People Break Down Which Lessons That Their Parents Taught Them That They Won't Pass On To Their Kids
Sometimes, the hardest part of being a parent is taking the things you hated and using them as lessons on what NOT to do.
Even the most loving and well-intentioned parents screw things up. But not every parent is loving as well-intentioned. One Reddit user asked:
So yeah... this is a pretty solid "What Not To Do" list.
That you need to hustle 100% of the time and be constantly busy with school/work, extra activities, side projects, cleaning etc. Spending time unwinding is a sign of laziness and boredom, and intelligent people are never bored.
This really messed me up and I'm still learning the art of wasting time. Don't get me wrong, I love laying in bed doing nothing but it usually comes with guilt that I could be more productive during this time. I'm still in the process of learning that rest is needed for a healthy and well functioning body and mind.
Stop When You're FullFull GIF by memecandy Giphy
Eat everything on their plate. I try to get my kids to make an effort to eat their meals, but I'm never going to punish them for not being hungry when I say so. Sometimes you start it and can't finish. Sometimes you just don't like it. Now if they keep saying they're hungry sometimes you gotta learn to take what you can get though.
My parents were Depression-era kids, so they were taught that wasting food is a sin. I guess it was back then. But now I am trained to clear my plate no matter how full I am. It has been an uphill struggle to not teach my kids to do that.
That crying is shameful
I'm trying to not teach mine this one. But I still feel REALLY ashamed when I cry. I'll say it's allergies rather than admit I'm crying. I HATE it if anybody sees me crying.
"I'll give you something to cry about" was common for me. I hate it, I hate it so much.
This. My father has always been well... mean. Then he will tell me to stop crying because it makes me look weak and I 'm stronger than that.
It really messes with me. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Even now as a grown adult struggle with embarrassment when I cry.
The "Awkward" Stuff
That sex, sexuality, drinking/partying, politics, money, spirituality are awkward things to discuss. I want my future kids to know facts and that if they are ever in trouble, I am a safe place for them. We don't have to talk about it if they don't want to, they'll be taught how to be safe, but they should also know that these subjects are a part of life and should not cause shame.
A Crush Shouldn't Hurt
"If a boy acts like a jerk, it means he likes you!"
First of all, he shouldn't be let off the hook for acting like a jerk. (Whether he's 5 or 105). Secondly, it teaches girls that abuse is okay, or that they should expect to be treated like crap (and that it's okay for them to be treated like crap.)
My daughter had a little boy that was picking on her and I was pissed. I asked her what would happen if Tati (her dad) pushed me off of the sidewalk or pulled my hair?
She said he wouldn't do that because he cares about me and that other little boys in the school are a lot nicer. That's damn right... you stay away from that little boy. That little boy is an a$hole and don't forget it. Oh! And at the start of the Coronavirus thing he was "blowing air" on her.
Oh my god this sh!t brought me into so many wired and some even abusive relationships. It actually taught me to choose the guys that were mean to me.. "because that must mean they like me right?"
Go Your Own Way
That i basically have to be a smaller version of them, believe exactly what they do and not think for myself and have my own opinion. If I have kids id let them be open minded and believe what they want
I'm not saying I'll let them do whatever they want regardless of it being stupid or dangerous or harmful. I fully intend to offer guidance to them and try to reason with them if I believe something they think is wrong. I'm just not going to punish or censor them.
I've seen so many parents disown or punish their kids for leaving their religion or coming out as gay and it hurts me man. When they get older I believe they have the right to have their own opinions
The "Wait" Isn't Worth Itmr bean waiting GIF Giphy
To wait until marriage.
You know they won't anyway. The best you can do is teach them to be safe and pray they do ok.
Same with a lot of things, actually. I know my daughter is going to have sex no matter what. I know she's going to try alcohol at some point. I know she's going to probably try pot. Her safety is my priority, so the sex talk is going to include how to stay safe, where the extra condoms are stashed, that it's perfectly okay to ask me any questions about sex (like, "x happened, is this normal?"), all about consent, etc. And about the effects of alcohol (based on science) and how to stay safe when drinking socially with friends.
