People Break Down The Most Messed Up Thing A Teacher Has Ever Done To Them
Teachers are supposed to be kind individuals, instructing a class of (most of the time) open-minded students how to learn and grow and critically think. In an ideal world this would be the case for all educators, but as any person who's been through the education system can tell you, a good teacher is not always a guarantee.
Reddit user, u/throwaaawayx0, wanted to hear about the worst of your class life when they asked:
[Serious] What really messed up thing did a teacher do to you?
Letting Preconceptions Get In The Way
I'll go first, its a story which I only remembered some years ago.
I come from an immigrant family (Iraqi).
I was always an extremely shy and introverted kid, never talking much.
So one day the teacher starts talking about antisemitsm and he says how I am Iraqi which means I HATE Jews and I would love it if they all just died, some people looked at me, for example a buddy who sat next to me asking me if thats true.
I said that thats not true and that I respect everbody regardless of religion, sex, sexual orientation or whatever and I was really confused, it was not a joke because he didn't laugh and even if it were a joke its not a funny joke and at that age many people will get brainwashed since they believe everything a teacher says.
In the end nobody except the people in class knew about what happened but I thats now probably 7 years ago and if I had said something to the principal (which I wish I did) the teacher would've probably gotten suspended.
Sad that people like that are teachers.
Keep Your Hands To Yourself
In high school, we were having some sort of drill/lockdown. Don't remember what the situation was exactly. Some students were laughing and talking during the it and the (substitute) teacher was getting clearly frustrated. She told them to quiet down repeatedly, which being high schoolers they didn't liste, until she was yelling at them to be quiet. I responded to her saying, "you're being louder than they are." Not trying to be rude, but for real she was.
She didn't like that, so she smacked me. After the drill, she called in a counselor, about the students. She probably shouldn't have done that, because it was just brought up how she was being loud and then continued to hit a student. Never saw her again.
Terrible
When I was in seventh grade, I was having issues with anxiety and depression, and I went to my guidance counselor. I was visibly crying and she told me to stop blubbering like a 5 year old.
When Your Dad Steps In To Have Your Back
Seventh grade. I was a shy, awkward teenage girl who didn't wear makeup, do her hair, and was going through a gangly growth spurt. I came in one day wearing shorts, in California mind you so it's hot six months of the year. My science teacher Mrs. Sylvia, a frumpy old bag of a woman who never smiled, made me stand up and humiliated me in front of the class for wearing "short shorts", which they were not, and claimed 'my ass was hanging out of them.' They just hung on me awkwardly because my parents hadn't bought me new clothes yet because we couldn't afford any at the time.
I was mortified to the point of being in tears and told my dad. Well, she messed with the bull there. He called a meeting with the principal and her without me there and tore her a new one. Said how dare she humiliate students like that, especially the way she dressed, which was in spandex workout shorts every day. The principal tried to calm him down saying, "Er, ah, let's not talk about personal appearances!" My dad said, "To hell we're not! She talked about my daughter's appearance so it's all fair game!" He called her an old burnout and told the principal his school was full of them, which was true. He told me that day that as a parent, you have to have your child's back, because no one else will, especially not teachers or administration. It's a lesson I have taken to heart.
A Little Sensitive
My music teacher for an extra curricular(so not even my actual band teacher) once yelled at me for like 5 minutes after I said "Ow" softly while he was talking. I had accidentally hit my back on the wall. He went so far as to insinuate that I did it for the attention! It was so unfair and humiliating, i started crying. After that day, I never went back. Jokes on him though. I saw him about 3 years later, in a university music hallway that I was attending at the time. He waved, I didn't.
Singling Out A Specific Type Of Student
I was in first grade, with another girl and I being the only kids of color in either of the first grade classes. One of the other kids got lice and my teacher (horrible woman) decided to ONLY bring out me and this other girl to the hallway and aggressively check our heads...as if to suggest we were dirty and the cause of the lice. I went home and innocently told my mom, because me being 6 I hadn't realized what happened.
