JOIN
OUR EMAIL LIST!
Photo by Stormy All on Unsplash

A loss for words. Have you ever experienced it?

Someone says something that is either so cool, so insane, so stupid, or so beyond what you were expecting that your words vanish in an instant. How do you handle that? How do you move forward?


u/Darkstar753 asked:

"What is something you've heard someone say, that actually left you speechless?"

Here were some of those answers.

?????

I worked as a camp counselor for young kids a couple years ago and one day one of their dads came in to show off his rather impressive fossil collection. Well this infuriated one of the other counselors because, in her words, 'he was lying to those kids and damning them to hell.'

TheWalkinFrood

Support?! How About NO

"Babe, you know how much I love you so don't be mad but I've been sleeping with your cousin for a while and we are in love and I'm gonna need you to support me on this. Also, if her husband calls, tell him she is with you."

Needless to say the speechless portion didn't last too long.

cordeliaolin

Eww, But Thanks

We were in a grocery store, starting to head down an aisle, when a man stopped us and said:

"I'd recommend avoiding this aisle - my wife just cut a wicked fart." His candor left us speechless.

Sure enough, even in the next aisle, we could smell it wafting in our direction.

Back2Bach

Actually We Do?

Me: "...and just a heads up, we close at 5pm today."

Customer: "No you don't."

Me: "..."

ashish19982001

No Longer Friends, Byebye

I was talking to someone about something unimportant and I jokingly said to my friend, what could you possibly hate about me? Well, she goes on this long rant saying that I'm over dramatic, hypocritical, arrogant, and a political stereotype. I don't even know what she meant with half of the things she was saying; she said I was a hypocrite for not liking anime.

Angel_Pie5

Trauma Alert

"He (me) was an accident and (my dad) did not want to have kids, I was not going to get an abortion, so we got divorced."

Something like that. I was 10. She always told me that they got married too young and wanted different things out of life. Don't eavesdrop on your mom's conversations with her friends drinking wine. Explains why my dad blows me off most of his weekends and when I'm there, I'm just kinda there and he ignores me.

Hellboy32607

Education Of Treatment

"You teach people how to treat you"

Mine blowing moment of realization that if I continued to say I suck and that no one should trust me with things, they will start to believe me and treat me as such.

honeywrites

Hey, I Don't Know You

A friend and I were in a store buying mannequins for our thrifting business. The guy who owns the store pointed to a specific mannequin and said:

'This one has great t*ts. Not like my sister in law's. She breastfed her baby and one day she whipped them out to feed him and they looked like fried eggs. RUINED FOREVER. My wife is in her 70's and she has perky little t*ts because she didn't breastfeed our kids"

Then he went on to tell us how his daughter breastfeeds and how great it is for babies. Wtf. We had known this guy all of 30 seconds before he unloaded this breastfeeding PSA on us 😳

hailmac

This Is Called "Racism," Folks

Was at a small, icky dinner that's gone now. Two older couples were at the next booth over, talking about how one couple was trying to sell their house. They were complaining that no one would want to buy it, since a black family moved in next door. The other guy said "it's simple, when you're walking in the yard with potential buyers and you see the neighbor, ask him how the flowers are coming along this year. They'll just assume he's the gardener!"

Veritas3333

And That's When We Block You

I used to have a friend with whom I had a three hour long discussion about physics related questions which he asked me. The questions all revolved around gravity in some way. At first, I thought he was genuinly interested in this topic. After 2.5 hours, I suddenly found myself googling papers that discussed gravitational waves and stuff like that (goes waaaaay over my head). So by then I got suspicious and asked him that if he wasn't willing to accept my answer, what would he think the answer is then?

Flat. Earth.

ThinWhiteAndSalty

We've all heard how parenting is a full-time job. So it's not surprising to learn that parents have discovered plenty of quirks and methods to make things just a little bit more efficient during that eternal slog.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by salmerf from Pixabay

Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.

Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.

U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?

​Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.

Call outs are a universal language.

In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

Humphr1es

We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."

Tatsukishi

Be your own Easter Bunny.​

Looney Tunes Cartoon GIF Giphy

You could hide your own Easter eggs.

Bdiz78

The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.

Gas-Blaster

That’s cold.​

“At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note

This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."

Catty_wampus

​I lol’d.

I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".

Soalindie

Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".

Srakrn

It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?​

When the bears are smarter than the tourists.​

GIF by Smokey Bear Giphy

Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

BerenTheBold

As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.

Lahmmom

​That’s a gross mental image.

In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".

GSavvage

In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.

Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".

Foxpawdot

It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.

Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:

Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"

Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."

Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"

Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."

Malibulobo

These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.​

Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.

eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy

On a Canadian jobsite

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

StrykerSeven

Oof, that’s harsh.

He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

Perstn

I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”

KatieSedai

Those are some gross socks.

Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

Angrypunishment

"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.

Rubywolf27

In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.

A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm

Image by 1388843 from Pixabay

It's a plague many of us would rather not admit occurs on a daily basis.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Look, we all want that coveted position at a new company. So how do we stay ahead of the competition and make a strong impression on job interviewers?

Keep reading... Show less