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Typing While Tired

In college I had a fair number of all nighters and usually had the tv going to help keep me up and help with concentration. Once a couple weeks after submitting an essay for a political science class I noticed that the message I sent with it to my professor went something like: "attached is my water for Italian cooking". My essay was completely fine and had nothing to do with Italy. I guess my brain just turned off as soon as I'd attached the paper and there must have been some cooking related infomercial on tv while I sent it.

TSA, Not T & A

Was taking my belt off at airport security. After I unbuckled, I momentarily thought I was in the bathroom and started unzipping.

Stopped myself half a second before I pulled everything down.

F-Bomb

The name of the place I work at begins with an "F". I was chatting with one of my coworkers who was telling me how she runs 10 miles or so every morning as the phone was ringing. What was going through my head was "f$%# that." So when I answered the phone I said,

"F$%#, this is Travis how can I help you?"

Proctologist Exam

My husband and I had an inside joke. Whenever someone lost something, the other person always asked, "have you checked inside your butt?"

I was in a meeting at work (conservative and traditional corporate office) one day and a coworker said, "I can't find my pen."

Without any thought or hesitation I quickly responded, "have you checked inside your butt?" As soon as I said it, I snapped back to reality and realized I was at work.

As you can imagine, everyone went silent and stared at me as my face turned bright red.

Feverish

When I was sick and feeling feverish, I decided to take some Motrin to try and alleviate the symptoms. Usually I grab the pill bottle and shake out two pills, but instead I grabbed my water bottle first and poured water all over my hand.

Snacktime

I sleepwalk once in a while. Recently I got up at 2am and fed the dog. My girlfriend woke up and was like "wtf, did you just feed the dog? What time is it?"

Apparently I looked her in the eye and said, "Everyone loves a midnight snack."

Workplace Adoption

Was on the phone with my boss and she was getting really irritated about something, I don't even remember what. The combination of her irritation and my exhaustion made my brain misfire, and I ended the call with "okay bye bye Mom, I love you!" I was so embarrassed but she thought it was hilarious and started calling me her adopted daughter after that.

Cheese Drawer

I bought a block of cheese for myself last weekend while my fiancé was away in Nashville. Put it in the fridge like a normal person. At some point I had to get something out of the "miscellaneous" drawer in the kitchen (you know, the one that holds pencils/rubber bands/menus). I didn't find what I was looking for in there, but I did find an unopened block of cheese. No idea how I managed to put it there, nor do I remember ever taking it out of the fridge. But it had to be me, right?

Welcome Home

Not too weird because it does make sense, I recently moved to the apartment directly above the one I used to live in. My former roommate leaves the door unlocked.

The frequency at which I just storm in and enter my empty old bedroom is staggering.

Hair Whitening Power?

Loaded up my toothbrush with toothpaste and proceeded to brush my hair with it instead of my teeth.

Cold Call

Back when we had a landline I was talking on the cordless phone and when I hung up I stuck it in the fridge without even blinking an eye. It was lost for hours and nobody noticed until we got a phone call and the fridge started ringing.

Waiting for a Ride

After work I got into the passenger seat of my car and waited a good 2 minutes to be driven home before realizing I was alone.

Inadvertent Stenographer

Typing up a report for work.

Coworkers having a conversation near me.

I proceed to start transcribing their conversation.

Refreshing

I had OJ at work-while I had someone in my office I went to shake it, but the cap was off and proceeded to shower myself with OJ.

Maybe We Should All Try This

Answered my cell phone "911 center, what's the location of your emergency?"

Makes my spouse laugh, my friends roll their eyes, and scares the f*$% out of telemarketers.

12 hr night shifts are a b.

Restroom Break

I'm a security guard for Amazon and I have to do bathroom checks.

Caught myself yelling "SECURITY!" right before going to the restroom at a bar on my day off.

Thank God it was empty.

A Cold One

When I was in school (6th grade I think) my mom would make my bagged lunch. She would wrap soda cans with aluminum foil so they would stay cold (pretty sure that doesn't work).

One day I unwrapped my soda and discovered she packed me a beer that day.

Imaginary Furry Friend

Woke up early Monday morning in a bit of a panic.

I had forgot to buy cat food yesterday. The cat must be starving. I hurry and get ready for work. I plan a detour to the store to buy the cat food.

On the drive there I'm planning my run into the store and I realize I don't know what aisle the food is on. How could I not remember what aisle the cat food is on?

Then it hits me.

I don't have a cat.

I haven't had one for several years.

UNwanted Facial Hair

Cleaning up my face with electric clippers. Thought, "Oh, missed a spot." and proceeded to shave off my f$%#ing eyebrow.

