Everyone loves a good comeback story––perhaps that's why seeing people having a rough go at life troubles us so much. We keep thinking of who they could be if only things turned around.
After Redditor ipeeontoiletseats (what a name) asked the online community, "How did you turn it around?" people shared their stories... and brought a smile to our faces.
"A friend called on my way..."
I got injured in a car accident (rear ended). Lost my business and my wife of 19 years eventually left for another man, leaving behind a 17 year old daughter and 2 year old son.
No job, No car, No money. 2 kids and $2k a month in rent coming due.
Two days after she left I took my real estate license test. I PASSED! I had planned to surprise her but had hid that I was studying in case I failed. Either way it wasn't enough and I ended up taking a job at Amazon. I worked a graveyard shift while my daughter stayed home with my son. I also did open houses on the weekend in hopes someone would walk in unrepresented...
It still wasn't enough so I signed up to drive Uber and lift. I had been able to pick up a decent vehicle from a family member for cheap and I was in business. I switched my graveyard shift to a day shift and started driving through the nights. The money was alright but I realized I could make a little more if I switched from Amazon to another large company in the area, so I did. I did that for about a year
Things were ok, I was making good money and then Coldwell Banker fired me. I didn't think Coldwell fired anyone as long as they were paying their dues. I had never sold a house so all it meant was I needed to switch to another broker. Turns out that was a blessing in disguise.
A friend called on my way to sign with Keller Williams and convinced me to sign with a temp agency. I was skeptical but what did I have to lose? The first and second day I was placed with Toll Brothers. It was alright and I could see myself doing that. On the third day I was sent to a local developer and my world was changed.
The broker of record and the local developer took me under their wing. After a few months they hired me away from my temp broker, gave me a salary and commissions and provided me with an opportunity to change my kids' lives forever. I was able to go from working 4 jobs to just one and I have learned more about myself than I could have ever imagined possible.
It's been three and a half long years but I wouldn't change a thing if I could.
"After four months..."
When I was a teenager I was homeless. A lot of places wouldn't hire me because I had no experience or interview clothes. I went to the board of education and begged the HR lady to give me a chance at any job. I told her I'd scrub the school with a toothbrush if they paid me. She took pity.
They made me a general sub for clerical. I took a call for one of the "bad neighborhood" schools that some others turned down. Walked across town to get there every day do I had to start walking at 4:30 am to be on time. I wore dress clothes from a church mission that were way too big but I did my best.
After four months they gave me a long-term position. Then a permanent one with benefits. I saved up enough for an apartment (finding a landlord okay with renting to an 18 year old homeless girl was hard) and started college.
I haven't been homeless a day since in the last 15 years. I even have a house now.
"I'm almost at the point..."
Reading more and using social media less. I'm almost at the point where I can just delete reddit. Almost.
"I decided to stop comparing myself..."
I decided to stop comparing myself to my brother and try to focus on the improvable.
"Paid off my debts..."
Paid off my debts slowly but surely and worked my @ss off to buy a house. Took years but it was worth it.
Moving out of my parents house.
I was living with my parents (which is very common thing in India) until end of my med school. I've been in my comfort zone all my life and had everything I need. That led to depression and I wanted to live by myself and to get out of my bubble. Now I can't say I figured it all but I definitely feel better.
"I heavily reduced..."
I heavily reduced sugar when I was 21 and started resistance training . 2 years later and I am feeling the best I have ever felt, have so much energy and self confidence because I actually like the way I look now. Clothes fit so much better as well.
Realizing I dont have to act like someone Im not just to be liked by everyone. Changed my life choices and it made me a much happier man. I wish Ive done it sooner and not on my late 20s. So much wasted time.
"It helped me break out of OCD..."
Went to the gym.
It helped me break out of OCD induced psychosis and brought me back to reality and have been going everyday since - Had to replace it with exercising in the park during the peak of COVID though.
"I used to hate myself."
I used to hate myself. I had a lot of anxiety throughout middle school and high school. I didn't know how to describe how I was feeling and it cost me my relationships with friends and a girl I dated for a short time. It nearly destroyed my relationship with my parents and my family because I would always say I was fine when I and they knew I wasn't, some part of me wished I never existed.
When I graduated high school in 2017 and I didn't talk to most of the friends I had left and didn't really know what to do. And In mid 2018 I was talking to a friend who was visiting from out of state who said that he had dealt with the same thing and said that if I tried to thinking positively and try to stay relaxed when I'm starting to feel anxious, it might help. And over the last two years I've been doing that.
It wasn't easy at first, but it's getting easier. I've started talking to friends and my relationship with my family is getting better, I even have a great relationship with my extended family too. I'm still working on expressing how I feel and socializing.
