Having children can be a rewarding experience, particularly as you watch them grow and evolve into their own people.
Today's burning question came from Redditor wtdoido, who asked the online community: "Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child?"
"I went out and found him playing in the snow..."
There was a snowy day. I was working still in my office. I went into the living room where my son was supposed to be playing videogames and couldn't find him. I searched the house, no where.
I went out and found him playing in the snow (he was 5 or 6).
I said, "Oh buddy, please don't go outside without telling me, and please buddy, wait for me to finish my work and I'll come out and shovel and then you can play."
Then I looked closer, and noticed, he had his little shovel in his hands and was shoveling off part of the sidewalk and he said, "But daddy, if I shovel now there will be less for you to do when you are finished work."
"I went to meet my daughter..."
I went to meet my daughter after a concert and heard a group of kids hanging around outside talking about her.
Kid 1: I know the drummer in the band. Kid 2: Really? You know her? Kid 1: Yeah, we're friends. We were in the same English class, once. Kid 2: you liar!
At this point, my daughter is done getting packed up backstage so I go help her grab her gear. I tell her what I heard so we walk around the front of the building on our way out. She walks up to the girl (whose name she didn't remember anymore) and waves and gives her big "Hey! How's it going?!" The girl breaks into this huge smile, and as we leave, I can see all her friends huddled around her impressed by what just went down.
"I always feel proud of my children but..."
When my youngest daughter gave me all the money in her piggy bank to buy insulin for her friend because her parents couldn't afford it. I always feel proud of my children but for some reason that moment always stood out for me.
"I am a stepdad of two kids..."
I am a stepdad of two kids. It has not been easy, as their dad did not handle the breakup well and did everything in his power to get the kids not to like me (or their mother, for that matter). Over the last decade, it seems to have backfired and the kids see through his irrational, alienating tendencies.
The proudest moment I had was when I found out the daughter wanted to be a writer like me. It really means a lot, even if she doesn't end up writing. I will support her no matter what she wants to do.
Those kids are not my blood, but blood is blood and love is love. I feel I don't really need children of my own. So, cheers to all the step-parents out there!
"My son stood up to a bully..."
My son stood up to a bully recently even though he knew the outcome.
He got the sh*t kicked out of him, but after his defiance landed the bully in juvie, all the kids at his school started standing up for themselves more.
Love that kid.
"That night, when I was looking through her old baby pictures..."Giphy
I just took my 4 year old daughter to her Preschool Open House on Wednesday. It was really fun and I look forward to her starting school, but a small part of me was really sad that she's getting older. As I talked to her teacher and she took me through a regular day, I kept eyeballing my daughter playing with the other kids. It made me feel proud that she wasn't searching around the room looking for me. She was acting like a big kid.
When we made it back to the car, she gave me a big hug and said "thank you, Mommy." She has no idea that school is a mandatory part of life...so she just concluded that I had made the decision for her, and she was sincerely grateful. It made me happy to have such a thoughtful, little girl.
That night, when I was looking through her old baby pictures and watching old videos, (and looking shamelessly sad) she came up to me and said "don't worry... I'll always come home to you. You're a great Mommy."
I had to take a fake "potty break" to let some tears go... ah, that kid.
"Our daughter had wild and troubled teenage years..."
Our daughter had wild and troubled teenage years that led to some life-threatening situations and her dropping out of school. But over a few years, she found steady work, went back and finished school, got accepted to the highest-rated graphic-design program in the country, graduated with excellent grades, and is now working in the field. And, as a reference, something like 5% of people who get degrees in the arts ever work in their chosen discipline, and that includes teaching.
Actually, I'm proud of all my kids, they're strong individuals, all different and all independent and focused.
"Huh, I can read?"
I haven't been a parent very long (only 5 years) but the proudest I've felt is when she started reading. My kindergartener went into the school year only able to read her name and a couple sight words (a, and, the), which is normal. Around the holidays, she picked up a flyer sitting on our kitchen table and started reading it out loud. My wife and I shot each other a glance like "Are you seeing this?" Pretty soon she read the whole thing (it was some Christmas party for kids, so nothing difficult). Then she did the cutest thing. She looked off in the distance and goes "Huh. I can read?" Then put the flyer down and galloped out of the kitchen. My wife and I laughed and hugged and had a mini celebration.