Definitely would prefer if she didn't drink before 21, but if she's going to, might as well try to help her help herself not get absolutely shitfaced and possibly assaulted.
My mother celebrates her pettiness, and never misses an opportunity to take the low road or seek revenge. For example, she had a customer skip out on a $150 bill. My mom turned it into collections.
Years (and I mean yeeeeaaaaars) later, she was contacted by a debt management company looking to pay the $150 bill so the former customer could fix their credit to buy a house. My mom dodged the call for weeks ON PURPOSE just to be an a-hole and hold up the process.
She told me this story all proud and smug. I think she was expecting me to clap for her. I just stared in disbelief. My kid is being taught to show mercy when given the opportunity.
Being hypercritical. My parents were very critical of me about so many things. My grades, my performance in extra circular activities, even how I did chores. What was worse was that they would often compare me to others as well, and would only ever praise me when they were basically bragging to other people. An example that always stuck with me was when I had a part time job as a waiter in high school, and my dad would often scold me for wasting my time at a a useless job instead of focusing on school, and how I was just gonna end up being a bum just like my older brother. But then when he's talking to his friends he brags about how his youngest son is so hard working, he even has a part time job in high school!
It's this sort of hypercriticism is why I struggle a lot with self esteem and confidence. What's worse is that I find myself even being hypercritical of other people's behavior, like if they make a mistake or don't do something how I would've done. I don't snap like my dad would do, but I still find myself immediately getting annoyed. It's something I'm working on, and hope to never do to my future kids.
"You Make Me Hit You"
That a parent's feelings are more valid than the childs.
My mom did this once when I expressed to my dad that she constantly hurt my feelings. She came into my room after that since my dad had just tucked me into bed when I told him and she said and I quote, "I hurt your feelings? You hurt mine when *you make me* spank you or yell at you!"
Almost every time she spanked me (with what we call "The Board" which is basically a shaped piece of wood with a handle) it would be about me talking during church or playing with my friends in restaurants too loudly. She never said to quiet down, she'd say shut up/stop and threaten me with "licks" aka spanking me with "The Board". So I never felt like I could have fun as a child.
Basically, that's a trauma I'm still trying to get over. Though my confidence is getting better and I'm finally branching out and doing things by myself. (I say finally because I'm around 20 years old and have yet to ever have a job or adult properly.) I do still have trust issues and issues with feeling like how I feel is valid and okay but I'm working on it.
This might sound mean but to give to the homeless
My parents always gave their spare change to homeless people who would just use it for drugs or cigarettes. I think it's better to give them food.
We were poor growing up and I would have rather them saved the money for useful things for ourselves rather than have them give it to people who use it on drugs.
The Neighbor's Daughter
My dad, when I was like 13-14, says, "Son, the neighbor's daughter is ready for some sex education, get on it"... This is not something that helps you grow up to be in the proper mindset!
I know you guys are very curious... No, I didn't bang the neighbor's daughter!
An Intolerant Pot-Smoking Atheist
My parents were extremely old fashioned in a lot of ways. My dad was a proud, racist, homophobic man that had a problem with everyone that didn't think the same way as him.
His lifestyle and ideals projected to my mother, who is mentally unstable and easily manipulated. My dad passed away when I was 11 but one of the things that really pissed me off as an adult (aside from his hateful nature) is them teaching me that if people don't think the same way as me, then I couldn't associate with them because they were horrible people.
For example, I wasn't allowed to hang out with any kids that didn't believe in God. They didn't have to be committed to a religion - but if their faith wasn't in god, I couldn't be their friend cause they would be a bad influence on me.
I've abandoned all his teachings, but that one has always kind of stuck with me and I hate it. Now that I'm my own person, I feel like I still project that behavior onto others based on their political views or religious views, and it's still something I have to correct in myself even though I'm a (in my dad's words) pot smoking atheist now.
I Will Not Be A KarenRedhead Karen GIF by moodman Giphy
My mom is very manipulative and she keeps trying to teach me how to be the same way. When I refuse to do something bad she gets a bit mad at me.
