Every second of life is precious and every breathe we take is fragile. We often tend to be blind and ignore the fact that every second and every breathe could be our last and final. But once and awhile life will throw us a little something to remind us. When you are in fear for your life it all falls into perspective. And as traumatizing as events like that are we have to look at what we can learn from them.Redditor u/YachtRockSantaMonica wanted everyone to discuss all the times they felt life was fragile enough to be concerned by asking.... [SERIOUS] What's the SCARIEST thing that has EVER happened where you feared for your life?
Same thing happened to my younger brother decades ago. A storm was rolling in over the water and the lifeguard was calling people in, but my ~6yo brother instead was floating further and further out. We could see him bobbing in between waves, getting more distant with each one that crested.
Lifeguard eventually sees him and swims way out with his float device and brings him back. I spent the rest of vacation entirely sick to the stomach over it.
We grew up somewhat near the coast where rip-tide formation was extremely common, so suffice to say we were brought up with rip-tide swimming techniques getting drilled into our heads. I've been caught in a few smaller ones and have been able to swim my way out since, but he was just so young he didn't know what to do. Scary as all hell.
Every time I drove with my former step dad. He liked to take a bunch of pills (Xanax and Hydro's ) and would fall asleep behind the wheel while almost speeding if not already speeding. I would have to spend up to a few hours watching the road and him at the same time screaming at him to wake up and watch where he was going. then he'd get mad at me because he claimed to be in control the whole time. we did this for years until around the time before he died where he seemed to be genuinely trying to get his shit together but before he's wrecked his/my moms car on multiple occasions.
At a friend's barbecue, I stupidly decided to swim from one end of the pool to the other UNDER the pool cover. Got about half way and was smoked, so went to push up the cover to get some air.
It doesn't work that way.
After a few efforts to push the cover up, and a moment of sheer panicked flapping, I realize I have to swim for the edge. Being pretty wigged out, my brain doesn't go to the closest edge at the side of the pool, but for the far end.
I made it there just, while my vision was starting to go a bit dark and blurry, and crawled, gasping, out up the steps, flopped down on my back and coughed up the last of the water I'd taken in.
As I finally sat up, someone handed me a beer. None of my mates had a clue what had just nearly happened, and I find myself wondering when I think about it since, how long they'd have left me under there before realizing something was wrong.
Husband was driving box van through Toledo headed for Detroit, me in the passenger seat. Got hit by one of those sudden hard wind gusts while in the middle lane on the I280 suspended bridge over the river and it scooted us over a full lane and a half. I was looking out the window and down over the guardrail to the water below and eternity. That was the day I learned real terror will make you sick because for the next 30 minutes neither me nor my spouse could speak without retching from the horror of it.
During the wine country fires in 2017 a social media call for help went out from a place that needed to evacuate horses quickly. I grew up on a horse farm so my buddy who had a livestock trailer came and picked me up and we went to help. If you've seen those videos of people driving through forest fires and it looks like night time in the middle of the day, it was exactly like that. Walls of fire on either side of us and heat so intense I can/t describe it. We got every horse out but we both had to go to the hospital for smoke inhalation.
I was very young, around 9/10, going into surgery to get teeth taken out. While they had the mask on the knock me out, I started coughing and trying to sit up, they told me to calm down, I had never been in surgery before and started freaking out. When I freak out, I vomit. But I was laying down and it was stuck in my throat. I kept trying to sit up but the nurse has holding the mask over my face pretty tight, and I wasn't a very strong kid.
I struggled for about thirty seconds and started to feel a tight pressure in my head and behind my eyes, the only reason they noticed was because I hadn't been knocked out yet since I haven't been breathing. Sat me up and I spewed everywhere and was gasping like crazy, scared the doctor half to death when he walked in. Worst feeling ever, and as a kid I really thought I was gonna die.
I crashed my moped into the back of a tractor on a small country road, went flying and narrowly avoided getting my head crushed by the wheel. The scariest part was realizing later that I nearly died (and telling my dad). At the time and In the immediate aftermath I was stupidly calm. I think my brain prescribed a me a massive dose of hormones.
I was being chased by a biker late at night. He didn't like my driving I guess and flipped me off, yelled at me to stop my car and chased me around the area and even onto the highway before I lost him by going into a Walmart parking lot. Guess he didn't want any witnesses for whatever it was he had planned. He was the typical cliche biker: big older dude, bandana, tattoos, leather jacket.
I slipped on a steep slope on a mountain... it was going to end in a cliff. Instead of going off the cliff, I managed to go into a clump of thorny bushes... there was barely any difference between swiss cheese and me...
I didn't think I would die but the scariest day of my life was taking my newborn son home from the hospital. My partner had left me because he didn't think he was old enough to be a father (he was 27) so I was totally alone, my parents picked us up from hospital but just dropped us off at the door of my tiny bedsit, no offers of help or support.
I walked through the door with my brand new baby and just cried with fright and loneliness. Luckily, instinct and common sense kicked in and we survived, life eventually got better I'm glad to say but I'll never forget that awful feeling.
I was held down by my throat by a man who said he was going to kill me. He was about to hit me when we were interrupted by a very brave man who also testified in court as a witness for me. I think I'd be dead if he hadn't come along. He assaulted and robbed another woman that evening too. I remember thinking "so this is how it ends" and feeling so gutted that I would die this way.
