Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me and... everybody you can possibly think of. Why are we so timid do discuss this issue? It's really an American issue. The Europeans seem fine to openly share naughty details and run around naked in front of one another. But in America the topic is still taboo. That's why so many artists push so many boundaries with the topic, to spark discussion. And it's imperative that the discussion be fact-based. Too many schools are handing out information to students that will only cause more problems later. Abstinence is not the only answer and quite frankly, is unlikely. Time to spill facts.
Redditor u/bongzmcdongz was hoping we could all rationally discuss the actualities of the birds and bees by asking... People who had "Abstinence Only" sex education, what was the most outrageous or untrue thing you were told?
***The following material is sensitive but imperative. Those under 17 should have a parental chat!***
I myself attended Catholic school, and we never once discussed the carnal. In fact, when we inquired about Mary and her "Virgin" birth, we were immediately shut down with... because it's in the Bible. What else does one expect nuns to say? Now I did leave Catholic school after eighth grade, so I have no idea what they taught in high school, but it's probably safe to assume they mostly skim the actual facts. Maybe I'm wrong... let's see.
Something is Missingx factor what GIFGiphy
I was given a diagram of the female anatomy in which the clitoris had been erased-- as in someone went into MS paint and whited it out on a line drawing of the exterior of the vulva. The urethra, vagina, labia, anus were labelled, and then at the top of the labia, it was whited out.
the what is a WHAT?!
That the actual vagina opening is as small as the tip of a pencil. I also never knew women didn't pee from their vaginas until I was 16. I'm 19 now and learned more from crap-posts on the internet than I ever had in school.
"I also never knew women didn't pee from their vaginas until I was 16."
Actual quote from my 9th grade health class:
"If you have sex, chances are you won't get HIV. But, chances are you will."
Kissing is Grosscreep no GIF by Manny404Giphy
Kissing gets you pregnant.
Same except the nuns told us that French kissing in a bathing suit would get you pregnant. Also, they said you shouldn't go on a date to a restaurant that uses white tablecloths because that looks like sheets which would make your date think of bed and you'd end up having sex.
Girls and boys had to go to different rooms during sex-Ed. The girls were told that "abstinence is the best option because sex is painful." The boys weren't told that.
I understand that sex can be painful for some people, but pretending sex isn't a source of pleasure at all for women is flat out wrong and depressing.
See, now how in the world is any of that considered education? Would you teach addition without using numbers? It's sex people. It's a part of the everyday cycle of life. Some of those responses are truly shocking. I would have laughed out loud even at a young age. It all sounds made up. Oh wait most of that was. Shall we continue?
"Dress" for the occasion...
My girlfriend's sex Ed program in middle school included a wedding dress that they splattered with red paint.
I'm assuming it symbolizes the blood of first sex, which, if is before marriage, taints the pureness of the ritual and thus ruins everything. TLDR sex bad don't screw before ring. Idiots.
For the Girls
We were shown a video where a lady said she could tell if a girl was a virgin just by looking into her eyes. The implication was that premarital sex causes your spirit to die so that you become just a shell with nothing to offer.
Edit to add: I'm sure you can guess that she didn't say the same applied for the boys, as if teenage girls are the only ones to blame for anyone having premarital sex.
At Once?Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
Having sex with 1 person is like having sex with 100 people.
The instructor gave all the boys in the class chewing gum and let them chew on it for a few minutes. Then she asked them if any of them wanted to share. Of course none did. Then she asked if they didn't want to share gum, why would they want to share sex partners?
This was in a co-ed class so all the girls in the class got to see too.
We Pray ALOT!!golden girls blanche GIF by HULUGiphy
I was taught in school that self pleasure was also a sin. So as a young girl discovering her body, every time I masturbated, I'd cry because I thought I was going to hell.
I don't know how many times I prayed to God asking for forgiveness.
My dad pointed to a teenage couple hugging when i was a kid and told me thats how you get pregnant.
Months later at the fair my aunt put my 5 yr old cousin on the back of my horse and told him to wrap his arms around my waist to hold on. My heart sank. Later that day I shamefully told my dad that my 5 yr old cousin got me pregnant.
So I'm Irish and Catholic.
Growing up in Dublin we had church sanctioned sex education, some of the highlights:
-All penises are the same size when erect (we were 14 and this was hilarious to us)
-Being gay is just a phase
-No method of birth control is reliable (including oral sex and body rubbing).