My mom lost it.
She threatened to sue the school district and demanded the teacher have disciplinary action. Nothing ever happened to the teacher unfortunately, my mom only got a hefty apology from the principal and my teacher just never bothered me again. To this day, my mom still gets pissed talking about it and hates that teacher.
...wow...
I went to school without wearing a bra. I was 13 and completely flat-chested, but I guess the barest hint of nipple through my shirt enraged my teacher.
She made me stand up in class and asked me if I thought it was appropriate to come to school dressed like I was while pointing at my chest, then asked if I was "showing off" before ordering me to the principal. Nasty, bitter old woman.
Unequal Grading System
My english teacher in 8th grade hated me. So when she saw I had got full marks in a test, she grabbed my test sheet and scanned it with full attention to find any minor mistake. She found a spelling error and deducted a mark. A friend of mine had a spelling error in the same test but he had only half a mark deducted for the same.
Adding Awful Fuel On The Terrible Fire
I had a math teacher in 8th grade pick on me a lot as well as (what felt like) single me out due to failing the class. I am adhd and depressed, I was struggling after the death of my mother 2 years prior and the subsequent abusive stepmother I gained shortly after.
He once asked me if I was planning on marrying a rich husband instead of having a career because I would need to if I kept up my bad grades and lack of attention during class. On occasion he would also humiliate me by reading or describing the doodles and jokes/stories I would write during class instead of paying attention. He really made me feel worthless.
A Serious Lack Of Ego
My teacher told me to go to the principal's office because I didn't want to take off my jacket.
Same teacher, he just wrote to my mom because I was cleaning my desk before the start of his class. In his words, I was being disrespectful because I wasn't looking at him when he greet us. After that he said that if I don't hurry up [cleaning my desk] he will call the principal.
Deadly Grass
4th grade my teacher would always open the windows when they had the grass cut. Now there's me a inferior gene'd child with bad allergies and asthma. I would always ask her to close the window because I was having trouble breathing and she never would. At a certain point I just stopped asking for her to close the windows. (Context this school had recess before lunch, why idk. Hindsight it's pretty stupid but w.e.)
So one day, like always the windows were open and they cut the grass later in the day. This meant, come recess they were still cutting the grass. Fast forward an hour to lil me on a stretcher, on oxygen after getting a breathing treatment being put into an ambulance due to an acute asthma attack. This Reddit, is how I ended up getting home schooled.
Excessive, Much?
When I was in third grade, if you didn't have your homework done the teacher would throw you a pity party.
She would make you stand up and then have the entire class chant "1, 2, 3, awwwwww"
Then she would put your name, and the assignment, in what she called the F-Tablet. She claimed that if you had a single assignment in the F-Tablet at the end of the year she would fail you.
You would also lose recess privileges.
Trying To Have Your Back
A little more light hearted than the other stories.
In third grade I was making a presentation in front of class. In the far back of the class I saw the substitute teacher pointing at her crotch and mouthing something under her breath. I was really confused.
At the end of the presentation I just HAD to know what the heck she was doing.
"Mrs. Smith, what's the matter?"
"YOUR ZIPPER IS UNZIPPED!"
I looked down, my underwear was clearly showing, everyone started to point and laugh.
Nearly 20 years later and I still triple check to make sure that I zipped my pants.
Endangering Students For Fun
When I was in sixth grade, we walked across the street for ice cream as a class. I lost my shoe in the middle of a busy street and the cars were already coming both ways, but my teacher made me run out and get it.
Same teacher would fail me on assignments for no reason. I don't know what I ever did for my existence to piss her off
Let Them Use The Bathroom!
Whacked me with a yard stick after I asked for the nth time to please use the bathroom. Then screamed at me when I pissed myself. Mrs. Peacock was my personal Snape in first grade.
A Hateful Vendetta
My 5th grade teacher would intentionally fail everything I did because my mom pissed her off.
