Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me and... everybody you can possibly think of. Why are we so timid do discuss this issue? It's really an American issue. The Europeans seem fine to openly share naughty details and run around naked in front of one another. But in America the topic is still taboo. That's why so many artists push so many boundaries with the topic, to spark discussion. And it's imperative that the discussion be fact-based. Too many schools are handing out information to students that will only cause more problems later. Abstinence is not the only answer and quite frankly, is unlikely. Time to spill facts.
Redditor u/bongzmcdongz was hoping we could all rationally discuss the actualities of the birds and bees by asking... People who had "Abstinence Only" sex education, what was the most outrageous or untrue thing you were told?
***The following material is sensitive but imperative. Those under 17 should have a parental chat!***
"Facts"
I myself attended Catholic school, and we never once discussed the carnal. In fact, when we inquired about Mary and her "Virgin" birth, we were immediately shut down with... because it's in the Bible. What else does one expect nuns to say? Now I did leave Catholic school after eighth grade, so I have no idea what they taught in high school, but it's probably safe to assume they mostly skim the actual facts. Maybe I'm wrong... let's see.
Something is Missing
x factor what GIFGiphyI was given a diagram of the female anatomy in which the clitoris had been erased-- as in someone went into MS paint and whited it out on a line drawing of the exterior of the vulva. The urethra, vagina, labia, anus were labelled, and then at the top of the labia, it was whited out.
the what is a WHAT?!
That the actual vagina opening is as small as the tip of a pencil. I also never knew women didn't pee from their vaginas until I was 16. I'm 19 now and learned more from crap-posts on the internet than I ever had in school.
"I also never knew women didn't pee from their vaginas until I was 16."
Believe it or not, that puts you well ahead of the game. You'd be amazed at the amount of grown men who don't know that! 🌸.
SMDH!!
Actual quote from my 9th grade health class:
"If you have sex, chances are you won't get HIV. But, chances are you will."
Kissing is Gross
creep no GIF by Manny404GiphyKissing gets you pregnant.
Same except the nuns told us that French kissing in a bathing suit would get you pregnant. Also, they said you shouldn't go on a date to a restaurant that uses white tablecloths because that looks like sheets which would make your date think of bed and you'd end up having sex.
Ouch!
Girls and boys had to go to different rooms during sex-Ed. The girls were told that "abstinence is the best option because sex is painful." The boys weren't told that.
I understand that sex can be painful for some people, but pretending sex isn't a source of pleasure at all for women is flat out wrong and depressing.
"Say What?"
See, now how in the world is any of that considered education? Would you teach addition without using numbers? It's sex people. It's a part of the everyday cycle of life. Some of those responses are truly shocking. I would have laughed out loud even at a young age. It all sounds made up. Oh wait most of that was. Shall we continue?
"Dress" for the occasion...
My girlfriend's sex Ed program in middle school included a wedding dress that they splattered with red paint.
I'm assuming it symbolizes the blood of first sex, which, if is before marriage, taints the pureness of the ritual and thus ruins everything. TLDR sex bad don't screw before ring. Idiots.
For the Girls
We were shown a video where a lady said she could tell if a girl was a virgin just by looking into her eyes. The implication was that premarital sex causes your spirit to die so that you become just a shell with nothing to offer.
Edit to add: I'm sure you can guess that she didn't say the same applied for the boys, as if teenage girls are the only ones to blame for anyone having premarital sex.
At Once?
Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphyHaving sex with 1 person is like having sex with 100 people.
No Sharing!
The instructor gave all the boys in the class chewing gum and let them chew on it for a few minutes. Then she asked them if any of them wanted to share. Of course none did. Then she asked if they didn't want to share gum, why would they want to share sex partners?
This was in a co-ed class so all the girls in the class got to see too.
We Pray ALOT!!
golden girls blanche GIF by HULUGiphyI was taught in school that self pleasure was also a sin. So as a young girl discovering her body, every time I masturbated, I'd cry because I thought I was going to hell.
I don't know how many times I prayed to God asking for forgiveness.
No Hugs
My dad pointed to a teenage couple hugging when i was a kid and told me thats how you get pregnant.
Months later at the fair my aunt put my 5 yr old cousin on the back of my horse and told him to wrap his arms around my waist to hold on. My heart sank. Later that day I shamefully told my dad that my 5 yr old cousin got me pregnant.
In Dublin
So I'm Irish and Catholic.
