Parents Share What Their Kids' Boyfriends Can Say To Make Them More Likeable
Parents Share What Their Kids' Boyfriends Can Say To Make Them More Likeable[rebelmouse-image 18353589 is_animated_gif=
Guys, impressing your girlfriend's parents is intimidating, especially at first (at least, that's what they say). Need some pointers? You've come to the right place.
Gballah asked, Parents of Reddit, what can your daughter's boyfriend do or say that makes you really like them?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Including the siblings in your plans? Smart.[rebelmouse-image 18353590 is_animated_gif=
My daughter is 16 and her boyfriend is 18. They have been dating for a year and a half or so. He is respectful to her and is always looking out for her interests and safety, and he enjoys spending time with us as a family. We have six children and he is an only child so he may like the novelty, but they took our 10-year-old daughter on their "date" today because she had a hard week. He treats my daughter like she deserves the world and never takes advantage or makes himself a nuisance, and she never feels like a burden. Our daughter also has anxiety and he will call me if he is concerned about her or notices she is struggling. He is just a quality human full of empathy, big dreams, and wholesome love for her.
It never hurts to give her dad the day off during a move.[rebelmouse-image 18353591 is_animated_gif=
The first time I met my wife's parents was when they were helping her move into a new apartment.
I too was there to help move all her stuff. Her father has since relayed that it made him like me because I just showed up, did all the work and he didn't have to do anything.
So I guess it's less say something nice, but do something nice.
Looks like dad wasn't prepared for gentleman Reece.[rebelmouse-image 18353592 is_animated_gif=
As a dad, I knew I wanted my daughter to date someone that made her happy the right way and wanted to date her for the right reasons. He had known her for a few years prior and had been friend-zoned. He wasn't dating her just to get in her pants. He understands how to pick at/on me, but knows not to go too far. He's intelligent, compassionate, and has her best interests in mind. He developed a relationship with me, knowing how much my daughter and I mean to each other. He's respectful and helps out when he can. He seeks feedback from me on big issues and weighs my advice.
Making someone laugh is beautiful way of showing love and respect.[rebelmouse-image 18353593 is_animated_gif=
My parents loved my most recent ex because of his ability to make me laugh and smile. I'm a super serious person and had little issue being goofy and happy with him, which they were thrilled about because I've been miserable for years.
Take some initiative around their parent's house.[rebelmouse-image 18345106 is_animated_gif=
My parents really like that my boyfriend helps clean up. After dinner, he helps clear the table and frequently helps wash the dishes.
They also like that he is polite and respects me and my opinions but also keeps me grounded in reality.
Edit: he also gets points for doing things before someone asks or notices. Is the trash getting full? He takes it out. My mom needs help reaching something? He grabs it for her. Time for the dogs to be fed? He's on top of it.
Helping her disabled mother? Big points.[rebelmouse-image 18353594 is_animated_gif=
My daughters are still babies, but my younger sister, 15 years younger than me, whom I helped raised and mentored, has a boyfriend that is very genuine, humble, and a hard worker. When my mom was moving out of the house she had lived in for ten years, we asked my sister's boyfriend if he minded coming by to help us move my mom's stuff. My mom is mentally disabled and also a hoarder. She had tons of stuff in her house that needed cleaning, tossing, and packing. My sister's boyfriend showed up every day and spend hours helping us pack and clean out my mom's house. While many of my siblings half-assed the work and left home early, this young kid worked constantly and didn't leave until night time when the work for the day was done. He was only dating my sister, yet, he showed more dedication than any of my siblings did on any of the projects that he said he would do. I find that admirable.
Have some direction in life, and know how to respectfully challenge authority.[rebelmouse-image 18353595 is_animated_gif=
My father asked my boyfriend what his 5-year plan was when he first came over. Mind you, he was 17 years old at the time. My bf calmly explained what he wanted to do then turns to my father and says, "And sir, what is your 5-year plan?" My dad's loved him ever since.