Sorry mom! But I will never follow your Karen footsteps
Maintaining The Un-Fun Things
That you don't have to keep doing something if you don't feel like it. For example, when I was a child, my dad showed me all kinds of possible interests. Baseball, golf, cars, music, books, etc. Most of them I said "I don't feel like learning this any more" very early on. He was just like "okay". It worked out because I came around to find true interests in music and art, but i think It would be a good idea if there was just a bit more discipline imposed.
I'm not a parent yet, but I think maybe I would say: "You can't quit after three days. You're going to play for a season and stick it out. Then you can choose to quit. You'll learn plenty of lessons and maybe make some friends." (Of course that would change if they're traumatized or being bullied or something) It's important to learn that if you want to do something you need to stick things out when they're not fun. I still have a hard time knuckling down and getting to work unless I really feel like it.
I will have them do small chores as well. It doesn't have to be every week, they don't have to be punished or something. Teach them how to keep a clean house, how to maintain those un-fun things that are necessary in life. My first apartment in college became so messy. I remember not wanting to wash gross dishes and after a week I'd just throw them out. I had to learn on my own those seemingly simple things.
I suppose the thing they did best though was teach me how to learn. Learning is a bit of a skill. You need to be able to break down problems and identify obstacles. You need to be persistent and believe you can learn. If you have that skill plus some books or the internet, you can do anything.
These are super minor things, I had fantastic parents growing up, they were trusting, understanding, and never played head games or withheld love. If I was in trouble , they were mad, but I was still their child and loved. Come to think of it I was never in trouble much. My dad's dad used to use the belt, so he made sure to never hit me, I got time outs and groundings if I was really in trouble.
Feeling Weird About Religion
Religion, I guess. And I kind of feel a bit weird about it.
I grew up catholic but my parents were not militant about it. We went to church on Sundays, I went to Sunday school for a little while...but that was the extent of it. My parents never preached or made a big deal about it...they obviously believed in god and all that but we weren't living our lives for religion.
Then, two things happened: One day my mom was picking me up from high school and on the corner of the street were a ton of anti-abortionists on the holding graphic signs of aborted fetuses. My mom flipped out. My mom herself was mostly pro-life but she was absolutely livid that this group would expose kids to these really horrific images. I remember her getting out of the car and screaming at the top of her lungs at these people. She found out the people went to our church and we immediately stopped going.
The second thing was when my grandfather died and we had a traditional catholic service in the church. The entire service was all about god. They barely said a single thing about my grandfather or what type of a person he was...it was just about god and everything else fell by the way side.
After that I rarely heard my mom ever talk about religion. I'm not sure where she stood after that.
When my kid was born there was never any talk from her about getting my daughter baptized. Never any talk about religion, really. I think I remember her teaching my daughter about the manger scene she put out for Christmas but that was about it.
I don't necessarily have an opinion one way or the other about religion. I don't think it's a bad thing but I find it difficult to believe it. My wife and I feel conflicted about religion in general (wife's parents were a bit on the wacky spiritual side) and it's become one of those things we just don't even discuss.
My mom died last year so I'll never know what she really believed. Like I think if it was important to my mom we would have had our kid baptized for her but it really doesn't mean anything to me either way. I just don't see it being a big part of our lives and I'm still trying to determine what I actually believe myself.
Lifehacks, if applied properly, can really change the course of a single household chore.
Chores can really be such a pain to take care of, and nobody wants to do it. But with a little life hack under your belt, you might be able to turn chore time into something a little fun.
Here were some of those answers.
My Finger, The Glass
If your ring gets stuck on your finger windex will slide it right off. Worked at a jewelry store for five plus years.
You can also use any oil (cooking, automotive... anything).
You can also reduce the size of your hand (and finger) by holding it up in the air. Chilling your hand in cold water THEN holding it up in the air for a couple minutes whilst rubbing oil &/or dishwashing fluids in there... trifecta of ring removal.
Should work on anyone that just stole Sauron's prize - though biting it off also works, i suppose.
