Growing up, I was usually responsible for cleaning the kitchen and taking out the trash on trash day. Those were my chores. I knew that. So I did them. But few things would demotivate me more than if I was ordered to do something. Telling me to clean the kitchen when I have no way of proving to you that I was about to go to the kitchen is aggravating.
After Redditor ZOOW33M4M4fk asked the online community, "What was your biggest 'Well, now I don't want to do it' moment?" people shared their stories.
"We're no longer friends."
For my 18th birthday my parents bought me 18 lottery tickets. It's a sort of tradition in our family. Didn't win anything except another three tickets. The day after my party, my best friend and I were out shopping and I decided I wanted to exchange them for the other tickets so we stopped at the nearest gas station. I won $500. As we were leaving I was considering splitting the money with my friend. Until we got in the car and she told me to buy her a new phone. I was silent for a moment out of shock and she added "that money is mine too, I drove here"
I gave her $10 for gas. We're no longer friends.
"While I was at a jeweler's shop..."
While I was at a jeweler's shop buying my ex-girlfriend's engagement ring, she called and was screaming at me for having got the wrong kind of pot roast for a dinner we were hosting. I stood there, listening to her scream and cuss me out and decided I didn't want to do this for the rest of my life. Happily married now to a woman that is way chill and never screams at me on the phone.
We certainly don't blame this person.
It's truly amazing what being treated that way can do for your clarity. I developed significant self-respect the more I understood that such treatment is not okay. I'm a much happier and healthier person now.
This next one is pretty relatable.
"It has become a common thing..."
My mother always tells me something obvious whenever I try to do something, then immediately starts bragging to anybody nearby that I would've never figured out how to change that tire/wash those dishes/vacuum that rug if she hadn't told me how to do it. It has become a common thing recently to just drop whatever I'm doing and leave it unfinished until she does it herself. I hate having anyone hover over me just so they can treat me like a brainless moron who only exists for their personal amusement.
"Some of the best advice..."
Some of the best advice I've been given is "Don't discourage the behavior you want to see."
As a parent, I try to apply it every day with my children - which is hard, because I've always been really sarcastic by nature, even with my friends and loved ones.
So I pretty much stopped..."
A big name trainer came to the barn where I kept my horse. Totally different discipline, but I had absolutely no problem with her and her dozens of students being there.
I happen to be pretty good at certain things that this trainer simply could not do. She was very well known, but not necessarily GOOD at her job. So she had me give her students pointers from time to time. I love all aspects of the sport, and I enjoy working with younger riders, so I gave them pointers. You can see where this is going- before long, I was essentially teaching her students. She was getting paid hundreds of dollars for me to teach her students.
One night, she used my horse for one of her lessons, and got mad at me because her student couldn't ride it properly. Imagine a banjo player trying to squeak out a tune on a clarinet. It's not that the student *COULDN'T* ride it properly; she just didn't know how to finesse the situation. Essentially the trainer thought that since I was working with the student, the student should be able to ride my horse perfectly. Hell, I couldn't ride my horse perfectly.
So I pretty much stopped coming out when I knew they would be there, and if they were there, I stayed away. As much as I loved working with the kids, that ruined it.
"I like reading..."
Reading. I like reading but the moment my mom/a teacher tells me to read I just don't feel like it anymore.
That's a shame.
Reading is wonderful! I am immensely grateful to everyone who fostered my interest in reading.
This next one left us gobsmacked.
"My mum and I had both been thinking..."
My mum and I had both been thinking that what with the pandemic, and with how our house is situated so that it's quite visible when entering our village, we should decorate the house more than we normally do for Christmas. Nothing fancy, just a few more lights outside.
Then we got a village-wide email from a very well-meaning lady saying that since 'Christmas is going to be a little bit different this year' she was launching Operation: Light Up [Village] and wanted us all to put extra effort into the Christmas decorations.
We both instantly went off the idea. We'd really wanted to potentially cheer people up on their drives home, but not if this woman was going to think she was the sole factor in making this happen.
We eventually did decorate the house, and even brought some new multicoloured lights to do it, but it was later than usual, just so that we could make sure we weren't doing it at the same time as the Operation.
One Christmas, I was going to invite the family to gather at our house for a change (instead of at our aunt's home).
But some are vegans, others allergic to all kinds of foods, while still others insist on having certain "traditional" dishes and that the house had to be decorated a particular way, or "it wouldn't feel like Christmas."
In the end, I just gave up and we went to our aunt's house instead - let her deal with all their demands and complaints.
"I'd have to gather my strength..."
When I'd call my parents, but the first 20 minutes of the phone call would be me unable to get a word in edgeways while they berated me for not calling more often.
