It's all fun and games until we all lose eyes and other appendages. But even when you lose a limb... it's a heck of a story. ;) Who hasn't come up with a few ways every now and again to send a little shock into someone's heart? Jumping out from behind corners is child's play.... time to step it up. And maybe get it on video for TV.
Redditor u/Adventure84 wanted to what naughty jokes we've all indulged in towards others by asking.... What evil prank have you pulled off?
She never caught on.
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Gradually over the course of two weeks moved my coworker's monitors closer to the front edge of the desk. Like 1/4" per move. Until they were so close the keyboard barely fit.
"Stupid small desk," she grumbled, near the end.
I then moved them back, just as slowly, over a few weeks.
She never caught on. busted_up_chiffarobe
Ahoy Mates...
I used to work for a cruise line. A passenger asked if the crew lives on the ship full time. I and my co-worker explained that no, the crew leaves every night to fly back to Miami and then returns each morning. She walked away satisfied. After that cruise was over, our manager was sharing the passenger evaluations with us and was confused about one in particular.
It was a woman who had stayed on deck 14 and had complained that she couldn't sleep at night because of the noise of the crew helicopter.
Fact 1: 1,200 crew do not leave every night but do live on the ship.
Fact 2: that ship didn't even have a helipad.
Question: wtf was she hearing every night. persistent_polymath
Not my Liquid...
People in school used to always take my Gatorade. So I took an empty bottle, filled it with dyed salt water, and let them take my drink. Not gonna lie, it was hilarious watching one person to spit salt water in the middle of class only for their unbelieving friend to do the same. mc_freak2013
Broken strings....
Over a decade ago I worked in the warehouse of a Guitar Center. We dealt with inventory, shipping and receiving. We had a dumpster behind the store in a shared parking lot that people would leave random things in even though it was not a public dumpster. One day we found a a broken beach chair in an open cardboard box.
The box had a shipping label on it. It was left in such a way that it was easy to assume that the chair/box combo was left by the same person. We packed the beach chair in another box and shipped it back to the customer. I wish I was there to see the person's face when they received their trash back via UPS. NJtoTheBay
The Last Marshmallow....
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Picked out every last marshmallow from my sister's box of lucky charms. Then took a photo of me eating a bowl of just charms, printed it, and put in the bottom of the bag. I then sealed the bag back up, hot glued the box and back in the pantry it went. CarnivorousConifer
The Foot Traffic....
One night I replaced every framed object in my bosses office with a picture of me making a stern face. Posters, certificates, photos, etc. Took like 3 hours because he had like 30 framed things in his office. The next day I made sure I was out doing field work to make him sit with it most of the day. He had a lot of foot traffic to look at his office that day. captbadass26
No Touching....
I lived in Korea for a bit. When my mom came to visit I told my Korean girlfriend it was an American custom to greet older women by touching elbows. I told my mom the same story about Korean customs. It was a thing of beauty. They were not pleased. wafflepark
chaos ensued.....
I remember it like it was yesterday. At summer camp my cabin's leaders found a little snake that wasn't doing so well so they decided to put it in an old terrarium in our cabin. A few of the guys were nervous about it. So the next day when the leaders decided the snake was well enough to release, I asked that they keep quiet about releasing it. when the other guys got back to the cabin and found no snake in the terrarium, chaos ensued. The_Mantis-O-Shrimp
Cue Me....
My manager had left me in charge of the store when I was 16 (not legal but that's a whole other mess) for a whole weekend. Saturday went well and I was happy with how I went, although my paranoid brain is always concerned about whether or not doors are actually locked. I'm the same with my house, but the store was worse. So I make my dad drive down to the store to double check that everything is okay.
Fifteen minutes later I get a phone call from him saying "[manager] and the police are here because the door was unlocked and people were inside." Cue to me on the floor in tears hyperventilating, while my dad is telling my mum (who had since picked up the phone) that he was only kidding and that everything was fine. MsJacq
Steel Toed...
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Welded a co-workers boot to the floor. He had worn out the toe caps on his steel toed boots. While he was making a weld kneeling inside a large piece of equipment (on steel) I put a small tack weld on his boot so he had trouble breaking it loose and getting up. Snakebiteloo
War Face GIF
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Apparently, their sense of humor has no bounds. Curious to hear from drill sergeants online, Redditor darkstalker1000 asked:
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
Longheld Punishment
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
Confusing Paycheck
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
Eye-Level Reprimand
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
The Stain
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
– ScootaFL
Ambush Training
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
The Replacement
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
– Konebred
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.