Image by Thomas Rüdesheim from Pixabay |
There's something about creepy children that can really make your skill crawl. They've been a horror film staple since... forever!
But guess what? A child doesn't need to be murderous or the spawn of Satan himself to freak you out. Children are much more resourceful than that. They simply exist and toss out whatever thoughts that come to mind, sometimes with unsettling results.
After Redditor cruviex asked the online community, "What is the scariest thing a child has said to you?" people shared their stories.
"So for the next couple of days..."
When I was in kindergarten there was a bus accident and a lot of young children died. A lot of my classmates had heard of it in the news so the school decided to have a religious teacher tell us that actually, those babies were super happy because they were called to heaven by Jesus and were playing with him and having fun!
So for the next couple of days, I interrogated my mom on how to kill myself so I could go play in heaven with Jesus.
"Mummy..."
'Mummy, there's monsters watching you from the woods,' said my three-year-old when we moved into our new place and I was washing dishes by the big windows that look out to the woods. I laughed it off and closed the blinds.
Oh my.
That one sounds like the first scene out of a horror film, doesn't it?
"A little girl..."
A little girl in my church nursery once told me, "They are here, in the walls. Don't let them in."
She was talking about a mouse she saw in the church kitchen.
"We sort of assume..."
When my son was little (3 or 4ish) he would wake up with bruises on his forearms that looked like little hands had gripped him too hard. When we asked what was happening he told us an elaborate story about a little girl that lived in his closet and wanted him to hide in there with her.
We sort of assume that he was grabbing his own arms in his sleep and having nightmares but that was definitely horror movie material.
He said she wore a dirty white dress, her hair was falling out, her smile was too big and she had red fingers.
"He had a glow stick..."
I was at a family party with my cousin. He's about 4-5ish. He had a glow stick with him and he kept hitting me with it, so as any other person would do, I took the glow stick and hid it. After that, he told me we could either do this the easy way or the hard way and held a pop gun to my head. The gun weirdly looked like a real gun. Needless to say, I didn't give him his glow stick back.
"When my daughter was three..."
When my daughter was three she randomly turned to me one afternoon and out of the blue said, "It wouldn't matter if you died. I'd just get a new mommy." And then went back to playing.
Ask any parent. Toddlers say disturbing creepy things sometimes.
They do indeed.
When you see a creepy toddler in a film sometime, remember that the screenwriter might be a parent lifting directly from their own life!
"They separated him..."
While I was subbing in a contained ED classroom, a 14-year-old boy stood right next to me, smiled, and said "I don't like you." One of the other teachers in the room pulled me aside and explained that he was abused by female family members before being removed from his home. He regularly targeted new female staff members. They separated him from me for that day. I never went back to that room.
"My son..."
My son, in the midst of potty training, needs to drop a deuce. Heads to the bathroom and a few minutes later he comes out and says, "Dad, I cleaned it up."
And yes, it was worse than you can possibly imagine.
"My 11-year-old nephew..."
My 11-year-old nephew once told me that he knows his parents and teachers don't actually care about him, they're just pretending. This kid has had depressive episodes before, but it's only gotten worse as the years went on. I'm legitimately scared for him.
"I had a kid who was very shy..."
I'm a camp counselor. I had a kid who was very shy from the other kids and didn't really socialize with anyone. One day we were going boating on a lake and the kid looks at me dead in the eyes and says, "Drown. We must all drown." I was terrified.
None of these stories make you want to have children, right?
We thought so. Who needs that stress in your life?
Having to worry about daycare costs and keeping them occupied 24/7 isn't enough––now we need to worry that they'll traumatize us with the comments that come out of their mouths?!
Have some of your own stories? Feel free to share them in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
The One Secret People Will Never Tell Their Significant Other
Reddit user spinx248 asked: 'What’s a secret you’ll never tell your spouse or SO?'
Communication and trust are keys to a long-lasting relationship.
But even the best relationships are not without their secrets. Depending on the situation, some information is better left unrevealed so as to protect the relationship.