Use shaving cream as anti-fog. I used it on the inside of my motorcycle visor. Smear it on, let it dry, then rinse off and dry. It also works for bathroom mirrors. You can use it on a small spot so you can still see when you get out of the shower.
Shaving cream also removes the smell of urine. If you ever have to take care of someone who is old and/or sick and who wets the bed, a little shaving cream on a rag wiped over their buttocks after they are thoroughly cleaned up helps them really smell clean again.
It's a bit of a sad tip, I know, but you never know when you might end up caring for someone who needs help with things like this. Nobody wants to smell. A dab of shaving cream to restore a bit of dignity? Priceless.
Pretty Important For Stage Actors
Every male should know this. If you want to get rid of an awkward boner flex any muscle in your body maybe an arm. For a minute. The blood will rush to that muscle and away from your penis. Crisis averted.
These life hacks really don't seem real at all, but if you can swear by them, they can save your life.
Obligatory Poop Hack
I saw a comment on one of these kinda threads that recommended gently rocking back and forth while pooping. I've never had any problems in the bathroom, but I happened to be sitting on the toilet when I read the comment so I decided to give it a test drive. I was pleasantly surprised at how quick and effortless the whole experience was and I haven't gone back to my old stationary technique since. As a bonus, #1 and #2 now require the same amount of time in the bathroom!
It's The Alcohol
If you have funky armpits and need to fix them fast, use hand sanitiser. I figured this out years ago when I remembered that the smell comes from bacteria reactions - which antibacterial hand gel kills stone dead. Instant results and the medical smell lasts only a minute. Don't do this routinely though as it's delicate skin.
But Hopefully It's Just A Playing Puppy
True lifesaver: if you are ever attacked by a dog, push your forearm INTO the bite. This pries the jaws apart and prevents them from clamping down. If a dog is attacking you, the best thing you can do is offer your forearm, push as far back as possible, and then grab the dog by the scruff of its neck with your other hand to hold it. The dog is now functionally muzzled and you have control of its head. The sooner and harder you push into the bite, the less damage the bite will do.
Get It Off Anything
That rubbing alcohol removes chewing gum.
I'd go through a 20 layer deep marketing funnel to get to that tip because it really does work.
Also wow! Thank you for all of the awards nice Redditors. I completely forgot I left this comment and came back and my notifications had blown up.
And previously impossible situations will give way at long last.
Rubbing vegetable oil (or any cooking oil) on your hands after you cut up jalapeños or other hot peppers. It gets rid of the awfulness that would normally be left on your hands from the peppers. I rub my hands with oil and then wash it off with dish soap. I can totally remove my contacts after doing this. It's crazy how well this works.
Put your onion in the freezer for 10 minutes before chopping it. It freezes the juices just enough to slow down the process of it turning in to a gas, giving you a few minutes to chop the onion without tears. I learnt this tip from a kid's science show years ago and I haven't had to deal with onion tears since. So many people don't believe me, and then are genuinely surprised when it works.
Just A Quick Little Base
The cheapest, most effective, and safest insecticide against roaches (especially those huge "water bug" roaches that we have in the South) is a spray bottle of mostly water with just a little liquid dish soap in it.
Shake the bottle & get the water a little foamy, then spray the roaches. They will run, scrabble, and attempt escape, of course, but they will die. The soap film suffocates them faster than any chemicals will.
A friend told me about this, & I thought she was nuts, but I tried it & it works amazingly well. Plus it's very easy to clean up and safe around food (not that you want to spray soapy water ON your food).
Incorporating any of these lifehacks into your home may make a big difference. You'll never want to turn back.
Or you will, whatever. But they're worth a try!
Gamers Who Stream Live Share The Creepiest Thing They've Ever Heard Someone Say Into Their Mic While Playing
I'm not much of a gamer, but I have quite a few friends who are. I never fail to be unnerved by some of the stories they share about toxic personalities who give the gamer community a bad name. Did you know for example that women often have to deal with misogyny and abuse while playing online? Blatant sexism can turn something as simple as enjoying a videogame into an emotional minefield for women.
