Jokes With Your Spouse

You typically end up spending the most time with your significant other, so it's apparent you'll end up forging plenty of inside jokes with them. Fortunately, they last as long as the relationship does.

Drinking All The Delicious Juices

It's my username. I used to have a coworker from India who was in his 30's. He said he tried alcohol once in his life and didn't like it. He seemed confused and said, "Why would anyone want to be drinking alcohol when there are many delicious juices??" I never mentioned it to my coworkers but I told my husband and now we take every opportunity we can to use the phrase "many delicious juices". It comes up more than you'd think it could.

ManyDeliciousJuices

Fertility Following You Forever

It's still happening. When my wife and I got married 13 years ago one of her new agey coworkers gave us this little wood carving of a fertility goddess that is so terrible and very much something we would scoff at. As a joke, I put it in her purse for her to find later. The next day I was at work and found it in my bag. So I put it in the pocket of a jacket she doesn't wear all that often. A few months later I found it in my winter boots when I put them on for the first time that season. And on and on it's gone. We talked about it once a few years ago and had a good laugh. It's now years between finding the thing now. As far as I know, it's in one of her travel slippers inside her smaller suitcase. I would check to see if it is but that would ruin it.

Sirnando138

I Grant Thee Permission To Devour Thy Meal!

Thought of one more- my husband and I were on a road trip and it got late but we finally decided we're hungry so we need to stop and eat before there's nothing left open. So we walk into this like average looking restaurant and we can tell we're the a--holes- they wanted to start cleaning up. So then out walks this dude with the weirdest mustache, all of 22 years old and just as pompous as you could be and goes "I AM THE NIGHT MANAGER, I HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO HAVE THEM NOT SERVE YOU!"

And we were like oh man it's cool if it's a big deal we'll leave, so sorry. And he went on AGAIN about how much power he held as the night manager, then gave us...permission? To eat. It was hilarious and now anytime one of us asks for something of the other that's a bit ridiculous (I just laid down...bring me that remote!) the other will reply "AS THE NIGHT MANAGER...." it's become a thing to also throw a blanket around you as if you're a renaissance king speaking to peasants

StMungosHeartHealer

Jokes With Co-Workers

The workplace can sometimes be the thing that beats down your soul like nothing else. However, if you have co-workers with an open sense of humor then anything can become something you can laugh at for years to come.

Was His Name Buddy?

Worked at a big box stores and nearly got a new employee to dress up as an elf for "Elf day" which we told him was always the Friday before Christmas.

My buddy and I were in the break room with him and a few other people. Out of the blue, with no pre arrangements, I asked my friend of he was getting a new outfit for Elf day. We started discussing it like it was just a real and normal thing. The other people in the break room chimed in as well.

The really funny thing was someone that was in there with us left the break room and spread the word that we were trying to get the new guy to dress up like an elf, and to just play along.

We stopped him a week before Elf day when we realized he was planning to buy a $200.00 costume, and asked us if it was good enough.

could_use_a_snack

Argg, Matey

When a friend at work needed an eye patch for a medical reason. He had some time off work and during that time I told everyone (100+ people) that he was working on a ship in the Caribbean and had got a pet parrot. Not one idiot got it 🤣. When my friend got back to work everyone was asking how he enjoyed the Caribbean 🤣. He didn't respond well but his eye got better and he didn't need the patch for long.

pissingintherain1220

Telling People Where To Go

I had a summer prospecting job in a remote "frontier" community. The name of the local "saloon" (bar) was "Hell" (actually, "L'enfer" but I'm telling the story in English, not French). Whenever a stranger came to town, the following "scene" would play out:

"Hey," said the stranger, "the weekend is almost upon us, what do you y'all do for fun on Saturday night?"

"Well, stranger... you can go to Hell."

"Wow. No need to get hostile! I just asked you a question!"

"And I said you can go to Hell."

Mark_Zajac

Too Bizarre To Explain

Then there are those inside jokes which would be too bizarre to explain in casual conversation, usually involving some deep lore or mythology behind them. Fortunately, we're all here on the internet today to learn all about them.

Everyone DUCK!

My friends and I went to the mountains years ago for a bachelor party/trip. We did a day of hiking up a mountain and we ended up at a lake skipping rocks. The best man mentioned he saw a video on YouTube about throwing rock with your non-dominant hand. The best man threw it with his left hand, but lost control, hitting the groom in the face, causing a huge cut on his chin, and you could see into his mouth. Luckily, a random lady at the top offered to drive the groom to the local hospital and get stitches.

And now, any time my friend has to throw anything, a ball, a dice, a rock, we cover our faces.

m1nhuh

Surprising Absolutely No One?

In the early 2000s our conservative, rural school paid Danny Trejo several thousand dollars to come to our town and tell us not to do drugs. Except he never actually told us not to do drugs, he just talked about being in prison, name dropped, and cussed a couple times. Trying to salvage the situation, our school paid for a giant banner to hang in our cafeteria for several years with a Danny Trejo quote about how every good thing that ever happened to him was due to his helping someone else. (He never actually said that during his talk).

The whole situation was kind of ridiculous, but everyone would quote it during any opportunity that remotely had to do with either a) helping someone else or b) having something good happen to them. And paying Danny Trejo to come back and give a "motivational" speech was always suggested any time there was a school-wide issue that needed solving.

AhemExcuseMeSir

Eat It. EAT IT.

I went to a Catholic School, and we were showed a video in religion class at one point. In the video, Jesus told Peter, "If you love me, feed my sheep" but me and a friend misheard it as "If you love me eat my sheep." So since that day, we've randomly said "Eat my sheep" during very serious moments to break tensions and it's still hilarious.

guessitseiryn

Seems Like They're Going To Set Sail And Never Come Back

Ever since we were little, my sister and I would use the term 'mysterious boating accident' for murdering someone. So even today, when someone wrongs us, we'll say, "I think they're going to get in a mysterious boating accident" and now all of our friends use it too.

Kikabennet

Inside jokes truly are the best.

Hope you all get to be part of one some day.