Growing up in Dublin we had church sanctioned sex education, some of the highlights:
-All penises are the same size when erect (we were 14 and this was hilarious to us)
-Being gay is just a phase
-No method of birth control is reliable (including oral sex and body rubbing).
Let's Talk
Opposite story: I went to a Catholic high school. My Health teacher was a progressive. So she closed the door and said "Listen, ok, sure, masturbation is a sin or whatever, but it's actually fine. You gotta, you know, clean out the pipes once in a while. Now if your friends ask you to go to the movies and your answer is 'Sorry, gotta stay home and masturbate' probably step it back a bit."
Used Up
Bubble Gum GIF by QuavoGiphyThis woman once compared a teenage girl who's had premarital sex as chewed up bubble gum. She then switched the comparison to a pair of worn out shoes. Crap you not.
Moist Issues
I was convinced that saliva was involved in the baby-making process. Not that you'd kiss someone and then boom pregnant, but that someone's saliva over time would make their baby look like you. The more saliva, the stronger the resemblance.
Long story short I spit in my cousin's drinks for a solid 2 months because I wanted her baby (she was pregnant at the time) to look like me (who was 8)
ETA: this was about 25 years ago, and also I'm a woman! That's how absolutely terrible my sex education was.
Um... Next Question
The teacher said that you can only really love one sexual partner and that's why it's so important that your spouse be your first and only partner. One of my classmates raised her hand and said, "My mom died when I was a baby and my dad's been married to my stepmom for ten years. Does that mean he only loves one of them?"
The teacher just looked uncomfortable and moved on to how premarital sex causes depression.
Oh Utah
This is probably pretty tame, but Sophomore year our teacher told us using multiple condoms at a time increases its effectiveness.
I then asked my mom the same thing, and her whole job is to teach safe sex to youth.
Spoiler alert: do not layer condoms. It sounds good in practice, but you're actually weakening the condoms and wasting them.
Utah's sex ed policy was/is crap.
Wonder why...
lucy liu film GIFGiphyWent to public school and had real sex ed but had a history teacher who told us that sex before marriage is a sin, because every time you have sex you get pregnant.
And if a kid is born outside of wedlock they are going to hell and we will also go to hell for damning the baby's soul before it's even born. She said condoms and any other birth control is an insult to God and a way for atheists to try and outsmart him. She didn't work there after that year. Wonder why...
What Works
Condoms don't always work so it's better to not use them.
If you ejaculate on a girl (yes, "on") she will get pregnant. Regardless of if you had sex or not.
Boys get so horny sometimes they can't control themselves. So girls, it's up to you to remove temptation for the boys.
Birth control pills disrupt a girl's hormones so badly she will become barren.
Pieces of Me
That every time I (a girl) had sex I was giving away a part of my soul. So each sex partner whittled away bits of my soul. If I had sex before marriage my God-given husband would only get a tiny scrap instead of a full half and thus wouldn't be able to love me as much as he would if I'd waited? Honestly it's pretty confusing. This was taught in my Christian private school.
I can't with any of that. It's really shameful. We can't send kids out into the world misinformed. It will only lead to people learning in ways that are even more worrisome. And most parents don't seem comfortable enough to chat about it. Loosen up people. The future of generations is at stake. I'm not saying don't practice abstinence but let's explore all of the options as well. Sex. Say it. Do it. Safely.
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Even the person who seems to be the calmest has that moment when their patience has run thin, and all it takes is a little more prodding and antagonizing to set them off.
Curious to hear examples of when strangers online were surprised by what they witnessed, Redditor Specktakles88 asked:
"Have you ever seen a normally calm person completely lose their sh*t? What happened?"
A triggering moment unleashed wild behavior.
The Dude Who Had It Coming
"I was chilling at a friend’s house as a kid. His dad was the chillest, nicest guy. That day, my friend’s mom (also super nice) was across the street talking to the neighbor about something that I can no longer recall. Neighbor was one of those guys who never respected common etiquette: music blaring, parking his sh**ty boat in front of other people’s house, cars parked on the lawn. The neighbor started screaming at the mom and we all went out on the stoop to see what was happening. As soon as we got outside, the guy called my friend’s mom a c*nt. Well, my friend’s dad heard that and went full Hulk mode. He ran SCREAMING across the street and just f'king decked the guy and crouched over him shouting warnings and threats. Took a while for his wife to calm him down. I don’t think any of them had ever seen him react to something in that way, maybe even the dad himself."
