To be born into a cult is to be born at a disadvantage. From the onset, you are living in a community forged by people who wish to be with one another led by people looking to take advantage of that desire. You're unable to move freely with so many blind eyes and, unfortunately, the cult may not always have your best interests at heart and all you can do to free yourself is run away. Cults leave lasting impacts, no matter what coat of paint they put on it.
Reddit user, u/eZombiegglover, wanted to know what this kind of upbringing was like when they asked:
People who have been born into families who are part of a cult, what's your story?
It'll Really Just Throw You Off The Whole Thing, You Know?
My parents were Scientologist with my dad being a pretty high ranking guy (He "ran" two major cities in the late 80s). They left when I was still young but they used to harass our family a lot when I was growing up.
Made me very distrustful of organized religion in general.
My mom is now a super atheist and my dad, even though he left 30 years ago, still believes in a lot of the tenets, especially the reincarnation part/thetans. He's just not active and doesn't press it on me (or anyone else) in any way.
Loneliness Breeds Insanity
I grew up in southwest Ohio, but we drove to Virginia for church. It was on a gravel road in the mountains and didnt have electricity. But it did have rattlesnakes and copperheads. We would make the 5 hour drive each way and service was 4 hours long. People would dance around speaking in tongues when the spirit would move on them, and then others would get the snakes out of the box up front and play with them.
It wasnt scary, because it was all I ever knew. Then one day when I was 13 I realized it was all a sham. There was a new family there, who had just moved into the town and were looking for a church. This preacher spent the entire 4 hours talking and yelling and ranting about how it was a sin and abomination for a man to have hair on his face. All because this new guy had a beard. They completely chastised and singled out this poor man in front of his wife and kid. Even at 13 I knew that wasnt right. That was the last time I went to church. I'm 35 now.
I was born into a cult in Indianapolis, IN called the CII (Church in Indianapolis). Most of this information is remembered from a young age or through stories from my father or one short conversation from a woman I grew up with in the cult who reached out to me after herself leaving. My father met the leader through his employer. It is/was a Christian based teaching. The cult grew to such a size that members around the country would move to Indy and live in the same complexes or same neighborhoods to accommodate the requirements of involving other members in your day to day routines (grocery shopping, homeschooling, dinner, travel etc.) The leader is male, his name is Mike Peters. (A google search will provide this information there are a few articles written about the CII) Though led by a male, many females (who were heavily encouraged not to work and to homeschool their children through adulthood thus having more direct contact with Peters) were taught that "worldly" men weren't safe. Eventually some women were taught that their own husbands weren't safe which led to many divorces and relocations once you got the "tap on the shoulder" that you or your family weren't following God's guidance. I remember thinking it very strange that we were not safe to be checked out by a male cashier at a grocery store, that we had to wait in a much longer line to be seen by a female; and beyond that, we had to go grocery shopping with other women from the group.
When my grandmother passed, my father was cautioned not to go to her funeral without a chaperone. Our family went on vacation without another family from the cult and my father had an intervention with some of the leaders. Modesty (sexual repression) was highly maintained. Purity/abstinence, not looking at the shirtless man jogging down the street, no make up, no "flashy/wild/worldly" colors or patterns, no nail polish. My mother would edit books I read with a black marker that involved any sensitive wording involving secular holidays, kissing, magic or harsh words. She would supervise me while playing with dolls. I remember meeting my extended family for the first time and being taught not to call them "aunt" "uncle" "grandpa/ma" etc. We didn't celebrate birthdays or Christmas until we were a little older (still elementary aged) and no other holidays were allowed, aside from 4th of July or non-pagan holidays.
My family moved away from the cult and have since separated. My mother never wanted to leave and is still a CII sympathizer while my father was the one who made it all happen. Thus, I experienced many different versions of my childhood explained to me. My mother told me my father was evil, my father told me my mother was disillusioned. Who's a young child to know the truth? Over the years, my family has made adjustments to the outside world and have made steps towards the healing process though not unscathed from the malicious teachings we were all subject to at a young developmental age. I am able to maintain a low contact (occasionally NC) with my mother by setting and maintaining emotional and physical boundaries. My father and I have been NC for most of the past year. I'm happy to add my sibling and I have a healthy and happy ongoing relationship.