After Redditor TerribleVanilla3768 asked the online community, "Gamers of Reddit, what's the creepiest or scariest thing you've ever heard someone say into their mic?" people shared their stories.
Content warning: Some sensitive material ahead.
"Someone walked into their apartment..."
Playing WoW years ago (12 or so years ago when this happened) with long-time guildies. The raid leader was talking and giving instruction and then cut out with:
"What the f*** was that? Hey, who are..."
And then the mic went silent. 40 of us just sat there wondering what happened. No one knew the Raid leader in person (or where they lived), so we tried contacting Customer Service to report it. I don't remember what they/Blizzard did (it was like twelve years ago), but the Raid kind of fell apart that night. I think the cops did get sent because they eventually made it to the Raid Leader's apartment.
The next day, Raid Leader was on and apologized. Someone walked into their apartment and went into their bedroom. Turns out a senior neighbor (I think it was an older lady, but, again, 12 years) got "lost" and thought they were on their floor. They walked into the apartment (RL forgot to lock the door) and got startled in "their" bedroom when he shouted out. The Senior were very confused as to who this loud person was in their apartment but ended up feeding Raid Leader cookies (his own as it turned out) until the police came and sorted it out.
No charges and Raid Leader thought it was funny, and had a nice conversation with the other person and then the police walked them back to their own room and did a wellness check. I guess the senior was living with an adult child, but wandered off and got lost.
So it ended up being a happy story, but hearing your friend/associate get cut off in mid-speech and then going AFK/timing out of the game while shouting "who are you?" was the creepiest thing I overheard. Half of us were sure they just got jumped by someone, the other half thought it was a bad joke. I also was just a year out from my own B&E incident where I was held up at gunpoint and robbed, so I was having a bit of a panic attack too.
This is thankfully a bit more lighthearted than other stories here.
Dementia is no joke.
"I was doing a Destiny 2 raid..."
I was doing a Destiny 2 raid and a guy started violently beating his kids. Like we could hear the sound of a belt in the background and the screams of the children. He then came back and was all chipper like "All right, sorry for the noise, let's get back to it!" And all of us were dead silent.
"A few weeks later..."
Was playing Destiny 2 on PS4 a year ago, when I met some people from a clan. I wanted to do some raids so I joined.
A few weeks later one of the clan leaders told me, in a cold and absent voice that he once killed two people in an accident. He then proceeded that he now works in a warehouse, driving a stapler all day and that he constantly speeds, because people should pay attention where they walk and it's not his fault if they get run over.
I didn't play with them from then on and soon left the clan. I don't want to know what's going on in his head.
Mostly people threatening to come to my house and attack me.
One time on Siege, I was in a party with some folks I just met. A new guy joins, and he knows the girl in the party, her address, and starts texting her stuff like which room she's in. We dealt with it quickly.
Normal crap you hear being a chick on the internet. Lots sexual harassment, etc. I've gotten to the point where it doesn't even register in my head as anything but background noise.
The worst was probably when I was twelve, playing on my iPad. A guy on the text chat threatened to doxx me and followed me around the game world, right behind me, claiming we were "having sex". I just wanted to play a fun PvE zombie game, yo. Dipped pretty quick, couldn't sleep that night. Creeps online don't remember it in a week, but that f**** with me as a kid.
The fact that this is just the reality for so many women...
"It was 2008..."
It was 2008 and my Xbox 360 was brand new at the time and a birthday gift. I eagerly set everything up and the first game I decide to play was a pre-installed demo called Lost Planet: Extreme Conditions. For a demo, this allowed online team matches and headset usage. This was also the moment when my fellow players found out that I was a girl.
A guy with the username "KillaMan" messaged me almost immediately and pressed why a girl decided to play a game clearly made for guys. I forget exactly what I wrote, although I said as much as I'm there for the same reason everyone else was. Well, he kept on messaging me, only his messages turned into explicit ones about me "willing to do more than play a shooting game," among other things. I ignored them, then he went so far as to say that he could find out my home address no problem. Even if he was bluffing, I was still freaked out and decided to block and report him. His handle registered as non-existent when I went to look him up.
