Trauma. Such a simple word. A simple word shrouded in so much difficulty and pain. When trauma goes ignored and untreated, it festers and grows into many manifestations. One dark manifestation is depression. Everyone, and I do mean everyone at one time or another has suffered from depression. It's unfortunate that there is still such stigma attached to it. Right now the world is in a collective depression and often it's impossible to finds ways to cope.
Redditor u/Lainnnn wanted to see who would be willing to share with the world some ways to stay motivated, in the darkness by asking... Depressed people, how do you motivate yourself to do things, even small tasks? [Serious]Many people have always suffered from seasonal trauma so this time of year can often be more difficult and this follows the darkness that can mar the holidays. I've had depression all of my life. Mine has nothing to do with a time of year, just everyday in and of itself. Sometimes it conquers me but often I've turned the tables. One breath at a time. They following people seem to understand my method.
Bot Movement
maywa denki robot GIF
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I pretend that I'm a robot to do very small singular tasks at a time. I really get myself into the mindset that my own motivation doesn't matter at all.
Trickster
I have found a way to trick me into doing stuff: If I'm lying on the couch, basically feeling like complete crap but I know I should rather go buy groceries and cook a meal I tell myself: I'm going to feel like crap no matter what. If I continue lying here, I'll feel like crap, if I go buy groceries and cook, I'll feel like crap. The only difference is that doing stuff and being active will probably help me long term.
So if I'll feel crappy no matter what, I might as well do the thing that will help make me feel better eventually. It kinda helps me to deal with the crappy feeling and I can get myself to do the stuff I should be doing. Doesn't work all the time but often enough.
Slowly
Today I skipped class and just stayed in the shower. And since I was in there anyway I slowly picked up shampoo, slowly washed my hair, etc and just kept moving through my regular wash day routine as if I didn't have somewhere to be. It needed to be done and I knew I'd feel a little better and like I accomplished something.
Simple First
Chill Yoga GIF by MOST EXPENSIVEST
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If something is worth doing, it's worth doing poorly.
A perfect example is brushing your teeth: Haven't brushed your teeth in months? Just go to the sink, stick the toothbrush in your mouth, and scrub for a few seconds. Don't aim for perfection, just give it a half-assed attempt for 5 seconds.
You'll start to build a habit of brushing, and you'll start to brush better every time.
And also, do things one step at a time. Getting out of bed does not equal you needing to clean the entire house, but maybe that coffee table needs to be tidied up a bit? Maybe toss the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, but it doesn't need to be run today.
Point is, you're doing things that have positive rewards to them. You'll start to see those rewards as something you want more of. Eventually, cleaning will become less and less of a chore, and more about keeping the things you have clean and nice looking because you actually like them.
Wallowing in bed really is counterproductive, but wallowing in bed one day isn't something to beat yourself up over. Learn to forgive yourself and keep reminding yourself that bad days are ok to have.
Things are going to get better.
It's amazing how many of us are walking through each day with the similar weight holding us down and rummaging through our psyches. At this the internet allows us to talk with a little anonymity. For those of you who can't afford therapy just yet or are too bashful, save this thread, I think you'll find many of these suggestions useful. For instance...
Minimal Ways
trying to calm down season 1 GIF by Gilmore Girls
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Another thing for me - is minimize things you are responsible for. If you have a hard time keeping things clean - it is easier with less things.
I just had to do a huge skincare/makeup purge and I had been holding onto expired things and feeling guilty about the money I spent. I forgave myself and threw it all out and then treated myself to the replacements. I'd rather spend more on things I care for and enjoy than have lots of mediocre stuff.
Fives
Celebrating the little things. I'm currently trying to do "five a day", and to nondepressives, they probably seem tiny but to me they are huge.
Like today I got showered, got dressed, made a lunch from scratch, went for a walk and put some laundry in the washer (bonus point, its hung up too!). Whoo, successful day!
Do the Dishes
I honestly just try to make the next hour, next few minutes, whatever amount of time, better for my future self. Lots of "I'll be glad I did this" even simple things like cleaning ONE mug at night so I don't have to clean it for coffee & don't feel SUPER pressured to just do all the dishes right when I wake up.
Peasant Plan
I play 'medieval peasant' so I have to physically react like a medieval peasant to everything in my house that I use.
Use an electric toothbrush? I have to wonder at the magic. Clean running water? I have to shriek in joy, now I won't get the plague! Food in the fridge? Oh my life is bountiful! Automatic lights in the building? Ah!