No One Can Talk About It
I wasn't born into one but my parents got involved in hard core Old Testament Christianity just as I hit puberty at 13. It was catastrophic. At 16 I went to my school counselor who took me to Child Services who took me to a doctor who almost cried after my examination & I went into foster care.
The hardest part is while none of my siblings participate in this faith anymore none of us talk. I can function for a few years but I inevitably go off the rails despite therapy & hard self work. Relationships don't survive this turmoil
Lessons You Keep For The Rest Of Your Life
My grandparents basically run a cult. I grew up in isolation and didn't get out until I was 18. It took some time understanding how to "fit in" with normal people. Losing the "foundation" I was raised on was really hard and made me very unstable during my late teens early 20's. We were raised to do nothing but work (physical labor), which has actually come in very handy. I'm still a major loner, which is difficult because I think I'm slightly more extroverted than introverted, but I just have a hard time trusting and opening up to people. I have scars that make people uncomfortable.
Navigating my family's weird demands and emotional abuse made me quite aware, so I've adapted quickly. Also, knowing all the psychological tricks that they used on us and others has made me really good at persuasion and marketing. I'm weary of being manipulative though, so I try to be as straight forward as possible bc it makes me feel gross. I'm basically 25 now and have a degree and a job and a spouse.
Despite the fact that family left the cult, we still aren't close and I don't think we ever will be. Too much at stake. What if one them goes back, etc... I was surprised at the ease of which they let us leave. My grandparents have about 20 other followers. All related to each other, but none related to my grandparents. There's a lot of obvious incest going on. The third generation is quite.... Unfortunate.
Television Tells You The Truth
I remember the day my wife said to me "Honey, I think we might be in a cult." I was so sure we weren't, because when you're in a cult you hear so often that you're in a cult that it backfires and you just know that everyone else is wrong. She had been watching a tv series on fundamentalist cults, and saw so many parallels that it worries her.
I wasn't so convinced until I looked at Hassan's work on cult mind control, and realize "holy sh-t, I'm in a cult." The LDS church manipulates people by seeking to control their behavior, information, thoughts, and emotions. They are textbook in a lot of ways.
Now, I have to differentiate. There are Cults with a capital C like Scientology or the Moonies. There are also cults with a little c that are less obvious. The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as the Mormon church, is a "little c cult."
I've been a member for 33 years. I grew up in the church, was a leader as a youth, served a two year mission (which life on a mission is Cult with Capital C), went to a church university, married another church member in the exclusive temple, raised my kids in the church, and was president of my local Elders Quorum when things came crashing down a few months ago.
Mormonism is a high-demand, fundamentalist religion. This means they have a literal interpretation of their scriptures and expect a lot out of you. Along with paying 10% tithing to the church, each member is expected to have a "calling." This is where the local leader receives revelation from God as to where you need to serve. Sometimes callings take a couple extra hours per week, sometimes it's a part time job (all callings are unpaid, of course, until you get to the top). The church keeps you busy with a myriad of obligations.
Core to Mormonisms literal belief is that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and that the church is the only true and loving church on the planet.
The church will teach it's members a worldview where everything supports that "the church is true." God help you find your car keys? Church is true. Had a bad day? Church is true. Found peace in a scripture? Church is true. Someone shares facts about the church that make you feel icky feelings inside? They are anti-Mormon and the church is true.
They even teach that if you don't know the church is "true," you should get in front of the congregation and tell them it is true until you believe it. After all "a testimony is found in the bearing of it."
After my wife brought up that we may be in a cult, I broke through the church's mental stranglehold on information, started looking at the church's history from additional sources other than the "approved" curriculum.