But is that a violation of trust–even if ignorance is bliss?
That's something that was explored after Redditor spinx248 asked:
"What’s a secret you’ll never tell your spouse or SO?"
Redditors came clean with their emission admissions.
"Remember when we were engaged and visited your mom in the hospital, and she let a fart so rank that your eyes watered and we still talk about it 20 years later?"
"That was me."
– Sarah-JessicaSnarker
It Was Coming From Inside The House
"That I farted and him checking the entire house as well as asking the neighbors if they smelled anything because he thought 'it could be a gas leak' was a waste of time."
– missnewbooty_
These secrets kept the relationship alive.
Monster-In-Law
"Her mother was interfering in our marriage constantly."
"I had an appointment with a lawyer to talk over options for divorce because I couldn't stand it anymore."
"Then her mother died suddenly. Heart attack."
"After the funeral, things got better...and here we are now married for 3 decades."
"She doesn't need to know."
– toTheNewLife
Early Bird
"How we really met…"
"He thinks a mutual friend decided to play matchmaker, which is true, but not the full picture."
"A friend of mine sent screenshots of my SOs dating app profile saying 'I’ve just found your future husband' some light googling led me to discover we shared a mutual friend, I spoke to him and he played matchmaker."
"6 years later, I’m never telling him that I basically stalked him first…"
– caca_milis_
There's no harm in keeping these private.
Potential Game-Over
"That I left the Nintendo Switch you gifted me on a bus. The Switch that you see me using is a replacement that I bought on ebay."
– TurtleGlobe
Pretend Hero
"Sometimes when I shake the kleenex outside, the spider isn't in it."
– ALighterShadeOfPale
"Hahaha once my husband captured a spider i was too scared to get. I was cowering down the hallway when inheard him say 'oops' then a slightly insincere"got 'em" but just a beat too late to be true."
– nebbeundersea
Redditors hid their clumsy attempts to make things right.
H2O-ohhh
"That one time when went camping for 3 nights I left the garden hose on at home full blast and we got a $700 water bill."
– poppinwheelies
Clumsy Repair
"That I chipped our wonderful granite quartz counter (that he picked out) and filled it with white putty. I will take this to my grave."
– Arrowings
Ignorance is bliss, forever and always.
Secret Ingredient
"Early on in our relationship, I made breakfast for my then Girlfriend and her kids using some pancake mix she had in the pantry. After making the pancakes and serving to them, I went to mix up a little more to make mine...and I realized there were some maggots in the dry mix."
"They were pretty much done eating, and telling me how good they were...I decided that ignorance was better than telling them. Taking that one to my grave."
– camafu
Secrets are tricky, but like all other types of confidential information, they have a tendency of slipping out.
A possible breakup can either be blamed on the nature of the secret itself or the deception of concealing it from a significant other.
If you have a secret you're keeping from your loved one, you may want to consider if it's worth coming clean.
On one hand, it can be risky if a hurtful truth can jeopardize the relationship. But think of the advantage of voluntarily owning up to the truth and earning more respect from your SO.
Something to think about.
There are few feelings worse than ending a relationship and getting your heart broken.
Even when people end things "amicably", there is still a lot of pain and sadness that comes with it.
What's more, when someone was such a major part of your life for such a long time, it might be a while before a day goes by when you don't think about them at least once.
As a result, whether the breakup happened the previous day or many years ago, people will go to great lengths to find ways to stop thinking about their former partners and move on with their lives.
"What’s the best way to get over an ex?"
Dive Into A Hobby
"When my wife left me I immediately started a woodworking project."
"I had to stop and cry every hour or so but at least I had my mind occupied some of the time."- Ozonewanderer
"Find a new hobby."
"Something to occupy your mind in your free time."
"Something easily accessible that can cost very little if you’d like it to."
"Dungeons and Dragons, a period of history, buy an inexpensive guitar and learn to play, things like that."- MrsAndMrGee
Stop Holding On...
"The biggest thing for me is to let go."
"Let go of everything you were looking forward to."
"Everything you wanted to do."