Weeks went by and I get a message from a gamer tag that sounded vaguely familiar. It was that guy again, but this time he was accusing me of reporting him and threatening me that I "needed to prove I was hot". I said no, then he came back and asked for naked pictures in return for an Xbox Live gold membership. I shouldn't have even entertained him, but I decided to play along. I replied to his message that if he was serious and the code was real, send it to me. If the code didn't work, he wasn't getting nudes.
Guy sends the code and it was legitimate. I thanked him and told him to stay by his email for his "surprise". Once again, I reported him to Xbox and blocked him for good measure. Never heard from him again.
"I was playing with my friend D..."
I was playing with my friend D. We were playing Minecraft with a couple of our other friends and D said something stupid and I told him to shut the hell up and he said, "Keep talking to me like that and I'll bring my Glock to school and take care of everybody who keeps bullying me starting with you."
We know he was joking but this happens a lot.
Does D know that this stuff is not funny?
"This one guy..."
This one guy told us about his "poop bucket" that he used when gaming for too long so he didn't have to go to the toilet.
And this wasn't in some random lobby, we were all part of the same gaming website and were pretty familiar with each other.
Still to this day I don't know if he was trolling or serious.
"Somebody tried talking to me..."
Somebody tried talking to me using my real name and city. To this day I have no idea how or why he doxxed me.
Sadly, there are some gamers out there...
...who seem intent on ruining things for the rest of the community. If you hear something, say something.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below!
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As horrifying as the Covid-19 pandemic has been, I can't help but marvel at the people who got through a bad bout of the virus and are still here with us today. The stories I have heard have unnerved me: Quite a few people I know honestly thought they were going to die before things got better. (That's the crazy thing about this virus––you could feel like hell for a while only to experience a major turn-around within 24 hours.)
After Redditor Rares asked the online community, "What is the worst 'I'm gonna die' situation you've been through? people shared their stories.
"In a particularly rough place of the river..."
I was canoeing with my dad when we were on holiday in France. In a particularly rough place of the river, another canoe bumped us and our boat went upside down. I got carried away by the current until a man pulled me out. To this day I am glad that the man was there, otherwise, I would not be here.
"That same year..."
I was kayaking with some friends down a familiar river but the water was much higher than usual. My boat got stuck sideways across a wave. I could move sideways across the wave but I didn't have the strength or skill to get out of either end. After two or three minutes I realised I had to capsize and swim. I was carried about 200m downstream before I could get out. Someone got my boat and paddle but I'd lost my shoes. I had to walk about a mile downstream barefoot to catch them up.
That same year I travelled to the French Alps to do some skiing. I had lessons and thought I was competent enough but on my last day, I found myself on a run that was too steep for me to handle. After falling multiple times I found the only way I could stop myself from going too fast was to fall again. It took me two hours to get down a slope that others were finishing in about five minutes. I kept having flashbacks to the kayaking incident. I kept thinking how stupid I was not to have learnt anything about keeping within my abilities.
"I got a viral infection..."
I got a viral infection that spread to my brain in 2019. By the time my sister got to me to get me to the hospital, I was blind and deaf and "feral" (bit my sister, she has a scar). Everyone at the hospital told her I would've died a few hours later, definitely wouldn't have made it through the night.
Now I'm a disabled amnesiac with chronic pain.
"Had to make an emergency roof repair..."
Had to make an emergency roof repair on my house during an ice storm. Slipped, slid towards the edge of what would have been a 30' fall onto concrete. Stopped with my feet off the edge.
This is terrifying.
To come so close to that and to be stopped in the nick of the time by some dumb luck!
"Remainder of their family..."
A person with a gun shoots and kills one neighbor. The remainder of their family runs to our house for protection. We all hunker down as the person with a gun tries to get into our house.
Hopefully the authorities arrived in time.
"Facing down my then wife..."