Joseph Smith was a convicted conman who told his neighbors stories of treasure buried in hills found with his magical rock, guarded my ancient spirits, and connected to Indian ancestors. In a time where everyone and his dentist had a "Methodist conversion story", Joseph claimed to see God, that he was "led" to ancient treasure buried in a hill, guarded by an ancient angel, and translated by the very same rock he used to con his neighbors. He went on to continue conning people out of the money with various bank fraud and land speculation cons, and claimed to translate an Egyptian papyrus (which we have, and it doesn't translate to what he said it does).
Above all, Joseph claimed God forces him to marry his friends wives, and to marry young girls including a foster daughter. He died in a shootout when he was arrested for destroying a printing press, and held in Carthage on charges of treason.
The core of the church, it's truth claims, we're utter bull sh-t. It crushed us. It was the most painful experience I have ever dealt with. I was suicidal and depressed, which I've learned is a natural part of escaping. My wife and I and our kids are out and have never been happier.
Since finding out, we chose integrity over loyalty and are out. My wife's mom all but disowned her. My family is a little cold, though I hope they warm up again. Lots of families are strained if you leave. They say you don't get your family in the afterlife if you leave.
Seeing it all from the outside it's obvious, but I had zero capacity to understand I was in a cult while I was in it. Zero.
TLDR: raised in a cult until I leaned it wasn't God's "one true and living church." My wife and I broke away and are so much happier.
How Do You Trust Anyone Afterwards?
I was born into a pretty big cult. Been out for 4 years but the damage never really goes away. It leaves you without a family, without any ability to make or maintain friendships, and with an almost paralysing distrust of anyone and anything religious. I would argue that the last one isn't entirely undeserved but it's gotten in the way of a few conversations before.
Got years of counselling and therapy ahead of me to unpick the mess they made of me.
My partner was raised in a cult and I definitely see some of what you said in him. I think he misses having a community, but obviously doesn't actually want to maintain relationships with his family friends who are all members of the cult. Add on to that the layer that his parents and sister are just truly horrible people and I know he feels pretty alone. He is also very distrustful/disdainful of anything non scientific.
You Start To See Through The Cracks
I was born into Scientology. We would go to church often and while I was technically never forced to do courses everyone, family and staff are very pushy on you to attend and do services. Our family disconnected from others when they got SP declares so I would lose friends randomly throughout childhood.
Most of it is reading books written by Hubbard and attending events where people beg/demand money to save the world from psychiatry. They really push on people that the world is evil and falling apart but thankfully you're a Scientologist and this group is going to save the world.
I stopped believing when I realized how much Scientology operates like a business. "Free stress test!" On every f-cking window. Can you imagine if Catholic Churches had gaudy banners advertising "Free confessionals!" Today?
The other event is called the Golden Age Of Knowledge. Every test and bridge level was rebranded and re-edited and they had members purchase sh-t they already owned. So for years no one was getting Scientology. Instead of apologizing, giving refunds, or issuing credit staff say "Isn't this great?!" They've stolen tens of thousands of dollars from people and there isn't a goddamn shred of remorse. They just want more money.
I got extremely lucky and had wonderfully friends that helped me get out. I couldn't have done it without it them.
Cut Off Their Hold At The Source
A distant family member of mine headed a "new age" cult that I got roped into when I left home and went to college closeby. It started out as a group of friends of theirs that I became close to, cause they were the only family around, but then things escalated quickly. It went from love bombing, which I really needed because my family had gone through a terrible divorce and family was never the same after that, to soon after becoming my one and only family.
The cults beliefs were that the love and the connections that we all had with one another were the hope for the future. And the family member who formed this cult was the original creator of everything, and then was supposed to turn everything over to us, the "group" whose love could take things over.
Of course, the group always failed and we were always in trouble, and in order to become right we would have to give away our money and time to very hard, manual labor until we were exhausted. We were so exhausted that anything you told us we would believe.
Well, after a death in my immediate family I stopped showing to the events and meetings of the cult that I normally would, I was given a break. During that break I reflected and realized I needed to get out. I lived on site with that family member so it wasn't easy and I was in limbo for a while... still doing manual labor but not fully committed like I was before. I was working, and I met my current partner who eventually realized what was going on and helped me out. We moved in together and I have since cut 100% of my ties, without ever giving any reason.
