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People Break Down Which Illegal Things They Did Regularly Without Realizing They Were Actually Against The Law

People Break Down Which Illegal Things They Did Regularly Without Realizing They Were Actually Against The Law
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Growing up, lots of us had parents who would tell us that driving with the cabin light on at night was illegal. In most places, it isn't. Those same parents then neglected to tell us about a whole bunch of stuff we might be into was technically the wrong side of legal.

Yeah, there are a lot of laws about sex so you're probably out here being a criminal not even knowing it.


One Reddit user asked

What's an illegal thing you used to do on a regular basis without knowing it was illegal to begin with?

And it turns out it's much more than just the bedroom where there people are unknowingly breaking the law.

The Chinese Lady In The Chicken Shop

Chicken Omg GIF by reactionseditorGiphy

When I was a kid I thought it was normal that we could buy movies the day after they came out from the Chinese lady in the chicken shop. I didn't realize it was a crime until middle school when I told someone my grandma had Avatar on DVD and they said that was impossible since the movie was still in theaters. Chinese lady was a real professional she knew how to get a good video.

- Western-Results8780

The Neighbor's Yard

Trespassing. As a kid (think 6, 7) my younger brother and I would go over into our neighbor's yard (he had a fantastic garden) and play quietly. He never said anything; he was a WWII vet and lived alone. I guess we amused him.

When he died, a new family moved into the house. We continued our ventures into the yard and the family must've found out, because we walked over one day to be met with a locked fence. Our days of playtime were over.

Apparently he lived alone because he had disowned his son for being gay, and once his wife died he stopped coming around. When he was dying my dad and mom visited him because no one else was. He was delirious and thought my dad was his son and started apologizing and saying he should've been a better dad.

The son in question never showed up to visit - but when he came to the neighborhood to look at the house, my dad told him what his father had said. He broke down sobbing.

I guess we were like the grandchildren he never had. Either way this whole story was more depressing than I thought so I'm going to grab some tissues.

- _theaidreader13_

Olive Samples

I used to think the little olive kiosks in grocery stores were samples. I would always leave with a little produce bag of various olives and enjoy my treat on the ride home. I had odd tastes as a kid.

- menstrually-unstable

Yellowstone

Until I saw the sign posted as I exited Yellowstone National Park, I was unaware that it's illegal to make elk noises at the elk!

I'd been riding around on my motorcycle making elk noises all week! They love it. They all look up and stare at you as you ride past.

- cortechthrowaway

Piracy As A Business Model

I once had this coworker that was always coming up with hair-brained business schemes. One day he comes in and start going on this rant about how he's going to become a millionaire.

He explains that he recently purchased like 10,000 SD cards from China, and he got a card reader for them. They cost like $0.50 each or something, and he's all like "But they can hold up to 10 GB of data each! That's enough for like four movies, and I can sell them for like $20 each!"

He goes on to talk about the incredible margins his new business is going to have, and how he just needs to earn back enough so he can afford to upgrade to a "multi card reader." Also, his big plan was to put this stuff on "my Myspace" and then mail the cards to people.

At this point I'm feeling bad for the guy since he's obviously already dumped $$$ into this, but figured it's better for him to lose that than land himself in prison. So I'm like, "dude, you realize that's illegal right? You're going to get FBI coming after you for movie piracy."

The look on his face, just like, completely defeated. Felt sorry for him, but seriously?

- eblingdp

Is The Silverware Sanitary

As a teen living in the US, (Utah to be specific), and I was really questioning the sanitation of the utensils in the high school cafeteria. So I was carrying a multi-purpose tool with me that had a fork and a spoon on it.

However, I wasn't aware that it had a fully functional blade on it, 3 and 3/4 inches to be precise.

Oops.

- SilentTempestLord

Do Not Touch The Art

art glitch GIF by G1ft3dGiphy

Had a friend who liked to touch all the paintings in museums. She had been doing this her whole life, thought it was totally normal, and had just happened never to get caught. She did not believe me when I told her that you aren't allowed to.

We got kicked out of the museum.

Or rather, she got kicked out and I left with her. She walked down a row of paintings and dragged her hand across every one of them. A pretty pissed off looking guard asked her to "please leave."