"You no longer want to do those things."
"Every time you begin down a conversation in your head you wanted to have, let go."
"It’s hard but you’ve got to reformulate your life without them."
"They’re not coming back."- mistaniceguy
"The Longest Distance Between Two Places."
"Time."
"It takes a lot of time."
"Can't fast forward it."- CpuJunky
Unplug!
"I know it sounds very cliché but just go on about your day, and for the love of every single god do not stalk their social media it'll only make it harder for you."
"It will hurt the first few weeks of course, nothing you can do about that."
"Also, find a hobby or meet new people, maybe start doing something you used to before you started dating but stopped because you didn't have the time anymore."
"My last breakup was a relationship that lasted almost 7 years, that bad feeling lasted a few months and I started dating someone else one year after that."
"I'm really emotional so if I survived that, you'll be just fine."- ChillOnTheHillz
Tell Them How You Really Feel... Without Actually Telling Them.
"It gets easier with time, but goes faster if you take steps to get in the proper mindset."
"I became a man-whore for a while."
"It was distracting, but it felt so empty."
"What helped me the most was writing her a long email about her faults and sh*tty behavior."
"If you do this, don't hold anything back."
"Do NOT send this email."
"It's therapy for you, not for them."- Ben_Thar
Think It Over
"Actually rationalize it."
"Understand your loss and why you might think you lost more than you really did."
"If it ended because they didn't love you or loved you less than you loved them, understand that you only lost someone who didn't love you, so in reality you didn't lose anything of real worth."
"You'd never be happy long term in a relationship where they didn't truly love you back."- Furicist
Put Yourself First
"I found the best way to get over an ex was to date myself."
"Sounds sooooo cheesy, I know. but I spent time rediscovering this new me."
"I spent a LOT of time with my family and friends, I volunteered, I explored my hobbies, took on a few more shifts at work basically loving on myself."
"It helped me a lot!"- LikeINeverSaid
At The End Of The Day, There Is No Right Or Wrong
"Went through this for the first half of this year and still struggle occasionally, so here are my few cents."
"When you catch yourself starting an imaginary conversation or ruminating on them, acknowledge it and bring your mind away from it."
"Focus on the present."
"Practicing meditation will help you do this more effectively."
"Work out."
"If you do a challenging activity like running you’ll be busy thinking about the fact that you’re f*cking dying and still have a ways to go before you get back home, and your breakup will be the least of your concerns at that moment."
"In the end you’ll feel good because you actually did something, and you’ll feel like you’re making progress on something."
"Vent to your friends."
"You’ll annoy them eventually, but that’s okay for now."
"If you don’t want to annoy your friends, vent to chatGPT.""It may sound stupid, but it’ll acknowledge your feelings and give you some generic advice."
"It’ll help get things out of your system."
"Read 'Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep-- Love'."
"I burned threw this book in a couple of days and it was like therapy."
"Do a quick search and you’ll find the audiobook for free on YouTube."
"Going to a few therapy sessions will help you work through your feelings with someone who’s there to give you their full attention for an hour."
"Write a list of things you didn’t like about your ex."
"If they dumped you for no reason other than 'I’m just not feeling it' or blindsided you, they are untrustworthy, lack communication skills and are incapable of committing and putting in the work necessary for a relationship."
"That’s not the person you want to be with and that should be item #1."
"Otherwise, I’m sure you can think of things to write down."
"Join a new club, sign up for a class, start doing a new hobby, make new friends."
"If the breakup is extremely recent (less than 2 weeks), let yourself be sad."
"Let it wash over you, experience it, accept that heartbreak is the most human of emotions."
"We all go through it, there are millions of people on the same boat as you right now."
"Cry, lay down and do nothing, listen to sad music, do all of that, but once the two weeks are up you have to stop. It’s time to do the things I described above."
"This is a time for you to reconnect with yourself and find who you want to be apart from the influence of someone else."
"This is your opportunity to level up."
"This is a months long process, but you got this and I’m rooting for you!"- Zwolfer
Patience Is A Virtue...