Not surprisingly, this made me demotivated to call the next time, because I knew it couldn't ever be a quick call (I'd need to have a lot of time free to allow room for an actual conversation after the bollocking) and I'd feel awful. Who'd have thought that telling someone they're terrible every time you speak to them makes them dread speaking to you?
I'd have to gather my strength before a call--it could never be after a long day or anything because that would be so much harder to take--and prepare a list of what I wanted to talk about so I didn't forget from being so miserable by the time they finished their tirade. It took so much planning and emotional work.
How hard is it to say, "It's great to hear from you! How've you been?" Or at least to question whether all your children avoiding speaking to you might not possibly be your own fault, and try to change that?
"One day in class..."
This might not be a good example, but I had a good friend in high school, who I hung out with a decent amount. We were pretty close, and shared a lot about our personal lives with each other
One day in class I was sitting with him, his girl, and a few other acquaintances. I asked if he would like to hang out the coming weekend. His response was to laugh and ask if I did ANYTHING other than hang out with him, proceeding to (loudly) explain that he knew I hadn't done anything the previous weekend and if it weren't for him I would just sit at home all the time.
I've never wanted to redact an invitation so strongly.
"The dozens of times..."
The dozens of times I have come up with a YouTube video idea that I thought was cool late at night only to wake up the next day and think, "Meh, I don't really care anymore."
"Made me realize..."
I helped out at my kid's school wherever I could. I wasn't working so I was happy to be rostered in the uniform shop, bake for the cake stalls, supervise the disco and hand out flyers.
School sent out a letter saying parents weren't doing enough to support the school and it was "mandatory" that every parent did four hours of volunteering per year.
Made me realise how much I'd over delivered and how unappreciated my efforts were. Calculated I'd done about 30 years of my mandate and didn't give them a second more of my time after that!
(Yes you read that right, mandatory volunteering).
"Well, as can be expected..."
When I had to get glasses, I also wanted to get contacts, so as to not have to deal with the hassle of glasses. Obviously, putting things in your eyes is unnatural and against all instincts your body has, so they have someone help you learn how to put them in, and they make sure you can get them in and out successfully at least three times before you leave. The woman that was showing me was super unhelpful, and had terrible customer service. I think I was 21, so I know how to regulate myself, and can recognize when certain things happen.
Well, as can be expected, as I was bringing this foreign object close to my eye to put it in, my eye didn't like the idea, and I had to fight my instincts to keep it open. I also had to worry about my eye drying out, as I was moving slowly to avoid poking myself in the eye, or dropping the contact lens, or putting it in there folded or something. This woman, though, was very rude and annoying, and felt the need to keep telling me the same things over and over. "Don't blink. Open your eyes. Put it in."
Yes, I know, I'm aware of how this is supposed to work. No matter how many times I told her I got it, she wouldn't shut up and leave me alone. She kept saying "blink" every time I blinked. "Yes, I know I blinked! It's my own eye, I can feel it!" But she kept on, every single time. I was so pissed off at her. I wanted to just throw the contact back at her and tell her to shut up, but I just kept trying, to get out of there as quickly as possible.
"The following semester..."
I was friends with someone who I had several classes with, but they didn't fully grasp the subject. Since I wanted to help I tutored them for about an hour before every class. I didn't mind since I was helping a friend and the review paid off for me a couple of times. At the end of the semester I needed help in a different class because of a disability I have. The task was light for someone physically able, would take around 10 minutes, and was the difference between the project being done or not. So I asked them and they asked for money. Not even mentioning the tutoring, I offered to buy drinks afterward because it felt weird to just pay someone after giving them so much free help, but they insisted on cash. I declined, didn't finish the project, and told myself that I wasn't going to tutor them again. I just didn't tell them that.
The following semester we had multiple classes together and they still struggled. So I kept my word to myself and watched them fail two classes while dropping a third I wasn't in, but was based on the basic skills I had been tutoring them in in the previous semester so could have helped. They kept hinting at wanting help and I just ignored it. The regained free time was nice and seeing how one-sided our "friendship" had been allowed me some schadenfreude at their failure, but they did get revenge by physically attacking me in a way that targeted my disability at the end of the semester so that sucked.
This pretty much sums up my own experience with contacts.
It was terrible and the woman at the shop made me so uncomfortable the more she yelled at me. It made me nervous. And being nervous certainly wasn't going to help me put this foreign object into my eye. I stuck with glasses until LASIK a while later.
This next one made us think, Why would you do a thing like that?
"When I was a little kid..."
When I was a little kid, I promised myself that when I grew up, I would make a bowl of cake frosting and just eat the whole bowl, without bothering with the cake part.
