You try to do your best. Being a parent is already so hard. But sometimes, it just blows up in your face.
u/-Don-Draper- asked:
Parents of Reddit, what lessons have to tried to teach your kids that completely backfired?
Here were some of the answers.
A Logical Fallacy
Not a parent, but my in-laws love telling this story about my fiance.
He was resistant to potty training, and they eventually got him to start using the potty by telling him that he had to be out of pull-ups before a family trip to Disney World, because "Mickey Mouse only sees big boys and girls." And also who wants to log a diaper bag around Disney?
Anyway, it went great, they had a great trip... and the day after they got back, he took a sh*t in the living room. When asked, he said "I don't gotta use the potty cause I already saw Mickey Mouse." They very firmly told him that if he was old enough to use logic, he was far too old for diapers, and that was the end of that.
Great And Terrible Power
Saw a clip on local news about a toddler saving her mom's life by calling 911 when she collapsed. Figured it was a good idea to teach my toddler 911. Had two cops at my door 5 minutes later.
Payment In Kind
When my daughter was young I was trying to teach her the value of money and decided to start giving her an allowance. She had a few tasks to do around the house and afterwards on the weekends before we would go out, I'd give her 5$. I explained that because she helped out and did her chores, she had earned money to spend on whatever she wanted. She happily accepted and stashed her money in her room, I thought nothing of it. Later that evening before I tucked her in to bed after reading to her, she goes to her money jar, pulls out 2$ and hands it to me, and explains that it's for being a good daddy.
Formalities
My aunt and uncle were trying to teach my cousin manners, and wanted him to address people as Mr and Mrs. They used each other as examples, and consequently were known as Mr. Iannuccilli for ~ 2 months. One of the funniest moments of my life was hearing my uncle describe how in the middle of the night instead of 'dad' he started hearing 'Mr Iannuccilli!' Cracks me up every time.
Messy Consequences
My dad tried to implement the whole you MUST eat ALL the food on your plate in our house during meals. My mom was never a fan of that lesson, but my dad was stubborn so she just let it go. Well, one day my sibling had 2-3 bites of food left on their plate and was very clear that they were absolutely full and couldn't eat another bite. Dad wasn't having it and insisted they could not leave the table until all the food on their plate was gone. My sibling realized they weren't going to convince our dad that they were too full and finished the last few bites and then proceeded to upchuck on the table. He stopped enforcing the rule after that.
Monkey Biz
When my older son was about three or four years old, we realized he was starting to act very spoiled and materialistic. We always tried to make him see how lucky he already had it, but he constantly begged us for every toy, candy, and treat he saw anywhere and everywhere.
Around that time, I came across a great photo spread that involved the photographer traveling around the world and snapping photos of different children with their most prized possessions. Of course, the kids in the US, Canada, and Europe were mostly photographed in rooms filled with stuff. But there were also photos of children from impoverished nations, usually showing the child with only one old, dirty stuffed animal.
I thought I was going to accomplish this brilliant parenting move by sitting him down and going through the photos with him. I'd explain how the kids with rooms like his were beyond lucky and he should feel more than satisfied with all of the great stuff that he had. Then I would show him the other photos and he would finally understand that there are so many other children in the world with far less than he had.
We looked through the photos and talked about each one. We finally got to one with a little boy standing on his cot with his one possession, a well-loved, dingy-looking stuffed monkey. My son looked at if for a long time. I could see his wheels spinning. "Success!" I thought. After a long bit of silence, he finally looked up at me, gave me a sweet smile and said, "I want that monkey."
Honesty
In order not to teach him how to "lie better," I never challenged his lying and we just told him what needed to be fixed. I never told him how I knew he was lying, I just avoided confronting him and got to the point of what needed fixed, despite attempts to deny it.
