Parents Describe The Worst Thing They Ever Confiscated From Their Kid
Phil Goodwin/Unsplash

Parents often seem like super heroes juggling all that life gives them.

Some parents work while raising little ones, some are raising kids as a single parent, some parents are full time parents.

Regardless of the situation, parents can watch their kids like hawks and still they manage to get into things that parents never thought they would.

We went to AskReddit to hear from parents on what the worst thing their kids got into that they had to confiscate.

Redditor Slik2665 asked:

"Parents of Reddit: What is the worst thing you have seen/confiscated from your child?"

Some of the things in this list were funny, but others were down right dangerous.

A small tin.

"My two year old ran up to me with a small tin she found on the playground. I opened it up and found some meth."

- killerqueen5

"Woah, I’m so glad she found that and brought that to you, I could only imagine if a kid found that and didn’t bring it to their parents like your daughter did."

- montananhooman

All she wanted was a sister.

"I had to take an axe off my 6 year-old daughter because she was fed up with having two brothers and wanted to get rid of one so she could have a sister."

"She's now 32 and hates me reminding her about it."

- bertiebastard

"The next time I see a 6 year old I'm sprinting."

- Creeper_LORD44

"She was like something out of a horror movie dragging a huge axe behind her."

- bertiebastard

The tantrum even scared the police.

"So, my oldest son, until we finally found a doctor and the right medication, was very difficult. You've seen that condom commercial with the kids who wants candy and the Dad in the shop?"

"Think that, but over, well, anything. Doesn't want to go to bed? Screaming fit. Doesn't like what's on TV, screaming fit. He's cold? Screaming fit. You try to put extra clothes on him because he's cold? Screaming fit. He doesn't want a bath? Screaming fit. He doesn't want to get out of the bath? Screaming fit."

"He was also violent. He'd scratch, hit, bite, throw things, etc. Even when he wasn't upset, sometimes he'd do it just because he thought it was funny to see someone in pain. I have a twin set of scars on my rear from him copying a cartoon and stabbing me with a barbecue fork."

"It should be noted, we never gave into these tantrums. They'd end when he got tired or when he got distracted or when his own tantrum gave him a headache, so it's not like he was getting rewarded and incentivized for them."

"So, because of these, we regularly got visits from Child Protective Services. Hearing a child scream like that several times per day the neighbors were understandably concerned."

"On one of these visits after yet again confirming that there were no marks on him and seeing video we took off how the process went (he demands something unreasonable, we say no, he erupts) we're standing in the front lawn with the CPS rep and two Sheriff's when he runs out of the house at the Sheriffs with a chefs knife in his hand raised over his head. He runs between me and his mom and I snatched the knife right out of his hand with him still running by. His mom then grabs him and he starts struggling, clawing and biting."

"The Sheriff's were shaken and dumbfounded by how quickly and calmly we did it. They also came into the house to see how he'd stacked furniture to get to the knife block on top of the fridge. And seeing as how they'd been with us the entire time and gone in the kitchen themselves before going outside, they knew he'd done it himself."

"After that they never bothered coming out again."

- Emperor_Cartagia

"I really can't comprehend how good of a parent you are having a child like that will make me go insane."

- wally_north

"I'm am far from perfect, but I do my best."

- Emperor_Cartagia

A zip lock bag.

"Not me, but brother-in-law found my nephew with a zip lock full of warm urine. The 6 year old claimed he was using it as a hand warmer. I just find stuff my klepto 5yr old steals from daycare."

- TCtheThunderRooster

"My mom found 5 of my brothers in a circle outside, they don't usually get along so she knew something was up. They had a bag of pee, they all contributed, and were trying to light fires with it (like using a magnifying glass with sunlight). Apparently they saw it on some kind of survivor man show."

- ambereatsbugs

"I feel like you could have tested this with regular water instead."

- journalissue

She liked the taste.

"My daughter decided that she likes the taste of spiders for a while, so we had to keep her away from spiders other wise she would eat them, those were fun times."

- DMWv1

"I'm crying from laughing. I'm so sorry. I'm just imaging you pleading with the spiders to leave for their own good. Meanwhile your daughter is running around eating them."

- wheres_mayramaines

Kids are gross.

"When my brother was a baby he and our mom were playing outside when she got a call. She left to answer the phone and when she returned my bro had taken his diaper off and was playing in it. Horrified, my mom went to get him and he grabbed a handful of his shit, held it up to her and proclaimed 'muuuud!'"

"Later on when he was 6 or 7 he found a rubber bracelet in the road. He put it on and was so proud of his new bracelet. He wore that thing for half a day until he had to use the bathroom so he went inside. Remembering his new found piece of jewelry he went to show my mom who immediately recognized what it was. Someone driving down our street had thrown a used condom onto the road that my brother found after it had been run over a few times."

- WhenThePiecesFit

"This reminds me of when I found a set of acrylic fingernails scattered across a playground, I was horrified because at the time I thought someone's fingernails had actually fallen off their hands."

- trebaol

It's not what you thought it was for.