There really is something to be said about being made to do things.
In that scenario, even the things you want to do sound like things you're better off avoiding.
But seriously, I just don't have much of a sweet tooth so the idea of eating cake frosting––just cake frosting––kinda grosses me out.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to share them in the comments below!
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There are few things more annoying than when you are seeking advice and someone responds with a boring platitude that helps no one. Believe it or not, if you choose to provide advice, it needs to be specific to the situation and shouldn't be dressed up in trite phrasing. Does saying, "Keep your head up" actually contribute anything if that's all you have to say when someone comes to you in search of a listening ear?
But this goes deeper than just advice, to be fair. Some of us are sick of greedy corporations that stress the importance of being a "family" while refusing to pay proper wages. Still more of us are tired of people using certain language when other language can suffice.
After Redditor BensReddits asked the online community, "What is a phrase you absolutely hate hearing?" people shared their stories.
"At any sort of conference..."
At any sort of conference/gathering/presentation:
"How're you all doing today?!? C'mon, I know you can answer louder than that! HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TODAY?!"
Instant resentment every time.
I second that resentment.
I attended a conference once where the main speaker did this several times in the span of thirty minutes as he announced different initiatives.
Such a headache.
"At my work..."
At my work upper management has started using the word "activate" a lot. As in, "We are working on plans to activate underutilized spaces." And, "Let's activate a few other teams on this." It just sounds silly to me and like they are trying too hard to avoid using simple, perfectly adequate language.
I'll take your "activate" and give you...
What is wrong with the word "use"?
"I was born in Australia..."
"Your English is so good!"
Thank you, I was born in Australia and English is literally my first language. My standard response these days is, "Oh thank you, yours too!"
This one is especially annoying...
...if you're not alabaster white.
This is a big one:
"Where are you from? No I mean where are you from."
Also annoying if you're not alabaster white.
"Someone saying to a teenager..."
Someone saying to a teenager, "These are the best years of your life!" I am in my mid-40s now and most people my age remember high school as horrible and awkward. The more appropriate thing to say is, "Hang in there kid! I promise life gets better. Just get through adolescence the best you can."
High school sucked.
My life vastly improved in my 20s. Let's not convince teenagers that they have nothing to look forward to after high school's over and done with.
"That's nothing... " when I tell them something only for them to turn it onto a competition and say something worse that happened to them.
The chronic one-upper.
"But she's your mother!"
Yeah, well she should've acted like one.
"I've heard it from people..."
"When you have your own children you'll understand."
I've heard it from people who don't understand that I want nothing more than my own family but being pregnant will kill me, and when I bring up adoption as a valid way of having children they'll buckle down on that phrase as to say adopted kids are not the same. It's disheartening to hear as a formal foster child and has reinforced my beliefs that no one really saw me as enough. Why would you say that to someone? All kids are the same and those without kids shouldn't be dismissed.
"I lost my daughter..."
"God has a plan" or "It happened for a reason."
I lost my daughter when I was 36 weeks in because of a sudden placental abruption followed by a uterine rupture, lost 2.2 litres of blood. I can't carry again without risking the child or myself. And I had to listen to a variety of phrases that made me want to hit those people. Those two were the worst. Followed by "You can try again" or "Did you get the child baptized?" (got this one only once though).
"Who on earth..."
"When are you going to have kids?"
Who on earth are you to not only insist I should stop and redirect my whole life for kids, but then put me on the spot and make up a timetable to change my whole life? Not everyone wants kids.
Now that you've learned a thing or two...
...you could say that all of the responses here are an exceptional opportunity to improve your social skills.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Dating is difficult––and truth be told, I don't know how anyone can do it right now, what with a pandemic going on and all. Just the thought stresses me out. Dating is especially hard for people who defy expectations in a heteronormative society. Take bisexuals, for example.
Bisexuals have been open about their struggles maintaining relationships with both men and women, even having to lie about their sexuality if they want to date certain people.
"I feel like if I end up in a straight relationship, I'll look like I was just experimenting all these years, but if I end up in a gay relationship people will say I was never actually bisexual," one man told the BBC in 2019. "Then if I don't have a monogamous relationship people will say I'm just greedy."
Indeed, the pressure to be either gay or straight can be a lot to navigate. After Redditor Trevor-on-Reddit asked the online community, "Bisexual people who have dated both genders, what are some notable differences you've learned about dating both men and women?" bisexuals spoke candidly about their experiences. Take note: You might learn something new.
We all know someone who really cannot figure out even the most basic thing without copious amounts of help. But when you meet someone who is completely and totally past all help, how do you even begin to try to help them get along?