For example, if someone ate all the brownies, and his mouth and fingers were stained with chocolate, I never told him, "I can tell you are lying because of the evidence," I just said he now had to make a new batch or do chores because the old batch was gone. I was figuring, "hey, he'll figure out that eating the brownies and lying about it still had consequences."
Thus, he never really got very good at lying. But he keeps trying, which is the part I didn't expect. He's 28 now, and just so terrible at it because he doesn't understand how people can so easily figure it out. This has socially crippled him in ways I did not understand when he was young.
I think learning how to lie is essential to social development, and I thought I was being all high and moral. Oops.
Danger, Stranger
When I was about 2 years old my family was at a game in Angel's stadium. My mother went to the restroom and left me and my siblings with my dad. While he was busy watching I wandered off. When they eventually found me I was halfway around the stadium. A crowd had gathered to watch as a police officer held me out at arms length while I screamed "call the police, this man is not my daddy" over and over again. My parents had taught me stranger danger, but forgot to teach me what police look like.
It All Worked Out
Taught my now 16 year old to always compliment people who insulted you. We were in a Burlington Coat Factory in Michigan when my mother was shopping for a bathing suit to take to Florida. There were few to choose from, so she was complaining. My kid was 4.
A woman trying on pants and said something rude to my mom who was asking my opinion and my daughter caught on that my mother was agitated. She squeezed out behind me and told the woman,
"Your teeth are such a pretty yellow!"
Animal Crust
I told him no food downstairs. He had to eat at the table if he wanted to and not his play room. When the second kid came I would bring down his bottle and snacks so he could eat solid foods that helped his teething while we played. My older kid flipped out because there is no food downstairs that was like a basic rule of life to him. When I said it's ok because his brother is a baby and I'm here he took advantage of some shared snacks the kids had later. He would try to give his brother snacks that he liked so he could eat them downstairs too because his brother was.
So I see him sitting in his play tent eating animal crackers and giving his brother one as they hide from me because he knows it's technically wrong. But he eventually saw the reason why I made the rule because although the younger kid would eat 1-2 he would then mash the third into a paste and rub it over the toys.
City On Fire
My friend's 10 year-old daughter was going over to a friend's house in the same apartment complex, but a few buildings away.
Mom: "Ok, what do we do if someone tries to grab you?"
Daughter: "Kick him in the balls and yell 'FIRE'!"
Mom: "Ha, right, but that's not a good word, it's 'testicles'."
Daughter: "Ok, kick him in the balls and yell 'TESTICLES'!"
Mom: "You know...that might work too."
Good Idea, Bad Execution
Trying to keep.my 4 year old in bed. He gets up 4 or more times saying he has to go to the bathroom. Most of the time he doesn't have to go and we send him back to bed. 5 minutes later, he does it again. He knows that he can get out of bed this way. My wife decided to make tickets. He could use the tickets if he got out of bed. Once the tickets were done, so was he. If he could stay in bed the rest of the night he got rewarded with stickers. The first night we tried it, he sh*t himself.
A Fair Question
Not a very big backfire, but here's a true story:
My grandmother died a few years ago. My brother decided to use this as a teaching moment for his two daughters, and he did his best to explain what was going on. He told them that he was flying out to Florida to attend the wake.
"What's a wake?" His daughter asked.
"It's a thing that happens before the funeral, where we go to see Nana's body."
His daughter's eyes widened with fear. He had a moment of panic, like maybe he'd made a mistake. Then she asked, "... What do they do with her head?"
Teamwork Makes The Dream Work
Due to a last minute adoption (long story) my wife and I went from one kid to two kids very quickly. They are close in age (18 months apart) so we tried reading books about how to avoid sibling rivalry and encourage a positive sibling relationship as they got older. One of the books said to teach the kids that they are a team. That's what we did.