Is she happy when you're not around? It speaks volumes.[rebelmouse-image 18353596 is_animated_gif=
As an older brother to a sister. There is nothing you can say or do. It's what she says or does. If my sister acts like herself around you and talks good about you. She's had some Eddy Haskell type boyfriends, but I can see through that sh_t. If she likes you, I like you.
If being a nerd is the worst thing about this guy, he's a keeper.[rebelmouse-image 18352979 is_animated_gif=
I don't think my parents have really liked any of my boyfriends. My dad thinks my fiance is a nerd. I'm fine with that, my dad is exactly the kind of person who a traditional dad would not want his daughter to marry.
To answer the question, the bare minimum is to be polite and help around the kitchen if you can't think of anything to say.
Not going straight to the bedroom will win you some points.[rebelmouse-image 18351678 is_animated_gif=
My parents liked the boyfriends who engaged in conversation with them and didn't just shuffle in the house and up to my room without talking to anyone. They always felt that that was disrespectful but gave us a lot more freedom and respect if we tried to be part of the family and hung out downstairs with everyone for a while. I soon learned that was the route to being allowed a closed bedroom door!
You gotta stand up for daddy's little girl. It's the right thing to do.[rebelmouse-image 18353597 is_animated_gif=
My boyfriend and I were at a pizza place and this guy was really drunk. Guy kept talking to and walking up to boyfriend and his table. He was simply annoying at that point. Then he starting making direct comments towards me about how hot I was and my boyfriend immediately stood up and made the guy leave. My boyfriend is the goofy type so this was surprising behavior.
My dad was instantly impressed and praised my boyfriend for sticking up for me. My dads a macho man type.
Always remember your manners![rebelmouse-image 18353598 is_animated_gif=
My parents liked everyone (for the most part) if they did the following:
1) Had and demonstrated manners (hold the door open, please, thank you, dinner is delicious, etc) 2) Made eye contact 3) Carried on a conversation.
Best stick to that curfew, boys.[rebelmouse-image 18353599 is_animated_gif=
Sorry Kevin, not falling for it. Bring her back by 10 pm.
This is parenting done right.[rebelmouse-image 18353600 is_animated_gif=
Add happiness to her life. That's it. I don't care what job he does, how much money he has, what his 'prospects' are. She's a smart woman, she knows what she's doing and I trust her to pick the right person for her.
(She did, they're married, he's part of our family).
Arrogance will get you banned from the family.[rebelmouse-image 18352104 is_animated_gif=
Usually just be polite and listen to us and esp. to her when we speak: not be a know it all or come across as arrogant.
When dad stumbles upon a moment of pure joy...[rebelmouse-image 18353601 is_animated_gif=
Once my dad walked into the living room while my boyfriend and I were imitating the gorillas from Tarzan, and laughing our a**es off. He just nodded and left as quickly as he walked in.
Are dowries still a thing?[rebelmouse-image 18353602 is_animated_gif=
Bring a dowry of 5 cattle, dozen lambs, and a mastercrafted loom, so that my wife may provide me with fine garments, as well as building a formal alliance between our houses.
For context, I am a 12th century noble.
Might wanna tap into your fencing training, bro.[rebelmouse-image 18353603 is_animated_gif=
Every time my daughter brings a man home, I refuse to give him my blessing unless he can defeat me in a Punjabi style sword fight. Most of them chicken out immediately, which shows me they are cowards. One took me up on the challenge and fought me ferociously, but he wasn't very skilled, and I slew him easily. If a man can't even protect his own life with a sword, I can't imagine how he could possibly protect my daughter.
Taking your kids to Coachella? Bold. Proactively responsible boyfriend? Priceless.[rebelmouse-image 18353604 is_animated_gif=
My wife and I took my daughter and her boyfriend to the Coachella Music Festival a few weeks ago. They are both high school seniors. As you can guess they had a different set of shows that they wanted to see, so my wife and I would meet up with them a couple of times each day. Her boyfriend sent us a text (without her knowing) that she wasn't feeling good and that the security/medical team had taken her over the barricade (they were in the front) and to the back of the stage. He gave us frequent updates while we made our way to that stage. Our daughter was fine, just hot and dehydrated and surprised that we knew anything about it. His calm and regular information reinforced to us that he really is a good kid, who cares about our daughter.