No dramatic scene or anything, probably could have stayed if she'd explained that she really didn't know but she was pretty embarrassed by the whole thing so we just hustled out.

- gayvoter97

Forging

Forging signatures.

When I was younger because my mom wouldn't sign something or didn't have the time. It looked exactly the same too... By younger I mean 8.

- Interrogator999

Missed That Sign

Back when my ex was a barista at Starbucks I would drive her to work every day at 4AM and take a specific route.

Thought nothing of it and the route became muscle memory.

One day she asks me to pick her up early and I take the usual route. After I make a right turn on a red light (perfectly legal in the US) I suddenly get those dreaded lights behind me.

The police officer came up to my window and asked for my credentials. Fine...I thought. I considered myself a very competent driver up to this point and had never gotten into a crash or so much as a ticket.

She comes back and the conversation went something like this:

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?


Me: (annoyed) no.

Officer: Do you realize that turn you made back there was illegal?

Me: Last time I checked it was legal to turn right on red, no?

Officer: Sure, but there's obviously a sign that says that you can't do it at that specific intersection.

Me: Impossible... I've been taking that turn every day for the past 6 months...

Officer: ........

Sure enough after the officer gave me the "are you f***ing serious" look along with my ticket I drove back to the intersection and every traffic light had a "Do Not Turn On Red" sign on it.

I totally deserved that ticket lol...

- Serious-Candidate

Rail Yard Police

I make a lot of things out of wood and metal.

I didn't know how aggressive rail yards can be about their sh!t. A few times in my life I've found railroad spikes partially buried in pebbles up to ten feet away from the track, and I've taken those to make knives and jewelry with.

Turns out they do not like it when people take their rusted, busted junk that they leave to the elements.

- Wrylis

Dude Just Wanted The Shady Spot

Fishing without a license.

Had a male Karen accost me over not having a fishing license a few months ago. I had no idea that was an actual thing or that it mattered for catch-and-release ponds.

He basically threatened to call the cops on my friends and I because we didn't have fishing licenses so we had to stop fishing and leave.

Keep in mind, this was a large catch-and-release pond with a nature center that you could rent poles from and buy that shitty green marshmallow bait. The dude just wanted the shady spot where you could catch bass to himself.

- MrLionOtterBearClown

Boating and Entering

Back when I was in sixth grade my friend (who was older than me) and I went to a boat marina in the parking lot where all the boats were stored cause it was winter time . The boats would be covered by a white plastic seal material and we would unzip them and go inside peoples boats cabin.

I never knew it was illegal.

- idkmanecat

The Wrong Flashlight

Owning the wrong type of flashlight.

Around 25 years ago i was looking for a flashlight and found a good one at a store specializing in camping and hunting goods. Since it came with a mounting bracket the salesperson pointed out that (here in germany) attaching a flashlight to a firearm is illegal. I don't even own any firearms, so i didn't care much and put the light in my toolbox.

A few years later i found out that the actual wording of the law states that a "flashlight designed to be attached to a weapon" is an illegal item and just owning the light and the bracket can be considered a crime.

- Dr_Allcome

Everybody's Yards

Trespassing. When I was a kid, literally the entire neighborhood was my playground. I was all up in EVERYBODIES yards. Frontyards, backyards. I would run around with my crazy imagination and fight all kinds of armies and monsters and dragons, aliens, zombies, demons. I would pick up any rock in anyones yard I thought looked cool and bring it back to my own collection. I climbed every tree around, ate from this one guys orange tree, and even made orange juice a few times. Played in all of the ditches, and climbed through all of the giant piles of tree clippings anytime someone trimmed a tree

But I also made friends with every kid around, and was invited into all of their houses to play video games. My childhood was wild.

- raemnant

Hitting The Highway

I grew up in a rural Appalachian area, We would ride our dirt bikes on the highway all the time. Usually just a few miles to the next dirt road - but it never occurred to us that a 13 yr old riding on the highway with no drivers license no insurance and no license plate was against the law. Not until the new state trooper assigned to the three counties started chasing us.

The sheriffs department only had one deputy and they just waved at us. As long as you weren't doing wheelies on the wrong side of the highway or something they didn't care.