It resulted in my daughter getting pissed at me any time I would discipline her brother because he was her baby. I would try to explain that discipline is part of learning but she wasn't having any of that. She agreed that she should be disciplined for bad behavior but not her baby brother. You have to stand up for your teammate afterall. That's really the only times she would ever throw a full blown screaming tantrum, so then I would have to deal with my son crying because he is being disciplined and my daughter crying because her brother is being disciplined. As they got a little older any time I would try to break up an argument or settle a dispute, both of them would get mad at me. They needed to work it out together. Teammates stand up for each other and work things out together (unless you are Odell Beckham Jr.) so parental involvement wasn't needed in their view and only worked to make them both angry at me.
Both of them are well behaved teenagers now and despite being very different from each other, they are still very close and value each others opinion. My son has been able to convince his sister to audition for a solo in her orchestra concert and for the school musical and she is the first one to comfort him after his team loses a tough loss and helped him with his successful class VP campaign since he couldn't make a poster that didn't look like it was made by a deranged monkey. I wouldn't discount the method completely because I am happy with their relationship but when you have two toddlers screaming bloody murder because you put one in time out, you question what the hell you are doing wrong.
Everybody Loves Louie
When my oldest kid was 3 or 4, a few months after I separated from his mom, I found a home with a couple of these DJs who needed a roommate to split the bills. Mike was terminally ill, Louie was a pothead. I was a young divorced dad. Pretty suave home amirite?
One day after cleaning the kitchen I stepped out to pick up my kid, came home and the kitchen's a f*cking wreck. Louie got high and decided to make himself a smoothie. He left milk, ice, bits of juice and just gross crud, everywhere.
I told Louie he needed to clean it up, he told me he'd get to it in a little bit, I told him I needed to make my kid dinner now and needed to work in the kitchen, he told me so clean it up yourself, one thing led to another and pretty soon we're in each other's faces, really close, almost bumping chests, fingers pointing at each other, yelling really loud, lots of cuss words, before we both storm off.
I go up to my room, and kiddos up there with a quivering lip and eyes welled up. He bravely tells me "Louie is our friend and you yelled at him very mean."
Dammit.
I go back to the living room. "Louie, could you come down here please?"
"WHAT??!" .. he stomps into the living room
".. sigh .. I was very frustrated because I worked hard to clean the kitchen, then I saw it messy again, but I did not ask what you were doing or how your day was before getting mad about the kitchen. I should not have yelled at you or said bad words. You're my friend and I will try to use nicer words from now on."
Louie looks at me and says, ".. the F*CK??!"
Then he turns and sees kiddo watching both of us. "Oh god dammit! Fine .."
And he cleaned the kitchen.
My kid asked us to hug each other afterward.
Louie and I are still friends. He's got his own baby now. Karma's a b*tch, Louie!!
Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are
Not a parent, but my I remember when I was 17, my parents thought I was lying about where I was when I was going out. Like I wanted to extend my curfew or something. Backstory, I am from a REALLY small town, with really not a whole lot for teenagers to do. So my friends and I liked to hang out at the waffle house by this bar. Every Friday/Saturday night, it never failed, like 3 or 4 drunk people would get arrested and my friends and I liked to watch. It was 10/10 entertainment.
So one night, sh*t was going DOWN one night at this particular Waffle House. So I called my parents and asked them if I could extend my curfew. I told them why and they didn't believe me, so they called the Waffle House where I was and asked for me. When the waitress (who knew me well, because I was there A LOT) handed me the phone, my mom was like, "...Oh, you really are at the Waffle House." I think that was the first time my mom realized that I was a loser. Needless to say, I got my curfew extension.
People Confess Dreaming Of Doing Something All Their Life Then Hating It Once They Did It
Reddit user buzzkill007 asked: 'Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?'
They say "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
You know, the notion that we shouldn't fear things we haven't tried and that getting out of our comfort zone could lead to a wealth of wonderful discoveries.
Most times, fear isn't preventing us from trying the things we've been wanting to try–whether it's a new career or a hobby. We just haven't gotten there yet.
But take note, it's not always what it seems once we get there.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor buzzkill007 asked:
"Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?"
