Redditor gosty_the_brave24 wanted everyone to spread a little history.
So they asked:
"What's an NSFW facts about a historical figures that we don't learn in school?"
This thread maybe slightly inappropriate for readers under 17. So NC-17
Educational, but inappropriate.
Clothes Off
Shaking Cold Weather GIF by funkGiphy"Victor Hugo wrote in the nude as a form of motivation. He was a horrible procrastinator so he would lock himself in a room and have his clothes taken as encouragement to get his work done (because he was cold). When he was finished, he'd get his clothes back."
retro-petro
How Wonderous
"Wonder Woman was created by a polyamorous man who was (a) a feminist, (b) a kinkster, and (c) living with two bisexual women. Wonder Woman was influenced by at least one of his wives, and started as a very overt, kinky, empowering sex symbol for women, and was nearly cancelled because of how explicitly she was being depicted. It's supposed that her rope of truth was partly inspired by rope play in BDSM."
ray25lee
Zelda Lies
"F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife, Zelda, told him that the way he was built, he would never please a woman. He confessed this to Hemingway in a French bar, and Hemingway told him to meet him in the bathroom where he looked at Fitzgerald's penis and told him he was 'perfectly fine.'"
littleredridinghood6
Ummm...
"Emperor Nero kicked his wife Poppaea to death. He later found a slave boy named Sporus who looked like Poppaea, had him castrated, and kept him as his wife. After the death of Nero, Sporus was taken by Nymphidius Sabina, who treated Sporus as his wife. But Sabina was murdered by his guards when he tried to become Emperor. Sporus was next taken by the Emperor Otho, who had once been married to Poppaea until Nero took her away from him."
"Otho called Sporus Poppaea and took him as his wife. Otho was murdered shortly afterwards. Otho's rival, Vitellius, planned on using Sporus in a reenactment of the Rape of Peroserpina in the Colosseum, but Sporus committed suicide."
FireFlinger
Domino's?
Pizza Pizza Pizza Dancing GIF by Domino’s UK and ROIGiphy"The Boris Yeltsin pizza incident, in which the former Russian leader was found in just his underwear outside the Whitehouse hailing a cab so he could go get pizza... https://www.politico.com/blogs/on-congress/2009/09/yeltsin-drunk-in-his-underwear-hailing-a-cab-021553"
fezwang
I just don't find pizza THAT appealing.
Falling Apart
tales from the darkside 80s GIFGiphy"Herodotus, an ancient Greek Historian once stated that female mummies who passed away in Ancient Egypt were found more decomposed than male mummies. The reason being was that the females were kept at home for longer periods of time before sent for embalming to prevent necrophilia."
Icarithan
It did not work...
"Not quite a historical figure but John Pemberton, the inventor of Coca Cola, did so because he was chronically addicted to morphine and was trying to get off of it. Original ingredients were cocaine (famously), sugar, alcohol, and caffeine. He was trying to supplant his other addiction. It did not work."
Nightjar82
"So another thing about Pemberton that I learned very recently was that he served as a Lieutenant Colonel in the Confederate army during the Civil War. His morphine addiction you were talking about was actually something he developed after being stabbed with a sword during a battle."
TylerD1528
In Public
"John Quincy Adams boasted that outdoor sex was an American invention. Between that, his pet alligator, and a life spent in public service (literally from his teenage years until his death), probably far more interesting than most people who've held high office in the USA."
Bowmore34yr
"Also swam nude in the Potomac, daily, when he was president."
costabius
Build It
"The new UK monarch King Charles III great-great-grandfather Edward VII was so obese that he commissioned a french carpenter to build a chair that would enable him to have sex with one or two people at once. It is called the siege d'amour and was installed at his favourite brothel."
haveasliceofpizza
Oh Mary
frankensteins monster frankenstein GIFGiphy"The author of Frankenstien lost her virginity on her mother's grave."
Unique_Finance_2358
"In the version I saw, her father didn't approve of the relationship, so she told him she was visiting her mother's grave to avoid suspicion and then met her guy there for sexy time."
Agitated_Ad7576
Well that is a whole lot of mess. Goodness.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
"What was the best moment you've seen where the real world hit a spoiled rich kid?"
It Will Get Replaced, Right?
"Knew a rich kid whose parent's bought him a car and he treated it like absolute garbage."
"Purposely driving it really hard and generally abusing it, confident in the notion that his parents would buy him the one he wanted after he destroyed the one they got him."
"Well they didn't buy him another one, ever."
"He rode the city bus and bummed rides off of friends after that."
"He was the most entitled f*cker I'd ever met."
"If he was over at your house he would just help himself to whatever was in the fridge like it was some sort of paid buffet."- Ajj360
Some People Think They're So Special
"I saw Justin Bieber throw a sh*t fit and end up not getting what he wanted."
"We have quarterly team building exercises at my company where you basically go and play mini golf or some other activity capped at $25/person."