Also, I flunked a math course the year I was supposed to graduate and I had to go to another town for summer school. The summer school gives me all of these packets that I'm supposed to complete. But they come back wrong. So my sister lets me use a computer program (like a calculator that teaches you how to actually do the work) to complete the work. Still wrong. I have a neighbor help me. Still wrong. I have a really old friend who was going to college for engineering help me. Still wrong. As it turns out, someone at this school did all of the answers BY HAND, and got them all wrong and they just assumed it was right this whole time. So they just passed me, which was the good part. The months of hard work, frustration and stress was sh-tty though.
Seriously. Messed. Up.
I had a restraining order against a family member, and the school knew and alerted all my teachers before events and open house. My art teacher decided she knew better than the court, and not only let him into a school event, but showed said family member all of my artwork and portfolio and divulged personal information about me. She somehow didn't get fired!
Probably Shouldn't Be Allowed Around Kids
Made fun of a disability in front of the whole class multiple times.
I have a prosthetic right leg. He would make fun of it all the time, impersonate me, ask me to "walk better", and then some. Even changed lyrics in a song the class was singing to joke about it one time. 4 years of that.
In addition, he'd intentionally try to make things awkward with people dating, etc... I had dated a girl briefly in the class and for the next 2 years he would keep making jokes and trying to make everything more awkward than it needed to be, and did it to tons of others as well.
The Best Real-Life Examples Of 'Never Interrupt An Enemy While They're Making A Mistake'
"Reddit user Spinksy48 asked: 'What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake 'moment?''"
People will trip themselves up eventually.
Because liars and lunatics always make mistakes.
They may be small mistakes, but they leave just enough room to expose their wicked ways.
Sure we all want to fight off an enemy and be the victor.
But sometimes the victor's greatest weapon is nothing but a little patience.
Then, we celebrate with a smile as we watch the crumble.
And maybe we have a little victory dance.
Redditor Spinksy48 wanted to understand the fun of letting your opponent lose by just doing nothing, so they asked:
"What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake' moment?"
If the story starts to get really crazy, just wait for a break.
Then ask a question from the beginning.
I guarantee you know more of the lie than they do.
Just keep talking, friend.
Gotcha
Dashcam Hello GIF by TranscendGiphy"I let the lady who changed lanes into me run her mouth about how I rear-ended her before pulling the cop aside to show him my DashCam footage."
ThrowingChicken
A Cherry Wave
"I was accused by a neighbor of reversing out of my drive and hitting his car. He gave me the date and time I had allegedly done it and pointed to a (small) scrape on my car that supposedly matched perfectly the location of the dent on his. This was 7 weeks after the alleged event, by the way."
"I said it wasn't me but told him to contact his insurance and we'd see what they said. A few weeks later I get a letter from my insurance asking what had happened, to which I responded with the date I had bought my car (and updated my insurance) - two weeks after the supposed bump."
"He never spoke to me again but I used to give him a cheery wave every time I saw him glowering at his window."
Gazcobain
Speak Once
"In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS, she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do."
"I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, and she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself. She got sacked this month."
choiaera
We Hated Each Other
"Guy stole a presentation from me, this is 25 years ago. We hated each other. When he started presenting I realized I had made a huge error, didn’t say anything. Let him get through it. Asked him about the error, but he couldn’t answer. This was in front of COO. Got fired, not for just that, he was an overall douche. This was before everyone was on PCs, and had one printer in one room."
Bmilvis
Whoops
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When a coworker who I hated got fired a few weeks after I decided to stop fixing his mistakes even if it impacted a client."
Hrekires
It's always thrilling to see the bad colleagues go!
Bye. Bye. Bye.
I will see you on the 15th
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Not my story, but several years ago my older brother was fighting for custody of his son with his ex-wife. As the first custody hearing date approached, they were exchanging [un]pleasantries over text and my brother ended up saying something along the lines of, 'I'm not continuing this conversation. I will see you on the 15th.' The ex-wife told him, 'The hearing is on the 25th dumba**.'"