The stress level in medical professions is not for everyone.
Helping Saving Lives
"Being an EMT"
"I had planned on it being my lifelong career since middle school. I loved the medical field and wanted to save lives but knew I wouldn’t have the stamina to get through medical school."
"I got into training as soon as I graduated high school and I was top of my class in the educational sense, but as soon as I started doing ride-alongs everything just kind of fell apart on me."
"I didn’t fit in well with the firefighters, which sounds stupid but I think I really needed that brotherhood if I was going to survive in that field. The real problem, however, was my empathy. I knew quickly that I would not be able to see people on their worst days everyday. I could deal with broken bones and blood, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the screams."
"I work for a museum now lol."
– Livingroxets
The Young Widower
"I met quite a few paramedics whilst doing work in the vaccination centres last year. One of them had recently quit, and I asked why. She told me she had been on a call out with a young couple and a baby. The mum had a headache, and the baby was crying in bed so the dad went to soothe the baby whilst the mum laid down on the sofa. When the dad came back to the mum, she had passed away. I wasn't told what she died of but the girl telling the story was getting upset over it. She hated the idea of this child no longer having a mother, and the dad having lost his partner with absolutely no warning, and so young. So it wasn't even a gruesome one, just an upsetting one that made her give it up."
– Isgortio
The Guilt Complex
"My brother was an EMT because he wanted to help people. Started to blame himself for the people he couldn’t save, we almost lost him. Thank God he had some pretty stellar friends who went looking for him at 2am. EMTs are a different breed man, I don’t know how they do it."
– Lonely-Ninja
The Thing About Empathy
"The empathy thing is very interesting. My medical friends and family would always tell me I'd be great in the medical field because I'm so caring. That is precisely why I would be awful in the medical field. I hate seeing people suffering."
– Tim3-Rainbow
At first, these seemed desirable until they learned it was anything but.
Weightlessness
"I couldn't wait to 'pull g's' in an airplane. Then I did. It sucked."
– papafrog
"I cannot stress enough how fast pulling Gs gets old. The first couple turns are fun but then it’s like, 'I don’t feel good.' Fun times getting picked up from training sites by helicopter pilots on flight training and you’re just looking out the side of the Blackhawk at nothing but ground and you’re like are helicopters supposed to turn like this?"
– anon
Career As An Animator
"All my life I wanted to make cartoons."
"I fought with tooth and nail to reach the top."
"Then I interned for an old studio in Burbank specializing in cartoons about a certain yellow family."
"Then, after college, I became a mechanic and never looked back."
– DreyfusBlue
Formerly Aspiring Craftsman
"Blacksmithing. I watched a ton of blacksmithing content on youtube, got SUPER intrigued and wanted to build my own setup in the backyard. My Father talked me into trying a class before jumping in headfirst, and I am glad I did. My Father and I were the only two in the class that day so we got all the attention from the instructor which was awesome, he really helped us both perfect our techniques and corrected any mistakes quickly so we didn't form any bad habits, it was the best instructor I have ever had for anything, guy was an amazing teacher. He even offered to let us stay for a couple more hours to make another piece, which we took him up on. After all that, an amazing class, 3 metal pieces that I worked on and created by myself by hand, I walked away... dissatisfied. I think metal as a medium just felt very hard to work with, everything is super hot and dangerous, and I just didn't see myself wanting to ever do it again. I really recommend taking a class to try something out rather than spending time and money to build your own setup for something you may hate. I spent 75$ to save thousands."
– Roadronner
It Takes A Different Breed To Lead
"Being the boss of people. Boss is a title, but being an effective leader of people is an emotionally draining, often thankless roller coaster."
– DingbatDarrel
People who tried their hand at becoming lawyers found it to be extremely unpleasant.
Fighting For The Environment
"'I want to be an environmental lawyer when I grow up! I'm going to help save the world!' F'king kill me dude, I don't even have the energy to save myself anymore."