We just ran into her teacher last week at the store and she said "Your daughter is reading at a level E now, which is about a year ahead of schedule." We're so f*ckin' proud of that little monkey.
"He's got a huge heart..."
My son is 8 years old. He's got a huge heart and he's so thoughtful. One day my wife had some nursing friends over to study for an exam and he set all kinds of snacks out for them. Then he went outside with an umbrella when he heard one of the girls was close to the house and just waited. When she arrived, he met her at her car and escorted her in. We never asked him to do that. Later around lunchtime I was upstairs watching tv and he brought his lunch up with two forks and wanted to share with me. It was his favorite kind of food too that he doesn't get to eat very often. I told him several times throughout the day how proud of him I am and what a good man he will become. I'm tearing up just typing this lol.
"When my son turned two..."
When my son turned two, someone got him some plastic tools to play with. One day soon after, he found a loose screw on one of our kitchen chairs. I watched him go get his plastic screw driver and try to fix it. The over sized screwdriver didn't fit the screw of course. After about a minute, he dropped the toy and pulled a box over to the kitchen cabinet to stand on, opened the drawer and pulled out a real screwdriver. He then proceeded to use the screwdriver to take the loose screw out of the chair, brought it to me and said "Daddy fix it?"
"We talked for weeks..."
Almost four years ago now I got hooked up with a girl on a blind date/group night out kind of thing which went pretty well. I soon found out that she was a new mom and had a 3mo old son. All of my friends gave me a really hard time about it, said I was stupid etc, but I decided to see this girl again knowing full well that this little boy was part of the package.
We talked for weeks and I finally decided to invite her and her son over to my place for a night. The next morning I decided to let her sleep in and see if I could take care of the poor little guy, I even googled how to change diapers, I kid you not. First diaper change went ok, and he even pee'd on me to show his appreciation.
Now it's more than 3 years later and he will soon be 4. He calls me dad and I consider him my son. One day we were getting groceries and he was riding in the cart saying 'Hello!' to everyone, I was so embarrassed because I am usually very shy but I was so proud that he was friendly to everyone. Sometimes when we go to restaurants complete strangers will come up to us and compliment us on what a good kid he is.
"And I held back some tears..."Giphy
My brother got married for the second time last year -- and his new wife asked my 13 year old daughter to be one of her bridesmaids. So I went with her, my brother, and his fiancée to the mall to find her a dress.
When she stepped out of the dressing room, I couldn't believe it. This kid. This child who I'd diapered, dressed, sang to, read to, comforted, played games with, laughed with... she was a grown woman. I saw in her the woman she would become, and she was beautiful. And I held back some tears as I told her that she looked great.
Fifteen minutes after we leave the store inside the mall, I'm relating this story to my brother and soon-to-be sis-in-law, and talking about how grown up she is, how it's all come and gone, she'll never be a kid again, and all that. My brother points behind us, about 100 yards down the mall concourse.
My "grown up" daughter is trying desperately to shove her 5'11" body into one of the quarter-operated carousel cars made for toddlers.
You can only be young once, kiddo, but you can be immature forever.
"My daughter didn't want to go to bed..."
My son is 5 and my daughter is 3. They sleep in separate bedrooms next to each other. They used to share a room until recently, and have been adjusting. My daughter didn't want to go to bed and was whining a bit in her room. I was on my way to check on her and I saw my son sitting on the edge of her bed. He was holding her hand. He leaned down and hugged her and kissed her. He said "I know you have to sleep alone now and you're scared but I'm just right there. It will be morning soon" and he walked out. I was amazed at his compassion for her. Super proud.
"He's usually reserved..."