"Wait 30 years and it eventually goes away."- prajnadhyana
Just Find The Joy... Except In Your Relationship...
"Oh man here we go."
"Excercise and try to do things that make you feel better about yourself, new outfit/hairdo etc."
"Surround yourself with friends and family."
"Plan fun events with them etc."
"Write down the terrible things from the relationship."
"Your brain will try to remember the best."
"Don't forget why it's over."
"Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT. Try to contact them."
"Be strong. "
"Erase their phone number."
"Unfollow social media."
"Contacting them will only result in being ignored (more pain) or receiving a response that might continue hope of a future."
"Best of luck."
"Sh*t isn't easy, but it WILL GET EASIER."
"Not immediately, but it will."- littlemegzz
Some relationships simply aren't meant to be.
Which doesn't make getting over ending them any easier.
But dwelling in the past will never do any good, the only thing to do is move forward and accept the present for what it is: a present.
Sex work is work. Honest work.
It feels like the opinion on this issue is slowly turning.
So that opens us all to a lot of progress.
But is it progress in every area of life?
Let's discuss porn stars.
We support them. We support their work.
But would we accept one in the family?
Would any of us enter into a romance with one?
Or someone akin to them?
Redditor Throwaway4561947373 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on dating options, so they asked:
"Would you ever date a pornstar? Why or why not?"
I did briefly date a porn star.
It was fun. But I'm way too jealous.
Schedule
Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy"I dated a stripper. Her schedule was the real deal breaker. Well, that and her cocaine addiction, but that's beside the point."
C-C-C-Coolah
"The schedule thing was kind of nice at first because I value my alone time, but after a while the showing up at my house at 530am before I went to work was starting to make me feel really gross."
C-C-C-Coolah
No Mas
"I dated a stripper once. Craziest couple of months of my life. I still have no idea how old she is or what her actual life story is/was. The sex was shockingly tame, but she did have awesome ti*s. Not a chapter in my life I’d like to revisit tho haha."
Climate_Face
"I had a roommate who was dating a stripper and eventually dating her 'show partner' at the same time. It was a very wild 5 months where he got almost no sleep (schedule thing, not sex thing) and eventually said 'no mas.' Turned out there was too much of a good thing."
ksuwildkat
Wild
"I don’t think I personally could. Little too wild of a lifestyle/profession for me."
JessiePeteWhite
"Also, just imagining dealing with the fans that come from dating a regular celebrity makes me feel uneasy. The kind of people who'd seek out a pornstar in public would be a whole other level of cringe."
Poignant_Porpoise
"I wonder how you envisage their lifestyle. Plenty of them live normal lives and just go to work like anyone else. And especially with how many are independent these days the work is a lot more in their control and safer."
Athaelan
Patreon
"I dated a girl who sold nudes on Patreon back in the day. When we first started dating I knew she had nudes up on deviant art, bit didn't know about the Patreon. She never liked going out during the day except if we went to the movies. One day I got the tines for the different theaters mixed up."
"Got there, the next shoeing was in an hour, so we said f**k it and went to the cafeteria (the theater was attached to a mall) and ate some food. Some random chubby dude comes out excited and out of breath calling her by her handle saying he buys a bunch of her pictures and he couldn't believe he was meeting her."
"We were both frozen. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to scare the guy off or let her try to make another sale while she thought I was gonna be pi**ed that she didn't tell me about her Patreon. We laughed about it later."
AshyBoneVR4
About the $$$
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Thought about dating a stripper but even outside the club when we just hang out as friends she’s very monetary about everything. If I have to pay a service fee to hang out with you then I’d rather just not."
Keyguin
Always follow the money.
That's where the truth is.
Work
Sexy Jessica Alba GIFGiphy"No, because I'd feel like I was asking them to work whenever I wanted to have sex. I never said it was a rational thought, people."
Froticlias
Do what you Gotta!
"I dated a porn star for a bit. he was straight but did mostly gay shoots because it's higher paid. when he would tell me he had a good day at work it usually would mean that everyone was being cooperative or something funny happened."
night-gloss
"I have a friend that’s a porn star, and she said sex on set is very different from sex with someone you love/care about."