–Superseriouslyguys
"Interned at an environmental nonprofit over the summer while I was in law school."
"It was the worst parts of legal work and the worst parts of nonprofit work all mashed together."
"Edit: Ok this is getting a lot more eyeballs than I expected so I feel the need to clarify that it actually was not as bad as other non-legal nonprofits I'd later work at in terms of toxicity but it was intensely difficult work with very long hours and a lot of pressure - all of which made me realize I prob wasn't cut out for law much less environmental law."
– krylonultraflat
My Name Is Not Sharon
"I remember a girl in law school who had a similar experience, like they just had her getting coffee and cleaning out the office fridge all summer. Then at the end of the internship one of the directors of the program was like 'oh Sharon, you were our best intern this summer!' Susan. Her name was Susan."
– Superseriouslyguys
The Alternative
"Fellow lawyer here."
"Dip out and get yourself a cushy government job, easy 9-5 work hours, never take work home, plus you get a pension after it's all said and done."
"And then start living life outside of work. Focus on yourself."
– Pitiful-Reaction9534
Life is about taking chances.
You never know what you're capable of until you try different experiences.
And even if you don't succeed or found that whatever it is you tried wasn't for you, it's all a learning experience about how you deal in stressful or unfamiliar situations and overcome them.
The key is in finding your strengths, which you'll never find unless you put yourself out there and do the work. If it's not for you, something else will present itself.
At least that's what I'd like to think.
Everyone has a memory from their school days that always makes them laugh when it crosses their minds.
Be it someone passing gas at a very inopportune moment, an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction during a school play or sporting event, or, perhaps most of all, a spectacular prank.
Of course, while every single member of the student body likely finds these incidents and occurrences hilarious, the faculty and staff often find little to nothing funny about them.
Mainly because they often have to deal with the consequences and pandemonium caused by these dubiously hilarious events.
"What funny thing happened at school that caused utter chaos for the faculty?
Holy Sh*t
"2000"
"Teachers trying to stop kids smoking in the bathroom so they locked the bathroom doors."
"Kid took a sh*t on the carpet in front of the bathroom door, like right in the main hallway."
"Chaos ensued."
"Today, that kid is a pastor."
"Lol."- Jimmycapped
Cheaters Almost Always Get Caught
"It wasn't funny, but when I was in high school, there were two teachers in the school that were married."
"I was sitting in the husbands classroom waiting for the class to start when another kid ran in and said 'Hey Mr B, your wife is making out with Mr H in his classroom'."
"Turns out they'd locked the door, but about a dozen kids were looking through the skinny door window watching them."
"The guy didn't even say anything."
"He just looked crushed."
"He just walked out of the class and never came back...I mean we never saw him again."
"Turned out his wife and the other teacher had been having an affair and he'd might have suspected, but having it confirmed by one of his students in front of the whole class was too much."
"The school didn't discipline the two cheaters, but the students sure as hell did."
"Both of them had to listen to 'cheating' puns and jokes every day."
"'Hey Ms S, I'm going to copy off Joe's test, cheating is cool with you right?'" kind of stuff."
"Neither came back the next school year."- McFeely_Smackup
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyWhere He Went, Music Followed...
"Hired a mariachi band to follow around our principal for our senior class prank."
"It was hysterical."- JulieFromJerz
Complicated Role Model...
"In middle school, a staff (not a teacher, he watched lunch and was a basketball coach for a high school) got arrested for selling weed to the kids."
"He won an award for 'best staff of the year' that year which had an entire yearbook page dedicated to him, but he was arrested after the yearbooks were printed."
"They had to go into each yearbook and cover that page with purple duct tape (to match the color scheme)."
"Prior to him being arrested, I was getting bullied horribly."
"None of the teachers or other staff could get the kids to stop, but once the staff who was arrested said 'leave Spencer alone'," the kids would immediately stop."