– Corporation_tshirt
Hot Kitchen
"I worked as a line cook with a chef who I became really good friends with. Really chill dude, easy going, and actually super fun to cook with. He taught me most of what I know about cooking and I owe him a lot for my success. Never really saw him get mad until one day, we were getting slammed during busy night and one of the servers said something that really ticked him off, not sure if I ever heard what it was, but next thing I knew he had sent the deep fryer basket flying at Mach 1 across the kitchen, nearly missing the dish kid and shattering a light bulb. He stormed off and 5 minutes later after a smoke break, came back and casually continued cooking as if nothing had happened."
"He apologized about it the next day and we never talked about it again. The restaurant industry is a stressful place."
– Nexteri
Thing About Grandpa
"When I was in my late teens I was financially irresponsible and borrowed money from my grandparents to move out of my mom's house. We made a plan on how I would pay it back in installments and I only missed two payments, with each one I called my granddad and asked if it was okay. He was always cool about it. One day I got a call from him and he was LIVID. Screaming at me on the phone and I could hear my grandmother crying in the background. He was the angriest I’ve ever heard anyone in my life and I was terrified. He wanted to know why I hadn’t made the payment that month, but I was sure I had. It turns out I had accidentally set the automated payment to be drawn from the wrong account and it hadn’t done it. It was an honest mistake on my part, and I explained that to him. I transferred the money immediately and he instantly calmed down. I later found out he had become an alcoholic after he quit smoking, and he would talk to my grandmother like that regularly when no one was around."
– kamaikaja
Awakening The Beast
"This is not my story but my dads. Growing up his best friend Leif was a quiet, shy guy that was a bit socially awkward. In school he wasn't physically bullied but this one kid teased him constantly. This would have been late 50's, early 60's so kids were expected to just tough it out. My dad would usually confront the kid but one day a girl runs up to him and says that Leif and the kid are fighting."
"My dad runs over to save Leif but when he breaks through the circle he finds the bully flat on his back, Leif sitting on his chest, holding him by the ears and smashing his head into the pavement over and over. My dad tackles him, wrestles him to the ground and screams at him, asking what he's doing. The thing that stayed with me from that story was how he described it, 'it was like there was nothing in there, I felt like I could see the back of his skull through his eyes.'"
"Luckily they were kids so the damage was serious but limited, the bully escaped with stitches and a concussion and Leif had to talk to the school psychologist. My dad and Leif stayed best friends and when I met him as an adult he was still quiet but less shy and awkward."
– Kenail_Rintoon
Work-related stresses really brought out the fury in these people.
The Beginning
"I had a friend who was in his 60's, a functioning alcoholic but he was the most calm and composed guy I have ever known. He never used to raise his voice or swear. Everything was done with meticulous precision."
"He once explained to me that if you use vulgar language and shout all the time, then you will have nowhere to go when you really do get angry."
"I had worked with him for about 3 years, never heard him raise his voice or swear before. The week before he had been shafted on his pay and the manager promised to get it sorted by Friday. Friday rolled around and it had not been sorted. So when my friend walked up to the manager in the open office and declared loudly 'Where the f'k is my money? You promised this would be resolved.' The whole office went silent and the look of dread on the manager's face was haunting. The money was in his account by the end of the day."
"That was him losing his sh*t."
– LinktoApop
Parting Words
"I used to see this woman in my building every day. Very friendly. We always checked on each other’s lives. We had lunch a few times over the years. It was friendly to a certain degree. A couple years passed. She was much older than me. One day, riding the elevator, she told me that she was saying goodbye. I said I was sorry to see her go and asked why. She said she was retiring that day. I asked if her office was throwing a party or if she was celebrated. She turned to me and her face contorted into an image of rage. She clenched her teeth and said she didn’t tell anyone in her office, including her bosses. She only told the HR person last week. This was her last day and she was never returning to see or talk to anyone in her office again."
– darthsnakeeyes
The Gentle Giant
"I used to do seasonal work sorting tax returns. Like, 500 people in a warehouse size room sorting through returns, stacking them in boxes, etc. This one guy on my team, huge dude, a gentle giant, really nice. Suddenly one day he smashes the table he's working at, then flips a big box full of paperwork. It flew over my head and twenty feet away. He threw the table out of his way them stormed out. Turns out he was getting his paycheck garnished for something or other."
– TheBelhade
Rambunctious behavior really set these people off, but it also restored peace.