I feel a lot of it was dealing with extreme narcissism from the leader, so that is really the best way to get out of that situation. To leave unannounced and abruptly.
At Least Try And Get A Good Story Out Of It
My closest friend in college (we'll call him C) moved to Cali after he graduated. We kinda lost touch after a year or so. A bit later on, I got a call from his mother out of the blue one day. She must have had to dig just to get my cell number, but she starts off and asks me if I've talked to C lately. I tell her no, it's almost been a year since I last chatted w/ him. She then goes on to tell me to please reach out to her if I'm able to get in touch w/ him in any way. He apparently got involved with some cult, sold all of his belongings, and disappeared without any contact with his previous life. They have a private detective in Cali right now searching for him. I don't hear from either of them again for a year after that.
Time goes by, and wuddaya know, I get a call from C one day. He moved to a new city coincidentally a few hours from the new city I had moved to. He's weird on the phone though. Super outgoing energetic dude sounds like a zombie the 1st time I talk to him. I invite him to my city to spend a weekend to catch up.
He actually drives down, and stays for a 3 day weekend and I don't recognize this dude at all. He seemed like equal parts zombie, depressed, anxious, relieved, all at the same time. It was an awkward weekend, the cult thing didnt get broached once. I was never 100% sold on the "C joined a cult story" but without a single person hearing from him, it wasn't the worst possible scenario of all things I guess. Having him sit in front of me that weekend, it firmed that theory up. So I didn't bring it up that weekend, never have actually. Just tried to make him feel at home, and throw some nostalgia his way ya know.
It's been about a decade now, he's married & a dad now. He wrote a novel, kinda sci-fi fiction. It's about a dude who gets caught up in a cult. Then he transcends reality and time and it kinda goes from there... Anyway, I ain't trying to write a book here, but thought I'd share just the short version of one of the crazier stories I've ever lived thru. Can answer any Q's if anyone's interested.
The Definition Of "Cult" Is All In The Execution
Ex-Mormon here, in case that counts. Let's see if I can condense 2 decades of bullsh-t.
I was raised from birth to be a mom. That was my Divine role and the teachings were structured around that message: your job is to birth children. It's the greatest thing you can ever do. Every decision must revolve around making that work. Even if you're broke college students, you must not delay a family for anything.
You're raised to believe that getting baptized at 8 is your choice, but it's never actually presented that way. The lessons are always phrased like, "When you're baptized, this will happen." You're also explicitly taught that you can't get into the "good" heaven unless you get baptized and marry in the temple.
From 18 months on you are taught lessons of obedience, one of which is tithing. 10% of any income for that $124 billion church (and that's just with assets that can be found). 4 year olds are expected to tithe birthday money from Grandma. Tithing is supposed to be paid before feeding your kids or paying rent, and if you do, some miracle is supposed to happen to get those monetary needs met.
Temple rituals involve weird clothes and are largely copied off free masonry. Only temple recommend holders (AKA tithe payers) can enter the temple, so unworthy family members are regularly excluded from weddings. 12 year olds get dunked in a water tank for dead people. These rituals have also been recently changed to remove references to killing yourself and naked touching.
The verbage in lessons involves an us vs them mentality. Non-members, anti-Mormon literature, etc. You are taught so repeatedly that the world is out to get you and that you cannot look at those sources of information that it creates a persecution complex. Any time anyone mentions anything negative about the church, the walls go up and that naysayer is treated like they're making a personal, ugly attack on everything that member ever is.
If you try to leave you are expected to meet with leadership and possibly also missionaries several times to try and get you to change your mind. At church you are taught that people only leave because someone offended them, because you want to sin without the guilt, because you didn't feel welcome, etc. None of that talk is about discovering Ole Joe was a career con man. These meetings are framed around that mentality and you have to go through several of them. If you want to avoid all that, you need a notarized letter explicitly stating you want to leave. A. Notarized. Letter. To. Stop. Attending. Church.