"I later realized he was threatening to take their weed away if they bullied me, and that's why he was the only one who could get them to stop."- Spencer2091
Funny Might Not Be The Best Word...
"Someone had a baby in the bathroom stall."
"I wish I was making this up."- JacobCStowe
baby GIFGiphyLegs Are Legs!
"They banned shorts because they were not professional enough."
"So all the boys wore skirts as a protest."- Haboobalub·
Or Did They Just Have A Time-Turner In Their Pocket?
"One of the classrooms at my school was a prefab hut, and over time it developed a hole in the floor at the back of the room (developed, or was helped, unsure)."
"Every lesson I had in there for a good few months before they fixed it, someone would arrive, greet the teacher, and sit down."
"Then after a few minutes they'd arrive again, straight-faced 'sorry I'm late sir', and sit down."
"Then again a few minutes later they'd arrive again... etc."
"The fun part was watching the teacher playing the memory game of figuring out who'd arrived too many times."- telnorp
Depends On How Short We're Talking...
"Freshman year one of my friends wanted to me run for student body vice president as a part of his counterculture party."
"He insisted on having me be his VP, to the point where he got all the necessary signatures for me to run without my knowledge and just went ahead and signed me up."
"We had to write speeches to get other kids to vote for us, and those speeches had to be approved beforehand by some faculty member."
"So I wrote a very disparaging speech about the validity and purpose of student council, laden with curse words and personal attacks towards our administration, thinking it would get screened ahead of time and they would disqualify me."
"I guess no one actually read my speech and just rubber stamped it, so on that morning they pulled me aside and handed me a printed out copy of my speech."
homer simpson drinking GIFGiphy"I went ahead and gave my speech and I guess none of the faculty knew what to do because no one stopped me but they were clearly panicked and furious."
"I got a lot of laughs and applause."
"I assume it was too late to print all new ballots because when we went to vote my name was crossed out with a sharpie."
"I also got suspended for 5 days despite my explanation that I did not want to run and submitted my speech for approval, on time, fully intending to be disqualified."
"I was also told by some older student council members involved in the ballot counting process that I won by a landslide due to write ins and people just circling the black line of my name, but I have no idea if that's true."- pieonthedonkey
Ladders Must Have Been In Short Supply...
"A student got ahold of a LOT of explicit pictures and taped them to all of the school clocks, suspended from the ceiling. None of the teachers were tall enough to pull them down, so they were up there for a bit."- Unlikely_Use
A Hard One To Erase From Memory (...Pun Intended...)
"My wife is a school teacher, and a couple years ago the senior prank was them sticking a bunch of those suction cupsex toys to the windows."
"And let's just say that the school has a lot of windows."
"It was the brain child of some douche bag architect who thought building a high school with no walls just windows was good idea."
"Any way, they managed to get the largest of the them stuck to the 3rd floor outside window, of one of the classrooms."
"So the male assistant principal gets a ladder, but its not quite long enough so he's teetering on the top of this ladder trying knock a 2-foot long purple d*ck of the side of the school with a broom handle."
"She said he was beating that thing as it owed him money, and it was just bouncing around, flopping and banging against the window."
"While everyone watched through tears of laughter."- Nutesatchel
What The Hell Comedy GIF by Paramount+GiphyDid ANYONE Find This Funny?
"Someone in my high school sent letters to everyone they deemed 'virgins' parents saying their son or daughter was tested for and found to have an STD by the school nurse and that they needed to come to the school immediately."
"Used the school letterhead etc so they got charged with mail fraud lol."- B__Malz
When In Doubt, Follow Moses...
"In my HS, there was a solid week where somebody set a trash can on fire daily."
"Nobody knew if it was one person or a group of people, but I think after day five everyone got pretty tired of having to stand out in the football field while the fire department inspected the area.
"It stopped after that week with no explanation and no word from the culprit."
"Second best was definitely the senior prank performed by the class two years ahead of mine."