If anyone reading this takes anything away from this post, I hope it's that you know that you'll find you way eventually, don't rush, you'll get it, I know I am.
"Now I'm happy..."
Delaware Valley Job Corps. And moving away from every bad element of my life. Now I'm happy, healthy and looking forward to getting married in a few years. This all happened over the course of 10+ years.
"Paired wih an antipsychotic..."
Magic mushrooms every 10 days has radically transformed my life in every way. Paired with an antipsychotic, I've been able to pretty thoroughly undo the phenomena that results from my bipolar disorder and become a lot less miserable.
"I got married..."
I got married and became more responsible, actually showed up to work and paid my bills. Unfortunately, we divorced a few years ago. But we get along great and have two wonderful children.
"This was the best thing to ever happen to me..."
I experienced a horrible falling out with the person I lived with so I moved out. This was the best thing to ever happen to me because I realized I surrounded myself with people that didnt think highly of me and that colored how I thought of myself and what I was capable of. It also taught me a lesson in letting go when a situation is no longer worth pursuing.
A month after moving out, I was offered a job in another state making 25% more. I took it and traveled to 11 different states. Had a lot of memorable experiences that I would not have had otherwise: went to disney world during halloween, kayaked in bioluminescent waters, hiked grandfather mountain, sailed, etc.
I also started dating people that thought the world of me. I didnt know what that felt like until I left my old life behind. Even breaking up and moving on in a mature manner was another new experience for me.
I really feel like I came a long way. I am loved, I am financially secure and I surround myself with good people that I want to emulate in my day to day life. Don't let anyone else tell you what your worth is. Their limited experiences cannot fathom anything great that happens to you.
"I met a guy in 2017..."
I met a guy in 2017 and we decided to move to a small town in Arizona after just 3 months of knowing each other. I realized 6 months after that he was an abusive control freak and I was in a bad spot. I was in a pretty bad situation. I had been lower that before ( abusive childhood, attempts to kill myself, self harm), but this time I was in a strange place with no family close. I felt trapped. Then, kinda suddenly, I started to realize how much control I had over the situation. I made a lot of money as a waitress and was the breadwinner. So I started saving my money and not mentioning anything to my SO. The final straw for me was his threats to my life. He pointed a knife at me and himself, at one point throwing the knife at me.
So I took the car one day to the laundromat claiming to wash some stuff. I called my father ( he lives 4 hours away) and told him everything. I was so afraid for my life as I drove to the police station ( in my SO's car that we shared). I was in that police station for almost 8 hours. I had no where else to go. I sat there and waited for my dad to get the chance to drive up and help me decide what to do.
My life changed so drastically in the matter of days. With the money I had saved and my dad by my side, i was able to get the majority of my stuff for my old house, including many houseplants and my cat, and start my new life.
I bought a house on my own, a pretty new car, and still be able feed myself and my cat. I had so many people who were willing to help me with some of the little things and I made some amazing friendships through it all.
Now almost a whole year later, I feel like a different person. I am in a healthy relationship for probably the first time ever and I am completely independent. I also have my dream job and the perfect schedule for me. I believe the true way I turned my life around was realizing I couldn't control everything in life, but one thing I could control was who I gave my time to and how I spend my time. I also decided to be confident in myself and honest to others about what I want. I started to go after what I had only dreamed about before. I feel so lucky and thankful for everything I have and the people that helped me. I feel like me for the first time ever. I will never again apologize for being who I wanna be.
"It forced me..."
I moved away from my hometown to get away from friends and family. It forced me to become independent and focus on a career and myself.
I made a mess of my life in my 20s. It started with not knowing how to handle the stress I was under in college, in combination with social crap and years of undiagnosed anxiety and depression coming to a head. I got through college via a series of band aids and short term fixes, and after college wound up in an abusive relationship with a compulsive liar with control issues and an obsession with his public image. I allowed him to put me in debt so deep that I had to file for bankruptcy. And then I continued to support him for over a year.
This is all kept vague because I've got a million stories about how I messed up the first half of my life and alienated all of my friends. Then, I got a very loud wake up call after I broke up with the abusive boyfriend, and this is how I turned it around.
I changed my environment. I moved to be away from the toxic ex and the people who weren't there for me when I was neck deep in trouble, and to be closer to my sister.
I went to a doctor and got the medication I needed to keep my mood stable. This had additional ups and downs, but in the end I have the meds I need to have a stable mood.
I made a decision that I needed to be happy with myself before I could be happy with another person, and that I deserved to be picky about who I dated. Because of that decision I passed on a guy who turned out to only be nice on the surface, and wound up with the wonderful person I'm with now - and we'll have been together ten years in December.
I figured out what I need to be satisfied in life and set my goals around that.
And I learned to be better with my money, and to put myself and my own well being first.
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Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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