If you try to ghost them and stop going, they send your ministering sisters or brothers to come check on you. As a member you are assigned someone to go with you and visit people (aka check up on them) to see how they are doing and if their needs are met. When you try to leave, these people are usually deployed to bug you and get you to come back.
When parents find out about your lack of faith they try guilting you back as well, but more from the approach of, "How could you do this to me?" If your relationship with them is okay, this hits hard because the heaven aspect of the religion involves eternally-linked families and you are breaking that link. Parents are taught that they will answer personally for apostate children, so they usually try very hard to get you to come back.
There's more, so much more, and some of it uglier than this, but that can be found with a Google search. Basically, this church-cult thrives on guilt and mental manipulation to keep their members submissive and financially profitable. Breaking out of that mental game is extremely hard, and when you do you are hunted down and guilted back.
My personal Tl;Dr: I was groomed from birth to be a baby factory and now I'm stuck in that role with no career prospects. Thankfully my husband is woke and encourages me to be more than what I was raised for. We're still deprogramming, though
The Scars Will Always Remain
My grandparent was the leader of a smallish cult. It was very religious based. My name growing up was Slave 2, and my role was to do all the chores on the farm, all the housework and to please my master. I got out, my body has some pretty horrible scars and I'm okay to talk about my past, though I've lost a lot of friends due to over sharing. I'm happy to answer most questions.
Are you ok now?
Well, I've moved on and flashbacks, night terrors and the like are few and far between. However some days are far worse than others, particularly when I'm having a rather painful day and then the memories of why I'm in pain become hard to ignore. Overall I'd say I'm okay.
Time and time again, people spreading lies about others for no reason has demonstrated the lack of humanity in our gossip-obsessed society.
People have nothing better to do other than to bring down others out of spite.
What's even more disappointing is that some of us have at one point played a part in perpetuating these rumors without even knowing it.
And other times, we are the subject of a rumor, and that's never fun.
Curious to hear examples of the situation, Redditor PieNo17 asked:
"What’s the worst rumor you ever heard about yourself?"
Kids can be so cruel.
Introduction To Antisemitism
"I was bullied in elementary school for being Jewish. I very much am not Jewish. Apparently there was a rumor going around school that I was a 'Jew boy.' I was utterly confused and didn’t understand why being Jewish would even be something to be bullied about."
– goobermuslim
The Racist
"Ah, I used to get bullied for being Asian....I am not Asian. Turns out it was a rumor started by a kid who was actually half Asian. I think he just didn't want to be the only Asian kid at school."
– tn00bz
Seeking Pleasure At The Buffet
"When I was in sixth grade our whole grade (~100) was on a field trip out of town. We stopped at an Old Country Buffet to eat. I had to poop while we were there, and another kid in my grade was peeking through the stall at me while I was on the toilet. He then yelled that I was pleasuring myself in the stall. This turned into everyone talking about it outside of the bathroom, and now I was the kid who m*sturbated in an Old Country Buffet."
– slob_johnson
Teacher Killer
"When I was a kid, I was in the (for lack of a better term) special ed program at school due to a muscular condition that affected my fine motor skills, which meant I got bullied mercilessly. Determined to change my rep, I worked ridiculously hard to improve my skills so I no longer needed that program in middle school. Somehow, a rumor got started that I'd been kicked out of that program because I'd tried to kill the teacher, and that became the rumor that defined me until the day I graduated high school."
– jessthefacts97
These Redditors' friends thought they'd seen a ghost.
Wreck Survivor
"I had a car wreck on a country road. Black Cow and calf in the road, and I hit both of them. My mother called into school the next day but pretty much just told them I was in a wreck and nothing else. Word got around that I was dead in a car wreck."
"Showed up at school 2 days later because car wrecks hurt and a couple of buddies actually cried when I showed up saying they thought I was dead."
– DisGruntledDraftsman
Name Mixup
"Once, at work, we came across the obituary of a former coworker. Due to the long hours we were working on this project none of us managed to go to the wake or funeral, but we sent flowers. Months later the dude turned up on another job site, very much alive. Apparently this dude that died was totally unrelated, had the same name and was also an industrial painter… we sent flowers, that must have been confusing for his family."