When you establish your dominance at the shooting range...[rebelmouse-image 18353607 is_animated_gif=
I took my then gf, now wife's dad to the gun range and outshot him. He's an ex-military k9 handler. After that, I told him I was going to marry his daughter.
One would think we're in a place in time where all conversations should be easy.
But that is not the case.
So much is still too "taboo" to be truthful about.
It is so frustrating.
There is so much to discuss.
Being shy is understandable, but it's something that we can all get over.
Redditor No_One_Special34 wanted to breakdown some barriers with a few simple conversations, so they asked:
"What is a taboo subject that should be talked about more?"
"Child/infant death. When my daughter died a bunch of people just... stopped talking to me altogether."
"I'm sorry to hear about your child."
"A 7-year-old was hit by a truck last week near my son's kg. I've never met the boy but I have had nightmares about it. I can't imagine what the parents are going thru right now. I can't imagine what you are going through."
"This happened to my mom when my brother died. Nobody knew what to say so few people said anything, and then it was treated like it didn’t happen."
The Aging Process
"We are a disgustingly ageist society. No wonder people pay BILLIONS for plastic surgery, hair color, and fitness, etc to stay relevant and not be thought of as useless or 'other.' It’s so very hateful. I think our society fears old age and death. It’s a f**king pathos."
"THANK YOU! I'm a 20-year paramedic. One of the things that I really hoped COVID would shed a light on is the absolutely abhorrent treatment of our elderly and infirmed. The 'treatment' in far too many nursing homes is negligent to a criminal level."
"Household budgets and finance - how much your parents make, how much is the mortgage, car insurance, car payment, and so on."
"That's easy. House, two cars, three kids, stay-at-home wife, pets, college tuition for everyone in the bank, a summer cottage home by the lake, and a hobby like golf should all do if you're a hardworking drug dealer nowadays."
"Agreed! We have gone into detail about our finances with our kids. We have them pick jobs on LinkedIn and a home on Zillow and budget so expenses and have them watch as they realize they can't afford expensive stuff on a crap salary. It's been really great."
Look for the Signs...
"Many people tend to assume that abusive people look creepy/scary and behave badly in general, but they don't seem to get that anyone can be abusive, regardless of appearance or demeanor. An abusive person can easily be charming, attractive, funny, witty, etc."
"Just because you think someone has a few positive qualities does not mean they're incapable of abuse."
"If someone's child 'seems' happy and well behaved, it does not mean that they are automatically OK or safe. There are many signs of abuse, and I wish that more people educated themselves on this issue. We can literally save lives by doing so."
The Girl Truth
"Girls need to know everything there is to know about menstruation before they experience it. At my school we were only given a quick 'every month you will bleed out your vagina, you can use pads or tampons to absorb it.' Nothing about any of the other mental or physical effects, nothing about how to deal with them, and nothing else reassuring."
Why are girls not taught more sooner?
Like what year are we living in?
"Number one for me, especially out-of-order deaths (young deaths). My husband died when I was 33 and he was 38. It's been almost 3 years and people still struggle with how to talk to me. We need to talk about death more as a society."
Only Legal One
"Alcoholism, especially in older generations."
"The biggest drug in the world, the most dangerous, only legal one. Alcohol has been disguised to make society believe it isn't even a drug. Now we're all hooked and can't go a week without a drink, funny because the cravings come back within a week."
"I quit drinking 18 months ago and it kinda sucks because if you want to go meet new ppl or go on a date it usually involves alcohol."
"Comprehensive sex ed. My mother never had sex ed and was convinced that vaginal discharge wasn't normal and that your crotch didn't sweat."
"My mother had a condition that requires her to use a catheter. She was shocked to learn that she doesn't urinate from her vagina, and that the opening to her urethra is actually slightly above it. She's 75. I'm a dude, and I've known that since I was 14."
"She was raised Catholic, and her mother taught her nothing. Not even what her period was. She was convinced she was dying."