"They bought crickets from our local PetSmart and set them free on our school’s main staircase."
"It took forever to get rid of them and I can remember sitting in class and hearing faint chirping coming from seemingly every direction."- Livingroxets
"A boy in my class brought some locusts in to show and tell."
"They escaped and got into the air vents."
"This was just before summer break."
"School came back to a full-on plague."- Big_Explanation_8803
Bugs Insects GIF by The GuardianGiphyNeedless to say, one has little doubt that any of the planned occurrences in these stories were ever meant to be found funny by the faculty or staff.
Even so, one also has little doubt that they've all looked back and laughed about some of these with the passage of time...
I embarrass myself in the search for love constantly.
Or in the need to try and impress.
I can't help it.
And I know I'm not alone.
Every time I come face to face with a crush or someone that intimidates me, all of my wit, wisdom, and self-respect flies out the window. Suddenly words are just sounds that make no sense. I also laugh at the most inappropriate moments.
Trying to impress someone should be easy.
Well, maybe not easy, it can be a challenge but it shouldn't land anyone in the ER.
When did trying to gain someone's attention become a sporting event?
Thank God for Xanax.
I have found a little calm goes a long way.
A deleted Redditor wanted everyone to share about the times we've been left red in the face, so they asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever said to someone you were trying to impress?"
I once fell off of a treadmill trying to flirt with my high school crush.
I was running way too fast to show my "stamina."
I destroyed my Discman and my dignity.
Oh My
Licking Ice Cream GIF by MLB NetworkGiphy"Crush in High School worked at an ice cream store. When she asked for toppings I said 'I’ll have Reese’s penises please.' The store laughed."
WhaleyWino235
Tom Morello's Hometown
"I worked at the local guitar shop in town in high school. It happens to be Tom Morello's hometown (of rage against the machine fame). The owner used to babysit him when Tom was little and he'd always stop by to say hi when they were in town on tour. This was around the time of the evil empire and they were at peak popularity."
"He came in one day while I was there and asked if John was in. 16-year-old me just looked at him and asked 'Do you know who you are?!?!' He just laughed and said yes. Humiliated I went and got the owner and then tried to hide and die from shame."
matthewmichael
Echoes
"I was around 15, going through the receiving line at my cousin's wedding. This was my first 'grown-up' wedding and I wanted to act it. As I hugged my cousin I blurted out 'I'm so excited to be here! The last wedding I was at was your first one!'"
"That has echoed in my head for 30 years."
"E: This was my cousin's second wedding. The groom's first."
LGBecca
No Tip
"A server trying to get a tip: I went to clear a shared dessert dish from a table of 4 - mom, dad, and 2 sons. One son jokingly pointed at his mom and said 'She ate most of it.' I, the braindead server who was/is terrible at banter, but trying to get a tip said the first reply that came to mind: 'I can tell.' No idea why. Terrible reaction, as expected. No tip."
1nd1anaCroft
Snap
Buffering Back To School GIF by Rodney DangerfieldGiphy"I can do a Kickflip, then proceed to elegantly snap my ankle."
Mrlightyboy
Why do we risk our lives?
Have we really lost the ability for a simple flirt?
Where?
The Beautiful Game Thumbs Up GIF by World CupGiphy"I did once (truthfully) tell a girl from Austria that I didn't know what the capital of Austria was - which wouldn't be too embarrassing, except that I was wearing a t-shirt which said 'Vienna Rocks' on it at the time. She thought I was joking."
Ok-Fudge8848
The Red Lights
"I told everyone I knew about my plan to go on a trip to Europe. I had planned to tour different countries by train with a special visit to… Amsterdam. My intention was to visit a marijuana cafe, but in my ignorance, I thought that these were all located in the red lights district. I would tell people I was going to the red light district and they would understandably pause and ask me… why?"