The light knoweth when I doth move!!! Plants on the windowsill? They must be thirsty have a drink, oh my what a beautiful pot this must be sorcery!
People look at you like you're crazy but the confusion on their faces is worth it and medieval me is very pleased with my life.
Pay Up
I have a little mason jar, everytime I do something, exp; eat breakfast, take a walk. I add a dinosaur to a jar, I also use this for self harm as well, if I haven't hurt myself in a week, I get to add in some dinosaurs. It makes me super happy when I drop in a dinosaur and hear it * clunk * together with the other ones.
Faith and...
scared season 1 GIF by The White Princess
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Hope. That some day it's all gonna be worth it and you might thank yourself for not giving up today.
This is all a lot to process. But it's a good process. Process in and of itself helps me and keeps me moving forward. Remember the only way is through, not over. Trying to always get over will only ever lead you back. So come back here and reread and go look up Brené Brown. You're welcome.
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In the words of every millennial who was once on Tumblr, adulting is hard. I’ve been a legal adult for nine years now, and I still don’t fully understand taxes. I just let TurboTax do its thing and hope for the best. They REALLY need to teach that sh*t in schools.
But I’m not the only adult who still feels like a child! I think a lot of us can relate to that. And to be honest, we can be very unprepared for what life throws at us.
U/cracksandcrevices asked: What is an adult problem that nobody prepared you for?
The worst part is the cruel awakening that we actually have to, you know, do stuff on our own.
Choosing things is hard.
Having to not only make important decisions by myself (I expected that much) but also having to do so in a timely fashion uninhibited by indecision.
Having to make decisions is such a big thing for me. Intellectually, of course I knew I'd have to make decisions. I just want ready too make them without knowing the consequences and at the speed of life.
Errands eat up sooo much time.
season 2 your shoe's untied GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants
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How much time you spend just doing stuff.
"Oh need to replace my tire and that's over by the store, so while I replace the tire I can do some errands and I'll save time and be home in no time" three hours later "Okay just one more errand before I head home"
Also how putting off a small task just a couple days in a row can quickly amount to a longer chore/responsibility later. "Eh I can just leave this in the sink, get to it later before bed" x 2 days "Why is this grime caked onto this plate still I've been scrubbing for 10 minutes straight!"
That’s what delivery is for.
Being sick and having to care for yourself. Like when you were younger your parents would get the medicine, or the medicine cabinet would just be stocked all the time, etc. But here I am with a cold having to build up the energy to go to the supermarket to buy some asprin and throat lozenges all by myself.
Underwear gnomes are the true pests.
The endless cleaning. I had chores when I was a kid, but I had zero clue how much actual work went into keeping house. I cleaned my house this morning and by midweek it'll be a war zone of pet hair, crumbs, and dust. I don't even have kids wtf it's like the underpants gnomes show up when I'm asleep and mess my house up.
Another sh*tty thing is the crushing loneliness that comes with adulthood. Why didn’t they tell us that we would have no friends after the age of 25?
The only thing I miss about school.
motivating bart simpson GIF
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A lack of community. Growing up you have your elementary school. Each day you see your friends and participate in activities together. Sometimes they move away and sometimes you do, but it largely stays the same through high school and middle school. Flash forward to adulthood and you're just alone. You want to make friends IRL, but have no idea how to go about doing it without seeming creepy, desperate, or god knows what.
This is really hard when you are not overtly religious so you cannot join a religious community. My friend and I talk about this from time to time, it's arguably the hardest thing to deal with in life. It gets worse the longer you live, as you know you are outliving your generation.
The reason why I have cats.
You can go days on end without having to speak to a single person, at first it's a dream come true, after about 2 months you start talking to your toaster to pad the silence while waiting for your toast.
I literally haven't spoken to someone beyond saying thank you/no when buying groceries in months. At first it felt kind of freeing and now it's just kinda sad.
Ditto on this advice.
The inevitably of your parents dying. My dad just passed away and I'm 25...no one could have prepared me I guess.
I feel you. Mine passed away back in August when I was 28. There's nothing you can do to prepare for it, and I'm afraid I have no magic words to make it better. Just know you're not alone. I'll never say it gets "better," but it eventually starts to suck less and your hard days get a little less frequent. I'm so, so sorry.
The sad fact is, you have to start fending for yourself with no one to help you. And that’s terrifying.
Saving money is hard for this reason alone.