Most of the time, they will just be flustered, or they won't listen. And you have to just stand Idly by and watch them fail.
What is your "This person has no idea how the real world works" moment?
Here were some of those stories.
The Boot, Not The Camp
When I was in boot camp, some kid put his letter addressed to 'mom' with no address attatched.
I was gonna say that its not that stupid for a very young kid to do that, but then I realized you said boot camp and not summer camp.
Don't Steal Dangerous Chemicals
A student working part time at my laboratory at a University came into my office and asked "so what all can I eat in the refrigerator, I didn't know I was supposed to bring my own lunch". I looked at him, stunned and replied "nothing, that food is what people brought for their own lunch, but you can use my grub hub to order". He DID NOT UNDERSTAND. It took 4 tries to get him to realize he can't just eat someone else's lunch.
Same student: I walked into the lab room and told him I made a full pot of coffee in the office and he could help himself. Him: "a pot of coffee? What's that?" He never used a coffee maker other than a Kuerig before and didn't even know it was a thing.
He was fired a month later for stealing chloroform.
No Ma'am, Like, REAL Bears
At a national park, the park ranger says "stay on the trails, there are bears in the area."
One lady says "isn't that dangerous? Why aren't they in their cages?"
"Ma'am, we're not a zoo."
These people are lucky to make it out of bed every day.
Sleeping On The Job
I lived with some Japanese exchange students during the final summer of college. They were really nice girls, but one of them (Mari) (~19 years old) obviously had no idea how anything worked. She spoke the best English and I was tutoring some of the other girls, while they helped me with my Japanese.
But Mari would constantly call me to come to get her because she thought we had free buses (all the buses). After all, we were students. That wasn't the issue. I could deal with that. It was a whole new culture. She was learning.
But what happened that made me realize Mari could not be left on her own was when she ended up in Eloy, Arizona. Which was ~400 miles and five hours from where we were. She had been talking to some guy on campus, he said he was visiting family in Arizona, and she said "I want to go."
He just took her with him, and she went without even telling us. She had just assumed the guy would take her back, but he said he couldn't because he was staying in Arizona. So I had to arrange a ticket, get her on the bus via the phone, and then pick her up two hours away because she missed her second bus by napping.
How...? What...? Huh...?
Had a friend who was in some uncredited scam online college for her master's degree in medical billing or something. She was on a loan program that was sending her about $5k every 3 months directly to her via check in the mail.
This was her only source of income. She kept calling it a grant that didn't need to be paid back. She was flat broke as a joke for 2 months but then the check would come in and she would be living the good life for a few weeks before being poor again.
We tried to do an intervention and show her the insane interest rate that would be back dated as soon as her "school" was done but she didn't want anyone to bust her free money dreams.
She just kept talking about all the money she would eventually be making billing insurance companies...turns out she wasn't even logging in to the online college or even attempting to get this degree.
She thought the money was free, the degree was automatic and the job was guaranteed. Some people are beyond help.
Such Brilliant. So Money. Wow
My boss told me about a friend of his, who told him af a "life hack". She would get her bills in the mail, NOT pay them, and then wait a couple of months to pay. Then she would cry so the debt collectors would feel bad and waive the fees for not paying on time. That was her "brilliant life hack"
Himbo Rights Activist
The other day, my 18yo brother-in-law got married to his highschool sweetheart in a parking garage so that they can live off campus at college together.
Girlfriend's, now wife, mother is an ordained minister. His parents, my in-laws, were very upset and he couldn't understand why because "it's just a fake marriage for school". Oh no, sweet boy. You are MARRIED. I just laughed and laughed. I love him dearly. He is a dumb*ss.
And yet somehow they are there to add these stories to our dull, dull days.
A dude (18 yo) in boot camp got a letter from home and I can see he is agitated. Being 22 and concerned for his well-being, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. (I'm thinking a Dear John letter or the Mom and Dad divorcing letter.)
He dead *ss told me that his younger brother got a Mercedes for his birthday and that he was pissed bc he "only got a BMW". Can't remember what I said, but I knew boot camp was gonna knock down. (It did.)
Who Pays Your Bills?
When my roommate, who never once paid for rent or groceries or anything, turned down the only job offer they have ever gotten, in front of me, TWICE.
They were so desperate they called him twice, offering good pay, during covid, and he had the gaul to say no in front of me. His excuse was "nah I'm sure there's something better. $20 an hour is garbage in this city" -_-
Just Read ONE Parenting Book
I worked for a clueless couple who had no idea how to raise a kid. He wore the same outfit everyday for a month until I gently suggested that he needs new clothes. His parents asked me "Where can we get baby clothes?" This was slightly hilarious given that they lived above a Target and next to a baby boutique.