Opposite story: I went to a Catholic high school. My Health teacher was a progressive. So she closed the door and said "Listen, ok, sure, masturbation is a sin or whatever, but it's actually fine. You gotta, you know, clean out the pipes once in a while. Now if your friends ask you to go to the movies and your answer is 'Sorry, gotta stay home and masturbate' probably step it back a bit."
Used UpBubble Gum GIF by QuavoGiphy
This woman once compared a teenage girl who's had premarital sex as chewed up bubble gum. She then switched the comparison to a pair of worn out shoes. Crap you not.
I was convinced that saliva was involved in the baby-making process. Not that you'd kiss someone and then boom pregnant, but that someone's saliva over time would make their baby look like you. The more saliva, the stronger the resemblance.
Long story short I spit in my cousin's drinks for a solid 2 months because I wanted her baby (she was pregnant at the time) to look like me (who was 8)
ETA: this was about 25 years ago, and also I'm a woman! That's how absolutely terrible my sex education was.
Um... Next Question
The teacher said that you can only really love one sexual partner and that's why it's so important that your spouse be your first and only partner. One of my classmates raised her hand and said, "My mom died when I was a baby and my dad's been married to my stepmom for ten years. Does that mean he only loves one of them?"
The teacher just looked uncomfortable and moved on to how premarital sex causes depression.
This is probably pretty tame, but Sophomore year our teacher told us using multiple condoms at a time increases its effectiveness.
I then asked my mom the same thing, and her whole job is to teach safe sex to youth.
Spoiler alert: do not layer condoms. It sounds good in practice, but you're actually weakening the condoms and wasting them.
Utah's sex ed policy was/is crap.
Wonder why...lucy liu film GIFGiphy
Went to public school and had real sex ed but had a history teacher who told us that sex before marriage is a sin, because every time you have sex you get pregnant.
And if a kid is born outside of wedlock they are going to hell and we will also go to hell for damning the baby's soul before it's even born. She said condoms and any other birth control is an insult to God and a way for atheists to try and outsmart him. She didn't work there after that year. Wonder why...
Condoms don't always work so it's better to not use them.
If you ejaculate on a girl (yes, "on") she will get pregnant. Regardless of if you had sex or not.
Boys get so horny sometimes they can't control themselves. So girls, it's up to you to remove temptation for the boys.
Birth control pills disrupt a girl's hormones so badly she will become barren.
Pieces of Me
That every time I (a girl) had sex I was giving away a part of my soul. So each sex partner whittled away bits of my soul. If I had sex before marriage my God-given husband would only get a tiny scrap instead of a full half and thus wouldn't be able to love me as much as he would if I'd waited? Honestly it's pretty confusing. This was taught in my Christian private school.
I can't with any of that. It's really shameful. We can't send kids out into the world misinformed. It will only lead to people learning in ways that are even more worrisome. And most parents don't seem comfortable enough to chat about it. Loosen up people. The future of generations is at stake. I'm not saying don't practice abstinence but let's explore all of the options as well. Sex. Say it. Do it. Safely.
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Friendship is not something that can be forced.
As with any kind of relationship, it all depends on compatibility and chemistry, and thus must happen organically.
On the flip side though, it can be pretty clear when people will not end up being your friends, owing to a fundamental difference in personality or beliefs.
Redditor Chola_Bhatora was curious to hear the type of people the Reddit community would never become chummy with, leading them to ask:
"What kind of person would you never be friends with?"
Basically, people who aren't nice
"People who don't apologize for their mistakes, blame others for their problems, and generally complain without doing anything about their situation."
"Oh, and generally a**holes."- NerdyDadGuy1981
"People who are overly rude and constantly laugh it off and call themselves 'a**holes' as if it is an uncontrollable character trait."- Business_Grand7665
Don't you twist my words around!
"People that distort what you said."- Mystery_Ireal housewives lies GIF by leeannelockenGiphy
Just take some responsibility!
"People who can never admit they're wrong about anything."
"No matter how blatantly wrong."- Rachfo44
Say it to my face!
"The kind that talks behind your back."- 0breanna0
Are you sure about that?
"Someone who thinks they already know everything."- Fragrant-Crow-4513know it all boomerang GIFGiphy
Then why aren't I laughing?
"Someone that puts you down in front of your other friends.. 'as a joke'."- motherfugher
How well do you actually know them?
"People who abuse your trust and honesty to manipulate you, especially when they disguise it so well."