- SnooHabits8041

As Far As Authorities Are Concerned

I used to catch mice in a little box in the shop I worked at and would release them outside. We had poison down and glue traps but never caught anything and I felt this was more humane (I would take them to a little park nearby)

It wasn't until a few months after doing this that a park warden told me they were vermin and it was illegal to catch and release that I realized. I checked and in the city I live in, yes it is considered illegal.

I also used to mod and paint Nerf guns so they resembled firearms for Cosplay purposes, they were non working and rendered safe props but painting them black is a no-no as far as the Metropolitan Police are concerned.

- Glith_in_the_Pink

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Unsettling Unsolved Mysteries

Reddit user Shafiq09 asked: 'what is the most unsettling unsolved mystery that you're aware of?

There are some great mysteries in this world that will most likely never be solved in our lifetime.

What happens after we die? Who really built Stonehenge? Are there other lifeforms in outer space?

The fact that these not only will, but as of now, CAN never be solved is what fascinates us most.

There are other unsolved mysteries, however, which we view with far more sadness than we do fascination.

Owing to the fact that these mysteries could have, or even still can, be solved but for whatever reason, remain unsolved.

Redditor Shafiq09 was curious to hear the most disturbing and unsettling unsolved mysteries that may never be solved, leading them to ask:

"What is the most unsettling unsolved mystery that you're aware of?"

Missing Accomplice

"This guy broke into a house, killed the single mom, mom's friend, the son, the family dog, and kidnapped the teenage daughter."

"Dismembered the bodies and hid them."

"The girl didn't need to testify in his trial (he pled guilty), but read a letter during his sentencing saying that she knows he had help disposing of the bodies of her family because while she was still tied up in their house, she heard him making phone calls and heard at least one other person show up."

"She heard this person(s) talking, walking around and helping him with the bodies."

"Local pd & prosectutor just wanted a quick & easy trial and conviction, so they swept a lot of details under the rug & the girl's claim in court that this guy had help was very quickly forgotten."- ZormkidFrobozz

9 Mysterious Years...

"The disappearance (and short-lived reappearance) of Johnny Gosch."

"He disappeared one day while delivering newspapers."

"Police did very little to try to solve the crime."

"Nine years later his mother reports that Johnny showed up on her doorstep and explains that he had been held in slavery for the last 9 years."

"Authorities basically say she's making it up and have done no investigating."- in-a-microbus

Gross

"Someone keep sh*tting in the holes at the local golf course."

"Been going on for the last twenty years bastard has never been caught."- Odd_Associate8272

Never Came Home

"Old neighbours of ours had their 18-year-old daughter disappear."

"She left work one evening and never made it home."

"No body was ever found either."

"I heard the police have a suspect but not enough evidence to do anything more."- AmigaBob

Long Day At The Beach

"The Beamont children, three young siblings that disappeared in 1966 from Glenelg Beach."- homlessoverland

In The Middle Of The Night...

"Another one is of the Springfield three."

"A woman, her daughter and daughter's friend went missing from their home in the middle of the night with no signs of struggle or major evidence left behind."

"It's been so long since it happened so the chances of this case ever being solved is meager."- epilogueteen

So many Questions...

"One night my husband and I woke up hearing a woman screaming, 'Help me!' "

"He rushed to the window (we’re on the second floor) and saw a car drive past with a woman in a dress hanging on the hood."

"The car sped through the intersection by our place and careened off with her screaming on it."

"We called the police and told them which way it was going and then jumped on our bicycles and rode around the neighborhood to see if she’d fallen off."

"Never found her."

"Never found any news of her."

"I’ve always wondered what happened to her."

"That was over a decade ago."- 2manybirds23

Mysteries of Biology...

"At what point did the brain realize its own consciousness?"

"I find it fascinating."- KinOuttaHer

Paying For Religious Freedom...

"How Scientology still has tax-free status in the USA."- sqoo-5900

And, For That Matter, What Made Them Start?

"Why did the Zodiac Killer and Jack the Ripper stop killing?"

"They were never caught. They could have kept at it."

"So what made them stop?"- AggressiveOkra

Twinkle Twinkle

"I can't remember exactly what star it was, but there was a star deep in space that astrophysicists saw as relatively unremarkable."

"Just another star they were monitoring."

"Anyway, one day, all was normal, it was in the correct position."