"Sometime between 2009 and 2011, I really can't remember exactly, my group just decided to go for a fancy lunch in Downtown Portland."
"After lunch we took one of our coworkers to the semi-famous Nike store which was a couple of blocks away and that was the day Justin Bieber happened to show up."
"When he and his entourage arrived he said something somewhat loudly along the lines of 'Y'all are going to have to leave for a bit 'cause I'm here to do some shopping' and some of his people acted like they were going to try and politely force the already-present customers out of the store so Bieber could shop alone."
"But the Nike employees even more politely told him that was not possible."
"At that point Bieber lost it-I mean he threw a total tantrum because they wouldn't shut down the store for him."
"The tantrum didn't work and he and his folks left in a huff."
"That's really my only 'celebrity in the wild' encounter and it's freaking lame."- Oakwood2317
excited justin bieber GIFGiphyIt's Not Attractive To Gloat
"Spoiled rich kid showed up to school in a $325,000 sports car."
"He was showing off, lost control of the car, and drove it through a brick wall and totalled it."- Galemianah
Think Pink, Or See Red!
"Dad buys a rich kid a Mercedes."
"It was pinkish, salmon colored, so the kid b*tched about it."
"Dad took to away, sold it, and never bought him another car."
"Rich brat had to buy his own."- BrilliantWeb
Blame Game...
"Saw a college guy with a ridiculously expensive car, can't remember the model, rear-end this woman who drove an absolute beater."
"Her car was definitely totalled and his wasn't looking that hot either."
"He got out and started screaming at this woman."
"She was in tears."
"He kept telling her that she was going to pay for this."
"When the cops came, I saw each of them give their statements."
"After that, me and like 10 people came forward and gave our witness statements."
"It sounded like each and every one of us put complete fault on him, which was the truth."
"When the cops went back to him, I saw his face just sink."
"He probably told them it was her fault and just found out that two handfuls of people just confirmed that he's full of sh*t."
"I've never seen that many witnesses stick around for a simple traffic accident."
"I think the other people felt the same way I did."
"That kid was a douche and should be punished for what he did."- the_planes_walker
car slamming GIFGiphySome People Actually Hear The Wake Up Calls!
"One of my college roommates was very rich growing up."
"I didn't realized just how rich until I had to explain to her what a coupon was in very extensive detail."
"On multiple occasions she bragged that she wasn't even interested in her major, philosophy, or college in general, but she was at uni because her parents were requiring her to get a degree, any degree, in order to get access to her trust fund."
"I don't remember ever seeing her go to class and she eventually got expelled sophomore year over academic dishonesty."
"I guess this was the last straw for her parents because they cut her off pretty soon after that."
"This actually served as a wake up call."
"She somehow managed to get a public health degree at a different school in spite of the academic dishonesty listed on her transcript."
"She's doing pretty well for herself these days."
"We've kept in touch and last we talked she was considering grad school."- __justbecause
Schadenfreude, or happiness at the misfortune of others, is never kind.
That being said, it's hard not to smile when people who shamelessly flaunt their wealth and privilege suddenly find themselves a creek without a paddle.
Hopefully, this will teach them to make some necessary changes to their lifestyle.
Though, one can only hope that their parents, who enabled this behavior, also learned a valuable lesson.
Redditor KayoshiStoryteller wanted to discuss the things people worship on another level.
So they asked:
"What is not a religion, but people treat it with the same attention?"
The Beyhive. They can be a bit much. But I also see Beyoncé as a religion.
Brands
Just Do It Sport GIF by NikeGiphy"Brands in general. People praising Adidas, Apple, Hugo Boss, etc."
Spaceman_Beard
How DARE YOU!!
"Mommy groups. Started getting completely out of hand when my kids were teenagers. I'm a crunchy mom, I'm this kind of mom, or that kind of mom. Those people get rabid. How DARE YOU listen to advice given to you from a doctor about your individual child, MY group thinks 'THIS.' Heresy! Blasphemy! We will CRUCIFY you!"
"They used to helpful, now they are f**king cults."
SubstantialPressure3
Serious Ball
"In India, cricket."
Hyperion_23
"God. The Indian team does idk what, next day everybody in my class (including the f**king teacher) is trashing the team they once cherished."
Super382946
"And Pakistan, my cousins wife threw her phone and nearly smashed it today in the Sri Lanka Vs Pakistan match when a Pakistani guy didn't catch the ball."
Emeralddx
The Fame
"When the English band Take-that split up, the Samaritans help line had such an influx from beyond broken-hearted teenage girls that they required new personnel for how overwhelmed they became. These girls genuinely lived vicariously through, and lived for these celebrities and little else."
Guava_
Disney Fireworks GIFThe Disney cult. It's real.
Fans
Giphy"Homoeopathy."
dangerus_dave
"Essential oils too… the young living fans vs the doTerra fans is crazy!!!"
Deadicatedinpa
"My belief in homeopathy is extremely strong because I dilute it to one part in a million."