– trijkdguy
Different Coworker
"Similar story happened to me. Had severe covid at the very beginning of the pandemic. Was out of work for 6 months. Someone with my exact name and in the same town passed away my coworkers thought it was me. Some people didn't even know i was alive until I was back to work for three months"
– ZombieLebowski
The Friendship Test
"That I had died. I woke up one morning to find about 50 messages on my phone and dozens of missed calls (my phone was on silent). It was my ex girlfriend of all people who I spoke with first as she was freaking out because (as it turns out) someone with my name had died. It got lost in translation and next thing you know a lot of my out of state friends thought it was me. It was nice to know they cared so much."
– Yeeaaaarrrgh
Rumors about crushes, love and relationships seem to be a commonality.
Some "Friend"
"My friend introduced me to a girl at his high school and we were into each other. She was having some friends over for a sleepover and took the opportunity to invite me over, cuddle and make out while everyone else was asleep. The next morning we groggily hung out for a bit and made plans to hang out again soon. I’ll never forget how she hugged me and kissed me before I left. I ran into our mutual friend while walking home and I told him where I’d been. I didn’t know that he had a crush on her and he was pissed. By the time I got home, she had blocked and deleted me. I found out later from another friend that our mutual 'friend' had told her that I had an STD and only wanted to use her for sex."
– regnarbensin_
Friendship Destroyer
"Hey, this same thing happened to me! I moved around a lot as a kid and ended up in the same place for 7th to 12th grade. The first few people I met were some kids in the neighborhood, 1 girl and 1 guy. They weren't mutual friends, but I became good friends with both of them and ended up introducing them to each other. The girl and I would stay up late texting on old flip phones and sneak out with each other over the summer. Then, almost out of nowhere, she just stopped talking to me. Turns out the guy developed a crushed and spent literal weeks trying to convince her that all I wanted was sex. Luckily, I was able to find out and defend myself, but unluckily, I found out later that he did that with many, many people. He probably ended up ruining at least 30 friendships with people throughout my time in high school."
– LycheeTrash
A Bad Romance
"i think the only rumor that i ever really heard back in highschool was that i communed with satan. and when a few people asked, i just went with it. i was just like ya, satan and i talked last night, hes doing well. we have dinner plans for the weekend. just stupid stuff like that."
– another-redditor3
We never know how the rumor mill picks some of these out and seemingly distributes them to everyone in our community, no matter how big or small or far away. But we're glad these Redditors were willing to share!
It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.
With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.
Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.
Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.
Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.
Always making for a memorable story.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
People Who've Had A Serious Illness Describe The Exact Moment They Knew Something Was Really Wrong
As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.
However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.
Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.
Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.
It all started when Redditor thelearner18 asked:
"People who have had a serious disease (cancer, MS, organ failure, etc) when did you realize something was really wrong?"
A Lesson Learned
"Hust found out i have rectal cancer. 42 yrs old. multiple stools per day, not fully emptying, thin poop. so got a colonoscopy. bam! cancer. starting chemo next week. lesson learned for everyone....if your stools or stool schedule changes, go see a doctor"
– shawngee03
A Lucky Break
"I had been having a lot of pain in my midsection, and all around my torso for several weeks. I went to the doctor and it was dismissed as gynecological cramping (menopausal?). It remained. After several weeks (6-8) I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to emergency in the middle of the night. I got a CT scan that showed a large kidney stone. They also found a mass on my ovary. The kidney stone lead them to finding a rare ovarian cancer. If not for that stone, I wouldn’t have known about the cancer and might not have caught it in time. I have been in remission since September 2021."
– peachsqueeze66
Cause For Concern
"My kid, who was 14 at the time, kept throwing up in the morning and having weird headaches. Her doctor thought it was migraines. She went back a couple of times, but the doctor was not concerned. Then one day she complained of a whooshing noise in her ear. Went to the children’s hospital and found out it was a brain tumor near her cerabellum. She was in ICU for a month, but turned out it was non cancerous and it never grew back. She is doing great now."