I took my 15 year old son to India. He's usually reserved, and doesn't adapt well to change so I was concerned about the culture shock. He stepped so far out of his own self and truly engaged himself in everything we were fortunate to experience there. It was truly watching a boy become a man, And realize he's probably going to turn out to be a pretty cool man.
"After a few nights of zero sleep..."
I've got so many proud moments that I can't really pick one.
Recently, I've been absolutely amazed at my oldest son (6) at the simple fact that he can read and write and use his math skills. Its nothing special or unique I'm just proud that he's growing into his own and can express his ideas in more ways than just verbally.
Another moment that sticks out is not so much of a proud one as a heart warming one for myself is that I go to school full time and work; in general I'm hellish busy. After a few nights of zero sleep, I let my kids know on the way home that I was probably going to be a bit cranky and that it wasn't them at all, I just needed a good night of sleep. Well, when we got home the kids went into my younger son's room and I sat on the sofa to do more homework.
They were being awfully quiet and I was grateful. After a bit longer, My 5 year old came out asking for the vacuum. Now I'm curious, so I go to see what they were doing. They had cleaned their rooms. And I mean CLEANED. Shelves were dusted, toys organized- everything! They had also tidied up my room and made my bed! The next morning was Saturday and I slept in, when I woke up, I went to make coffee and realized that they even did the dishes for me :)
Considering at the ages 5 and 6, kids are so incredibly self absorbed- hell even as an adult I am, but this was so wonderfully sweet.
"The other day..."
The other day as I'm waiting outside the classroom to drop my daughter off at preschool we were looking at all the artwork from her class. Each kid has a picture on their assignment that matches the first letter of their first name. Tommy might have a turtle as his picture, for example. Over the course of the year, they dropped their names from their assignments and only left the picture in an effort to get the kids to associate pictures and letters.
In front of all the parents standing there, with only the pictures to go on, my daughter named every one of the kids' artworks by their name from memory of what their picture is. All the parents' mouths were agape.
"This is when a child becomes an adult..."
The moment when I was most proud of my children is when each of them chose to take responsibility for their actions and their lives.
This is when a child becomes an adult and many people never seem to cross this barrier. My children have done lots of other things that made me proud, but them choosing to be adults is definitely when I felt most proud of them.
"The older guy confronted my son..."
My son was 14 and playing (field) hockey for a men's team. It was getting heated and my son had run rings around one of the older guys.
The older guy confronted my son and said "You're a right little wanker aren't you?"
My son's response?
"Have you been watching?"
"She was at the church..."
I'm not sure this counts, but I have an objectively cute baby who smiles a lot. She brings a lot of joy to strangers. Once I was in my church building and this elderly lady who didn't speak English well saw Baby Girl and came over to say hi. Baby Girl smiled like she does and this lady just broke down. She was at the church getting financial support and counseling for some hard stuff she had been going through (I gathered) and she kept calling my baby her angel. She was crying and smiling and took a picture of herself holding the baby and had me take a picture with my phone of her holding the baby and so on for like twenty minutes. I get that Baby Girl was just doing like she always do, but I was so proud that she had brought happiness into the life of someone going through a hard time.
It occurs to me that this is probably how owners of therapy dogs feel.
"He farted himself awake..."
He farted himself awake at the age of 2.
I knew then that he was truly my son.
Sometimes friendships don't last forever. Especially when they exist within a big group of friends--that's when things can get messy, especially when you're young. Eventually, you grow up and realize that the drama just isn't worth it, and part ways.
This seems to be a universal experience. 606hound asked:
Why did your friend group break up?
This phenomenon seems to happen the most after high school. It can be tragic, but sometimes it just doesn’t make sense to be friends anymore.
It’s a lot of work to stay in touch as adults.
“Time and distance means both parties have to work at it to keep it going. There are a lot of people I thought I'd remain friends with all my life who are now people I will always remain in contact with, and if they ever want to try and reconnect, my door is open, and I hope the same offer is open to me should I want to reach out.