I had to have the same conversation once the child was old enough for solid foods. I was asked "Where can we get baby food?" I had to explain that most grocery stores carry a baby aisle, or that she can mash up her own fruits at home for the baby. This family decided that sour cream would be a great first food for their baby!
I'll mention that this was a wealthy family who went on vacation at least 2-3 times a month. By far the weirdest thing they did was try and drop off Grandma at daycare along with the baby.
Stories like this make you feel like the most well-equipped, with it person alive, right?
We're all well aware of the weird, horrible, predatory things men do when attracted to women. But what about when women are the culprits?
Though it seems that, statistically, men are problematic at a WAY higher rate than women, there are certainly times where the person bringing the creepy vibes is, indeed, the woman.
Some men of Reddit gathered to share the most bizarre and uncomfortable things a woman has ever said.
AidenTheGamer14 asked, "Men of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing a girl has ever said or done to you?"
For some, it was the stalkers.
The cryptic behavior and frightening detective work of ex-lovers can be unparalleled.
Some Light Sleuthing
"Found out my address from the phone book, this was the 90s, sat outside my house for multiple nights, all night just watching my house, I live in the middle of the woods miles outside of town."
"We only had one date and agreed to leave it at that. I found out sometime later what she had been doing."
"Girl I was dating asked if I had changed the locks since breaking up with my ex months prior. I'm like 'No, but she wasn't a crazy person so I never worried about it.' She says if I don't change the locks she ain't comfortable sleeping over, so I change the locks."
"This ex sends me an angry text the next day 'So you changed your locks huh? Real nice a**hole.' So she had been coming over this whole time and doing who knows what."
She Stopped at Nothing
"She kept writing me letters at every address I lived at during that five-year period. If she didn't have the address she'd send them care of my parents. The most memorable is the one where she told me she was married and 'he's a great guy but he's not you.' "
"Once not long after I'd moved to a new address I came home and found a box of cookies she'd FedExed to me. Eventually I moved to a new state. I knew from her return addresses that she lived and worked there, and was worried we'd run into each other but realized that was pretty unlikely."
"Then after less than a year, she found me through a blog I was keeping and left a message on my voicemail demanding we meet. I posted a message to her on my blog telling her to stop harrassing me or I'd call the police (up to that point I'd been ignoring her, hoping she'd take the hint). That night she called, I repeated my threat to bring the authorities in, and I haven't heard from her since."
Others dealt with the creepiness on the internet. With so many avenues of communication all around us, uncomfortable comments can come from all directions.
"Someone I considered a friend started to grow feelings for me, but when she found out I had a girlfriend and I didn't feel the same for her she found out who my girlfriend was somehow. She then DM'd her and tried to tell her that I was cheating on her with her."
"Luckily I was with her when she got that DM so I could explain the situation and then we blocked her. Next day she DM'd her again from an alt account."
Worst Kind of Pen Pal
"I started a new job, and I shared a small office with a woman my age (and a couple other people). She was kinda cute but also weird and super naïve (she grew up in a very rural area). She'd flirt with me a lot, but I wasn't interested."
"So she started sending me emails."
"They were super long, detailing her whole day. And she sent them to me every day. I never responded. Then one day she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn't work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day. She didn't."
"They kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day. Eventually I had another female office mate who was her friend have a talk with her. Finally the emails stopped."
That's A Lot of Passwords
"I've had a girl create about 50 different Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram accounts all to try to get me to friend her. I've never met this woman in person and yet every few weeks I'll get a handful of friend requests from her"
"Met this girl online and talked to her a bit. I did started to like her."
"Later found out that the pic she showed me of herself was actually a pic of her friend who had passed away due to cancer."
In my early 20's I was at a party and the hosting woman full-on tried to reach down my pants to grab my business."
"Strange, yes, what made it creepy is that we were right in front of her mother, who was cheering her on."
Breaking Out the Scroll
"After 6 months from our breakup, my ex called me because she wanted to see me. It seemed strange to me but I accepted. When we met she was friendly and all..."
"Then at a certain point she pulls a sheet in which there was written a list of all men she fu**ed after our relationship and she read it all to me, with accurate description of every sexual intercourse. Well it was an awkward moment."
"I was going to head home after a night out and a I was getting into my taxi a girl jumped in after me. I asked what they were doing and she said 'I'm coming home with you.' "
"Nope. Taxi driver helped me and she got out the car eventually when I shot down her advances."
Again, it's important to read this thread and remember that this is a bias sample, solely focused on the incidents where a woman did act creepy.
But, yes, it happens out there.