"Trying to be sly I would say something like 'to do what the locals do of course,' believing that this meant smoking marijuana in a cafe… I was actually telling everyone I knew, friends, teachers, relatives, coworkers, that I was going to cross the Atlantic so I could hire a sex worker."
Virtual-Elderberry31
How Far You'll Go
"Was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn't get a seat next to me and sat directly behind me. During the flight, I thought I would surprise her and reached my hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling."
"Looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, 'I just wanted to see how far you'd go.' Of course, my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. Was so embarrassed."
Ladon1949
Not Cool
"I was skating at a school and my girlfriend calls me and says she wants to hang out. Tell her I'm skating but she can meet me at the school and we can figure out what we're doing from there. She shows up looking cute AF, so clearly I need to impress her. There was a little two stair where she was waiting for me and I went to do a BS 180 down it. Instead of just landing normally, I thought I would look more bada** if I stomped the landing."
"As I landed my lead foot came off the board and I landed with all of my weight on that ankle... Immediate excruciating pain ensued and I'm on the ground rolling in pain. My sad attempt to look cool skating had turned into one of the worst injuries I received and an extremely embarrassing moment. The pain was so bad I could barely drive my car back home because I severely injured my right ankle."
"Didn't break my ankle but I did have a severe ankle sprain. I've had surgery on it and it's much better, but it just has never been quite the same. As far as the girlfriend goes, we're still together and have been married for 10 years."
DJAXL
Listen Again
Go Away Beyonce GIFGiphy"I told a musician I like that I liked a specific song. It was not his song."
Naca-7
We are so silly.
Why can't we just say 'Hey' and get on with it?
Such drama.
We've all had to learn something the hard way or at a super inconvenient time.
But because we're always learning new things, of course there will have to be some things that we learn later, rather than sooner, no matter the consequences of learning it too late.
Redditor IndianaC0NES asked:
"What's an important lesson you learned the hard way?"
Money Management
"Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty."
- cpu5555
Permanent Partner
"Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever."
- pntszrn74
Make It Official First
"Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account, and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed."
- FriscoFrank98
Know Your Limits
"Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night."
- Gadrilor
Trust Your Gut
"If something feels wrong, it likely is."
- drzed47
"This is closely related to, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'"
- remag_nation
The Importance of Dental Health
"Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene."
- the_rice_life
"And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL."
- Next-Confection3261
Be Careful Who You Share It With
"Not everyone has the same heart as you do."
- Accomplished_Hat2770
Be Wary of Bullies
"Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you."
- Ko_ogs72
"My brain still can't comprehend someone being a d**k for no reason."
- Arny520
Recognize the Red Flags
"Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real."
- Fxk07
"And: No one is worth sacrificing your self-respect for."
- Waltzing_Methusalah
"It sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with."
"We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point, it’s too late to escape unscathed. Self-respect and what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships."
- brashbabu
The Likelihood of Success
"It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose."
- Tropicsenshi
Family Ties
"Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart."
- OhMyGodBearIsDriving
"Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad people who are biologically related to you."
- noorofmyeye24
Wear the Helmet
"WEAR A HELMET."
"It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering, etc. And it can literally save your life."
"I went all through the 90s thinking helmets were lame... I Fell while rollerblading in my 30s and got a subdural hematoma. I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into the concrete."
"HELMETS SAVE LIVES."
- Shortiie5115
Proper Eye and Ear Care
"Here is my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have a completely s**t vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, it's important."
- ipsok
"And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus."
- farmerofstrawberries
Love Your Loved Ones
"Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug."
"Never end a conversation with a harsh word."
"Both for the same reason. You never know if you will get to see that person alive again."
"I learned both those lessons from each of my parents."
- Edgezg
Self Advocate
"Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!"
- MISTERDIEABETIC
As humans, we will never stop learning and taking in new information, but there are, of course, some things that we wish we could have learned sooner or through an easier path.
But at least now that we've learned these lessons, we can share them with others, so they might not have to take the same path we did.