Basic home maintenance: when to change air filters, smoke alarm batteries, timing of lawn care, how often do you clean the gutters, are you supposed to clean under the stove, what is edging, how do you recycle, how to change locks, etc.
Not to mention the random costs that spring up. Trying to save up money? Good for you. Except your sink just sprung a leak so you need to pay a plumber to fix that. Now you can save money agai... Nope, car needs servicing. Okay, your can definitely save money now.... Wait, that leaky sink sprouted mold so now your bathroom needs to be gutted and redone.
We are all Squidward.
Being absolutely exhausted most of the time. I never thought I'd be the 'I hate everyone' guy. But I am and everyone can f*ck off.
We all become Squidward after hitting a certain age.
You either die a SpongeBob or live long enough to become a Squidward.
Me? I'm Patrick. F*ck your rat race.
As someone who has lost a parent, I can tell you that sometimes you will never be prepared for certain events in your adult life. Everyone’s experience is different, and sometimes adulthood just means figuring it out for yourself.
You got this, grown-ups of the internet. I believe in you
But how much of what we see are authentic reactions?
Curious about the experiences of those who were on camera, Redditor S3xySouthernB asked:
"People who were on reality family shows as kids (think super nanny, wife swap etc) how much of it was real and how much was fiction/set up for drama? Did anything change?"
Unreality
The following Redditors frowned upon the concept of being portrayed differently on camera.
The Gamer
"I was on Wife Swap when I was 10 years old. My family had to switch with a farming family and we were supposed to be the 'city family' even though my family and I lived in the suburbs. There were plenty of quotes taken out of context as you'd expect. They also incited plenty of drama. I was framed as addicted to video games so they took my xbox and gameboy color for the week. A few days in one of the crew members came in with my gameboy and said 'look I found this' and handed it to me. It shouldn't be surprising that they sent the woman staying in our house into my room to 'catch me in the act'."
"To be honest not much has really changed in my life except getting snapchats of my 10 year old face when my friends catch the reruns. I'm open to any questions if anyone is curious."
It was Season 3 Episode 13 of Wife Swap"
Update for anyone who was curious about how much money the show gave us. The initial amount was $20k but after taxes it came to around $15k like others had expected."
Crazy On Cue
"My parents were 'dinner guests' in an episode of Nanny 911 and they said literally everything was staged. I don't remember all of the details, but they said the directors had a 'code word' that they would say to the kids when they were supposed to start acting all 'crazy'. And then once the scene was done, the kids would be perfectly normal."
False Front
"My friends parents were on worlds strictest parents. They came to my house on 4th of July and when they showed our house on tv it was a huge mansion rather than our actual house. The camera crew also told the visiting 'bad kids' to steal alcohol from our house."
Hoarders
A glimpse into the lives of those who are unable to part with their possessions is not always scripted TV.
Hoarding For Real
"I worked with a junk removal company for an episode of hoarders and it was actually 99% REAL. The only thing that they would set up a couple times was if they opened a box and found something interesting off camera they would re-open it on camera and act like they just found it."
Laundry Tub
"My mother was (probably still is, we aren't in contact) a hoarder and you don't HAVE to make sh*t up. They're seriously, seriously mentally ill but they refuse help because they don't think they're mentally ill, or 'it's not that bad' or they're 'going to get to it next month' or whatever. Total denial and self delusion, which is, yanno, common with severe mental illness."
"Example: for who knows what reason, my mother started putting dirty laundry in the bathtub. Eventually there was just a mountain of it. She wouldn't wash it despite our washer working fine. She wouldn't move it. She wouldn't let ME wash it. I was showering at school for weeks already when I told her 'Mom the laundry in the tub has to go. This is ridiculous. I'll help with it.'"
"She said 'There's no laundry in the tub.'"
"She actually tried to DENY REALITY. I went in there and was like 'These are clothes. In the tub. This is laundry.'"
"She replied 'Oh I think those are clean.'"
"I said, 'So then put them away?' I knew they weren't clean. I just wanted to shower."
"She said 'I'll do it this weekend when I have off.'"
"I hate to spoil the ending but..... she didn't do it."
"She hired a dumpster once and was going to 'throw out everything'. It got there. Normal sized dumpster. She didn't throw out anything because 'they sent too big of a one'. Paid hundreds of dollars to hire this dumpster and didn't use it."
"Oh. Then. She was going to sell the house. Someone actually wanted to buy it to gut and flip. It was really a cool old house, speaking design-wise. She decided at the last possible second not to sell. Had to reimburse the buyer's closing costs plus a bunch of other fees."