Facing down my then-wife who was armed with a 9mm handgun. She pulled the trigger and thankfully nothing happened. I took the gun away from her and she ran out of the place. Still don't know why the gun didn't fire. She ended up going to jail and I divorced her shortly thereafter.
Well, there's a happy ending to this one...
...I guess? Sorry you had to go through that.
"A woman was being assaulted..."
A woman was being assaulted outside of my apartment by what seemed to be a boyfriend or husband.
I went out to shout at the guy, and he turned his rage on me instead.
I was about 85% sure I was going to be shot or stabbed. Fortunately, he didn't, and he backed down when he noticed that a crow of concerned people had arrived, and everyone was on the phone with 911.
"When I was about 14..."
When I was about 14, my church went on a youth retreat to rebuild a church on the coast that had been devastated by a hurricane. On the Saturday night of the trip, we went to a bowling alley to finish the weekend on a high note.
I was with all my buddies, there were the "hot" girls in the youth group to be impressed. I had way too much soda and popcorn and was ready to light up the night. The church had rented a Chevy express 12-passenger van, the kind where the seatbelt for the middle row of seats crosses the doorway and you have to duck under it. Well, my idea was to get a running start and launch off of the step into the back seat of the van.
So I did it, and it went pretty well. I got a lot of momentum, and when I launched off the step of the van it was almost perfect. I had intended to go under the seatbelt of the van, but I missed. The seatbelt hit me on the chin, and my momentum forced it down, onto my neck. Feeling the pressure on my neck I panicked and slammed into the back of the second row. The impact flipped me over the seat, into the floorboard of the third row, and twisted the seatbelt behind my neck. I'm not a small kid so my arms were pinned and the more I tried to get them free the tighter the seatbelt got because it had locked due to the impact.
The elapsed time of what had happened was maybe 45 seconds, and the youth leader was still inside paying for the rest of what the group owed. It took about five minutes for a kid to realize that I was actually struggling, and run inside to get him. He ended up cutting the seatbelt with his pocket knife and I am convinced that he saved my life.
"I don't know why I never told her..."
When I was a kid, my mom was a single parent and had awful taste in men. This one, in particular, was a drunk, at all hours of the day.
One day, he was babysitting us while my mom was at work and took us to the local park/lake to swim. About 3 hours go by with my sister and me having fun in the lake but we were tired and hungry and wanted to go home.
The guy had been sitting under a tree the whole afternoon with one of those one-gallon igloo coolers that he said was water, and was "sleeping." When we got out to tell him we wanted to go home, he didn't wake up. It took probably half an hour to shake him out of his alcoholic coma, and then my sister and I (about 4 and 8) had to get him up a very steep hill to the parking lot. He wasn't exactly a large man, but we were little, and pushing a grown man up a hill who keeps stumbling back down was not easy.
Finally, we make it to the car. That was when I realized we were in trouble. He actually got into the car and drove us home, and I use that word lightly... We were on sidewalks and people's front yards more than on the road. I was terrified and kept begging him just to stop, but he ignored me. How we made it home without crashing or being seen by police is anyone's guess. The worst part was that to this day, my mom doesn't know about this event. I don't know why I never told her... Maybe I thought I'd be in trouble. But I was a much more timid child after that.
"My scariest situation..."
My scariest situation was when I was about six. My family and I were at a camping site in a forest. I decided to go a little further and I started getting chased by three stray dogs, but I managed to get back to my parents safely.
Everyone you meet has a story.
You really do not know what other people have been through unless you ask. The resilience of the people around you might surprise you.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below!
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It isn't always the case, but for many couples who go on to become married partners, there was a moment when it became clear and obvious that the other was their soulmate.
Like a lightning bolt out of a clear sky, the realization strikes and the truth feels inarguable: that person is who you want to spend your life with.
And while the epiphany is common, the specific circumstances around it are as various as the many couples who experience it.
Some Redditors shared their versions of that story.
For some people, the moment came when they observed their partner demonstrate an act of service.
There was something about the way they couldn't help but act, that their whole essence seemed to become obvious--and something their partner never wanted to let go of.