"Had it one too many times, thankfully gets easier to spot but some people are freakishly good at it."- nothingjustk
Yeah, well mine's better!
"One uppers."- BasedChickenTendiekristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Someone needs a lesson in self respect...
"I'm a woman."
"Had a classmate strike a conversation with me for the first time."
"2 minutes in said she doesn't have female friends because all women are b*tches."
"Why are you talking to me then?"
"What do you think you are?"- Minimum_Greedy
As Jane Austen famously explored in Pride and Prejudice, first impressions can often be misleading.
But every now and then, they can give a crystal clear depiction of who someone really is.
Which could easily be someone you do not want to be friends with.
Age is just a number.
We all hope to stay sexy until the end.
And even when we don't feel sexy, maybe there will be people who still think we are.
Redditor Debonair-Redditor21wanted to hear about famous crushes that enter into the "Harold & Maude" territory. They asked:
"Who is the oldest celebrity that you still find attractive?"
All Hail Dame Helen Mirren. Is there anything else to say?
How Old?Viggo Mortensen Peace GIF by Golden GlobesGiphy
"Viggo Mortensen. Very handsome at 63."
"Damn, he is 63? Time flies."
"Elvira. Cassandra Peterson. Just turned 70 and still breaks out that amazing personality at every appearance."'
"Omg. I saw the BEST suggestion for a movie ever. Elvira & Dolly Parton playing their stage personas as estranged sisters who must team up to fight evil."
Fatalejane seymour call me kitty cat GIFGiphy
"Jane Seymour. 71 and still stunning."
"Live and Let Die. Incredible, and she'll always be in my mind as Elise McKenna, the woman so beautiful that Christopher Reeve's character went back to be with her in Somewhere in Time. I totally get the desire."
"Susanna Hoffs (63)."
"Plot twist: She sang 'Walk Like an Egyptian' because she's immortal and actually lived in Ancient Egypt."
"She was my first crush. As a child, I used to watch MTV for hours just for that moment when she cut her eyes in the 'Walk Like an Egyptian' video."
I am loving this list. I didn't think I would.
Maddymads mikkelsen hannibal GIFGiphy
"You mean my daddy issues? Damn I love that guy. Death Stranding really nailed how he can come through a medium without much hassle."
My Biological Clock
"Jesus, I was so confused watching the new Spider-Man movies with Marisa as Aunt May. Marisa Tomei is perpetually the hot 80s chick in my head, also Jennifer Connelly. I was watching Morbius and seeing Requiem for a Dream and Career Opportunities. I AM OLD, I GUESS."
"Christopher Plummer, right up until the day he died at 92."
"I first saw ‘The Sound of Music’ as a child, watched in many times, know if off by heart etc. I didn’t watch for many years."
"Then as an adult I wanted to introduce a friend’s kid to it, put it on, and spent the next couple of hours absolutely dumbstruck by how hot Christopher Plummer was. It had never struck me before that time but go**amn have I never forgotten. No wonder Maria chose the Captain, if I had to choose between him and God I know who my pick would be."
"Timothy Olyphant. Idk what it is about him. He's so funny, charming, and handsome that I don't care how much older than me he is."
"I do NOT get tired of watching him; he is so expressive. In Catch and Release there's a scene where he and Jennifer Garner are having a conversation that consists entirely of gestures and facial expressions. Hilarious!"
"He is amazing in Justified and Deadwood... hell, pretty much everything. I think I just found out I may have a man-crush on the dude lol."
YeohMichelle Yeoh No GIF by RegalGiphy
"Ugh she was a vision in Everything Everywhere All at Once. And if she doesn't win all the awards then there is something really wrong with the voting system."
"Oof that's kind of a hard one. Without looking up a bunch of older actors I think I'd have to go with Ken Watanabe. I think he's in his early 60s now and the last time I saw a recent pic of him he was still looking fine AF. And an honorable mention is Steve Carell... I don't know what it is but he keeps getting hotter with age. I was never attracted to him until he did that silver fox photo shoot with the paint brush 'n shi*t."
total class act...
"Stanley Tucci. As my mom says about handsome men, he just looks like he smells good."
"He visited our hotel a few weeks ago. As the Restaurant Manager I was specifically told that my team and I were not to treat him any different to other guests, which we don't."
"The guy was a total class act polite, courteous, and always keen for a chat. Never mentioned his movies, his career, but was there to enjoy time with his family, and they themselves were also a joy to be around. Can confirm he always had a slight aroma of warm cinnamon."
