It's the dream of every parent and family member that their loved ones find a significant other who is deserving of them. A person who will love them, care for them, cherish and protect them or at the very least... a person who won't rob them blind and leave their souls broken and in despair. More often than not parents aren't going to just jump on the new boyfriend/girlfriend bandwagon and that can be an arduous, frustrating process but sometimes our loved ones are spot on! They can smell the rat while we're only seeing roses. And it's not easy for anyone involved to make the situation palatable.
Redditor u/eternalsoul116 asked people of Reddit to admit... Who's the biggest loser your son/daughter has dated?
Let's make a garage band!
My little sister dated a guy who kept trying to convince her to drop out of a UC school and move into his mom's garage.
It took way too much effort on my dad and my part to get her to put the kibosh on that relationship, mostly because the guy's mom thought my sister was good for him and tried to fight us on it.
My daughter dated a guy who was a crappy, lying, lazy, abusive, gaslighting a**hole. Besides that, he 1) dropped out of high school at 14; 2) never attempted to get a GED/diploma equivalency; 3) had more than one conviction for public intoxication/underage drinking/drunk driving, which left him 4) "unable" to get a job for approximately 18 months of the about 2 years they were together; 5) got fired from Walmart after only working two weeks, for missing work because his kid supposedly was victim of an abduction attempt (turns out the kid made it up); 6) smoked weed in her apartment bathroom, knowing that if my daughter failed a drug screen her career would be ruined; 7) had his two kids every other weekend, but spent the entire time with headphones on, gaming, meaning my daughter had to watch his kids or they'd destroy her apartment; 8) would only eat corn or potatoes, hamburgers or chicken fingers, or pizza, but fast food was A-ok; 9) never picked up after himself, so every horizontal surface was covered in half-drunk pop cans, fast food wrappers, cups and bags, dirty plates, moldy food (daughter is an RN and worked 12-hour shifts, which is sort of an excuse); 10) punched a hole in her apartment wall; 11) held a gun to his own head, then laughed at her for taking him seriously; 12) constantly accused her of cheating, so she had to unfriend all males on her Facebook, including her father; 13) threatened to leave when her anxiety and depression had her sleeping anytime she wasn't at work; and 14) when she finally took him up on his bluff it was during a terrifying food-throwing, soda-hurling, furniture-smashing temper tantrum that had her grab her cats from under the bed and come to my house 50 miles away.
I could go on, but remembering all that is turning my stomach. In cleaning her apartment afterward, we had to wash the walls from where he had done a Hollywood-style sweep of the coffee table top, spraying Dr. Pepper all over the carpet, TV and stand, wall, and canvas art, all the way to the ceiling. Then for good measure he smashed the coffee table.
He was a complete tool and with the help of a therapist she is finally getting back to the funny, intelligent, confident girl she was before he messed her head up. I am thrilled I don't have to dread that phone call...you know the one, where she was calling to say he'd beaten her (there would have been a long line of people wanting to pull his ballstrings up through his throat, believe me), or worse, one from a coroner.
Never join cash!
My sister dated them all! My favorite was a guy who convinced her to have joint bank accounts and stole 6 months worth of pay from her. We didn't know until after the relationship. The dude was a major conman salesman type that had like 4 different get rich quick schemes while they dated.
While nothing compared to some of the stories here it doesn't feel great to see my daughter move in with a high school drop out and "take a break" from college.
I'm expecting any day now to hear that her savings that was supposed to be for college will be going to pay off his debt.
Break her free!
My sister is currently married to a controlling a**hole. He leaves jobs and accepts others out of state without consulting her, forcing her to leave medical practices on short notice. She is now working for the Feds and he has just done it again. She has been trying to get a transfer but he's telling her to quit now. Her career is in shambles because of her poor job history of leaving places on short notice. Plus she's gained about 200lbs and this guys legs are purple and about to fall off because he doesn't believe in diets. She wants kids and he has one already and is refusing to have another (Thank goodness) but she is depressed and unhappy. She refuses to leave him, citing her age as an excuse.
He has insulted my family in front of me and has tried to bully my husband and I. When that didn't work, after I yelled at him, he told her she wasn't allowed to talk to us anymore. He has cussed out my mother over the phone, and ridiculed every last one of my family members. I don't currently speak to her, because I cannot stand to hear all of the shitty things he does. My mother has very little contact with her as well, I'm not 100% on the exact reason but I suspect its not far from mine. I have told her she is welcomed to stay with my husband and I if she ever wants to leave him. No matter what time day or night I will book the plane ticket and replace anything that she cannot bring with her.
My dad threatened to take me off the will if I ended up with my ex. Not that I would ever pick money over love (obviously considering I was going into major debt being with this guy), but my dad is a man of few words - everything he says has weight and purpose. That threat made me seriously re-evaluate my relationship with my ex who couldn't keep a job for more than a few weeks. We dated for two years and I dragged out the break up for way longer than I should have.
I'm now with a guy who has a pulls his weight in the relationship! Good luck to your daughter.
Follow the $$$
My sister dated a guy, lets call him Tom, who worked under my dad at the business he owns and runs. Now I'm not saying Tom was a loser because worked for our family, my sister and I both work in similar positions and thats how they met. But there were a number of instances that just shouted "Hey whats up I'm Tom and I'm a loser." For example, Tom seemed to never have any money, usually blaming things like his rent being to high or his car needing to be worked on.
Due to this my sister ended up having to pay for the majority of the dates and dinners that they went on. In reality, he had spent most of his money on unnecessary toys like Dirt bikes, guns, and modifications for his 1999 Honda civic. His spending habits got so bad that his landlord threatened him with eviction, this tore my sister up, not because he was getting evicted but because she knew that he was making enough money to never be in that type of situation. Anyway, Tom got the bright idea to ask her and my father for the rent money ($650) while they were out to dinner. My dad ended up helping him out so he wouldn't go homeless, but what he didn't know was that Tom had asked him for more money than what his rent was so he could go out and spend it on other things other than my sister. So yeah he was a loser and I didn't like him much.
My really quite intelligent daughter once dated a lad who didn't know the difference between the sun and the moon. Not joking. Ages - My daughter was 18 and the lad was 20
He thought the moon glowed because it was the same as the sun, ie a ball of nuclear fire. Although I imagine he knew it wasn't as hot. He had no idea at all that the moon was reflecting light.
He came from a family of people who saw very little point in education. His mother had never worked, none of his family worked, he didn't work.
He was actually a nice lad, but difficult to converse with due to his very low level of education.
Something is fishy!
My sister dated a guy who lied about being a Navy Seal. Apparently there is like a whole community of people who do that, just go around unemployed living on ??? telling their SOs when they disappear for weeks at a time that they were "deployed." It never made any sense to us, and she broke up with him for other reasons and gets really pissed off if anyone mentions the relationship happened.
He was a creepy dude who took advantage of her trusting nature and that she was at a low point in her life, and I regret not doing more to call him out on his obvious bull. He's still in the area doing God knows what, probably trotting out the same crap to new women. I hope one day he gets his ass beat by a real Navy Seal!
My sister dated this d**khead that would make her cry about once every 2 months. He posted something to Facebook that had a picture of a notebook and something like "If you come home and expect your husband to work around the house, your going to have a bad marriage." Inside the book. She broke up with him just a month ago.
Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People
There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
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