A Gentle Soul
"We were out swimming at the lake, and there was a ladybug in the water. He carefully picked it up and let it sit on his shoulder until it was dry enough to fly away."
"I've never met anyone who was so gentle with animals - his dog, my parents' diabetic cat who needed shots, friends' cats and dogs."
"We had fish at a restaurant for dinner. Didn't sit well with me and by the time we were back at his apartment my stomach and bowels were raging."
"I was so embarrassed that I was spending half the evening in his bathroom so he told me about the time he accidentally sh** himself at a 7-11. Keeper."
"My then-boyfriend and I had taken my wheelchair bound brother to dinner and a movie. When we got home I went to use the bathroom before going through the routine of getting my brother changed, meds, and into bed."
"I came out of the bathroom to him getting my brother out of the chair and onto the bed to change, all the while hilarious 'messing up' to make my brother laugh hysterically. I came right in to help but boyfriend shooed me away to do it all himself."
"It took triple the time but they were both in stitches, turning a usually admittedly mundane routine into a ton of fun. We'll have been married eleven years on the 22nd of this month."
Just a Look
"I had appendicitis. I had just come round from surgery and my mum, dad and now husband were there. We had been friends for years and had just started seeing each other. Both still very worried in case it went wrong."
"Well I was still groggy from the anaesthetic, but it was a womens only ward so they couldn't stay. But I didn't want him to leave. I was so afraid. No idea why, maybe the drugs idk. The look on his face as they led him out broke my heart."
"That's when I knew that man would always be there for me. I mouthed 'I love you' for the first time as he walked away. Been together 7 years now and married for 4. I love that man."
Other people experienced the epiphany when an interpersonal interaction took on a whole new weight, and they realized this was the person they wanted to always be with.
Time Passing Invisibly
"When our first phone call lasted over 8 hours. We both had so much to share with one another."
"I flew out to see him within a month. I quit my job of 11 years and moved to his city the following month. We have been together almost 9 years now, and he's still my favorite person to talk to."
When Even the Bad is Good
"We were at a low moment. Lots of bickering and stupid fights. I was still making her lunch every morning before she went to grad school, but it was a rough time in our relationship."
"And then I realized I never wanted to be fighting with anyone else. I wanted to work through our problems and spend my life with her. So we did, we've got two kids, and life is really good."
"All relationships have crisis moments. Find someone worth getting through those moments."
Another Side of Her
"My wife is a 'strong independent woman who don't need no man' Which I personally love how she wants to do and think for herself. But this also means she has lots of walls and won't let anyone in and always has to be a badass at all times."
"But in private I can make her blush and smile at will. It's a side of her nobody knows about but me, and I love it."
The Only Place
"My then-girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch one evening just talking. I don't even remember what we were talking about, probably something stupid, but I was struck by the sudden realization that there was no place I'd rather be."
"Just being with her, talking about serious topics or nothing at all, is perfect, and there's no place I'd rather be than with her."
Others, however, pushed back on the prompt.
They explained that, for them, there was no single moment. Rather, there was a slow build until they knew they were with the perfect person.
"I realized I had found my person when I started noticing changes in myself. I was more confident, happy, relaxed, and so on." -- Mamacourtney
"My boyfriend has chronic health problems and thus has a lot of bad mood moments in relation. But other than that? He's constantly happy, smiling, confident, and it makes me happy knowing that I've given him an environment that keeps his constant emotion happiness, with his health sprinkling in the rain cloud moods." -- Tomoyo_in_Transwise
A Partner, In Every Sense of the Word
"I hear this question a lot, and I never have an answer. Because I think one day you just come to the realization that living any part of your life without them would be awful."
"I got married not because I was madly in love but because I wanted her to experience all of life's highs and lows with me. I wanted to watch her succeed and grow as a person. I don't believe in soul mates, but I do believe in making a relationship work because it brings you joy."
For all you single people hankering for this feeling, trust that one day it will come your way. And for all those who have such a moment in their own biography, maybe today's a good day to reminisce about it with your partner.
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