Parents Share What Their Kids' Boyfriends Can Say To Make Them More Likeable
Guys, impressing your girlfriend's parents is intimidating, especially at first (at least, that's what they say). Need some pointers? You've come to the right place.
Gballah asked, Parents of Reddit, what can your daughter's boyfriend do or say that makes you really like them?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Including the siblings in your plans? Smart.
My daughter is 16 and her boyfriend is 18. They have been dating for a year and a half or so. He is respectful to her and is always looking out for her interests and safety, and he enjoys spending time with us as a family. We have six children and he is an only child so he may like the novelty, but they took our 10-year-old daughter on their "date" today because she had a hard week. He treats my daughter like she deserves the world and never takes advantage or makes himself a nuisance, and she never feels like a burden. Our daughter also has anxiety and he will call me if he is concerned about her or notices she is struggling. He is just a quality human full of empathy, big dreams, and wholesome love for her.
It never hurts to give her dad the day off during a move.
The first time I met my wife's parents was when they were helping her move into a new apartment.
I too was there to help move all her stuff. Her father has since relayed that it made him like me because I just showed up, did all the work and he didn't have to do anything.
So I guess it's less say something nice, but do something nice.
Looks like dad wasn't prepared for gentleman Reece.
As a dad, I knew I wanted my daughter to date someone that made her happy the right way and wanted to date her for the right reasons. He had known her for a few years prior and had been friend-zoned. He wasn't dating her just to get in her pants. He understands how to pick at/on me, but knows not to go too far. He's intelligent, compassionate, and has her best interests in mind. He developed a relationship with me, knowing how much my daughter and I mean to each other. He's respectful and helps out when he can. He seeks feedback from me on big issues and weighs my advice.
Making someone laugh is beautiful way of showing love and respect.
My parents loved my most recent ex because of his ability to make me laugh and smile. I'm a super serious person and had little issue being goofy and happy with him, which they were thrilled about because I've been miserable for years.
Take some initiative around their parent's house.
My parents really like that my boyfriend helps clean up. After dinner, he helps clear the table and frequently helps wash the dishes.
They also like that he is polite and respects me and my opinions but also keeps me grounded in reality.
Edit: he also gets points for doing things before someone asks or notices. Is the trash getting full? He takes it out. My mom needs help reaching something? He grabs it for her. Time for the dogs to be fed? He's on top of it.
Helping her disabled mother? Big points.
My daughters are still babies, but my younger sister, 15 years younger than me, whom I helped raised and mentored, has a boyfriend that is very genuine, humble, and a hard worker. When my mom was moving out of the house she had lived in for ten years, we asked my sister's boyfriend if he minded coming by to help us move my mom's stuff. My mom is mentally disabled and also a hoarder. She had tons of stuff in her house that needed cleaning, tossing, and packing. My sister's boyfriend showed up every day and spend hours helping us pack and clean out my mom's house. While many of my siblings half-assed the work and left home early, this young kid worked constantly and didn't leave until night time when the work for the day was done. He was only dating my sister, yet, he showed more dedication than any of my siblings did on any of the projects that he said he would do. I find that admirable.
Have some direction in life, and know how to respectfully challenge authority.
My father asked my boyfriend what his 5-year plan was when he first came over. Mind you, he was 17 years old at the time. My bf calmly explained what he wanted to do then turns to my father and says, "And sir, what is your 5-year plan?" My dad's loved him ever since.
Is she happy when you're not around? It speaks volumes.
As an older brother to a sister. There is nothing you can say or do. It's what she says or does. If my sister acts like herself around you and talks good about you. She's had some Eddy Haskell type boyfriends, but I can see through that sh_t. If she likes you, I like you.
If being a nerd is the worst thing about this guy, he's a keeper.
I don't think my parents have really liked any of my boyfriends. My dad thinks my fiance is a nerd. I'm fine with that, my dad is exactly the kind of person who a traditional dad would not want his daughter to marry.
To answer the question, the bare minimum is to be polite and help around the kitchen if you can't think of anything to say.
Not going straight to the bedroom will win you some points.
My parents liked the boyfriends who engaged in conversation with them and didn't just shuffle in the house and up to my room without talking to anyone. They always felt that that was disrespectful but gave us a lot more freedom and respect if we tried to be part of the family and hung out downstairs with everyone for a while. I soon learned that was the route to being allowed a closed bedroom door!
You gotta stand up for daddy's little girl. It's the right thing to do.
My boyfriend and I were at a pizza place and this guy was really drunk. Guy kept talking to and walking up to boyfriend and his table. He was simply annoying at that point. Then he starting making direct comments towards me about how hot I was and my boyfriend immediately stood up and made the guy leave. My boyfriend is the goofy type so this was surprising behavior.
My dad was instantly impressed and praised my boyfriend for sticking up for me. My dads a macho man type.
Always remember your manners!
My parents liked everyone (for the most part) if they did the following:
1) Had and demonstrated manners (hold the door open, please, thank you, dinner is delicious, etc) 2) Made eye contact 3) Carried on a conversation.
Best stick to that curfew, boys.
Sorry Kevin, not falling for it. Bring her back by 10 pm.
This is parenting done right.
Add happiness to her life. That's it. I don't care what job he does, how much money he has, what his 'prospects' are. She's a smart woman, she knows what she's doing and I trust her to pick the right person for her.
(She did, they're married, he's part of our family).
Arrogance will get you banned from the family.
Usually just be polite and listen to us and esp. to her when we speak: not be a know it all or come across as arrogant.
When dad stumbles upon a moment of pure joy...
Once my dad walked into the living room while my boyfriend and I were imitating the gorillas from Tarzan, and laughing our a**es off. He just nodded and left as quickly as he walked in.
Are dowries still a thing?
Bring a dowry of 5 cattle, dozen lambs, and a mastercrafted loom, so that my wife may provide me with fine garments, as well as building a formal alliance between our houses.
For context, I am a 12th century noble.
Might wanna tap into your fencing training, bro.
Every time my daughter brings a man home, I refuse to give him my blessing unless he can defeat me in a Punjabi style sword fight. Most of them chicken out immediately, which shows me they are cowards. One took me up on the challenge and fought me ferociously, but he wasn't very skilled, and I slew him easily. If a man can't even protect his own life with a sword, I can't imagine how he could possibly protect my daughter.
Taking your kids to Coachella? Bold. Proactively responsible boyfriend? Priceless.
My wife and I took my daughter and her boyfriend to the Coachella Music Festival a few weeks ago. They are both high school seniors. As you can guess they had a different set of shows that they wanted to see, so my wife and I would meet up with them a couple of times each day. Her boyfriend sent us a text (without her knowing) that she wasn't feeling good and that the security/medical team had taken her over the barricade (they were in the front) and to the back of the stage. He gave us frequent updates while we made our way to that stage. Our daughter was fine, just hot and dehydrated and surprised that we knew anything about it. His calm and regular information reinforced to us that he really is a good kid, who cares about our daughter.
When you establish your dominance at the shooting range...
I took my then gf, now wife's dad to the gun range and outshot him. He's an ex-military k9 handler. After that, I told him I was going to marry his daughter.