The Teacher Who Had Enough
"One of my teachers in high school was THE calmest dude. Never yelled, never told kids off, would just laugh and smile and wait for us all to calm down and then continue with his teaching. One day we must have been particularly rowdy and we weren’t calming down like we usually did. He couldn’t get a word in edge ways. I could see him getting increasingly frustrated and eventually he just bellowed SHUUUUTTT UPPPPP And the entire class was shocked into silence. He never had to do it again lmao"
– shyaussiegirl26
Too Angry To Hold A Knife
"It takes a lot to make my mom yell. On the rare occasion she did yell, it still felt like she had self control. Like she yelled on purpose, because there was a reason to yell (like she needed to be that loud for us to hear us, or one of the kids needed to learn to never run into traffic again.)"
"But one morning when we were teenagers, my brother was being really, really difficult."
"And my very sweet, soft-spoken mother yelled 'GOD DAMN IT SHAWN' and threw a butter knife down so hard it stuck, 1/4 inch deep, in oak hardwood floor. Against the grain. I can still hear the noise it made."
"We were all very, very well behaved for the rest of the day."
"I did eventually ask my mom why she did that. Her explanation was that she felt she was too angry to hold a knife, even a butter knife, and was trying to get it out of her hand before she did something stupid."
– _Green_Kyanite_
Granny's Mean Streak
"Man my grandma has a similar thing. This boy was a couple years older than she was and he was constantly picking on her. He's riding his bike home from school one day and he rides past her and he's shouting at her and she knocks him right off his bike and beat the sh*t out of him. My sweet lil granny. The neighbor that saw it said he was proud as sh*t that she beat the snot out of this shitty kid lol. I think it was the start of my grandma's bad b*tch streak because not much later, she started street racing. She was allegedly a sweet little girl, but man I think she must have had a mean streak in her."
– Unsd
"Jerry Springer Christmas"
"My mom. We had what we now refer to as the 'Jerry Springer Christmas' when I was 7 or so. One aunt hated her sister in law and started screaming at her, then shoving started, husband's got involved, then it just continued to devolve from there. My mom went straight into mediator mode and tried to calm everyone down but it wasn't working. She decided to come check on us kids and found my cousin and me holding each other and sobbing because we were scared. The next thing I hear is her scary mom voice screaming over everyone 'listen here you motherf'kers. My kid is in there crying on Christmas because her family can't keep their sh*t together for one the one day a year we all see each other. You're gonna march your a**es into that room single file and apologize to each kid individually, then you're going to shut the hell up until I get them out of here. We're going to go find look at lights and this family better be the picture of goddam Christmas joy by the time we get back.' My mom never really cussed in front of me and only ever used gd when things were really bad. That side of the family didn't celebrate Christmas for a few years after that."
"Edit: thank you for the awards and kind words! Ma is tickled pink at all of the comments about how wonderful she is. I tell her every day how lucky I am to have her."
– thatspookyb*tch
Rage is something that exists in all of us.
Some people are good at letting small things run off their back, while others have no patience for the smallest of grievances.
The lesson to be learned here is, never underestimate the calmest people. They might be the ones to really look out for. You don't want to be the reason for them to break their patience streak and unleash all of their built-up fury on you.
Be kind to others, and just don't be a prick.
Whether that applies or doesn't apply in our own lives, we listen to the songs conveying these experiences to take us back so we may relive these affirmative moments from the past.
Curious to hear what's on the moody playlist of strangers online, Redditor udontknowmegurl asked:
"What is the saddest song you've ever heard?"
These iconic artists really touched the hearts of many people through their music.
Dolly's Love Anthem
"I will Always Love You by Dolly Parton, you can really tell she f'king lived that song."
– scruntyboon
When Mom Went To Heaven
"The night my mama died, my dad sang Elvis' Can't Help Falling in Love to her in the back seat of the car on the way to the ER. She died of fully metastitized pancreatic cancer 18 days after diagnosis."
– AmazonEllie
It Gets Deeper With Age
“'Landslide' by Fleetwood Mac I find that the older I get, the more meaning this song has."
– Rare_Matter
Leave it to Disney to have us reaching for the tissue box.
Touching Score
"That song from UP makes me cry every time and it doesn’t even have lyrics."
– TheDaughterOfFlynn
When She Loved Me
"That one Jesse sings in Toy Story 2"
– TheWholeEffinJoe
And let's not forget these emotional tunes that resonated with many Redditors.
Irish Folk Song
"‘Danny boy’ at a friends funeral 10 years ago. He, his sister and his gf all passed away in a house fire all in their early 20s. It was an Irish wake and the mix of grief and whiskey joy was something else."