"Then cried to anyone who'd listen how the realtor was a scammer who 'tried to sell her house out from under her'. Like they're just rouge realtors going around, listing people's houses without their consent and selling them."
Drama
Are the emotional outbursts exhibited on reality shows genuine? Not always.
Hairy Situation
"A class mate of mine was on my country's Next Top Model. Before getting into the show she was asked what kind of hair she would never want to get, so that the producers know about it and not make her have it during the makeover episode. My classmate had long blonde hair which she really loved, so she said she doesn't want them to cut her hair off and that she also hated strange unnatural colors like blue, pink etc."
"Fast forward to the makeover episode. The hairstyling team comes in and finds her hair unfitting for a model, so she needs to get a makeover and guess what? Her makeover obviously consists of a pixie cut and green hair to make her look like a 'punk fairy.'"
"My class mate cried throughout the entire process, so I guess the producers got the drama they wanted out of this."
Cue Anger
"There was a family in our neighborhood who was on a show here in Germany. One day, when accompanied by the camera crew, one of the daughters suddenly threw a screaming fit in public, which was totally unusual for her. When the mom was asked later what the f*k had happened, she said, for a tantrum you get 200 bucks extra."
– RayNooze
"A girl I went to school with was on 'My Super Sweet Sixteen'. She was always quiet but well-liked and the kids on that show were usually monsters so we were curious about how the episode would paint her."
"There was one scene where she was checking in on a vendor and they said something might not be finished in time for the party and she didn't have a meltdown or anything but she said something dramatic like, 'Oh no! That's going to ruin my whole birthday party!'"
"After the episode aired her friends who were with her said they did a couple of 'takes' because her first reaction was like, 'Oh, that sucks. Thanks for letting me know.'"
It appeared the majority of Redditors who vouched for a show's realistic portrayal of people on TV was Hoarders.
For Redditor azulweber, the circumstance was relatable.
"yeah my grandmother and her sister are both hoarders and i have no problem believing that it's real. i can't imagine someone who isn't a hoarder being willing to allow a show to do that to their home and belongings just for tv."
Sadly, the exploitation of a person's mental illness seems to make for must-see television.
A lot of the Shark Tank folks have made their way to tv to hock items, and it worked, and people are happy! So there has to be some truth to a few things. Let's see what items we should all look for...
The Cleanse
cleaning up mr clean GIF by ADWEEKGiphyOxy-Clean is pretty amazing.
I no longer consider Oxy-Clean an ASOTV product. It is a part of everyday life.
I mean, when name brands are bragging that they have the cleaning power of Oxy-Clean, it has made it to the big time.
FLEX
Flex tape.
I work for an HVAC supplier and our delivery box truck struck the awning of a restaurant and put a 6"x6" hole in the 'box' part. Threw some flex tape on that witch and it's been sealed for over eight months so far, including a rough winter.
Gutted
That leaf filter thing for your gutters. Haven't worried about them in awhile and even set up my parents house with them so they didn't try to climb a ladder.
These have been around in various forms for years, but in my experience they pop out, animals get in them, crapt gets under/through them, and within a couple of years they're just a crooked eyesore that make gutter cleaning that much harder. Are these newest ones actually better? Have you checked under them since installing? No gunk? How do you clean roofing gravel out, or does it really not accumulate?
For the Pets
Well Done Applause GIF by MOODMANGiphyThose gloves that you pet your dog with and it desheds them. They really do work, and true to the commercial the hair also comes off in one clean pull. My dogs love them too.
Spun Up
I was given a Hurricane Spin Mop. I really liked it. That was years ago. I considered buying another one, but damn, $30 for a mop is a lot. They do work nicely though.
Mops take a lot of abuse, if you buy cheap ones you'll have broken/shredded mops pretty fast. $30 for a mop wouldn't kill me if it lasted multiple years.
Actually that brings me to mine, which isn't infomercial level, but the Swiffer Wetjet is pretty awesome because I don't have to mop anymore at all. My whole house is 120-year-old hardwood. I used to do Murphy's or white vinegar, but dragging a mop bucket up and down stairs every week sucks hardcore. Wetjet gets the floors truly clean, dries super fast, and doesn't involve buckets. I wish they'd make a Murphy's scented Wetjet but that's probably just me.
I'm getting that dog shedder thing. And well... Oxy Clean is a miracle. But that is old news. Maybe I need to be watching more TV at 3am. Or at least set the DVR for the sales. What else is being missed?