"The next day, they were monitoring all the stars, and this one star had just disappeared."

"Poof."

"No one could figure out why. It could have been that it went supernova, but if it had, they would have seen the residue and the massive explosion, plus all the gaseous residue."


"So it can't have gone bang."

"They also hypothesized that maybe a civilisation had constructed a Dyson sphere (a large construction made to harvest all of a stars potential energy), but if so, it would have been more than likely that we would have seen the star slowly disappear, the light fading as the civilization constructed the Dyson sphere."

"Now, of course, according to the Kardashev scale, there could well be a civilization so advanced that they could have just constructed the entire sphere in a matter of seconds, but we'll never know."

"On that subject, that same civilization could have just absorbed the star instantly to use its power."

"They thought that maybe, other extrasolar objects were just blocking its view somehow, so they continued to monitor its location."

"It never came back."

"Somewhere, out there, a star just miraculously disappeared without a trace."

"And we will never know how or why."

"That's what's so disturbing to me."

"We have such amazing technology to monitor objects millions of light years away, yet we cannot figure out why a star just disappeared without a trace."

"And we may never know."- TheoCross3

No Justice For Their Families

"I have three I'm very invested in."

"One, who murdered Joseph Zarelli (aka the Philadelphia boy formerly known as the 'Boy in the Box')."

"Two, what happened to missing Oklahoma teenagers Ashley Freeman and Lauria Bible and who murdered the rest of the Freeman family."

"And three, who murdered the Short family of Henry County, Virginia."- arcana07

The truth behind these mysteries is out there somewhere.

Whether anyone will find it, however, is also a mystery that may never be solved.


Sometimes, a person can be mature and intelligent and still have some thoughts or theories that are truly stupid. And sometimes, that person says something truly stupid out loud.

It usually makes for a funny memory.

When I was in middle school, a group of my friends were talking about a movie that had just come out and where it was filmed. One boy said it was filmed in New York. A girl's response made all of us cringe:

"That movie wasn't filmed in New York, it was filmed in Manhattan."

When someone told her Manhattan was in New York, she didn't believe it and insisted that was not true! Four years later, she graduated third in our class. Guess she eventually figured it out.

Redditors know people who have said truly dumb things out loud as well, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor A_Lice_in_Wonderland asked:

"What is the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

First Time For Everything

"“Well she never got pregnant before,” after his girlfriend got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection."

– tuotone75

"I've never died before so I won't ever."

– Rakgul

"Should’ve checked to see if there was a history of pregnancy in the family."

– hogliterature

Time Difference

"I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school."

– Gambit_Finale

"I have a similar one. Had to explain to someone that 0:90 on the microwave was the same as 1:30. They kept insisting 1:30 was more, and that I was crazy."

– Atheist_Alex_C

Where Does Our Food Come From?

"That there's no difference between turkey and ham because "they both come from birds."

"I guess pigs really do fly in their world."

– JustForKicks36

"I had a friend in college who asked me very seriously, "so if beef comes from cows, and pork comes from pigs, what animal does chicken come from?""

– not_ur_avg

And When Does It Come Back?

"“How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”"

– Bright_Ad_2848

"Average "Hay Day"-player."

– The-One-Winged-Angel

"Making hamburgers is not an outpatient procedure."

– tritium_awesome

This Is The Real World

"A new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work:"

""How long do we get off for spring break?""

– TrailerParkPrepper

"Oh welcome to real life you poor child."

– Bucksin06

Poor Guy

"This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta."

"Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks."

"Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?"

"Him : Mac and Cheese."

"Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?"

"Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese."

– highfivesforgod

Not How It Works

"If you drink a coke & then a diet coke, the sugar cancels out."

– ScribblingOff87

With Magic, Sure

"I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue."

– MrLambNugget

Yikes!

"Friend and his girlfriend were over. Watching some TV when an ad for an Anne Frank documentary comes on."

"GF: "oh, wasn't she like Hitler's daughter or something?" The room became very quiet for awhile."

– 1WaldoJeffers1

"I guess it's "or something""

– candangoek

"A moment of silence for a dumb friend."

– sunpies33

*Cringes*

"The question right above this in my feed is: “Why’s a square called a square when it has six sides and eight corners?”"