Well that is a long list of sexy. Cheers to growing sexy with age.
We all have our likes and dislikes when it comes to food.
While some people might not be able to stop eating certain foods, the very thought of that same food is enough to make others gag.
Then there are the foods which are universally considered to be delicious delicacies, the foods so revered that it is assumed that everyone must find them delicious.
Only, not everyone does.
Redditor jamboamericano was curious to hear which foods the Reddit community couldn't quite grasp the appeal of, leading them to ask:
"What a food in your opinion that quite simply sucks and you don’t understand the hype behind it?"
How do you make a bland food even more bland?
"As someone from the UK I don't get why so many people here love mushy peas."
"I find peas relatively tasteless and gross as they are, mushing them just makes the texture gross as well."- MHC1905
More healthy, less tasty...
"Zucchini pasta."-- dannyboyhou
Who knew fish eggs would be so popular?
"I feel like whoever buys that sh*t doesn't actually like it and uses it to flaunt their money."- WapplesAreDelishAudrey Tautou Food GIFGiphy
Hold the guac!
"The early 2010s was a difficult time for me."
'"I f*cking hate avocado."- drunky_crowette
No matter where it came from...
You mean it's supposed to burn my tongue?!?
"I don't get the appeal of chili that is made to be as hot and spicy as humanly possible, to the point that it hurts to eat it."
"'I make my chili with the five hottest peppers known to man and a dash of snake venom to kick it up a notch'."
"That, and tofu."- MiddleAgedGamer71Homer Simpson Eating GIFGiphy
Brand names can never beat homemade!
"Industrial ice cream."
"The taste is WAAAY worse than the handmade one."- pensodiforse
Disgusting AND dirty...
"My wife tried to convince me to like them by saying 'they taste like dirt!'"
"Needless to say, this was an ineffective approach."- Neilpuck
Just because it's healthy, doesn't mean it's good...
"I don’t care how it’s prepared, there’s just no point to it."- protogens
Butter makes everything taste better... or does it?
"I uh, I don't get it.'
"It always tastes a bit flavorless and just alright to me."
"Then I see people dip it in butter and yea thats fine and all and it tastes great, but then I get the feeling I'm just tasting the butter and what the f*ck is the point of this $30 dish exactly?"- Sonder332Food Porn Butter GIF by Food Network CanadaGiphy
Some might accuse those who dislike the above-mentioned foods of not having a distinguished palette.
But maybe their palette's are so distinguished, that they know when they're tasting a fraud?
Either way, to each their own.
Happiness is one of those abstract and amorphous things that nobody can quite pinpoint, but everyone knows when they feel it.
It can be triggered by lots of things - a great meal, an old friend, your favorite episode of your favorite show...
Happy looks different for us all, but maybe that's whyReddit user MyForever_NameNow asked:
"What’s the happiest you’ve ever felt?"
The same situation might make one person miserable while making another elated ... so let's see where Reddit finds their joy.
Time Travelingseason 2 GIFGiphy
"Once I was driving from Philly to Las Vegas. On one leg of the trip, I got a bit of a late start and I really wanted McDonalds breakfast (this was before they served it all day)."
"My clock said 10:22, and I was about 15 miles from the next exit, so I knew I would never make it. Then I crossed over a time zone and my clock changed."
"Not gonna lie, best story I've read in awhile. I'm now happy for you."
"It’s like the world willed you into having breakfast that morning , like the earth moved in order to give you what you needed … kind of epic"
A Poetic Mishap
"This might be weird but I keep thinking back to this and how I will never have this experience again: I was 13, nerdy, loved to draw, grew up rural. My Grandma lived close to a big city."
"Went to visit her in the Summer and then went to an Japanese culture fest in said city. I was overwhelmed by the experience. Bought two super sweet Neon Genisis Evangelion artbooks."
"When I went back to Grandma's place by train, I missed the stop and got off one stop later. It was quite late already, but a warm summer night. Next train back would come in 2hrs. These two hours, alone during a summer night with two artbooks at a tiny, rural train stop surrounded by trees and absolutely nobody else around were pure bliss. A weird feeling of peaceful, 'liminal' joy that I can't properly explain. Different happiness than love, etc."
"I haven't really told this story to many people because I know nobody would truly understand the feeling, and that would kinda ruin my memory."
