></p>
Get Low<p>"Crawl out of a burning building, breathing as close as possible to the floor as you move."</p><p>"Toxic smoke rises while air remains more breathable nearest the floor."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/goc9phy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a> </p>
Not Over Yet<p>"There's something that's called gasping. It's the fake breathing that occurs when you're performing CPR on someone that has water in his lungs (i.e. because of drowning). It looks like a fish that's trying to breath when it's out of water."</p><p>"The person is not back alive then, and you should not stop the CPR."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/goc4dy0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SilverStory4502</a></p>
Quarterback the Response<p>"In an emergency around any other people, be intentional and specific with people. Do not shout into the void 'someone call for help!!!' "</p><p>"Make eye contact with someone, make sure they know you are talking to them, tell them what you need: 'Sir in the blue shirt. Call an ambulance.' 'Ma'am with the green jacket, go ask the barista for a clean towel.' 'You with the hockey mask and machete, watch this baby!' "</p><p>"Studies have shown that the assumption that someone else will do something is ingrained within people and often they will not help without specifically being talked to."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocr6es?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Goosfrabbah</a></p>
Deprive the Oxygen<p>"Don't pour water on a burning pan/oil/grease in the kitchen, cover it with a damp cloth or towel. Water will make it explode like a bomb."</p><p>"Same goes for gasoline I believe - the burning gasoline will just float on top, still aflame, but now spreading more easily to something else flammable."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocq1vu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bodhi85uk</a></p>
Ya Never Know<p>"If you have to eat crickets or similar insects, chew them. DO NOT EAT THEM ALIVE. They have spines on their legs which can cling to your throat and are very difficult to remove without a decent amount of force (i.e. you cant "shake" your throat like you would your hand to remove them)."</p><p>"If they block your wind pipe, you'll asphyxiate."</p><p>"I used to work at a pet store, I've had to explain this to quite a few people who wanted to do "Fear Factor" parties or dares or pranks."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocqtun?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AzoriumLupum</a></p>
Counter-Intuitive Warnings<p>"If one of your depressed friends suddenly starts acting really happy or peaceful, don't leave them alone."</p><p>"When suicidal people have a plan and are about to kill themselves, it can make them feel relieved which can make it look like their depression is getting better."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpmamq/what_are_some_facts_that_can_actually_save/gocxdjo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mylifeisathrowaway10</a></p>
Culture shock is an understatement.
Have you ever gone abroad and seen something just... so out of whack and strange that you couldn't help but fixate on it? Like, yes, other countries are very different than the United States. But different is not the reason that we are so perplexed and somewhat horrified.