Don't Drink and Dye

My wife and I were dying some Easter eggs and drinking wine this past Saturday night and I watched her take a big swig out of orange. There was an egg in the cup and everything.

Kleptomania

I filled my car with gas and, when I got home, realized that I had not paid. I went back to the station and told the clerk what I had done. She thought she was missing a payment but the station was really busy at the time so she wasn't exactly sure. I paid for my stolen gas and went about my way.

I also walked into the convenience store next to my work, grabbed a Gatorade out of the cooler and walked out the door. I realized what I did when I got back to work. Went back and paid for that, too.

SubZa

I used to work for [a sandwich retailer], so I was very used to "pizza sub" meaning "pepperoni".

One day I went to a pizza place on my break and repeatedly told them I wanted a "pizza" pizza, and got very annoyed that they kept asking what kind of pizza I wanted.

Extra Fiber

Opening a Mozzarella cheese stick for my daughter, threw away the actual cheese stick and gave her the wrapper.

Drinking the Paper Probably Hurt

Got into my car with coffee and a newspaper. Carefully held the rolled-up newspaper whilst hurling the coffee onto the passenger seat.

House Horse

I cared for a horse for several years.

First thing in the morning I would go put feed and water in the field, lead her out, and close the fence behind her.

One morning as I'm walking back into my house, I hear a weird sound behind me. The sound of hooves on linoleum.

She looked as surprised as I was that I had brought her into my kitchen. Luckily, she never told anyone so my secret is still safe.

Packrat

Once while playing an intense board game, I was concentrating so hard that my buddy realized that he could just hand random things to me and I'd take them and put them in my jacket pocket or place them on the table in front of me. I only realized when I ran out of space to put things.

Extra Sweet

nstead of ground coffee, I put a couple scoops of sugar in my coffee filter and brewed it. pyrrhicvictorylap

Self-Feeder Might Be Best

My dog eats in my room, which is across the house from the kitchen, and she gets a mix of wet and dry food that I mix up with a fork. So I get her wet food, get halfway to my room, realize I've forgotten the fork. Go back to the kitchen, get a fork, get halfway back to my room and realize I've forgotten the food. Go back to the kitchen, set the fork down, forget entirely what I'm doing, go back to my room to a very sad and confused puppy. Pour her dry food into her bowl, go to the kitchen, leave the bowl on the counter and go turn on the TV. Walk back in fifteen minutes later, see the bowl, fork and food sitting on the counter, feel like a dunce and apologize to the puppy. Repeat 2-3 times a week.

Not Very Appetizing

I grabbed my "lunch" on my way out the door for work in the morning.

I kept wondering what that beeping noise was the whole drive there. Couldn't figure it out.

Got to work and grabbed my lunch, only to realize I had actually grabbed the baby monitor.

Nicotine Support

went to a high school in the early 90s where smoking in the bathrooms between classes was very, very common, even though it was punishable by an $80 fine. You were required to say "it's cool" when entering the bathroom or kids would assume you were a teacher and put their cigarettes out. Not doing so could get your a** whooped. Like most kids in my school I became so used to it that it was second nature. I got a job in IT immediately after leaving high school, in a nice office building where I had to wear a tie. I'll never forget walking into the bathroom and loudly saying "it's cool," and the president of the company saying "what's cool?" with a confused look on his face. I just stood there like a dope for a second, and then made up something about it being part of a song. I'm sure he thought I was a weirdo after that.

Article source.

Note: Comments have been edited for clarity.

Image by Karen Warfel from Pixabay

If you're looking for your soulmate, it can be hard to really gauge who is truly “the one", especially if they've had back luck in the past. Trust me, it took many attempts to figure my romantic life out before finding my husband. But when you know, you know--and once you do, everything just beautifully falls into place.

Anyone that has found their soulmate usually can pinpoint the moment they had this realization. Here are a few real-life stories.

DeepDarkSiege asked: How did you know you found the one?

Sometimes it’s truly the usually mundane things that lights up your romantic life. In the words of the musical Company, “it’s the little things you do together that make perfect relationships.”

​The true test of any relationship.

When I found myself enjoying the little things - just because I was doing them with her.

Grocery shopping, running errands, just the mundane stuff that makes up every day.

Puzzled_Penguin46

My husband will wander off in the grocery store and then peek around the corner of an aisle at me and say weird stuff like "hey lady" or "looking good" or just nonsensical screeching. Or he will come up and smack my butt and run off. It's so immature but I always crack a smile.

Potatotay

This is so important!

Peanut Butter Animation GIF by Jif Giphy

I realized that if I happened to be doing or experiencing something fun, I always wanted her around to share it with. That, and we argue well and don't hold grudges.

TheKingofOklahoma

I love the fact that me and my GF resolve arguments like mature adults and we never stay mad at each other.