– Flamingoez88
When Love Moves On
"Into Dust by Mazzy Star gets me."
– d*ckem52
When You Want To "Disappear"
"How to disappear completely by Radiohead. Haunting instrumental, depression dripping through everyline of lyrics 'im not here, this isnt happening.'"
– Bradyceneme
Ray Of Light In The Darkness
"You Are My Sunshine"
"Everything but the chorus is heartbreaking. Few people know anything but the chorus though."
– lolly_lolly_lolly
From A Powerful Album
"Sylvia - The Antlers"
"Actually that whole album, Hospice, breaks me but this song in particular just leaves me in a mess every time."
– recoverelapse
When Love Fades
"The Night We Met by Lord Huron."
"No matter where I am, if I’m happy, who I’m with, etc. I’ll bawl my eyes out if that song plays. It’s so painful and true because one day they’re there and they’re your everything and then they start slipping until they’re gone and you wished you could go back to before you met them so you wouldn’t have to go through the pain of losing them. Just the lyrics 'I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you' hit this. People falling out of love in relationships, growing apart with friends, family members passing, etc. is what this hits for me and it hits hard."
– beepbeepboopbop2
One of the saddest songs I've heard is not connected to a personal experience, but the story being told is heartbreaking.
It's called "The Queen and the Soldier" by Suzanne Vega. The song is basically about a lonely, repressed virgin queen who keeps her heart closely guarded.
When a soldier enters her domain and challenges her internalized emotions, it's too much for her and has the soldier executed.
The song has continued haunting me ever since I first heard it.
Maybe rethink alternative words for "awesome"...
"I called a taco 'the Shizznit' a few days ago."
"I instantly felt 90 years old."- fattydad075
Not as "radical" as it once was...
"Rad."- AvatarofBro
Colors Flashing GIFLanguage is eternal!
"None of MY slang is outdated, it's today's youth that are wrong!"- hotasphalt
How long have you got?
"I say things are the bees knees on the regular."
"Is 'on the regular' dated?"
"I also call the ocean 'the drink' for whatever reason."
"Picked that up at some point."- Paradigm6790
"This sub is making me extremely paranoid about my words now bc I say pretty much all of these words still."- jjjjjjj30
season 10 friends GIFGiphyCharming once, vulgar now...
"HAULIN’ A**."- f*ck_korean_air
Nah, come closer.
"Far out."- PaulClifford
A bit off
"Right on."- bombaderogato
Does anyone still even eat popsicles?
"When I'm ready to leave I say 'Let's blow this Popsicle stand."
"To be honest I'm not even sure what a posicle stand is."- B-Sdetector69
Popsicle Freezer Pop GIFGiphyIt's hard not to feel self conscious around the younger generations who might laugh at your dated vocabulary.
But one should just remember, in 10 years or so, they'll likely find themselves in the exact same position.
And won't feel as "groovy" as they once did.
And not on your foot, one imagines...
"Nothing but a tube sock."- Sanguiniutron
Reverse Psychology
"Dress normally, because if the theme is to dress inappropriately, and you dress appropriately, technically you're the one being inappropriate for the occasion."- GoAwayImHereForMemes
"I've actually been in a completely opposite situation."
"Was invited to a art exhibition, came in well dressed. It was basically porn but the person I went with forgot to mention that."
"I felt very malplace standing around people wearing next to nothing."
"So I would probably do that again because what's more inappropriate than being appropriate at an inappropriate event?"- cccantyousee
"I mean, if dressing inappropriately is the appropriate attire, then dressing appropriately would be inappropriate for the party, thus, making it appropriate."
"Now that I think about it, it's an unsolvable paradox."
"You could never appropriately dress inappropriately."- MUNKIESS
Getting Ready Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphyIt's all in the details
"A suit."
"With the pants cuffs rolled up, wearing tevas with gym socks."- BitPoet
And they say you can only wear it once...
"Bridal gown."- fromhelley
Depends on your surroundings...
"Imma wear a parka."
"In South Texas."
"In August."- Ahshalon_Tenisk
Parka GIF by moodmanGiphyThe question is, what aren't you wearing...
"Nothing I'd just show up in lingerie."- cloboehobo
Wrong on so many levels...
"A two sizes to small wrestling singlet, and crocs."- thirdtimer_2020
I Like Swimsuit GIF by MOODMANGiphyThere's little more fun than facing the challenge of dressing to impress.
Or, in this instance, un-dressing to impress.
And if you are greeted by a round of shocked expressions, you know your choice of outfit was a success.