I got caught in a riptide off Daytona Beach. I was just floating not too far off the shore with a friend (future wife but that's another story) and her younger cousin. They got hungry so they went back to shore to get some food, but I was just in a good mood, floating in the water and relaxing so I wanted to stay out for a bit. I kind of zoned out looking out at the horizon and all the boats off in the distance, it all felt very calm even though the waves were pretty strong.
Eventually I turned around to start heading back to the beach and I realized I was MUCH further way from the shore than I thought, and there weren't any other people near me anymore. I started swimming back to land but the beach wasn't getting any closer. I panicked a little, and I tried to swim as hard and fast as I possibly could to get back to the beach. After a minute or two I came to the grim realization that the beach was still getting further away. I started to truly feel like my life was in danger.
I was about to really freak out when a random surfer paddled over and ask me if I needed help. I said yes, and he grabbed my hand in one of his and kept paddling with the other. He explained "you looked like you were in trouble. When you get stuck in these things, you gotta swim parallel to the shore to get out of them." He pulled me to the left and dropped me off in much calmer waters.
I swam toward the beach and this time actually made progress, until I could stand and walk back onto dry land. I was nowhere near where I started, and it was a long walk to get back to our spot on the beach but I've never been more thankful for a long walk.
Wow I'm from London and I got mugged a couple of times. 2 guys strangled me from the back and another 2 guys were in front of me searching me for my phone. Luckily someone working in a shop nearby saw this and immediately called the police. Thanks that worker to this day.
I met him after it all happened to thank him.
I didn't know him before. I recently found him on social media and sent him a message telling him I was married with two children now and it was all thanks to him that I was able to do that. He sent a lovely reply. He seemed and still seems like a really decent human being. I know that the experience was frightening for him too but I hope he gained something from it just like I did.
After dinner with friends walked alone to my car and two dudes show up and one slams me against my car demanding me to open the car door. I panicked and threw the keys, and out of surprise the guy let go of me and I hauled butt to the nearest open public place. Car jacking gone stupid because when the cops got there, they left the keys in the ignition and ran away. Cops assume they couldn't drive a manual.
I was home alone when I was 11 and someone tried to break in. I hid in the pantry and called the cops. Scariest 15 minutes of my life.
Here's something quite recent that happened.
I was out for a morning bike ride at 8 am, I was biking around this secluded spot with a bunch of trees around; foresty area.
As I was biking along, a DAMN MOOSE jumps straight out of the trees and almost charges at me. But the moose saw me, got startled and hesitantly jumps back into the trees where it came from.
For people who have never seen a moose, they're freaking giant. Actually seeing them in person is a way scarier experience, especially about to charge straight at you. I was shaken as hell.
I was robbed at gun point. One of the guys kept saying "shoot him, shoot him". Fortunately he was not the guy with a gun. I am glad he made the choice he made.
The earthquake in Washington, DC in 2011. I'm from California so I wasn't new to earthquakes, but when it first began to shake, it didn't immediately register what was happening. First, I thought it was the Metro, but then I realized I was no where near a stop. Next I thought, terrorist attack, but there were no explosions, fire, or smoke. It finally dawned on me it was an earthquake, and I was about to shrug it off like I was used to back home, but then I suddenly remembered where I was. And that there aren't earthquakes in DC.
The apartment I lived in at the time was built in the late 50s, early 60s and the noises it was making sounded like the steel beams were twisting and straining. The swaying and sound it made was terrifying. I realized I had no where to run, no where to go, and just stood looking out my window frozen. When I saw everyone running out of the building, I knew I wouldn't make it out in time if the building collapsed, so at that moment I accepted I was going to die.
It was the strangest sensation. Total calm and acceptance, yet indescribable horror. There was no damage or injuries reported in my building, but I will never be able to shake that experience. Not the earthquake itself, but that split second where I believed I was going to die.
I flipped a semi truck onto a median and slid 300 yards in Utica, NY. Almost slid off a mountain in PA somewhere in a semi. I no longer drive 18 wheelers. I stumbled out the cab and over to the other embankment. If I was going North, I stumbled across the road to S. While watching my near death experience, a car pull up close to me and two people got out and I heard them say "I wonder is driver still in there!?" while walking toward the tractor leaking diesel (30k environmental damage is what i was told). I didn't know diesel didn't explode so I had to stop them.
I woke up to a phone call in the hotel from Ron (hated that guy):
After making sure I was ok and telling me the damage, "Well, your fired."
How do I get home?
"Thats your concern... bye."
Like 3 days after my 23rd year on the planet. I resided in Michigan at the time. Had to move to Pittsburgh, PA cause it was closer and least expensive to travel to. I'm in Texas now.
i had a gun held to my head during a robbery. I knew a girl for 3 years who was pretty beaten down by life, i felt bad for her and tried to help her out as best as i could, buying her groceries, helping out with her kid, etc. wasn't attracted to her or anything just felt bad as she was otherwise fun to talk to and hang out. eventually she got a boyfriend who looked like trailer trash, he eventually learned the cost of my photography gear and told her that he wanted to rob me and she agreed to help.
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Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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