"Once my dad find a old rusty box cutter in my drawers, he start shouting with me because he thinks that I was using to self harm, but I was using for open candy packing."

- vaa_10

"Think your kid is having suicidal thoughts and/or self-mutilating actions? Yeah, yelling at them will help."

- MattKitten11

She wanted to escape.

"My car keys, a USB charger, and some change in my 2 year old's little backpack (she was planning an escape I guess). I couldn’t drive my car for a week and had been just about to tow it to the dealer to have a key made. Little sh*t."

- ExactPea9707

"She had enough of your sh*t and was leaving."

- Total_Ansh

Adult juice.

"It wasn’t in my kids possession yet, but one of the neighbor kids brought over “juice” for everyone. They were segrims whine coolers. The 6 year old had already had one. Turns out their mom bought them for them thinking they were juice and she was so embarrassed. They’re from another country and the box it came in really makes it look like juice."

- Dre6485

"A family we knew made homemade root beer and accidentally brewed it too long, their baby got a little tipsy."

- SgtVinBOI

Weird toothpaste

"When my sister was young, I told her to go brush her teeth before we left to go home because we were at our grandmother's and I knew it would be too late for her and she wouldn't do it once we actually made it there haha..."

"Well anyway, she comes out with the toothbrush in her mouth and said this toothpaste grandma has does not taste good at all and I walked over to see what it was and it was vagisil cream not toothpaste lmao"

- Jmee5

A Cigar?

"Not my kid but when I was a kid."

"Family was at the house. My grandmother suddenly asks why my sister who was running around the backyard has a cigar."

"It was dog sh*t. In her mouth."

- mills1127

Bury The Skull

"When I was maybe 6 or seven I was at the playground with my friend and both parents. While messing around me and my friend found a heroine pipe in the shape of a skull that had been used and buried in the wood chips and we thought it was some sort of pen? I’m not sure why."

"Then we brought it to show to my parents and they didn’t explain what it was but just told us to go bury it again and after that we left."

- lagunamk22

The one Fake knife

"I’m was the child in this situation, (I’m about to turn 31 at the end of the month,) but last time I went to go visit my parents, I found this plastic switchblade I had from some Halloween costume as a kid in a cup with pens and markers and other random stuff on a junk storage shelf in a closet."

"I laughed and asked my mom why she still had it, and she told me she didn’t know it was fake and found it in my room as a kid and was very concerned that I had a dangerous, illegal, weapon.”

"Switchblades were/are illegal in that state I grew up in."

"I was a rebellious emo kid so I could see why she’d be concerned, but it was legit probably from a Spirit Halloween store or like Walmart. It's not even remotely convincing as real lol"

"It’s also funny because I had probably at least 3 real pocket knives."

- martashirt

Tiny Hitchcock

"We once woke up around 5 in the morning to our then daughter of two years, standing next to our bed, claiming: 'Mommy, look, I found the glittery knife!' "

"We immediately knew what knife she was talking about: a 25cm, glittery grip, pointy double tip, multi purpose kitchen knife she had somehow rummaged out of a drawer."

"But even if we failed to recognize it from the description, we'd have known it from the way she was holding it over her head, in perfect Hitchcockian pose, pointing at my wife... I've never seen my wife fully awake THIS FAST. "

- davil-the-devil

A Fancy Pen

"My step-son… 9yo… he is so sweet and helpful. He brought me a 'pen' he found in the trash can in the bathroom. He thought it was thrown away by mistake."

"Such a genuine smile and happy to be helping me recover what was obviously a very fancy pen! Would have been awful if it was gone for good!"

"I quickly grabbed it from him and told him 'Don’t touch anything. Go wash your hands really really good. WITH SOAP!' ”

"Had to explain to him that the 'pen' was a part of a special kind of 'bandaid' that ladies sometimes have to put inside their bodies. He is very curious and will not take 'I’ll tell you when you’re older' as an answer."

"Really interesting conversation with his mother later…"

"He brought me a used tampon applicator. God I love that kid."

- sinskins

Spider friends

"When my sister was about 3-4 years old, she would run to her room to play with her “friends”. My mum had figured she had an imaginary friend, until the day she walked into the room to play with her and found she was having a tea party with a dozen or so Redback spiders."

- Elsy8

Faces are flammable

"My son is very tall for his age and he could reach the counter tops by the time he was 2 (not see anything on them, but could put a grubby little hand up on top)."

"Well my husband and I , not used to having to shove stuff on the countertops back further yet, left a blow torch we used to make creme brulee on the edge of the counter."

"I turn around to find my son as I heard him come into the kitchen and when I turned around again I had to watch in slow motion as he looked into the head of the torch (like you would a kaleidoscope) and squeezed the trigger."

"Thankfully my reflexes kicked in and I was able to swat it away from his face and on the ground, probably milliseconds from lighting his whole damn face on fire....I had to use my inhaler after that one, almost had a panic attack."

- MrsShort

Thank goodness these parents were able to get their hands on some of the more dangerous materials their kids got into.

Luckily, no one in these stories got hurt! So it's okay if you laughed a little.

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