Image by bobtheskater from Pixabay

Why do we lie when it would make our lives so much easier to tell the truth?

Maybe we're worried about people finding out about the real us. Maybe we're worried about having to do something we'd rather not do.

Maybe we're cheating on our significant others. Whose to say?

Don't be like these people. Tell the truth, take your lumps, and above all, call people out if they try to give you some BS excuse.

Reddit user, u/Pixasol, wanted to hear about:

What's the most bullsh-t excuse you ever heard someone say?

The Workplace Because Of Course It's The Workplace

Easiest place to find BS excuse makers? The workplace. No one likes to do hard labor, so the easiest way to get out of it? Lie.

And then get caught.

That Sure Sounds Like Dangerous Driving

"I wasn't driving dangerously, I was swerving to the music"

- a moron who we fired for having numerous driving complaints. It's not often that I want to punch someone in the face because they're just that stupid, but that boy sure fit the bill.


Staking Your Claim And Doing Nothing

At my warehouse we have a "sweeping schedule". Everyone is required to pick a day and a time (A.M. or P.M.) to sweep the floors, and nobody is excluded. 64 year old boss man himself goes out there and sweeps every Monday and has for 20 years.

New employee shows up for training. Tell him about the sweep schedule. He says, "Oh I'm not doing that sh-t. That's emasculating and I ain't no b-tch. Don't we have some women or some foreigners for that?"

Boss man overhears. "Listen son, if you can't push a broom, you can't do jack sh-t."

Then he points at a sign above the exit.. the sign reads: "If you can't do jack sh-t, get the f-ck out"


I Know For A Fact You Opened It, Carol!

"That's the first I heard of it"

...when you had sent them an email about it

...and they replied to the email

...and they were in the meeting where it was discussed

...and their inaction caused more work on you


Finding Liars In Your Day-To-Day

You can't avoid liars, even outside the workplace. Odds are you'll find people in your immediate social circles or simple walking down the street who need to be reminded that it's easy enough to prove them wrong.

A Nothing Response

I'm just a [astrological sign] I can't help it


Translation: I'm Really Not Going To Miss You Guys That Much

"I had to walk my dog" - a friend who was moving away and didn't show up for his own going away party.


Hoping To Keep It Secret

"I didn't think you'd find out."


Respect for honesty.

You're still in sh-t though


Romantic Difficulties

Then there are those excuses which arise in the throes of romance. It's especially difficult in matters of the heart, as a mistake or a slip-up could lead to the end of the relationship. So you lie, hoping to make things better, but usually it leads to a worse outcome than what would have originally happened.

Got The Receipts, Right Here

So me and my now ex's best friend planned a surprise party for her at my place and I asked her if she wanted to come by and hang out with me, text conversation went like this:

Me: Hey babe, wanna hang out at my place tonight?

Her: Sorry babe, I'm currently with (her best friend), and we're about to go see a movie

Her best friend saw that, and she called her from my phone asking what she was actually doing, and we could hear the guy she was with saying, "Yeah, I should probably go"

Needless to say, there was no party


Ex For A Reason

my ex girlfriend got drunk, drove to my house at 2am, banged on the door, punched me in the arm, threatened to kill my new girlfriend, spit on me, and then fell down in my front lawn screaming that I had punched her (which I hadn't) and threatened to call the police.

The next day she said "I'm just a fiery latina!"


Sure, Zach. Sure.

"I only hit on you so that you would come out to me. I'm not actually gay bro." - A closeted jock in high school. He also asked for my Snapchat and would ask for nudes but then told all his friends that he just wanted to add me as a joke.

Sure, Zach.


Be honest. Speak your truth. Honestly, the worst thing you could do to someone is giving them a lame excuse when the truth would work so much more effectively.

Especially when they can so easily catch you.

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Image by ming dai from Pixabay

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Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.

Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.

U/Imaginary_East5786 asked: What was the weirdest thing the weird kid did at school?

​Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.

Was it worth it?

peeing ralph wiggum GIF Giphy

He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.


Scientific method:

> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'

> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended

> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended

> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended


Uhhh what was the intention here?

He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.


​Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.

Boom theret.

At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."

So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.


I hope there was no overlap in the columns.

Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAM Giphy

She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.


2 separate lists or just the 1?


Same list 2 columns lol.


Holy crap.

Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could*t was wild.

This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.


​Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.

Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.

Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.

A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.


Every school had the cat girl.

cat dragging GIF Giphy

The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.

Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.



Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.


I was exactly this kind of weird.

He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.

The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.


I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.

As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man

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