Image by ArtCoreStudios from Pixabay

The problem with history is we never get to see how any of it turns out until long after the fact. Who was right? Who was wrong? Was 2020 the worst year of the current century? We'll never live long enough to know the answers to these questions (except that last one, because, come on, this past year was horrendous) but the following entries have people already breaking down some well-known historical lies.

Reddit user, u/sad-talking_head, wanted to hear about:

What are some historical lies that people generally believe?

Probably Should Drop This Stereotype Soon

That France surrenders at everything. France has the highest count of victories tho.


Hell, just under Napoleon alone, the rest of Europe had to ban together to fight France off 5 times, and they were close affairs at that.

For most of its history, France was pretty darn good at winning.


He Was My Idol...

Salieri and Mozart actually got along quite well. If they did have a rivalry, it was merely professional.

Salieri didn't promise his chastity to god, or if he did he didn't follow through because he got married and had kids.

Salieri didn't have to manipulate the emperor to earn favour with him. He was a well respected composer, and one of the richest men in the country at the time.

Amadeus is a great film, but it's a good thing that it doesn't start with "based on a true story". At least it's honest... I'm looking at you Braveheart!


This One Comes Up Quite A Bit

That Napoleon was short, he was of average height by those times.

French just used the different scale of measurement.


Selling Your Own BS

Hitler didn't become a monster because he was kicked out of art school.

He was a neckbeard bouncing around Vienna filling his head with all sorts of bullsh-t "philosophy" and well on his way to becoming a monster when someone suggested that he look into an art and architecture program at some school. He made a half-a--ed application which was denied and he continued to sell little paintings to get by while he read all his crazy books. He trumped up the kicked out of art school story in Mein Kampf.


A Classic Naming Mixaround

That Iceland was named Iceland by the vikings to try to try to trick colonists into not colonizing when in fact the reason is that when the first people landed on iceland it was winter and the viking that named it saw a lot of ice and promptly named it as such


Are you sure you aren't confusing this? The story I have heard is that Greenland was named that way to trick colonists into sailing there and wasting time and resources.


Greenland was named to attract settlers but Iceland wasnt named with any simalar intent. Fun fact about Greenland, it was actually named by someone who was exiled from Iceland.


The Transition Of Ages Is Not So Cut And Dry

That the Roman Empire fell in 476 AD and then it was the dark ages.

In reality, a peasant living through 476 probably wouldn't have realized they were living through the end of one age and the start of another. The beginnings of feudalism had already started back during Diocletian's reign, barbarians warbands and barbarian roman troops had been a fact of life for generations. The barbarian king who deposed Augustulus still considered himself a rightful representative of the Empire, etc. In some ways, the fall of Rome was sudden and traumatic (the population of Rome itself absolutely cratered in the 400's, after all), but it was really more of a gradual, centuries long transition than a fall.


Simple Solution To Simple Problems. All You Have To Do Is Look.

"NASA spent millions on developing a pen for space. The Russians used a pencil." [suggesting NASA isn't very intelligent]

They were perfectly correct to make a pen for space. A pencil would have released loads of tiny graphite particles during use, which would float around and interfere with electronics.


Maybe Not The "Hottie" In The Way Modern Society Would View

That Cleopatra was some sort of otherworldly beauty who mesmerized every man she met. Ancient historians were more impressed/scandalized by her intelligence and ability to manipulate as easily as she breathed, and it wasn't until centuries later than she began to develop this reputation as a sexy seductress.

Cleopatra's ancestors were big fans of incest (the sixteen roles of her great-great-grandparents were filled by just six individuals), and members of the Ptolemaic dynasty had a reputation for being...odd-looking. Cleopatra, reportedly, was above-average-looking compared to others in her family, but according to historians like Plutarch, the general consensus was that "her beauty… was in itself not altogether incomparable, nor such as to strike those who saw her."


Sounds Like The "Nikola Tesla" Of Ancient Libraries

Almost anything involving the Library of Alexandria.

No, the Library of Alexandria was not the sole repository of knowledge in the ancient world. There were many other great libraries such as the one in Pergamum as well as many, many other collections.

No, we did not lose countless important works that could only be found there. The Library worked on copying works, and any important writings could easily be found in other libraries around the world.

No, we wouldn't be living in a utopia if it didn't burn because it was the centre of learning. The Library was in serious decline for almost a century before it burned. When Ptolemy VIII banned all foreign scholars from Alexandria, they moved to other libraries, and as Ptolemaic rule became less stable and the position of head librarian became a political position the prestige of the Library faded.

No, Julius Caesar did not burn it down on purpose. While he was besieged in Alexandria his troops set fire to some ships on the docks and the fire accidentally spread. However, it is unsure of how much of the Library was truly destroyed, as we know the Mouseion survived, and at any rate we know much was rebuilt later, with Mark Antony supposedly gifting some 200,000 scrolls to the Library, and Claudius built an additional to it during his reign.

