Children are a handful. You have to birth them, pay for them and then take care of them for decades. So one would think that would be grounds for some positive treatment. But kids can be cruel.
Whether they didn't mean it or not, children can cause a hit to their parents emotional psyche.
Redditor beardlesshipsterreached out to the parents of Reddit asking... Parents of Reddit, what's something your kids do without realizing it hurts your feelings? Grab a drink moms and dads, you're not alone.
Sorry Pop!
GiphyFour year old - "Daddy, I love you."
Me - "Thanks bug, I love you too."
Four year old - "Daddy, I love mommy more though."
Daddying for life...
I have a daughter, 12. We've always been pretty close, and in most ways we still are. We've always done everything together... but, she's at the age now where friends, etc. are becoming more important. I'll bring up something we can do, like watching a movie that I think she'll like. Five minutes in, she'll get a message from a friend, light up, and just disappear for the rest of the movie.
Now, I get it. I'm sure I was like that too. I'm not gonna freak out about it or anything... but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt my feelings a little now and then.
Dads just want to keep daddying.
Do you hear you?
GiphyI'm speaking from the kids side, but sharing it because I was devastated the other day to hear my moms side...
When I was young, my brothers and I would tease my mom's singing voice every time we sang together (church, scouting events, whatevs). From our side of things, it truly was done very lightheartedly. I loved singing with my mom, her crooked voice was part of that love.
A few days ago, I was driving with her. She's in her 70s. A great song came on the radio that I know she loves and I started to sing along, asking her to join me. She did a little, but soon stopped. I asked her why she wouldn't sing with me.
"Because I have a funny voice."
Know where you stand!
GiphyWhen my daughter was 5, I let her watch the Lion King. She's a fairly emotional little thing, so we were concerned about how she'd react to the death of the father.
We get to the scene, and I'm watching her carefully, but there's no big reaction... this is a kid who cries during some commercials. Anyways, I don't beg the issue and let it roll. Later in the movie she asks where Simba's dad is, and I think, "here we go." I pause the movie and talk with her about how he died in the stampede. Her reaction...
"What's the big deal, he still has his mom." Ice cold.
Guilt is good...
One Halloween when my son was like 4 our little nuclear family went to a corn maze for fun. To make things a little more exciting the proprietors had also set a tipi with a giant pumpkin inside. You were suppose to go into the tipi and make a wish on the pumpkin. So we sent my son in make a wish and he says "I wish it was just me and mommy and daddy was at work."
My heart shrank three sizes that day. He's 20 now and is still mortified with guilt over saying this.
Careful what you wish for.
GiphyEvery morning as a kid I was always woke up to the sound of my mom singing. It was her way of "wake up it's time for school." I'd sometimes wait beside my door or pretend to sleep just to listen to her more. When I was 10, I was in a bad mood and my mom was singing while driving, I yelled at her "stop singing! you don't even sound good." She stopped singing after that.
Dad loves you too!
I didn't realize this until my sister started doing it (there's seven years between us). My Mum was a teacher, so when I had homework, it made sense to go to "the teacher" for help. I never asked my Dad because I didn't see the point.
My sister starts school and does the same with her homework. One night he said "I can help you with it" and my sister, who was about 7/8 at the time walked past him and said, "no thanks, I'll just wait for Mum to get home."
He looked really upset. I think it was the assumption we thought he was stupid (we didn't) or we didn't want to spend time with him (not always true).
It's just a dream...
GiphyWhen my daughter gets a night terror at night she will tell me crying, that she wished I died instead of mommy.... She hasn't done it for a couple of months now but, it hurts more than I can bear. I calm her down and get her back to sleep and usually go to my room and cry.
Everybody doesn't have to like you...
GiphyMy four year old is always talking about how she wants her mom to do things because she loves her mama. She spent the first three years of her life saying she didn't like me. :(
I know she's just a little girl, but once in a while it gets to me.
Just because he is your's doesn't mean he is cool.
GiphyI spent thousands of dollars in court to stand up to my ex-wife so my son could attend an internship his senior year.
He didn't finish the internship, accused me of never supporting him and then went to live with his mother after he graduated because he wanted to smoke, forgetting the experience he learned during his internship.
Happy Holidays... except for you Sir!
My kids are 19 and 15. This year they didn't even acknowledge me for Father's day. For the most part, my wife didn't either.
You know who did? My 8 year old nephew and niece. Made me feel pretty crappy.
My ex just recently moved an hour and a half away so thinks are touch and go with my son right now.
But he will regularly say how much he wants to spend time at her new place when we are spending our time together, or repeatedly ask to have sleepovers at her house when he first comes back. I know he loves us both but dang that cuts deep.
I love cookie dough!
GiphyBoth of my kids make a lot of comments about my body and some of them can sting. Last week my 5 year old said my arms were like bags of cookie dough.
No invite for you...
GiphyMy almost three year-old twins often tell me I'm not invited to their birthday party.
Unhand that fool!
Right now he's a toddler so he's just hardwired to be a bit of a jerk, but it bothers me when I get him up in the morning or come home from work and he doesn't want to hug me or tell me about his day at all. Also, he begs me to play with him but when I do he generally takes whatever toy I'm using or tells me I "can't do that."
Father & Husband Always...
GiphyMy son is 2. Yesterday my wife asked him to come sit with her and read a book. He said "no don't want you, want dada." I could tell it really hurt my wife's feelings so I moved to the couch and sat our son in between us and we read to him. 2 year olds just say exactly what they think with no regards to hurting feelings.
My teenage son came across some old wedding photos that his dad had put away for him at his office. When his step-Mom discovered these photos, she became upset, so my son threw them away to avoid the drama. These photos were 24 years old. There are no duplicates and my son doesn't understand why I'm upset that he didn't just bring them to me.
Do I know you?
GiphyWhen I drop them off at a party or day camp and I go to say bye, they've already gone off with friends. Kids are getting older now so it's not cool to kiss or hug dad goodbye, but man it stings, and I sure don't want to embarass them so I just sadly walk to my car.
Snooze....
GiphyWhen my son begs me to help him make something in the garage and then in the middle of explaining to him how we're going to do it..... asks me if he can go play Minecraft instead.
Before the "you're boring" comments we were designing a fidget spinner in CAD to print on the 3D printer. He was doing the work himself.
You're hardly a laugh riot yourself kid...
"I like Dad, he's more fun." Look, I don't like being the disciplinarian, either, but I feel like I have to sometimes. Sucks to be seen as the less-preferred parent for doing something I wish I didn't have to do in the first place.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.