Hugs...
So Excited Dancing GIFGiphyThe Snuggie was a freaking damned miracle. You can argue that it's just wearing a robe backwards but have you tried that? the arm holes are all wrong.
Damn. I had a Snuggie when I was a teen. I'm 60+. I need to look out for one. It was great for relaxing with a book.
Clogger
Green Gobbler. My bathroom sink was all clogged up and I remembered laughing my butt off to Penguinz0 dubbing over the Green Gobbler commercial. So I figured why not buy some at Home Depot and try it out.
That stuff unclogged my barely functioning sink like nobody's business, my God.
For the Girls
cancer bras GIFGiphyThose little circle things you can use to turn your regular bra into a racer back bra. They're amazing.
Slank Me
I have a Slanket (same concept, different brand) and use it every winter. During the pandemic, I was working from home in a room that gets very cold. I could run a heater, but that tends to just make the room too warm and gives me headaches. I tried a blanket, but couldn't use my hands on the keyboard without opening myself to the cold air.
So I grabbed the Slanket and used that. It kept me warm while I typed away without giving me headaches. If I had a meeting that required video, I simply took out my arms and pulled the Slanket below the camera view.
Of course, now it's getting warm so it's time to put the Slanket away until the cool air returns.
Mince Me
GiphyThe slap chop. Admittedly, I don't own THE slap chop, I have the pampered chef version, but for mincing garlic or onions it saves a ton of time.
The Snuggie saved my life. I lost it and now I have to re-order as soon as I finish this piece. Trust me, if you haven't Snuggied, you haven't lived. Looks like product sales have stepped it up a bit. I'm watching.
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Clothes. I have way too many articles of clothing. I was poor as a kid. I was obese as a teen so I over compensate now. I want options of nice things to wear. There. I said it. And now I have to go pay my storage unit of clothes. Who understands?
Comfies...
angry peter sarsgaard GIFGiphyStuffed animals. But I'd be a damn liar if I said that I'm not cozy at night in my stuffed animal kingdom.
Extensions
Useless cables from up to 25 years ago. I have phone chargers older than lots of Redditors. IDE extensions. I don't know why.
I have quite a few of them too! A small box full of IDE and floppy drive cables.
Because my hobby is... Owning an obscene amount of old late 90's, early 2000's computers, and just messing around with the hardware!
By a Hair
Dog hair. That crap in all my belongings.
When our mutt died our vet came in to ask if we would like a pawprint as a keepsake. We said yes. Then she wanted to know if we wanted a lock of his hair as well.
And then in the middle of us bawling our eyes out, we stopped, and laughed for about 10 seconds. Because that dog's hair was all over our house. He, our carpet, and our couch were all the same color, so a lot of it was hidden, but just everywhere. We declined the lock of hair.
$$$
GIF by yvngswagGiphyMoney.
Exactly how obscene an amount of money were you talking about? Just… profane, or really offensive?
Greens
Plants.
Currently have about... 800?
To be fair, most of it is inventory for my business.
All of this is making sense. And there is never an amount of money that is too obscene to have. I don't get the plants, but I hate plants. Sorry green thumbers.
Love is in the Heel
Shoes because when I was a broke child, my parents never bought me shoes I wanted. Now I am broke adult after buying tons of shoes that never see outside their boxes.
Shoes will always love you. Shoes will never leave you. You can gain 50 pounds and your pants and tops may have to be donated, but your feet will stay the same size. I'm here for shoes because they are here for me.
Cover Up
Make up.
glances at her make up collection yup. I have a 10 drawer craft storage thing. I need another. I have 2 drawers alone just for lipsticks and glosses.
Hey Neo!
GIF by NETFLIXGiphyPictures of Keanu Reeves wearing a bra.
And now shoes...
Socks without a match.
Lol in my family we have a generational bin of socks that keeps getting passed down. My mom had one, and when my sister moved she took it with her. My sister has now moved four times and that bin keeps going with her.
I think the odds on finding those lost mates are pretty low at this point.
Gimme Quarters...
heads or tails spinning GIFGiphyPenny stocks.
Penny stocks are fun. I've made a decent bit off of them over the past several years. Still, I generally try and steer people away from them, since the general public is pretty terrible with basic financial tools like checking accounts and credit cards.
There is never enough of Keanu Reeves in our lives. And I still collect pennies. Money is money. But... we really should examine some collection choices. There is such a thing as too many shoes.
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