"That’s dope. Sometimes we forget to just stop and really enjoy the moment"
Endless Young LoveHappy Season 5 GIF by This Is UsGiphy
"I remember being in 8th grade watching a movie at my girlfriends house and we were giggling and commentating on the movie the whole time and just remember thinking I would marry her someday."
"I’m now 29 and we still giggle and commentate on every movie just like we did when we were kids, but that “young love” feeling is a very happy feeling for the first time, I’m just so lucky to still have those feelings 15+ years later"
"Ok, but seriously, my spouse and I are also several years into our honeymoon and it's quite nice."
It Was A Good Day
"Trying to keep up with my dog and boyfriend as they ran along the beach chasing the dolphins that were in the water. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. It was a sunny March day so nobody up and down for miles, just us. The bright blue sky and glimmer coming off the ocean - the salty mist while the waves crashed and the cold ocean at our feet."
"God I haven’t ever felt so alive in my whole life. It was one of those moments where I wished I could have it burned into my memory. Like I could tuck it away and live in it forever."
"That was a good f*cking day."
"That’s so wholesome, it sounds like a scene right out of a movie"
"I feel happy reading this"
Mutual CrushesCrush Flirting GIFGiphy
"Me and my crush were hanging out one time, and all I could say was. “I like you… a lot.” And she just smiled and said “Me too.” Has to be the happiest day of my life so far."
"I live near a popular district in Kansas City and I once bumped into a young man who'd just professed his love for someone, and he was so overjoyed I couldn't help but ask him what had happened."
"It made me really happy to see how happy he was."
"Same thing happened to me, she told me she liked me and it took me about 3 minutes to fully process what she had said and how to respond. I ended up saying "same bro". Well we're together now but that was a pretty stupid response."
" 'So far' I like your attitude"
"5 years sober"
"Mad respect, I'm very proud of you internet stranger!"
"I'm right behind you with 4 years. Congrats Feels great to be me again"
That First Cry
"When my youngest was born, she really wanted out and my wife made it to the bathtub, and she came out with my help, she had the umbilical cord around her neck and I managed to get my finger under that and free her, that first cry made me so happy."
"She's eleven now and sitting on the couch right now eating chocolate and watching TV..."
"Kid's first cry was mine was well."
"Wow that's insane! Great job! When the umbilical cord wraps around the neck it's called a nucal. It can be pretty dangerous, especially in an emergency labor setting."
"I always thought I would never want to deliver a baby. And then we learned about emergency labor situations in the EMT course I took and I fell in love. Once again, great job! That must've been scary."
"I was taking a walk in December last year when everything around me in my personal life was hell. A feeling of calm washed over me, and I started to look at how beautiful the sky was. I was crystalline in that perfect moment, and cried a few happy tears."
"I realized that being "present" is the only way to truly live... The past and the future are illusions and robbers of life. Ever since then I am extremely committed to finding beauty in every day things. I frequently feel very happy now, because I never run out of things to marvel at."
"Dude I feel that. I lost my mom and several other family members in the last few years, went through a major breakup, had to move a bunch, plus all the COVID stress. I'm stressed a lot, mostly tired, but sometimes a moment washes over me and I'm just so grateful to be alive, looking at a sunset or a tree or the Christmas lights in my living room. Something about going through hell really makes you appreciate life."
"Grew up kind of poor, didn't go on my first vacation until I met the woman who'd become my wife. We went to Tennessee and got a cabin with a hot tub and some good muscadine wine."
"It was night time, gently thundering and raining, little bit of a mist coming in to the high rise porch we were on where the hot tub was, just relaxing, buzzing. To me it felt like the perfect setting, perfect feeling."
"Tied with that, she's the first person I saw the ocean with. Took over 6 hours to drive there, we unpacked, walked out to the ocean about knee deep, holding hands. The sound of the waves and the seagulls. The look of happiness on her face as she stared out."
Frogging Aroundhomer simpson frogs GIFGiphy
"My ex, who loves frogs to death, asked me to go frogging with her early unto our relationship, not to kill them, just to catch and identify them. Its one of my happiest memories and without a doubt the most attracted I've ever been to someone."
"Its actually when I started to realize how strong and how smart of a person she was which combined with everything else made be fall head over heels."
"Thats awesome man. I'd be happy to have had a unique experience like that too. No dinner and a movie, Frogging!"
Y'all ... that got unexpectedly emotional, didn't it?
Turns out that for most of us, the thing that makes us happiest is one another.
Humans are adorable sometimes.