"So of course instead of correcting her, my brother just allowed her to keep thinking it was the wrong date, and she missed the first hearing entirely. It became the first of many mistakes she made in the court system that eventually led to my brother and the woman who is now his second wife winning full custody of his son."
Damn_Furries
Follow the Prints
"I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints."
"I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up."
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
No Debt
"As I was being fired from a job, the district manager requested we record the conversation. He thought I was gonna be very upset, so I obliged. Then when he started to tell me why I was being fired he started with, 'You are gonna be graduating college soon, and we want to make sure we get ahead of you leaving us.'"
"I very calmly asked him to send me the recording right after he said that. Then later that day I called a lawyer. I now have no student loan debt."
JRTHEAMAZING
The Screams
"I reminded my ex-wife the divorce court was the next day and was invited to Get F**ked. So I went by myself, she failed to appear and pissed off the Judge so he asked what would be my desired outcome for assets and Custody of the kids. He wrote down whatever I wanted and I could hear her screams when she read the Orders from 3500km away."
comfortablynumb15
Silence
"There's a thing in law enforcement/legalese called a spontaneous utterance. Many many people will bury their own cases with these while bi*ching and moaning at their arresting officer on the way to jail."
raccoonsonbicycles
That last one is good knowledge to have in the back pocket.
We all like different foods, some of which might earn some side-eye from someone who doesn't enjoy them.
But some of our preferences could cross over into the unusual and strange for anyone who's never tried them, and for servers taking those orders, some food combinations might be difficult for them to accept as anything other than a prank.
And no, we're not talking about serving pineapple on pizza.
Redditor Repulsive_Compote955 asked:
"Servers at restaurants, what's the strangest thing someone's asked for?"
A Classic
"When I was cooking in the military, someone requested a BLT sandwich but with no Bacon or Tomato. He wasn't kidding, he just wanted bread and lettuce."
- Xiegfried16
"Here's your L, sir."
- Cutsdeep-
Seafood and Cucumbers
"Flava Flav came into the restaurant I worked at. It was a fancy seafood place."
"He ordered just a plate of cucumbers for himself, everyone else at his table ordered normal things. I’m guessing he maybe doesn’t like seafood? Hilarious."
"Yes, he wore a giant clock chain and he let the staff take pics with him as he said, 'Flava Flav!' Really nice guy."
- janeusmaximus
Salad with No Side of Purple
"Once had a dude order a large garden salad, look me dead a** in the eye, and very seriously said, 'No purple in it.'"
"I just acted like yeah, sure, okay, with no follow-up questions. I ended up picking out anything purple colored in the salad and very nervously watched him pick through it."
"He was satisfied enough and left a decent tip."
"I can never unsee purple things in my salad now, but I eat them."
- waffle-house420
The Mooing Burger
"He was staying at the resort the restaurant I worked at was in, so I had the privilege of attending to him several times over the week."
"He was Insufferably smug and condescending, several times saying, 'This isn't' what I ordered,' even though his order had been read back to him and confirmed. How many times can you order in a restaurant and get something you don't think you ordered before you start to ask if maybe you're the problem?"
"The most ridiculous was that he ordered a hamburger and wanted it cooked rare. So the chef cooked him his burger, and when I brought it out to him, he said, 'It's too overdone, redo it.'"
"So I told the chef, and he made a rare burger, he sent that one back, too."
"Then the chef was p**sed, so he made a patty of raw hamburger and waved a torch over it so it was barely brown and ice cold in the middle."
"The f**ker loved it and said it was the best burger he ever had. Still complained about how long it took to get his meal, though."
"I still remember the chef saying, 'If that's what he wanted, he should have ordered a tartare aller-retour, is it too much to ask that people learn the name of the weird thing they like to eat?' (I have to look up that name every time I tell this story.)"
- McFeely_Smackup
The Inappropriate Order
"When I went to take an order from two men, one grabbed my thigh and said, 'I’ll have you. You look meaty.'"