"The sub was NoStupidQuestions"

– 12345_PIZZA

"The premise of the sub has been disproven. Time to shut it down."

– cbusalex

""Sir, that's called a cube.""

ThisWasAValidName

It Never Did

"“What year did this happen?”"

"We were watching The Lord of the Rings."

– OverTheCandlestik

Not The Lakes

"I was in seventh grade history and the teacher asked a student which ocean Christopher Columbus crossed to get to America. She said she didn’t know and the teacher replied by asking “how many oceans can you name? It’s gonna be one of them.""

"The girl thinks for a moment and says “Lake Champlain… Lake Geo-""

"The teacher cut her off by saying “if it has the word lake in it, it’s probably not an ocean.”"

– thecrimsonf**kr23830

The Whole Country Does

"Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver"

""Do y'all take American Dollars?""

"The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said"

""You're in America.""

– revjor

​Coffee Conundrums 

"When I worked at Starbucks it was frequent question from customers to explain the difference between a hot and an iced drink…"

– Real_Pea5921

"I work at Starbucks, holy sh*t our customers are a different breed."

"I had one lady ask why her drink had so many small bits of ice in it when she wanted it blended."

"I have had more than one person ask for hot coffees but iced and vise versa."

"I've had people ask if cold brew was/could be made hot."

"The list with Starbucks customers goes on and on..."

– PanPenguinGirl

"Can I get hot coffee cold? No I don’t want cold coffee! I want hot coffee but cold!"

– Surviving2

...Well, Yeah

"I heard a similar story about someone who had driven across border from the U.S. to Canada."

"To paraphrase: "They checked my ID and inspected my entire car! It was like I was entering a foreign country!""

– anfrind

Oh My Lord...

Enough said.

Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comment below.

Photo of a clipboard with an empty resume, lying next to an Apple Macbook
Photo by Markus Winkler

How can we make money by barely breaking a sweat?

Inquiring minds want to know.

If it's not about a career but just cashing a check, let's make it easy.

Nobody wants to work hard labor for nothing.

If it's for almost nothing, then I should be able to nap while I'm there.

Actually, there's a job that pay pretty well that let's you do exactly that!

Redditor Ubarberet wanted to hear about the jobs where we can collect a check for basically not working, so they asked:

"What job pays you to do literally nothing?"

I will be getting a pen and paper and writing down all of these suggestions.

More money, less work?

I'm in.

Night. Night.

Donald Duck Sleeping GIFGiphy

"Professional sleeper. You’re hired by mattress and blanket companies to test their latest products before they go commercial."

FakeEnglishmen47

Third Shift

"3rd shift security guard. Easiest s**t ever. Just don't get caught sleeping."

StraightsJacket

"What you're saying is if you want to rob a place, make sure it's during 3rd shift."

lovetyrannicalreddit

"The pros already know this. But scout your location cuz the grave guys aren’t the ones you want catching you."

"Think of it this way; dayshift security is like the crew of a cruise ship (more customer service oriented), graveshift are your old school privateers (pirates). Some have an eye patch, a limp, a penchant for violence, and you don’t want them catching you alone on the open water."

luda60

Not a bad gig...

"Knew a guy who worked at a general electronics place. He was a typical retail dude but got promoted to be a 'repairman' in the back. He got no extra training and was just told to do what he could and if he couldn't fix it then refer them elsewhere. He didn't know sh*t about repairs. He would be on his phone most of the day and when someone brought him a broken phone he'd try to turn it on, if it didn't work he handed it back. He spent most of his time on his phone in the back. Not a bad gig.

Nollypasda

Just There

"I was the white guy for a company in South East Asia. I had no job responsibilities. Just turn up and sit at my desk and Reddit all day. Occasionally I’d put a suit on and go to the owner’s fancy meetings in restaurants, and not say a thing. Or turn up at some building project. I mostly took Xanax and slept on my desk or snuck over to the bar next door."

RonaldTheGiraffe

Bored

Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"My last job. technically I got to send faxes and open the mail, but that was an hour of work tops. It was mostly watching YouTube and being bored out of my mind."

disregardable

People still send faxes?

I haven't seen a fax machine since the aughts.

Abysmal

GIF by Young ThugGiphy

"Firefighter at a rural, but paid, department. Most of my day is napping or binge-watching stuff on my laptop. The pay is abysmal though."

dietcoketm

Who?