– Evilelfqueen
"I heard a whooshing noise in my ear a few years ago I only really heard it at night when it was quiet it would sometimes switch ears now I basically never hear it. I'm pretty sure it was just pulsatile tinnitus but still scary."
– fallen-summer
It Was The Salt
"I have Cystic Fibrosis (terminal lung disease) and it was found out when I didn't sh*t for 3 days after I was born and then my mother gave me a kiss and said I tasted REALLY salty."
"Now I'm on a gene modification drug called Trikafta and this is some serious witch craft a** sh*t because I no longer feel sick to death and I basically feel like a normal person. It's f*cking wild!
"Went from 19% lung function to 87% in 3 months. I no longer cough my a** off or feel like I'm suffocating from mucus. Go science!"
– Sudden_Blueberry_477
A Funky Optic Nerve
"I was diagnosed with MS when I was 22 after having blurred vision in one eye after a ski trip. I went to the optometrist and they said I had a dry eye probably from not wearing goggles while snow boarding. So they gave me steroid drops. After a week it kept getting worse, so I went back and they told me my eye looked much better so they did a field of view test, which showed I couldn’t see anything out of the lower half of one eye. They sent me straight to the emergency room since nothing was wrong physically wrong with my eye. They did some tests and I was diagnosed with MS and ended up going completely blind in one eye. My vision eventually came back and I got on medication within a month so haven’t really had any symptoms or issues since thankfully. I’m only 29 now though."
– johnjohn9312
Caught It In Time
"This isn't me, but this happened to my best friend VERY recently. Like in the last couple of months."
"Was perfectly fine and healthy one day. Then the next he started feeling a little bit of pain in his kidney. He'd had kidney stones before, so he figured it was that again. Then he started peeing blood. He thought it was still part of the kidney stone thing so let it go for a couple days, but he was still peeing blood and the pain was getting worse."
"That's when he decided to go to the doctor. They did an X-ray and found a mass in his kidney and told him that based on where it was located they can't remove the mass, and they can't do a partial kidney removal, and it's about a 90% chance it's cancerous, but they wouldn't be able to do a biopsy without removing the kidney first. They did the whole insurance dance, but it went fast and within two weeks he was in surgery having his kidney removed."
"He's still recovering at home right now, but they got the biopsy results last week. It was indeed cancerous, but they caught it before it spread."
– SweetCosmicPope
Happily Ever After
"I couldn’t walk anymore with my crutch I had been using to get by. Had Been on Percocet for 8 months because of the extreme pain. Nobody was finding answers to my pain but I knew something was wrong, badly. After finally having an ultra sound on my hips at the age of 26 I found out I had to undergo a double hip replacement to walk again due to a serious rare disease. I was stage 4 Avascular Nercrosis. Took a year to recover from both. But Happier ending, I’m doing good now. However it was very very upsetting news to get over a phone call at 26."
– heartpathetic
It Really Sneaks Around
"My wife started getting numbness in her right arm. The breast cancer had spread to her right shoulder and the tumor was crushing the nerves. She has stage four breast cancer in her bones."
– zenos_dog
A Turn For The Worse
"For me, it started May 14, 2014. I went to work and was having a good morning. Then, at about 9:00 in the morning or so, I started to feel some lower abdominal pain. Not to be crude, but it felt like that cramp you get when you really need to go to the bathroom. I did so, but the pain didn't go away. It got worse. I started to feel chills, was sweating, and felt nauseated. My employer has a clinic on site, so I went there. After some poking and prodding, the nurse asked me if I wanted to go home or if I wanted to go to the emergency room. I decided to go home, and if the pain didn't subside, then I'd go to the emergency room. As I was saying that, though, I noticed that my pain had gotten a LOT worse. They always make you rate your pain on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being no pain at all and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. When I went into the clinic, I was mostly uncomfortable, maybe a high 2 going into a 3. On that very subjective scale, I was now a 6 or a 7."