Base4yoface

​You feel like an old shoe.

Everything feels effortless.

Comprehensive_Log239

This sums it up exactly. So many of my friends and family stay in failing relationships for so long. Everything is fraught with drama and disagreement.

On my 2nd date with my now wife I told her 'You feel like an old shoe.' Comfortable and familiar, easy to get along with, happy to talk with for hours or enjoy hours of silence together. When the fights happen they are brief and uncontentious, and there's no lingering bitterness. Also, she totally understood and accepted the romanticism of being called an Old Shoe.

Antiwittgenstein

Chemistry is one of the most important elements of a relationship (accidental pun there).

​There is always hope.

Initial chemistry. I was doing the on-line dating thing, and had been on a dozen+ dates of varying degrees of awkwardness and disaster. I was fed up with it.

I logged onto the dating site to delete my account and embrace the Billy-no-dates life, when this woman gave me a nudge. I was kind of blunt and said I was done with it all, and didn't want to go through another 2 to 3 weeks of on-line chat only to meet up and have nothing to talk about.

I said if she wanted to meet up and name the place fine. If she found that too forward and a red-flag then also fine. She said she'd also experienced similar problems and also wanted to skip straight to the IRL meet.

I am not that chatty. But we met up at about 2pm at a local pub. We were there until kicking-out at 11pm. It flew. I had a sore throat by the end of it.

A few weeks ago we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary.

ExxInferis

So sweet.

couples love GIF Giphy

The chemistry between us was unreal, my wife said the first time she met me she had the overwhelming urge to hug me. 18 years later we're still awesome together.

She just always says as soon as she first saw me she knew we were meant to be together. We often read each others minds, I can heal her with my hands when she has pain and the sex even after 3 kids and 18 years together is still like being a pair of teenagers.

She's my best friend, my soul mate and my lover. I would love to be a millionaire then I could just spend every minute of every day with her forevermore. I'm blessed.

CleanGeologist6756

Sappy, but sweet.

I can fall asleep when he's cuddled with me. As someone that hasn't had the best relationships, it's the first time I've felt safe enough to just let myself be at rest. The first time I saw him (we were long distance for 6 months), my whole being felt at peace.

Yes it's sappy as heck, but honestly this is the first time feeling this way.

JaxAnGo

That’s how you know.

Meeting my spouse felt like seeing a loved one after they'd been gone on a long trip. I felt the same way when our child was born. No magical Disney moment, just 'oh, there you are. I've missed you and I'm glad you're back.'

Psnugbootybug

Not to mention the bigger gestures that truly blow you away as their partner.

Thrown into the deep end.​

Introduce Season 2 GIF by The Bold Type Giphy

I am extremely lucky, as my father and I are absolutely best buds. He was diagnosed with cancer and it quickly spread throughout his body. He has been slowly declining over time. I know I found the one when my then-boyfriend (now fiancé) came to meet my parents.

Low and behold they were throwing me a surprise party and he got introduced to 30 family members. He was thrown into the deep end! He was kind and respectful to everyone. But what really took the cake was he sat down and talked to my otherwise very gruff, but long-winded dad. He talked to him for 2 hours, about life, love, my dad's experiences and I saw my dad give a few loud long laughs. It was rare those days.

He's remained close with my father as he nears the end and his constant effort to create memories and bring my dad joy speaks so much about who he is as a person.

We are getting married next week and I couldn't have found a more goofy, kind, loving and respectful man.

Lolabunnybutderp

What an amazing person.

I knew she was the one when my best friend who was a father figure went to the hospital and his organs were failing. They gave him 2 days to live and it all happened to fast that I called her and said we'd have to cancel our dinner plans with her mom (I was crying on the phone explaining why) all she said was "which hospital" and I told her the location.

I got there before her and held my dads hand. This diamond of a woman comes in with a chimichanga and large Fanta orange soda, no ice (my favorite) she sits right next to me and feeds me as I am holding my dying friend's hand crying hysterically. While he was loaded up on morphine she made a smart ass crack to me and actually made him chuckle. It was a half chuckles but he heard her! I will marry this woman. Mark my words.

JewishWolf26

A good partner always does this.

Knowing this person passively inspired me to be a better person, try harder in my efforts, and take risks to push myself as well as enjoy my life. I realized they were "the one" when they felt the same way.

Johoku

As for me, I knew my husband was the one when I realized I never got sick of his company. Usually, I get exhausted being around people, and I need a break. I never have with him--he's just such a delight to be around.

And if you haven't found the one and this article is making you sad, don't lose hope. Everyone's timeline is different, and you never know when you will meet your soulmate. Don't lose hope--it'll come when you least expect it

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