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Fatherly advice is the sort of thing so valuable that there have been countless books, characters, and even YouTube channels built around it.

We didn't all grow up with a father - or one who was capable, for whatever reason, of sharing nuggets of sage wisdom.


Some of us, though, got dads who were right up there with Mr. Miyagi, Mr. Rogers (either the neighbor one or the superhero one works here) or Uncle Iroh. Reddit wanted to shine a spotlight on those dads and the wisdom they doled out:

Those who grew up with a good father. What was the most important thing you learned from him?

For real... we're kind of inspired right now.

You

"You are the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life ."

In other words, take responsibility for what you do, learn how to move past your mistakes, and realize that your actions have consequences.

- gaynazifurry4bernie


My uncle said something similar. Learn to be happy with yourself, if you can't, then investigate why and fix it.

- anakmager

I want to add something to that, if I may.

You have to take care for yourself, to the end. You're the only person that can make yourself happy. Yes, this can be with other persons; but when you're in a bad relationship, bad environment or what ever then YOU are the person that should do something about it.

Don't stay with the person(s) that don't make you feel good, loved or are bad for you.

- hank-tank

Walk Anyway

wave lol GIF by Shalita Grant Giphy

We were once watching the show Survivor, and on this particular episode the people were flown in to where they were set to be stranded. The catch was that they had to trek quite a ways to their camps, and beforehand they voted on who they thought the weakest link would be right off the bat and based on first impressions.

The lady that was voted as weakest got a ride to camp rather than having to walk. My dad scoffed and said "Screw that, I would have walked anyway to prove them all wrong."

Simple, but it has stuck with me ever since. In the context of a survival game it's a bad move; conserve your energy. But I think for me it's about more than that.

It's a reminder that it's easier to be lazy, especially when others expect it from you, than to hold up the personal standards you should carry for yourself. Don't let them carry you. If they think you're too weak to walk, walk anyway.

- le_trout

Default To Kindness

My dad taught me to always be kind. Kindness isn't loud, it doesn't need to be stated. It should just be inherent in everything you do.

You don't have to like everyone or treat them well if they don't treat you well, but you should try to approach everyone with the same kindness you'd wish they'd give you.

- panicked228

Same! Also, you can cut ties without burning bridges. It's okay to say "this person no longer needs to be in my life, but I won't hurt then while I say goodbye"

- bruhimsaltyaf

Easy Ain't It

If it was easy, everyone would do it.

- orangegumby27

I follow a modified version of this in business: If it was fun or exciting or easy, they wouldn't pay us to do it instead.

It's a lesson that some of the most boring, basic, monotonous stuff imaginable can make you the most money. On the flip side; the funnest, most interesting stuff is the stuff that the clients all want to try doing for themselves (or there's an over-saturated market of people doing it.)

The more annoying and complex the better because they'll pay us extra to deal with it for them.

- effyochicken

Listen

If you don't know how to make things better, just listen.

Dads like fixing problems but a lot of problems my sister and I had weren't things he could do anything about (friendship problems, breakups), but he'd listen to us vent about it.

People really value having someone listen to them, my friend went through a really hard time a few years ago and ended up getting depression. Some friends just left her to it but I invited her round, let her just talk. I've never experienced depression so felt so helpless not knowing how to fix it, but just listening to her and being present was still a help to her.

- Char1112

Time

To kids, Time = Love

- headdna

Thiiiiissssss. Buying your kids the latest toys etc is no where near as impactful as spending time with them. I've realised over the last few years how many things my dad took me too or did with me that wouldn't have been necessarily up his alley but he genuinely found happiness in spending time with us.

We didn't have a lot of money and therefore didn't have a lot of "things" but I feel luckier because my dad spent as much time with us as he could. If I become a parent that's one of the most important values I want to live up to.

- communityandwine

Sober

If you ever feel like you have a problem, just know you can live a full happy life without alcohol. He couldn't control it, and neither could I. He gave it up so he could have his son in his life, I gave it up because of his example.

- Benjaminbuttcrack

Mine never taught me this. He died because he choked on his vomit when I was 7 years old. It took 10 years in a drunken stupor and a few rotten teeth for me to realize that something had to change.

This lesson is more important than we know.

- Thwashow

Priorities, Purpose and Patience

music video GIF Giphy

To always make your loved ones a priority. Make it your purpose. My dad worked hard to give us a comfortable life and more opportunities than most. And after what I can only assume was a long and tiring day, the first thing he'd do was sit and watch cartoons with me and my brothers while asking us about our day.

And when he was forced to quit his job and decided to start up his own company, go on for half a year without income, I can only imagine how stressful it was to be so uncertain about the future while providing for a family of 6. I was slightly young but I never knew anything was wrong. He never let it show. And even though he worked probably ten hours a day, he always took the time to ask me how I was doing and go to every important event with us. My dad was and is a superhero. Always will be.

The next thing I'd say I learnt from him was patience. Whenever he was upset with me or thought there was something up, he'd ask me about it and wait until I was done with my side before saying anything. Really made me feel heard and less worried to tell him something even when I knew its not what he'd like to hear.

- wutryougonnad0

Indulgence Encouraged

My dad taught me to indulge my love for learning.

Want to read a history of the Aztecs at 6 years old? He took me to the library and we got a real history book and he helped explain what I had a hard time reading. Want to help in the garage? He taught me all the tools and taught me how to clean them and oil them and how to use them.

He always took me seriously and answered every question. He was my greatest teacher and my biggest defender and my rock. I lost him in 2003 and I have missed him every minute since then. How I raised my kids has a whole lot to do with how he raised me.

- Pyratekyd_Kidd

Make It Make Sense

My favorite quote came from the early 2000's. He died 11 years ago.

"If the way this world works ever starts to make sense to you, you need to start worrying about yourself."

The world is absolutely as screwed up as it looks. Don't let it screw you up trying to make sense of it.

- NotSure733

My dad would say that his father taught him that things would never make sense if he didn't pay attention.

My dad told me that the opposite would be true by the time I grew up. Right he was.

- T65bX

Not About Success

Life is not about success, attaining things, status, etc. Those things have a place, but they shouldn't be your main focus.

Instead, concentrate on being a better version of yourself. Grow, learn, be honest with people and be honest with yourself (which is harder imo). Cultivate real relationships with people. Take care of and be grateful for the one's you love. It's okay to fail, but it's not okay to not try.

- Obsidiantic

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Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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