"Security guard for a nonfamous rich person's house."

glencoaMan

"Had an unofficial gig doing house sitting for a rich friend of a relative. Was paid decent money to live on the property, and walk around the land a couple of times a day. Dead quiet at night and a pretty big space with no one else, so I can't really say it was relaxing."

reverze1901

Light Delivery

"A friend of mine is a 'concierge' in an up-market, small-build apartment block in a leafy suburb. He said the most he usually has to do is take in people's mail/parcel delivery or help older residents if they need to move furniture, etc. (and he said that in itself is quite rare). He mainly sits in a cushy office and listens to music/watches movies."

Nefilim777

5 to 30 minutes of pretending...

"Professional white man. In China, I had a side gig to be a white guy at various places. I would just pretend to be working for a company when tours and investors came through. I guess a Chinese company looks more successful if there is a white person. Then there was the sitting on the stage looking important during inevitable presentations."

"No actual work, just 5 to 30 minutes of pretending during a workday. Other than that you do what you want. Just be well-groomed and well-dressed. Sometimes I was told to be on the phone pretending to be making an important deal. Got business cards and everything."

mrhoof

Get that bag, Nana...

"The last time I was at Walmart, there were old people sitting in chairs by the gardening exit, presumably to check receipts or stop shoplifters. But company policy is not to try to stop shoplifters, it is dangerous. So they were all just sitting in their chairs and playing on their phones. I was like, 'Get that bag, Nana. You... deserve to play Candy Crush on the billionaire dime!'"

Comments_Wyoming

Spooky Spooks

Gonna Die Black Metal GIF by KiszkiloszkiGiphy

"Graveyard security. 90% of the job is downtime, 9% is 'Move along, sir' and 1% 'HOLY F**KING S**T!!!'"

WhichWhereas1879

I don't care how boring, quiet or easy it is... I am not working ANY Graveyard shifts in a damn graveyard.

No thank you.

When it comes to the dating scene, we all know there are going to be rough moments, from awkward dates to being ghosted to heart-shattering breakups. But the thing everyone hopes will never happen is to be cheated on.

After all, if someone has the intention or inclination to cheat, why would they choose to date at all?

Already cringing at the thought, Redditor newlymoneyedrapper asked:

"What is the worst excuse you've heard from someone who cheated?"

Not 'Meant' for Monogamy

"When they get caught, they try to play the 'humans aren't meant to be monogamous' card."

"I'm like, 'If you don't believe in monogamy, why did you even marry in the first place only to cheat later? You could join a free love hippies commune at any time. But that's not what you did...'"

- fepivo6620

Coming Out as Polyamorous

"I know a girl that cheated, and when she was inevitably caught, said she was 'coming out' as polyamorous."

"She was dead serious and fully expected our support and everything."

- fxckfxckgames

"The difference between polyamory and cheating is informed mutual consent among all parties."

"It's not a sexual orientation, you can't just 'come out' as polyamorous. It's something your partner(s) have to know about and (willingly, not coerced) agree to. Otherwise, you're cheating and making excuses for your s**tty behavior."

- spla_ar42

"Lmao (laughing my a** off), get out of here. Actual poly people would know how important communication is beforehand."

"I would have laughed in her stupid, cheating face."

- kosherkitties

So, Grief Is An Aphrodisiac Now?

"She said, 'It was the anniversary of my cousin's death and I wasn't in my right mind. You know how upset I was. Blaming me is classic victim blaming. You should be COMFORTING me!'"

"This was AFTER I offered to stay with her for the night but she said she wanted to be alone."

"I wish I could say I immediately left her, but it took two months and a second cheating incident. That time she said she was upset over a bad grade (seriously)."

"I walked away. And I blocked her. The bizarre part is how she kept trying to contact me for four years after that. She even confronted me in the parking lot on my first day of work, begging me to take her back. Why f**k around so indiscriminately if you want to be with someone?"

"Anyway, I stopped trying to figure her out long ago."

"It was my first relationship (age 15 to 18), and I was a naive fool."

"I'm not jaded now, but I know a h**l of a lot better."

- midnightsonofab***h

"I am sure her cousin would have been very proud of her using his death as an excuse to cheat and then call herself the victim."