Follow the Money
"Financial debt. In my line of work, I see people's bank accounts and credit reports every day and it is very rare that someone has zero debt. Excluding mortgages (which is a given) the vast majority have car finance, personal loans, and credit card balances. Mostly it's manageable, credit is mostly a convenience for which a person pays interest."
"But debt can also destroy a person. It can keep you up at night feeling like you're literally suffocating. It can lead to suicide. I know because I was close at one point. I don't know if I would have actually gone through with it but I had planned it to the point of measuring rope from the timbers in my attic to my neck and to ensure my feet wouldn't touch the ground."
"If you are in debt you are not alone, you're in the majority. If it's a struggle, notify the lenders/creditors; they're legally obligated to offer options to help you. It might reduce your credit score a bit but please don't ever reduce your life instead."
"Life is precious and money isn't. If you're struggling financially please speak to someone. There is no shame in it, pretty much everyone is struggling financially so someone will understand but please don't let a credit card balance be the reason your life ends."
"Pooping and poop problems. Colon cancer is so common and relatively treatable, but like all cancers, it's so much better to catch it early - yet so many people are too embarrassed to talk about poop problems, and they don't bring it up with their doctor until it's too late."
"I have ulcerative colitis and make sure all my friends know I'm totally comfortable talking about poop if they ever have any questions about whether something happening to them is normal or concerning."
Speak more. Speak louder. We've all been quiet too long.
The Thing People Would Look For First If Given A Box Of Everything They Ever Lost
As much as we might try to take care of our things, there are going to be instances where we lose things that we love.
Ironically, those lost things might be some of the most meaningful things we have in our lives.
Redditor baba_yaga_777 asked:
"If someone offered you a box of everything you ever lost, what would you look for first?"
A Mother's Brooch
"The brooch I bought for my mom's birthday when I was five years old (60 years ago)."
"I took all my money out of my bank and walked to the local Hallmark store. The nice lady took my money (probably less than $2) and wrapped up the gift."
"When my mom opened her gift, we walked back to the store 'to thank the lady for wrapping it so nicely.' It was actually so my mom could offer to pay the rest of the cost of that beautiful brooch. The lady wouldn't accept any more money, though."
"And here we are, 60 years later, and I still remember the incredible kindness of that lady."
"I don't have the brooch or my mom, but I do have this memory."
"When we left Yemen during the civil war in 1994, it was rushed and we lost a handbag that had all family photos from 15 to 20 years prior. It sucks not to have pictures of me when I was younger."
The Perfect Fit
"My swim trunks for this summer. I just got them last year and they fit me perfectly, and now I can't find them for the life of me. It p**ses me off thinking about it."
All Progress Saved
"The 'Pokémon Crystal' game that I had leveled all of my favorite characters up to Level 80. The housecleaner swiped it and my parents wouldn’t believe me. F**k you, Julie."
Lost Loved Ones
"My daughter. She was gone way too quick."
A Beloved Baby Blanket
"My childhood blankie. I have no idea what happened to it!"
"I somehow managed not to lose or destroy mine and gave it to my firstborn child. He still keeps it in his bed and turns seven soon. I think I’d ask for that too if it was lost."
Former Best Friends
"My best friend from my formative years."
"Oof, same. She was like a sister to me. She lives on the other side of the country now and, even though we grew apart, I miss how I felt when I spent time with her."
"The stuffed platypus I had when I was in elementary. Every time my mom mentions finding stuff in my grandpa's house, I ask about it."
In Exchange for Toxic Relationships
"The self-esteem that I allowed others to destroy during a phase of illness."
"High school sketchbook full of emo edgy drawings."
The Family Ring
"My mum's ring she'd been given by her Grandma that I pawned (my mum agreed at the time but always regretted it afterwards)."
"I got way, way less than its worth, since the guy took advantage of my age and desperation. The worst thing is, I can't even remember the design so can't ever have it replicated and can't ask my mum because she passed away earlier this year."
"Sure, I still love holidays but… as a kid, it was like, 'Holy mother of everliving f**k, Halloween is in THREE WEEKS? That is entirely too long. I will never be able to wait. Holy d**n.' And when it finally arrived, I'd have the night of my life."