I think there's also something to the idea that what made us friends back then isn't who we are today. The friends I am still friends with from my high school days or my university days or my first job days have grown up with me and like me for who I am now, not who I was when we first met, and vice versa. There are people I stay in touch with for the sake of shared history who I am confident we will never make new memories together. That's okay. I care about them to the extent that I like to know they're doing okay, and that's enough for both of us.”
It’s best to avoid people like this.Tim And Eric Smile GIFGiphy
“It was three of us and we were inseparable back in high school. Then, when the girl I was crushing on started hanging out with us more, one of my friends started acting different. At first, he was going out of his way to look good in front of her and like a really good/funny guy. It was annoying. Then it moved to him lying to me and talking sh*t about me to her and other people. And finally, he started to flirt her under the thinly veiled excuse of "wrestling."
A dozen talks and all of them ending in him threatening suicide later, I told him to f*ck off and broke it off."
Gotta grow up at some point.
“Everyone was really fun as a group for the first couple years, but as we got older some grew up and others didn't. Which led to some people doing some sh*tty things to others in the group that brought on some fights and arguments which eventually split everyone up.
There are a few members of the group that I stay in contact with but we will likely never hang out as a group again.”
They had to learn their lesson twice with these folks.
“Girl A told girl B that this boy was cheating on B. B called A a liar and physically fought her. All my friends took different sides. I remained neutral like Switzerland. I am now the one with no friends since those backing A were angry I was still talking to those backing B and viceversa.
Edit for answers:
- The guy was cheating but made B think she was crazy for believing A. He was abusive and toxic. They are still together 15 years down the line and have 2 children.
- I sort of took A's side as she was right but my best friend (C) took B's side. A had no problem with me talking to B and the ones on her side. My then best friend C got jealous I was also talking to A and got the girls on A's side to stop talking to A.
- Whole group rekindled about a year later, apologies were exchanged. B never joined any plan as the guy didn't want her to see her friends.
- When me and A started uni (we were the only two from the group that went to university) everyone stopped calling us as we were broke students and didn't have money for clubbing. We tried to organise free plans but no one was interested.
Lost the same group twice. Better off without them. Girl A is still my best friend.”
Unfortunately, there are common traits between people in a friendship that one might outgrow, like partying, drugs, or other reckless activities.
Drugs can tear apart any relationship.comedy central GIF by The Jim Jefferies ShowGiphy
Steve always had a coke problem and so did Shane. Then I got one and it was bad. All the girlfriends blamed Steve and Shane for what happened to me as they introduced me to it.
Then Steve got too coked out while I was at rehab and beat the sh*t out of Shane.
I still talk to Shane occasionally hoping he's ready to quit drinking but the rest of them are long gone.
Growing up means losing friends.
“I think most of my group still hangs out. But over the last five years, I've just stopped talking to them.
I used to be a huge partier, but had a major health event that has effectively ended it. I no longer drink or do hard drugs.
I just lost interest with them since it all revolved around getting messed up. I used to go out maybe a few times a year, but after the social distancing this past year, I lost touch even more. On top of that, my longest friend unexpectedly died due to drugs earlier this year. I'm glad I got out when I did because I was on track for the same fate.
On top of that, I stopped doing Facebook and that has contributed as well. I recently saw they all got together for some 100 days celebration of my friend dying but nobody invited me and I found out after the fact.
Sometimes you just grow up and leave it behind."
All went in different directions.
“I was part of a group of 6 that hung out the summer after high school graduation. This is what happened.
One liked drugs.
One became a cop.
One got sent to jail.
One moved to Oregon.
One is still getting his Masters.
I'm just working.
I still hang out with the guy getting his masters and the guy from Oregon will come back home sometimes.”
Sometimes we just outgrow people. It’s a part of becoming an adult.
Don’t bang your band mates.band jamming GIFGiphy
“Not as much as a friend group, but a band. I was in a pop punk band in high school, and we were together for about 2 years just playing local shows and sucking at writing songs together.
My junior year, I (vocals) started dating the guitar player. Turns out, the bassist and the keyboard player also both had the hots for me. Bassist and Keyboard player dipped, other guitar guy and drummer awkwardly backed out, and me and girlfriend/guitar player did acoustic covers together for another year and a half before she cheated on me and we broke up.