"The other guy at the table was mortified. I was unamused."
"The other servers wanted to take the table off me but I wasn’t traumatized… just annoyed."
- Bonnieearnold
Flat Water Only
"A middle-aged lady insisted she didn’t like soda water or sparkling water so instead asked for a white wine spritzer without the white wine…"
"There are two ingredients to a white wine spritzer. White wine and soda water."
- rohothemadlad
Cloth Napkins Needed
"In my teen years, I worked at a family restaurant. One day at breakfast an elderly woman came in and just ordered toast with orange marmalade and asked if we had a cloth napkin."
"We only offered paper napkins, but she was very nice, so I found a cloth napkin in the back."
"After spreading out the cloth napkin on the table, from her purse she pulled out a framed picture of an elderly man in an old-style army uniform. She propped up the picture on the table and ate her toast and marmalade with her passed husband by her side."
"I had to go into the back and cry, and when a concerned co-worker asked me why I was crying, she started crying too when I told her about the lady."
- RockPaperLaserPewPew
The Oh No Burrito
"In college, I worked at a burrito shop on campus. One night this guy who was stoned out of his mind ordered a burrito with everything on it, 3x salsa, sour cream, extra beans, meat, rice, everything."
"I could barely wrap the burrito. He walks over and sits at a table and takes one bite and all the burrito contents shot out the bottom."
"He just went, 'Oh no,' and then just started eating it out of his lap and off the table. It was entertaining to watch."
- OneBrokeGuyWh**e
Double the Steak, Double the Fun
"Once a very thin, middle-aged woman came in. She couldn't have weighed more than 100 pounds soaking wet."
"She asked what our biggest steak was. I told her it was the 24 oz. ribeye. She said, 'Okay, I'll have that.'"
" Our steaks came with two sides, so I asked which ones she'd like. She said, 'I don't want sides.' I told her they were included in the price, and she still refused them."
"I brought out her steak and she began eating. She got about a third of the way through when I asked, 'How is everything?'"
"She said, 'Great. Bring me another steak.'"
"I asked, 'Is there anything wrong with that one?'"
"She said, 'No, it's great. I want a second one.'"
"I went back to the chef and told him, and he couldn't believe it. But we served her another steak. She ate all 48 oz. of steak and left me a $40 tip."
- shadownome396
No Small Items
"This man told me he couldn’t have anything that has been 'ground up' at some point. So like, can’t use anything with flour in it. Not because of the gluten, but because it was made small at one point."
"My man, that is not a thing."
- Saltyseabanshee
A Hot Salad
"We had a woman send a grilled chicken salad back because it was cold. So we cooked some new chicken and made sure to send it back while still warm. She sent it back again. The entire salad wasn't hot enough for her."
"We microwaved her salad. She ate it. I don't know, man."
- honestnt
Chicken Noodle Dog
"Chili dog, sub chicken noodle soup for chili."
"She took a bite and said, 'Oh, I made a mistake.'"
- pollyp0cket
The Water Habit
"The place I worked at had little water cups on the table and we kept them filled for customers. I sat a party of two women (who said they were waiting for a third person) and went to fill their water cups."
"When I asked if I should fill the third one or wait for the third person to arrive, one woman said, 'Oh, no need, he's trying to quit.'"
"I thought it was a joke, and when the third person (a man) got there, I went to fill his water. He said, 'No, don't fill it, I'm trying to quit water!'"
- horton_hears_a_homie
The Blended Special
"Guy came in with a large group, must’ve had a recent surgery or something cause he asked for his meal to be blended. He ordered a lasagna..."
- rainysunbun
Shark Tour on the Side
"Honestly, I'd say the weirdest thing was that while I was a server at a restaurant in the Royal Hawaiian, a guest asked me to book a shark adventure tour. It had nothing to do with my job or even the hotel. Those tours were entirely separate businesses."
"I took his black card, went to guest services, picked up a pamphlet, and booked the tour."
"He tipped me $250 dollars. Totally worth it!"