- Acceptable-Stay-3166

Everyone Hates Mercury Retrograde

"My ex was very into astrology. She cheated and later blamed the great American eclipse of August 2017."

- henoney389

"SORRY I KEYED YOUR CAR, LOL (LAUGHING OUT LOUD). I'M SUCH AN ASPARAGUS."

- Skwerilleee

"I think you mean the MOON is in GATORADE."

- Zmb7elwa

So Sweet of them

"'I didn’t even enjoy it, because I was thinking about you the whole time, and I felt terrible.”

- fepivo6620

Those Undeniable Needs

"He said, 'You were at the hospital for two weeks. A man has needs."

- Wichita_Falls_Texas

"My girlfriend had a contagious skin infection for several months, and the post-infection management was even longer. We put off sex for about a whole year, and not once did thoughts of cheating occur to me."

"I’m sorry you had to endure that. Not all men are like him."

- Expensive_Presence_4

Growing the Family, and the Relationship

"They said, 'My wife was pregnant, so I wasn't getting any.'"

- tefama5759

"If I remember correctly, pregnancy is the time or one of the times when women are cheated on the most."

- RBNrando

"This breaks my heart."

- LoreGeek

At Least It Didn't "Matter"

"They said, 'It’s not like it meant anything.' Oh good, glad we cleared that up."

- fepivo6620

"Yet you threw our relationship away over it. So what I'm hearing is I mean less than nothing to you."

- LeRuseRenard

Increased... Appreciation

"He really said, 'I’m just on Tinder to confirm that there’s nothing better out there. It helps me appreciate you more.'"

- tivige8195

Getting a Jump on Things

"My previous partner told me that he cheated because he insisted that he 'thought I was going to break up with him anyways,' so he started seeing other women."

"I believe this was just another one of his manipulation tactics to put the blame on ME for his actions. To this day, I cannot fathom the mental gymnastics he had to do to justify his decisions... Lol (laughing out loud)."

- cuteemogirlfriend

"I wonder if he's familiar with the term 'self-fulfilling prophecy'?"

- Browncoat85

"Well, he is now."

- cuteemogirlfriend

Cheat or Be Cheated On

"My last boyfriend said he cheated because he thought I had already cheated. But I did not cheat on him."

"He felt like an a**face when he realized I didn't... But he lowkey still thinks I did."

- _mel-issa

For the Sake of the Relationship

"My college roommate would cheat on his girlfriend a few times a semester, and then feel awful about it and realize how much he loved his girlfriend."

"He started to rationalize that 'you need to cheat to stay faithful.'"

- henoney389

​Opportunities to Cheat

"Oh, this thread reminds me of my ex, who was just a complete s**tbag."

"He didn't cheat, but he nearly did, and he told me about it and said 'Hey, I was really drunk and still didn't cheat, everyone around was so so proud of me and said I must really like you. They all thought I did amazing for not cheating on you even though I had a proper chance to do it, so I thought I'd tell you about it.'"

"I just raised my eyebrow at him. I remember that I did hang up on him a few times and told him that it wasn't massively impressive when he was being a d**k. He was very abusive so I couldn't safely leave him, though. If it was safe to do so, I would've dumped his a** right there and then."

"I know he's on Reddit so he'll likely see this, and good riddance because he's a complete t**t. If you see this, you know who you are, and I think you can go to h**l for what you did to me."

- Complete-Mess4054

All About the Rush

"The answer is because cheaters get off on cheating. It gives them a thrill that a 'normal' relationship can't give them."

"This is why I say cheaters will always cheat, because they crave the excitement of it."

"They don't give a s**t about monogamy or non-monogamy; they just find it fun to cheat. They also enjoy chasing after other people who are in relationships because it's more fun for them to chase after someone who's already taken rather than to find someone who's not."

"In other words, they're sociopaths who get off on causing misery to satisfy their own selfish desires."

- MissGrim66

It's clear why these Redditors thought these were the worst explanations for cheating.

Not only do some of them not make sense, but they're a total dismissal of the cheater's accountability in the relationship.

While realizing that a partner you loved was cheating is already bad enough, it seems that receiving a terrible, ingenuine reason for the act would only serve to make it worse.