No, the Christian Crusaders did not burn down the Library because they hated knowledge. First of all they didn't even attack Alexandria during the major Crusades (they would during a later minor one) besides they would be almost a 1000 years too late, as the last recorded evidence of the Library dates back to the middle of the 3rd Century, and any vestiges of the Library, which would have been a minor shell of its hight as Roman and Greek scholarship had long moved to other centres. At any rate what remained would have been destroyed during either Aurilian's attack of the city in 272 CE or Diocletian's in 297 CE.


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Sometimes the things that come out of peoples' mouths are truly astounding. It makes you wonder, where did things go wrong? Why are they like this? As Forrest Gump once said, “stupid is as stupid does".

Here are a few of the most jaw-dropping lay stupid things that have been said by actual human beings. Not aliens trying to figure out how humans communicate--ACTUAL human beings. Thanks, Reddit.

U/cperr310 asked: What's the dumbest thing you or someone you know has said?

First up, what better people to hear ridiculous claims from than children? Here are some people that even teachers couldn’t help.

Well, that’s awkward.

I was in 5th grade like 20 years ago, and I am a male which is important later. My school changed an extra girls locker room into a computer lab. When my class got to go check it out, I say "wow, it looks so different!".

Everyone looks at me like I'm a creep. What I meant to say was "wow it looks so different that the boys locker room!" I still think about this when trying to fall asleep more often than I'm comfortable with.

Xeeke No it’s not.

War Guy GIF Giphy

In my Spanish class where they were talking about Spanish countries

"What about Syria...isn't Syria Spanish?"

Worst part... NOBODY called her out on it to the point I was questioning myself. The professor had good English but it wasn't her first language and she dodged her question saying she's only going over countries in south america. I had to literally write myself a note that she literally asked that question. Then I got paired up with her like 10 minutes later for a group activity and I still wasn't over this question lol


Fake but also real but also demonic?

A kid in high school tried to convince me that men had an extra rib and that the earth is only a few thousand years old. Same kid said that ouija boards were full of magnets and gears which made them fake, yet they were simultaneously completely real and needed to be burned on sight to prevent demonic possession.


But sometimes it’s the parents of children who say the dumb stuff.

Back in 2014 I still vividly remember we were eating dinner, and my brother is chewing with his mouth open while my sister is talking. My dad, still thinking about her talking but talking to my brother said "Talk with your mouth closed." and my sister just went silent immediately.


Stupid can turn into ignorant really quickly. Here are a few examples of the not-so-harmless kind of dumb statements.​

Fun fact: they don’t use the US Constitution in New Zealand. Who knew?

angela rye guns GIF by Third Rail with OZY Giphy

After the church shooting in New Zealand, they banned guns. My coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the second amendment. We live in California.


Everyone knows New Zealand is the state below New Canada.


Uhhhhh that’s racist af.

Not to me but my husband.

He had to take an uber home from the Naval Base in San Diego (car was getting fixed) and the guy who picked my husband up was from Pakistan and they had small talk, telling him how he moved over here etc, dude was pretty cool.

My dumbass half sister whom we were staying with for a bit told him straight to his face, "Oh since you're military he probably wanted to like... murder you."

...What a f*cking ignorant, racist thing to say.


Just gonna leave this one here....

"And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, because you see it gets in the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that out."


Well that’s a new one.

A trans friend got "You're registered as a man here, so I need to hear a male voice to complete the verification of your acount."

Not the first time the cable company pulled this 'female' account 'female' voice / 'male' account 'male' voice crap. But that one time was on a whole other level.


But most of the time, dumb statements are harmless, and make for a good story down the line.​

I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face either.

alvin and the chipmunks GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy

A few questions I've heard come to mind, I'm not sure which is the best/worst.

A few years ago my mom, in her 60s at the time, asked me if chipmunks grow up to be squirrels. Have you ever tried to keep a straight face while explaining to the grown-ass woman who was responsible for keeping you alive for ~18 years that chipmunks and squirrels are different animals?

In high school during a Spanish class as student asked "Do Spanish-speaking people think in Spanish?" After being told yes, her follow-up question was "Are they born speaking Spanish?" The teacher kept a straight face explaining that foreign language speakers learn their language the same as the student learned English, but there were a lot of other students laughing and brutally mocking her.


Ah yes, the two types of guitars.

Dumbest thing I ever asked was, "do you prefer playing electric or air guitar?" I really meant to say acoustic, like my dad's.


Air guitar. I don't know how to play the acoustic or electric guitars, but I never get a wrong note on the air guitar.


Did you change your birthday?

At the bank.

Teller: Is your phone number still 123-4567?

Me: Yes

T: Is your address still 123 Easy st?

M: Yes

T: Is your birthday still 01/01/2000?

M: laughing I sure as hell hope so


I can't even make fun of these. One time I asked my husband where the Newport Ferry sailed to.

Newport, obviously.

I think we all have slip-ups in our brains sometimes. It's part of being human, and hey, they stay alive as inside jokes for generations to come