As a child I had some pretty questionable beliefs thanks to some "creative" parenting (I'm still bitter about the moon princess thing, y'all.) but they fell away as I grew into an adult.
That's not the case for everyone, though.
Some people carry those thoughts into adulthood until it alls to some poor unfortunate soul to explain that the Jurassic Park films are not, in fact, a series of documentaries.
Think I'm lying? A Reddit user asked:
And legitimately it's right there. More than one person absolutely thinks dinosaurs are still roaming around. It only gets weirder from there.
That Jurassic Park wasn't a real place.
I wish i was joking.
This reminded me of the time some animatronic dinosaur exhibit was traveling around and was going to be at the zoo in our hometown. This was mid 90s, I think. Someone had gone to see it and wrote a letter to the editor of the small town paper to let everyone know it was a scam--they're not actual dinosaurs, they're robotic. My uncle, reading the letter went on a rant about how shady it all was, and how the advertisement sure makes it seem like they're bringing real dinosaurs. He went on for ages, never once stopping to consider what he was saying.
My ex saw an online article about the troubles of relocating a living T-Rex over the autobahn in germany. She showed me the article and I told her it's fake. She was arguing that no, it wasn't fake, why would a online article write anything about it?
I told her that if it were to be real, the whole world would be talking about it. But that wasn't enough reasoning for her, so I googled about the platform it was posted and found that it was just all satire. Then she got mad at me for a few days...
Reminds me of when I had to explain to my best friend that dinosaurs actually DID exist, and were not, in fact, fake bones planted by scientists to disprove the Bible.
Independence Day4th of july summer GIF Giphy
Back when I was active duty Air Force, I had to explain to a woman I worked with why she should not mail fireworks to her husband. See, he was going to miss Independence Day... Because he was deployed in Iraq.
I used to work at hospital. One of the most frequent things I had to tell people was why it was a bad idea to smoke near their relatives or friends who had oxygen tanks.
Hey, I know people on oxygen who need to be explained this over and over. So dumb.
These are the same people who need oxygen, but don't take it with them when they drive, because they're scared the cops will see it and assume they're too old to be driving. Because, of course, they are.
We Need Those
That the engines on the plane we were flying in could not be turned off during the flight just because she thought they were too loud.
Have to explain (so many times) that if the engines of a plane stop, that plane will glide. not free fall.
What Happens In Vegas
That if you get married in Vegas it's legally binding everywhere.
My husband and I were planning a trip to Vegas and a friend tried tagging along with his gf. She said they could finally get married and just elope and he said " whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas".
I replied with "except STDs and marriage".
He honestly didn't know that getting married in Vegas is legally binding. He thought it was just a fun thing people do as a joke. He's 34 and really didn't know.
We were swimming in a lake, and we heard thunder. I told my friend we better get out of the water. Friend replied with, "Why? There's no lightning."
After a brief pause, I explained that there had to have been, since we HEARD THUNDER. Friend still looked confused, I asked what in the world do you think causes thunder? She said thunder is the sound clouds make when they run into each other.
I had to carefully explain how thunder is actually created.
Unplug The Toaster
That you shouldn't try and get your toast out of the toaster with a conductive metal fork if your toast is stuck....
And that when the fuses trip, you just got a visual indication of how close you came to death by electric shock....
And that after explaining it once already, resetting the fuse box and watching the lights turn off 2 minutes later, I know you've done it again....
UNPLUG THE TOASTER BEFORE YOU JAM METALLIC OBJECTS IN IT YOU MORON
The Libraryreading rainbow dancing GIF by LeVar Burton Kids Giphy
That the library is a public space. So yes murders, people with arrest records are allowed inside the building. We do not follow them around to make sure that these people are behaving.
No, our library does not have an after school program. Yes, that means all 85 kids you are looking at are unattended. No, the kids are free to leave at any time. No, you do not have to sign them out.
No, we can not force your child to do their homework every day after school. No, I will not personally buy your child a snack everyday when I am on my lunch break. No, our library does not have food we can just hand out to your child.
No, I will not take your child home with me after school. I will not take your child home with me even if you give me money. Yes, I like children. I like them best when I don't have to parent them.
Alcohol Has Calories
Alcohol has calories.
I had to be the one to tell my friend when she was in her mid-20s that the vodka she loved had calories. She was so shocked and said, "What!?! I thought since it was clear like water it didn't have any calories."
There is no such thing as a legal requirement to register your hands/feet/any body part as a lethal weapon in the US - even if you are king of the bad@sses or your Navy buddy carried a really shiny card indicating otherwise.
It came from my painfully earnest uncle who informed me that I just don't understand how military law works. It's not something that I could just "look up on my phone." Bless his heart, I think the lines between reality and a Steven Segal movie have been blurred for some time now.
Explaining to my 14 year old (I know, not an adult, but close enough to know better!) sister that I don't do drugs when she threw a full glass spice holder from my spice rack at me. Nearly in tears, she asked how I could not only keep a jar of marijuana in my kitchen, but also label it...AND I couldn't even spell it right she cried.
The spice was MARJORAM. We still tell the story of her devastation 8 years later.
Fear Is Not Respect
That fear is not the same thing as respect and trying to make somebody scared of you isn't going to make them like you, or want to be around you. He was 48. Myself? 22 and his employee...
This guy/thing ended up disregarding what I said shortly after and sentenced to 2 years in prison for stalking and terrorizing me when I quit and tried to cut all ties.
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