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People Admit How Their Lives Would Be If They Married Their First Crush

People Admit How Their Lives Would Be If They Married Their First Crush

People Admit How Their Lives Would Be If They Married Their First Crush

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Have you ever looked around and taken stock of your life? Ever wondered how things would be change if you'd made a different choice along the way? One of the biggest and most important choices a person can make is who they spend their lives with. One Reddit user asked:

What would your life be like if you married your first crush?

The question got us thinking ... if we had actually married Jem would we have gotten to be one of the Holograms? Would we have to put up with Rio's b.s. for forever, or maybe saved poor Jem from him? Not everyone's first crush ended up quite as dramatic, but we picked 20 of our favorite responses to share with you. There are cheaters, coming out stories, snapchat filters and Criss Angel ahead.

So brace yourselves, be ready to check Facebook to see how your first crush is doing, grab some ice cream in case that ends up being a bad idea, and click next.

Cheating

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She'd have cheated on me numerous times, sadly i actually dated her for three weeks and it ended via cheating and then the word around school was cheating on other men as well, she still does it from what i'm hearing from my social group, she was engaged and he broke it off because she was cheating

Small Town Royalty

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I probably wouldn't have ever left the bumf* town we grew up in. She was third generation "small-town royalty" and had no aspirations to ever leave. So, I would be going to high school football games and probably substituting at the middle school or working at the power plant.

Emma

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Emma Watson and I would be quite happy.

I grew up with the Harry Potter movies.

Studying Apart

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I would be in Ireland working on my third thesis on Irish mythology while he lived state side with our dogs while studying opera.

I only know this because my friend is currently dating my first crush. Marriage isn't really on the table because they don't believe in it as an institution. Our friend group is 99% sure that she's his beard, but they're both happy so who are we to judge.

Didn't Know Her At All

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Probably pretty terrible. I was not at all mature enough to enter a long-term relationship when I was ten years old. I really didn't know the girl at all except for her name and where she lived. I thought she was pretty, but it hadn't occurred to me yet that common interests and compatible personalities might be important.

I've been very happily married for ten years now, but I didn't even meet my spouse until I was 34 years old.

New Last Name

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... my last name would be Semen.

:(

Traveling And Having Fun

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It would be quite nice. I fell in love with him when I was 3, we were childhood friends. His dad went on to become a millionaire. He's married now and him and his wife spend their time traveling the world and having fun. He was also a pretty down-to-earth and a really nice guy, but he never liked me in a romantic way. I spent like 15 years having a crush on him.

Cardio Funsies in Kenya

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I assume we'd be somewhere in Kenya, since that's where we met in kindergarten. He also probably wouldn't run away from me anymore when I tried to kiss him, unless we we kept up the "kissing tag" game for cardio funsies.

Heather

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Heather Locklear and I would still be happily married. We probably wouldn't have kids tho, since she was in her forties by the time I turned eighteen.

"He Was Sweet When We Were Five"

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My life would be extremely bad, because now he's a gangbanger, can't keep a job, does/deals several types of drugs, and he cheats on almost every girl he's been with. He was sweet when we were 5, it's a shame that this has happened to him.

Justin

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Pretty awesome, considering I'd be married to Justin Timberlake.

Fraggle Life

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I'd be married to Wembley Fraggle. Living in a cave. Ironing his Hawaiian shirts. Sleeping in a hole in a rock. My bff would be Mokey. Not a bad life really.

MLM

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I'd be dealing with #bossbabe MLM shit all f_*_ing day.

He's Gay

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He's gay, so that probably wouldn't have worked well in the end.

Man Hater

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I'd be divorced and dealing with a lot of animosity.

She came out as a lesbian about 10 years ago and (as bad as this may sound) is pretty much full blown anti-male now.

Would Recommend

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I did. It's neat.

Lynda

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I'd be pretty happy, I guess. Lynda Carter is still ridiculously beautiful.

Criss

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I'm actually not sure what Criss Angel is up to these days...

Dog Face Snapchat

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She turned out one of those dog face Snapchat girls posting selfies in the bathroom and always in drama

Red Hair And Freckles

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My first crush was a very beautiful girl names Emma at my Oakville school with pale skin fire red hair and freckles. If we had gotten married I'd imagine we'd have 2 beautiful interracial babies, realize we made a huge mistake getting married in grade 6, get divorced and be bitter and antagonize each other through our children for the next few decades

Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public

Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.

historical reenactors
Sigmund on Unsplash

We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.

History is riddled with moments of absurdity.

So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.

Keep reading...Show less