"Now it’s like, 'Oh no. Halloween is in two days. Uh... Oh well...'"
The Sea of Lost Picks
"As a guitarist, all of my f**king picks."
Junk Drawers and Boxes
"The box I lost that had everything in it."
Quite the Conundrum
"The issue is that I can't recall what I've lost."
We've all lost things in our lives, some more important than others.
It's especially telling that at least most of us know exactly what we would seek first, before anything else that might possibly be in that box.
People Share What Their Reaction Would Be To Meeting A Naked Hiker On The Trail
There are several things that are appealing to hikers.
Being out in nature and taking in some fresh air is a huge motivation for people to get out of the house.
Getting exercise is also a factor to maintain a healthy heart.
But there could be one unexpected element to a hike that can happen hypothetically, and it's sure to raise your heartbeat.
Specifically, seeing something shocking along the hiking trail, like, say, a naked person could make for an exciting–or disturbing–hiking outing. It certainly doesn't get any more au natural than that.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor spenf asked:
"What would be your reaction if you encountered a nude hiker?"
These Redditors assessed the situation and saw no harm.
"I have passed two nude hikers in my 35 years of hiking. One male, one female, years and thousands of miles apart. Both said 'hello'. I said 'hello.' One mentioned the trail was washed out ahead but a second trail has been cut. I thanked them for the heads-up. Some people like the wind and sun on their skin. Both had on hiking boots. To each their own."
Sign Of Good Character
"I have. Three times! I'm an avid backpacker and you can usually find me in Yosemite, SeKi, Emigrant or Carson-Iceberg in California on any random summer weekend."
"My standard line: 'Afternoon, I didn't realize it was so cold out today!'"
"One of them didn't get the joke. The other two laughed their nude a**es off."
"Here's my reasoning. If you're naked and can laugh at a joke, you're probably not a threat."
"Depends. A hiker with hiking boots/shoes and a backpack, but otherwise nude, or a completely nude person on a hiking trail?"
"Scenario 1: I give a friendly wave and hike on."
"Scenario 2: I give a more tentative wave and hike on, maintaining a heightened awareness of my surroundings."
"I met one once. A middle aged man in ok shape. Had nice hiking boots, thick wool socks, fancy framed backpack, two walking poles, hat, sunglasses, and nothing else on."
"I said hi in a neutral voice, he replied hi in an equally neutral voice. We passed, I did not look back."
Some hikers are suspect.
"While backpacking out of Rocky Mountain National Park we encountered a dude wearing nothing but shoes and some very small shorts. He was off trail about 100' at the edge of a meadow, walking and swinging a machete. I...did not approach. He was probably a mile in from the trail head. I'm guessing drugs."
Beware Of Black Magic
"Ha! There are a lot of superstitious rumors/stories circulating around scenario 2 in India. Apparently, people who practice black magic with the sole intent of harming someone are often seen walking naked in places you don't expect people, carrying weird items."
"Either you interrupt them by disturbing them (no clue what happens next) or you run in the opposite direction."
You may want to take note.
"I live in the Bay Area and naked hikers are not uncommon."
"Good naked hiker: has appropriate shoes, a backpack or fanny pack, is hiking with intention and looks tanned and fit and like he does this regularly. Good naked hikers will give you room so you don't have to interact unless you really want to."
"Bad naked hiker: shoeless, visible sores, scrapes, or burns, moving erratically (i.e. really slow or in a zig-zag). Might be a drugged out person. Out-of-shape or pale are indications this is not normal for them and they may not have intended for this to happen."
"Exhibitionist: makes a point to make eye contact, smile at you, wave, try to involve you. Good naked hikers are usually on long, deep trails where they're less likely to encounter others, and they tend to give clothed hikers a wide breath out of a sense of respect and consent. Exhibitionists get chummy; it excites them to be seen naked."
"Also depends on the area. A deep woods area with long trails is ideal for naked hiking. Shorter and more accessible trails are less okay because there's a higher likelihood of encountering families with children."