"I changed my mind and decided to go straight to the nearest emergency room. My boss drove me, and by the time we got there about 15 minutes later, I was now a 10. This was the worst pain I'd ever felt. My previous definition of the worst pain I'd ever felt was when I broke 7 bones in my wrist, it was misdiagnosed as a sprain, and I had to have them rebroken 2 weeks later. The pain in my abdomen was now worse than that. The emergency room admitted me and put me in a wheelchair. They wheeled me to a room, I curled up on the bed they put me in, and passed out."
"At some point, a nurse came in and gave me some morphine. Great stuff. No pain at all anymore. A doctor came in and told me they suspected a kidney stone. He wanted me to get a CT scan to confirm it, and I agreed. An orderly wheeled me off to imaging. I got scanned without contrast and was wheeled back to the room. My wife had arrived while I was getting scanned. Shortly later, the doctor who told me he thought it was a kidney stone came into the room. With another doctor. And two nurses. They all crowd around me with solemn looks on their faces."
"The first doctor told me it was a kidney stone. A 2 to 3 mm kidney stone had been lodged in the ureter of my left kidney. That's the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. It passed into my bladder when they gave me the morphine, but they could see evidence of it on the CT scan. Then the other doctor said they were more concerned about the 6 cm mass they found on my right kidney. They had my attention."
"They did another CT scan, with contrast this time, and it was impossible to see anything but a tumor in the pictures they showed me. They made an appointment for me with a urologist for the next day, as well as an appointment in a few days time to get it biopsied. It was an after-hours appointment for the urologist, but he was nice enough to stay late to see me. He looked at the CT Scans and cancelled my appointment to get it biopsied. He said there was nothing else it could be but cancer, and the kidney would have to go."
"Two months later, I had the kidney and the tumor removed laparoscopically. I was incredibly lucky. They caught it in stage 1. The doctor said there were signs it was going to start moving soon. I have no idea how doctors can look at a softball sized lump of cancer and tell anything other than 'gross', but that's why they're the doctors and I'm not."
"My recovery was smooth, and I've been cancer-free for 9 years. I was incredibly blessed. I didn't have to deal with chemo, or radiation. While those can save your life, they are also horrible experiences with nasty side effects. I didn't have to deal with any of them. I was bracing myself to have to. They said it was a possibility. But I didn't. I have every respect for those not as fortunate as me, and wish them all the best in recovery."
– mnementh9999
Reason #5,622 To Start Exercising
"I started jogging again to try and get back into running shape. I kept noticing that just after a mile or so, I'd stop and get REALLY lightheaded. Kept thinking, "oh, I'm really out of shape" and kept going. Went in a few weeks later for my annual physical and doctor said "you ever been told you have a heart murmur?", no. Two months later I spent Christmas of 2017 in the ICU after having a section of my aorta cut out and a new valve put in. Surgeon said it was bad. Said it wouldn't have made it too much longer."
"Edit: for clarification, it was an aortic dissection."
– Itsawlinthereflexes
Slow And Steady
"My dad's friend went on a hike with a doctor who knew him and he was winded not far from the car. The doctor clocked it right away and told him to get his heart checked. He had 98% blockage in his heart arteries."
"He tells my dad so my dad gets the test to see how his arteries are doing and they found a massive aneurism on his aorta. He is getting it removed tomorrow. He had no symptoms but the doctors said if he had overdone it he would be dead before anyone would even know what was going on. Crazy how a random friend's hike may have saved his life."
– Pencilowner
It Takes A Village
"I never did, my teacher and parents did."
"I was seven, usually an active kid and my first grade teacher noticed that rather than running around at recess I sat down and took a nap. It happened a couple more times and after I fell asleep in class (totally out of character), she gave my parents a call, we had been visiting the doc fairly regularly cause I was also complaining of joint pain and frequent ear infections combined with the new symptoms and a new doc at the practice I was finally diagnosed with leukemia."
– greenmachine11235
Thank goodness for that teacher (and of course, the parents)!
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Ask everything.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.