- jreed356
People have all sorts of interesting tastes and needs when it comes to food, so some wild orders can come through the kitchen from time to time.
At least this leaves servers with some interesting stories they can tell over and over again, which is more than many people get in other lines of work.
We know that not all relationships are destined to last forever.
What might begin as an endearing quality becomes annoying, or what starts off feeling like a minor inconvenience might grow to be a serious dealbreaker with time.
Changes like this can end a relationship, and they can do serious damage to the relationship along the way, like to the couple's communication skills, quality time together, and even their sex life.
Redditor Acrobatic_Month_1563 asked:
"What ruins sex life in a marriage?"
The Final Straw
"10,000 little unaddressed disappointments, which drain communication, which fosters negative assumptions, which breeds coldness, which turns to resentment."
"The sex obviously becomes ungood."
- NotSadNotHappyEither
Communication Is Key
"As someone who separated from his wife four.... days ago, communication is a big part of it."
"Communicate clearly that something is wrong, and work to improve little things. Learn about love languages and how to speak your partner's language. I would speak my own to her and she wasn't receptive because she wanted something else."
"Be self-aware so you know when something is bothering you, and tell them right away, don't wait until it's a big deal. Don't be defensive, be open to listening to everything. There's a ton of healthy relationship advice out there but it takes effort."
- crispyconcerto
"Communicating when things are wrong is very important, but it's also a balancing act. There is such thing as communicating too many problems, too often."
"For example, my wife was very very good at pointing out things about me that bothered her. Which is a good thing, normally. But she did it so much, about even the simplest little petty things, that it really made me feel like there was nothing about me or anything I did that was 'right' to her."
"And it also caused me to never point out anything about her that upset me because I didn't want to make her feel the way she was making me feel. So it was just all-around bad: too much communication from her, too little from me."
"And not everything always needs to be a serious, sit-down, heart-to-heart conversation, like, 'Okay honey, I understand now that I didn't center the salt shaker in the middle of the table the way you like it, I'll do it better next time, but do you really need to pull me into the other room and sit me down and have a 25-minute conversation about it, every time?'"
"I think the sweet spot is really somewhere in the middle."
- Asleep_Onion
Stress Goes Both Ways
"Stress. Kids, work, finances, or any other kind of stress. Kiss your libido goodbye until you figure out how to deal with it."
- OrangeMarmalade
"For some people, sex is how they release their stress. For others, they can't have sex if they're feeling stressed. Figure out which you and your partner are."
- JustTheTipAgain
The Nuances of Intimacy
"Not focusing on the intimacy and emotional safety outside the bedroom. The actual act of sex is the shortest part of the sexual process in my case."
- TacoTacoMi
"I've heard it said, 'Foreplay is constant.' Flirting is foreplay, being civil and polite with waitstaff is foreplay, eye contact and reflective listening are foreplay, getting the door is foreplay, bringing a big umbrella on a rainy day date is foreplay, walking them to their car is foreplay, and texting goodnight is foreplay."
"Foreplay begins the moment you begin communicating, so do it wisely and with good intention."
- Crom_Committee
No Emotional Investment
"I will never understand how people can end up with someone they just... don't care about. You don't need to know every single like and dislike, but damn. "What comfort foods my wife likes" should be an easy win."
- Luminaria19
"Dude, I literally overheard this conversation at the grocery store today that makes me wonder how people like this can get married. Let's call them Bill and Dave."
"Bill - What chips are you gonna get?"
"Dave - Uhhh, tostitos with dip."
"Bill - Okay, do your kids like those, though?"
"Dave - I don't know, probably."
"Bill - Well, maybe get them something that they like."
"Dave - Yeah, I'm getting Cheetos, too."
"Bill - Do your kids like those?"
"Dave - Probably, they're Cheetos. I'm sure they like them."
"Then, at the checkout line..."
"Dave - Gotta get some chocolate, it is shark week after all.' Then he proceeds to seemingly pick three chocolate bars at random."