Moral of the story, don't bang your bandmates.”
“Some friends had very clear mental health issues. One decided to lash out and cut contact for seemingly no reason, another just straight up ghosted everyone and we never found out why.
One of my good buddies from highschool has problems with alcohol and also wants to be a cop despite being racist and sexist. He made a sexual comment to my wife while blacked out and refused to take responsibility. Another friend freaked out months later screaming at us for daring to hold him to account and said a bunch of awful things, we haven't heard from her since.
Growing up f*cking sucks sometimes.”
Something I wish I learned when I was younger was that if a friendship is toxic, it’s more than ok to let them go. It’s no use clinging to people who don’t value you, or are just plain problematic. You’re allowed to leave.
It’s honestly better to just have a few close friends anyway. Friend groups are too dramatic.
What is it about "Dad Jokes" that's grown in popularity as of late?
Reddit user, u/20davidtocommandcode, wanted to get a good chuckle when they asked:
Fathers of reddit, what is you're favorite dad joke?
The simplicity, and quick, "Ohh, I get it," nature of a well-formed Dad Joke is what makes them special. Take notes, add them to your phone, and make sure you have these in your back pocket to bust out at any time.
"Puts car in reverse gear"
"Wow, this really takes me back."
Raining Medical Jokes
"Dogs can't operate MRI machines."
Duh. It's Science.
"Which animals can jump higher than the Eiffel tower?"
"All of them, the Eiffel tower can't jump."
Say It Out Loud...
"Have you heard of Murphy's Law? It is "Anything that can wrong will go wrong"
"How about Cole's Law?"
"It is thinly sliced cabbage with a creamy dressing."
No Relish, Though.
"A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog cart, says: "Make me one with everything."
Watches, Chocolate, Jokes, They Can Do It All
"What's the best thing about Switzerland?"
"Well, its flag is a big plus…"
They Wanted To Wipe Their Slate Clean
"Did you hear about the criminal who stole all the toilets from the police station?"
"He didn't leave any evidence. Poor cops have nothing to go on."
Please Pick Up Your Amphibian At The Nearest Lot
"What do you call an illegally parked frog?"
That's An Academy Award Winning Joke, Right There
"Did you hear about that actor that got stabbed? Reece something...."
"No, with a knife."
So really, what is it about dad jokes that tickles us so much? For some, it might have something to do with connecting the person who told them it in the first place.
It's The Long Pause. That'll Seal The Deal.
"The only time I remember my dad making a pun.
He planted vegetables in a small plot in our suburban backyard.
I asked what he planted.
"Summer squash," he said.
"And some aren't."
One of my favorite memories."
Shut. Up. Filled With Love.
"When I was a kid I was riding in the car with my Dad and the gum I was chewing tasted like bananas, but it wasn't banana flavor. So I asked my Dad "Why does this gum taste like bananas?"
"He turned to me and pretending I was telling a joke said "I don't know, why?" So I responded with "Shut up." and he said "That joke isn't very funny.". Then we both laughed."
"It became a running joke through his life, he would ask some random question and when I responded with "I don't know" he would tell me to shut up. And we would laugh."
"I miss him every day and that joke still makes me laugh."
Comforting Dad Pranks
"Not really a dad joke, but I told my grandsons that my new car's back window wiper was voice activated on rainy/snowy days. We picked them up from school for a long time (pre-covid.) They get in the car on a rainy day and I'll hear "ON!" from one of them (I turn on the wiper) and the other will shout "OFF!!" (I turn it off...) this goes on all the way home and I started it back in 2018!"
Forging Memories To Last Forever
"I just did the 'ol "Hi hungry, I'm dad" joke to my son for the very first time ever a couple weeks ago, been waiting so long to pull that one! Definitely my favorite!"
"What was your son's reaction[?]"
"He actually laughed! I thought he might be slightly too young to get the joke, but he's pretty quick witted for 3-1/2 years old!"