CHSummers
Convince Me
"Some MLM schemes."
battlelevel
"When I was a cable installer. MLM people were my worst fear way more than religious people. One lady spent the entire 4 hours at her house trying to convince me. After 4 hours I still was not entirely convinced I understood what they sold. I am pretty sure they sold self help books. But the self help books were made solely to help you sell more of the self help books to sell more self help books."
ggoug
What??
"Kpop."
MixWeekly2771
"I had an acquaintance who was hyped for a Kpop concert, totally normal right? But no, she was going off about how this is the perfect outfit to get this guy to fall for her and they'll have a spring wedding unless he prefers autumn in which case she would totally compromise. What??"
"She was 19, doesn't speak any Korean, and doesn't want to live in Korea. She's still young enough for people to find it silly and endearing, somehow. When I was in school, if someone was still going nuts for Beiber(?) or whatever past 16, they def got bullied."
s0ycatpuccino
The Culture
"420 culture (I say this as someone who smokes weed)."
eternalrefuge86
"I own a dispensary, a grow, and a processing lab so cannabis is essentially my life, and even I don't take it as seriously as some people. Some people are waaaay to into the culture like to a weirdly fake point where their whole personality is just I smoke weed look at me."
Cheap_Whereas_4803
"I can't stand people who treat smoking weed as their sole personality trait."
fxckfxckgames
Touchdown
Super Bowl Football GIF by Unlimited MovesGiphy"College football."
ham_wallet998
"Most religions preach some sort of hope. College football rarely gives me any of that."
HooliganBeav
Oh the things we worship.
Redditor redditusernameiforgo wanted to hear all the tea we sip about ourselves.
So they asked:
"What is the weirdest rumour you heard about yourself?"
A lot of my rumors were dull. I'm disappointed. Tell me yours.
Total
Freedom Feet GIF by HysteriaGiphy"That I had 6 toes. Not on one foot, but in total."
BioluminescentNewt
Bad Kiss
"Somebody spread a rumor that I purposefully gave their cat acid by making out with the cat while I had acid on my tongue. They claim their cat has never been the same. I have never french kissed a cat and I would never risk poisoning an animal."
bfraley9
"I notice you don't deny the acid though."
googlerex
Who?
"That my best friend and I had a threesome with this one dude in high school. Until the day I heard that rumor, I had no idea who that guy was."
julesdarula
"There was a rumor that I had sex with a random guy too! Apparently he was the one who started it. When I heard it, someone had to point him out to me because I’d never seen the kid before in my life… smh."
pahpahlahYou're Alive!
"That I was dead. I got in a bad car wreck in high school and an off duty nurse was first in the scene. She happened to have a white blanket to cover me up with because I was laying on the ground and it was cold. A classmate drove by and saw my car and a body under a white blanket. I missed the next day of school because I was too sore. When I came in the day after that everyone gasped and said they heard I had died in a car wreck."
Gunn_Show
WTF?
Season 17 What GIF by America's Got TalentGiphy"I got Shingles in 7th grade. I was taken out of school on 9/8/2001. Didn't come back for 2 weeks. Apparently, there was a rumor started that I was one of the pilots on 9/11. Kids are wild."
Therew0lf17
People have more imagination than they give themselves credit for.
Was it you?
Independence Day Happy 4Th Of July GIFGiphy"There was a rumor In my high school that I slept with all my friend's moms. Had several classmates who I didn't really know come up to me and with grave concern ask if I slept with their mother."
wittymoviereference
I love mom
"I killed my mother. This went around in high school. While I was in high school. Like somehow I was going to be there in class with them if this were remotely true. It kept me from getting bullied though. FYI I called my mom yesterday and sang happy birthday to her, so..."
Last-Place-Trophy
The Twin
"That I was a criminal with a warrant and needed to be in jail. Then the cops showed up because, low and behold, in the paper there was a person who looked f**king exactly like me with a warrant. Got cleared up real fast, but damn if I don't have a near identical twin jacka** out there."
KhaosElement
"My mom had frequent visits from the cops because a local petty criminal had the exact same first middle and last name as her. F**king rough being the good clone."
zairethorn
In French
"In school in Ireland a girl asked her ex about me because we were in the same class and in a bid to put her off he told her that I was French, that I wrote poetry, I payed chess and being half English I ate crumpets all the time."
"She still dated me and it made for very interesting conversation on our first date so it kinda backfired on him. What emo teen wouldn’t want to date a French guy who writes poems??"
Spooky_Cron
For Calamari?
octopus GIFGiphy"That I was breeding octopuses for their ink to use in my printer. Spread it myself though as a joke in school, but it caught on and the whole year below me believed it and even asked about it to my friends. Been a while ago but still makes me chuckle."
Theli-Abraxas-Nox
Oh gossip, it keeps fun alive.
What's the weirdest rumor you've ever heard? Let us know in the comments below.