"Bill - Yo, that bar is heavy on the toffee flavor. It's a unique preference, does your wife like toffee?"
"Dave - I don't know, the other two have peanut butter, though."
"Bill - Does she like peanut butter?"
"Dave - Sure, I mean, who doesn't? She likes it once a month at least.' And chuckles."
"Bill has the look on his face like he did the biggest facepalm ever."
"And here I am having online dates cancel on me the day of..."
- TacoTaconomio
Neglected Needs
"If you or your parent neglect each other's needs and fail to communicate, then it becomes a cycle. The time set aside for sex turns into arguments or relationship maintenance and sex falls by the wayside."
"Kids, marriage, getting fat, and not taking care of yourself don’t actively kill the relationship, but they don’t help, but once you stop putting in the effort to please your partner, things stagger on and begin to die."
- KeyStoneLighter
Mental Health Concerns
"Depression."
- SilionOwl
"This is my first thought. We still had an active sex life throughout our kids' childhood. Grief and depression killed our libido. Mine is coming back, but hers isn't. And I don't function unless I feel wanted."
- CountDown60
Relationship Over in One Word
"Resentment."
- lowercaseb86
"A lot of my hetero couple friends have divorced because the guy didn't do housework or childcare. That really builds up the resentment and sex suffers."
- raisinghellwithtrees
Taking Advantage of a Good Routine
"Routine. Unfortunately routine keeps you healthy and mentally focused."
- GiverTakerMaker
"We always have sex in the afternoon on Sunday. Yes, it is a routine but because we both know the routine, we both know not to let people come over or schedule things during that window of time. That's our time. H**l, even our little dog knows to leave us alone then."
- urgent45
When the Chase Ends
"Too many people stop romancing and dating their partners once they get married. Passionless sex is boring and mechanical."
"They say, 'My partner never wants sex anymore.' Well, when's the last time you did anything to help them feel excited about you?"
- v3sk
"I mentioned that to my husband about two and a half years after we married."
"He literally told me, 'I don't have to do that anymore. I married you.'"
"Then there was the excuse of no time and no money. I fixed those problems."
"Then it was, 'I'm too busy. I need to start a business.' So it never happened."
"Over time, my sex drive dwindled, and my resentment grew. Then he was angry about it. That killed it faster."
"Years went by of once-a-week sex, and he was resentful. I was resentful."
"I wanted to fix this. According to him, the whole entire problem was the lack of sex. That will fix everything."
"So you know what I did? I had sex every single day for two months straight. Then we got into an unrelated argument, and he said he never had enough sex during our marriage, and if we both just 'take care of our responsibilities,' everything would be fine."
"So uhm... I guess add entitlement to that."
- Tough_Music4296
Other Obligations
"Kids and work. The whole bedtime routine isn’t exactly a sex-driver, and when they’re asleep, it’s more tempting to just relax after a long day, before falling asleep yourself."
"To get any sex going here, we need to plan for it, and spice things up with lingerie."
- DrAquaSquid
Not That Kind of Roleplay
"Treating your wife like your mother (or a rival sibling) and then expecting them to be attracted to you when you're horny."
- imightbeyourmomma
"Everyone is saying 'the same routine,' but no one is mentioning how absolutely unappealing in every way it is for a man to treat you like you’re his mother/caretaker."
- hec_ramsey
"It should be mentioned more. Though, for the people who read this and decide to get their act together just for sex, don’t bother."
"It isn’t hot either when you know the adult you live with is only putting the dishes in the dishwasher to get sex, rather than respecting the life you are building together."
- nothing_is_perfekt
Chronic Pain
"Constant joint pain. Nothing kills the mood more than getting interested and then having shooting pain in the shoulder or knees."
"Sucks getting old."
- DistinctRole1877
Not Enough Variety
"Not trying new things, years of the same thing can end up with the mind (and some other things) wandering. Not saying it has to be frequent, but occasionally mixing it up is good."