"Also depends on if they're with friends or not. A group of naked hikers is less concerning than an individual."
"All this boils down to:"
"If you see a naked hiker, mind your own business. A good naked hiker isn't trying to bother you. A bad naked hiker is potentially dangerous. An exhibitionist wants attention so any attention paid to them will fuel them. Best thing to do is nod as you pass and carry on like you haven't even noticed."
"Edit: There are actually areas in the Bay Area where it's permitted to hike naked. Regionally, some places allow nudity. Also some places allow women to be topless so a topless female hiker might just be evening out her tan. It's best not to assume and to know the local laws before passing judgement on a person getting their nature on."
Guilty as charged.
The Name Is A Dead Giveaway
"No reaction at all, since I would be nude myself."
"Stare in disbelief. That's just very strange and coincidental for two nude hikers to run into each other."
"I guess make sure they have sunscreen also."
To each their own, but if hiking in the nude is your thing, you do you.
And just a heads up: If you're walking around in the buff and happen to be wielding a machete, you're going to make people very jittery. So maybe drop the prop.
Also, wear plenty of sunscreen.
The Absolute Hardest Parts Of Dating After Age 30
30 is the new 20.
At least, that's what a lot of people tell themselves after they pass that milestone birthday.
Even so, while age is merely a number, people still find certain things grow increasingly more challenging with each passing year.
Including, or even particularly, dating.
Those still on the hunt for love after turning 30 might grow increasingly insecure, worry that their moment has passed, or be unable to ignore the ticking of their biological clock reminding them that time might be running out to start a family.
Not to mention, playing a losing game over and over can become completely and utterly exhausting after a while.
"What is the hardest part of dating after 30?"
Not Everyone Wants A Package Deal
"Realizing that the number of single parents is larger than you’d expect."- dhabo1030
"Some people have kids or want them soon."
"And emotional baggage."- Psyblade0_0
"Kids, whether you have them or not, is something to talk and consider immediately before starting anything."- Crisb89
"For me, it was finding someone who didn't have kids, and didn't want them."
"At that point in my life, I was (and still am) 100% sure I don't want kids."
"Finding a long-term partner who wants the same was pretty tough."- Toiletpaperplane
"Everyone has kids."- TopScruffyPlaying Happy Children GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Everyone's In A Hurry
"'Dating after 30 is like catching a city bus after midnight'."
"'There aren't as many, but they're faster'."- civex
How Long Have You Got?
"Online dating sucks and all my friends are married or dead or single fathers."
"So I am on my own for the most part."- somedude-83
"It's not all fun and games anymore."
"People feel late or behind."
"First dates often: are we compatible, do you want kids, are you OK with my kids, are you ready for a serious relationship, do you make enough money, do you own a home, politics?"
"I don't have time to mess with you if we aren't a match because I'm in my 30s and supposed to be married and having kids."
"The days of just light fun dating are less common."- ZLVe96Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy
Emotional And/Or Excess Baggage
"You sometimes pay for what their ex did to them."- JJJAAABBB123
Rising Standards And Expectations
"You have your preferences narrowed down a LOT more than you did in your 20s, thus finding a compatible partner is more difficult."
"Especially if you dislike kids."- Clintman
"Many people want 'high value' partners while having no value."- Zetterburger40Sassy Red Wine GIF by Married At First SightGiphy
Solo routines Can Be Hard To Shake...
"I've learned I prefer my own company."- PrinceEnternalStench
"The summoning rituals you have to go through."- AdCareful5654
Wait Till Your 40s...
"Wait until they’re over 45."
"Most are divorced and have been alone for a while."
"It‘s a reset of dating and they’re open to try something new."
"That person who was out of your league is now squarely in your court."
"Go for it!"- macgivSee Ya Goodbye GIF by MaxGiphy
Good Luck Getting A Good Night's Sleep...
"CPAP Machines."- Reddit
As long as you are single, finding love is one of the many things you think you might never achieve with each passing year.
However, when you do finally find that one true love, no matter when or how old you are, you will realize in no time at all it was definitely worth the wait.