Gogh619
"That makes sense, but I could still imagine feeling like you’ve been touched and simulated so much that doing it more seems overwhelming, even if emotionally you would want to do it. And if you’re a guy you might not have much left in the tank so to speak."
Leet_Noob
For Love
"It's easy to say I wouldn't judge but in all honesty pretty sure many people wouldn't be comfortable, some would be I guess but most wouldn't. I think it all falls down to when you are dating them if you are truly in love enough to allow this or well maybe you like they do that anyway, it's really hard to say in real life."
DemonCyborg27
Lack of Potential
"Definitely not. Whenever I've dated someone, I've been at least open to the possibility of it potentially turning into marriage and a family; I would not want my kids to have to deal with that. Can you imagine going through your teens, with people sending you clips of your mum doing whatever to and with whoever? Your teenage years can be a tough enough experience by their own merit; let alone adding in that crap."
J-in-the-UK
A Current Affair
"A former pornstar and I wouldn't have an issue, we all have a past after all. An active pornstar though would be a serious no from me. I know I wouldn't be able to handle my partner being intimate with another person while they are with me, it being their job wouldn't matter."
votemarvel
Well to each their own.
Just be nice about people's choices.
Adults, who told you that you were going to have to come up with something to eat, three times per day, every day, for the rest of your life?
That fact feels like a false advertisement for life sometimes, but there are ways of making what can be a tough requirement go much smoother than what some of us may be currently putting up with.
Redditor Penya23 asked:
"What are some cooking hacks you swear by?"
Reduce Waste with Water
"Revive veggies that have lost their water by cutting their edges and soaking them in cold water. Lettuce, carrots, and celery will be crisp again."
- Rosy180
"Old produce guy here. Luke warm water is best, then refrigerate. The warm water makes the plant cells open more to absorb more water; while the refrigerator makes them hard to retain water and crisp."
- tjipa84
Buy the Good Scissors
"A quality set of scissors will save you so much hassle..."
- Mitchs_Frog_Smacky
"They should be able to disassemble at the hinge point for cleaning purposes."
- adamadamada
"And for sharpening. I hate MLMs as much as the next gal, but those d**n Cutco scissors my mom has are still going strong 25 years later."
- burnt00toast
Perfect and Easy Stuffed Shells
"When making stuffed shells by hand, mix the filling in a zip-lock bag, then cut a corner off and use it as a makeshift piping bag to fill the shells."
- PApauper
Include That Extra Zing
"If your food is bland even though you've added salt, then it's missing acidity. Lemon juice, lime juice, or vinegar are easy additions."
- PhreedomPhighter
Use the Power of Salt
"Salting your food 20 to 40 minutes before cooking makes a world of difference in the salt permeating the food."
- illusiveXIII
"Pat the meat dry first, then salt. This shift in osmolarity between the surface and the inside allows better penetration if the salt."
- tossthedice511
The Soy Sauce Secret
"I use soy sauce in a lot of stews and soups to help bring out savory flavors. My minestrone, for instance, usually has some soy sauce in it."
- potentialEmployee248
Don't Forget the Cocoa Powder
"Don't knock unsweetened cocoa powder. I add this to stews and chilis, and it adds a rich depth of flavor, and no one can pick out the cocoa."
- rthaw
"Everybody raves about my pecan pie and always wants me to make them for potlucks or gatherings. It’s literally the Karo syrup bottle recipe with a teaspoon of cinnamon, the tiniest dash of ginger, and 1.5 tablespoons of cocoa powder, and it’s exactly like you mentioned, a depth of flavor without actually tasting like chocolate."
- loyalpagina
MSG is Not All Bad
"Try a little powdered MSG. It will make any stew better. Chili and gumbo in particular really benefit, in my honest opinion."
- Red_Spork
"It's not called Makes Stuff Good for nothing."
- aquila-audax
Browned Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies
"Not my tip, but my wife browns the butter before she adds it to chocolate chip cookie dough and they're the best freakin cookies I've ever eaten!"