- MonkeyDDeclan
Weak Promises Aren't Sexy
"When they no longer are a person of their word. Few people mention how damaging things like that are to attraction."
"To elaborate a slight bit, my mind was talking more about when someone stops following their dreams, gets complacent, says they'll do better for themselves, AND DOES NOT because they don't take themselves seriously."
- just-going-with-it
"Yes, it was bad enough that he did not value his word, but totally broke my heart when he had the same approach with the kids too. If you don't mean it, don't say it. Worse, don't promise it."
- Experiments-Lady
As fun as relationships are meant to be, they are a lot of work, as well, and require not only continuous commitment to their partner but to keeping the relationship healthy, as well.
Couples who continue dating each other, respect one another, and adapt their relationship with the times are probably the ones who are going to be the most successful and happily married.
Communication and trust are keys to a long-lasting relationship.
But even the best relationships are not without their secrets. Depending on the situation, some information is better left unrevealed so as to protect the relationship.
But is that a violation of trust–even if ignorance is bliss?
That's something that was explored after Redditor spinx248 asked:
"What’s a secret you’ll never tell your spouse or SO?"
Redditors came clean with their emission admissions.
"Remember when we were engaged and visited your mom in the hospital, and she let a fart so rank that your eyes watered and we still talk about it 20 years later?"
"That was me."
– Sarah-JessicaSnarker
It Was Coming From Inside The House
"That I farted and him checking the entire house as well as asking the neighbors if they smelled anything because he thought 'it could be a gas leak' was a waste of time."
– missnewbooty_
These secrets kept the relationship alive.
Monster-In-Law
"Her mother was interfering in our marriage constantly."
"I had an appointment with a lawyer to talk over options for divorce because I couldn't stand it anymore."
"Then her mother died suddenly. Heart attack."
"After the funeral, things got better...and here we are now married for 3 decades."
"She doesn't need to know."
– toTheNewLife
Early Bird
"How we really met…"
"He thinks a mutual friend decided to play matchmaker, which is true, but not the full picture."
"A friend of mine sent screenshots of my SOs dating app profile saying 'I’ve just found your future husband' some light googling led me to discover we shared a mutual friend, I spoke to him and he played matchmaker."
"6 years later, I’m never telling him that I basically stalked him first…"
– caca_milis_
There's no harm in keeping these private.
Potential Game-Over
"That I left the Nintendo Switch you gifted me on a bus. The Switch that you see me using is a replacement that I bought on ebay."
– TurtleGlobe
Pretend Hero
"Sometimes when I shake the kleenex outside, the spider isn't in it."
– ALighterShadeOfPale
"Hahaha once my husband captured a spider i was too scared to get. I was cowering down the hallway when inheard him say 'oops' then a slightly insincere"got 'em" but just a beat too late to be true."
– nebbeundersea
Redditors hid their clumsy attempts to make things right.
H2O-ohhh
"That one time when went camping for 3 nights I left the garden hose on at home full blast and we got a $700 water bill."
– poppinwheelies
Clumsy Repair
"That I chipped our wonderful granite quartz counter (that he picked out) and filled it with white putty. I will take this to my grave."
– Arrowings
Ignorance is bliss, forever and always.
Secret Ingredient
"Early on in our relationship, I made breakfast for my then Girlfriend and her kids using some pancake mix she had in the pantry. After making the pancakes and serving to them, I went to mix up a little more to make mine...and I realized there were some maggots in the dry mix."
"They were pretty much done eating, and telling me how good they were...I decided that ignorance was better than telling them. Taking that one to my grave."
– camafu
Secrets are tricky, but like all other types of confidential information, they have a tendency of slipping out.
A possible breakup can either be blamed on the nature of the secret itself or the deception of concealing it from a significant other.
If you have a secret you're keeping from your loved one, you may want to consider if it's worth coming clean.
On one hand, it can be risky if a hurtful truth can jeopardize the relationship. But think of the advantage of voluntarily owning up to the truth and earning more respect from your SO.
Something to think about.