- dcbluestar
"If my recipe calls for cinnamon or other spices and melted butter, I let the spices cook in the butter for a bit to bloom them."
- screech_owl_kachina
Know the Difference Between Spices
"One thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn was that some spices are fat-soluble, and others are water-soluble."
"When I first started learning to cook, I wanted to figure out how to use each of the common spices."
"I put a dab of paprika on my finger, licked it, and it tasted like... nothing. I concluded that it was a useless spice and took it out of my cooking."
"I was wrong, of course. Paprika is fat-soluble, so when I put it straight on my tongue, there was nothing that could break it down. If I'd mixed it with oil or butter first, the taste would've been apparent."
"We have to be conscious of this in our cooking. Water-soluble compounds can be readily broken down by the saliva in our mouths, but fat-soluble ones need to be mixed with a fat (e.g. 'bloomed' in butter)."
"And a lot of spices (including garlic and cinnamon) contain both types of compounds, so they'll have one flavor on their own, but a different, fuller flavor when bloomed."
- FutureBlackmail
Easy Safety is the Best Safety
"Leaving a potholder on the handle of a cleaned cast iron pan to let anyone who might put it away know it may be hot as it cools down."
- Huntsmart2000
"Ditto for any skillet that comes out of the oven after roasting or braising. A towel immediately goes over the handle to remind myself not to instinctively go for the handle."
- Drach85
Avoid That Bitter Note
"If a recipe says to sauté onions and garlic together at the same time, DON'T."
"Do the onions first, and then add the garlic when the onions are just about done. Garlic can be over sautéed and it takes on a bitter flavor."
- dcbluestar
Prep Before, and Clean As You Go
"Prep everything first. Have all of your veggies cut and ingredients ready. You will be more relaxed."
"Clean as you go. Wash your dishes while waiting for your food to finish cooking. Fewer dishes to deal with at the end of the night."
- Draginia
Nothing Like High-Quality Knives
"Knives, get good knives and a sharpener."
- Pews_TRB
"Also, knife quality has NOTHING to do with how sharp it is in advertising or when you get it."
"If it dulls after cutting a few soft items, you probably got scammed."
- Ciryl_Lynyard
Small Additions Make All the Difference
"If your executive function is betraying you and you rely on microwaveable or premade meals, find something small you can add to make them more substantial and to feel more like a meal."
"Add chopped broccoli to ramen noodles. Cumin and red pepper flakes are great to toss in, too. Cook minute rice with a chicken boullion cube and some butter and pretend it’s risotto."
"My personal favorite is to dump a can of corn into a microwave-safe bowl and mix in a bunch of taco seasoning."
"And if clean-up is a struggle too, use paper plates and bamboo flatware. Disposable chopsticks are super cheap and easy to find online."
"When you’re struggling with depression, fatigue, or anything that makes taking care of yourself harder, taking shortcuts isn’t laziness, it’s how you survive to make those more daunting tasks a little less scary."
"Unrelated: if you’re making a soup or stir fry with lots of veggies, sauté the veggies a bit before adding other ingredients until the onions are translucent. I’m sure there’s some food science reason that this makes soups taste better but I have no idea what it is."
- ThunderDash
"As a multiply disabled person, f**k yes!"
"I swear by those 90 second rice packs. I get Ben's Original (Kroger, $1 sale), as well as Walmart and Target store brands ($1.25 to $1.50). Is it so much more expensive? F**k yes, but it's worth it."
"Frozen vegetables, canned beans, and rotisserie chicken are shortcuts that many poo poo on, but for me, they mean the difference between not eating and eating."
"And my personal favorite, adult Lunchables made from a handful of nuts or a spoonful of nut butter, crudites, and fresh fruit with cheese and crackers/pretzels/mini bread is such an easy thing to throw together and snack on for hours."
- annimdi
While cooking may not be everyone's favorite past time, there are ways to make the whole experience easier, much more enjoyable, and tastier than anything you've whipped up before.