Now get cracking with the laughing.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Truth is stranger than fiction – which is why documentaries are so fascinating to watch.
Even some fictional movies are stories derived from real-life events or people, past or present.
In my humble opinion, Michael Moore makes excellent documentaries about social injustices and he fearlessly reveals the cracks and corruption within our government.
But some topics are meant to be explored beyond the two-hour-plus running time in movies. Which is why Netflix brought Tiger King as a docuseries, and it left audiences completely dumbfounded.
"What is the most insane documentary you've ever seen?"
People with unstable minds do the unthinkable, and our eyes are glued to the screen.
The Tragedy Of Timothy Treadwell
"Grizzly Man by Werner Herzog. It's a documentary about Timothy Treadwell, an environmentalist who spent 13 summers in Alaska camping out with grizzly bears and eventually gets eaten along with his girlfriend. And it was caught on tape, because he filmed everything. Dude was clearly not all there, just a sad story, but fascinating."
Devils In Our Midst
"Evil Genius. It's about the aftermath of a bank robbery in which the bank robber was a captive who had a bomb collar strapped to their neck. It's definitely one hell of a watch."
"There's an excellent documentary on an incident during the Troubles in Northern Ireland called 'No Stone Unturned'. It's an investigative journalism piece about British forces' collusion and coverup of the 1994 Loughinisland Massacre, when six people in a bar watching Ireland play in the World Cup were murdered by masked paramilitary gunmen with assault rifles."
"The methodical, step-by-step investigation and laying out of the (very incriminating!) evidence makes for a truly fascinating watch. Two of the filmmakers were later arrested by the PSNI and then released."
"Not an easy watch, but highly recommend it."
These are apparently psychologically riveting.
Leaving The Past In The Past
"Tell me who I am was the most heartbreaking documentary I've ever seen. It's about these twin brothers and one of them gets into a bad motorcycle accident when he was 18 and doesn't remember anything from before. His brother has to decide whether to tell him everything or let him live in ignorant bliss."
"It's the story of this kid who went missing when he was 12 or 13 and then reappeared something like 10 years later. It documents him getting back to and reuniting with his family. But get this: it wasn't the actual missing kid, but instead a French scam artist who did this sh*t serially."
"Now what makes the doc crazy is the story is told with interviews from the family and the f'king scam artist. He obviously a sociopath so he just calmy explains his motives and justifications for getting this poor family's hopes up. There's footage of all this as well as reenactments with the guy. It's super creepy."
"I haven't seen too many but so far Dear Zachary."
"On top of being one of the saddest movies I've ever seen, that reveal was immensely f'ked up. Not to mention f'king terrifying with all that red light and screaming sounds."
And these films are considered completely wackadoodle.
Kink Takes A Turn
"Tickled. Thought it was going to be just a fun and weird look at a goofy sport but it was so disturbing and wild."
Deadly Amusement Park
"Class Action Park. It's about this old amusement park in New Jersey called Action Park that had an insane number of injuries. Former employees and guests talk about each ride and what made it fun and unsafe. There are animations of people getting hurt so those parts aren't too hard to watch. It also includes interviews about a specific fatality so I do want to make that clear as a trigger warning. But mostly it's a fascinating look at how kids grew up in the 80's and 90's and whether that was the best thing. There's a lot of nostalgia but I don't think anyone wants their kid to be the one who's fatally electrocuted on a kayak ride."
"The McDonald's monopoly scam documentary, McMillion$. I'd never heard of it before, so it was really interesting and pretty insane."
Good Time Country
"The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia! Produced by Johnny Knoxville, it's about backwoods toe-dancer Jeaco White and his hillbilly family. Wildly entertaining - seen it 4 times."
"I watched one about fyre festival."
"The sh*t that went down was insane."
"Internet historian does a good take on things."
One docuseries that stayed with me was Don't F**k With Cats.
It was a Netflix doc about how amateur sleuths of the internet managed to lead a manhunt looking for Canadian pornographic actor, Luka Magnotta – whose penchant for torturing cute kittens for fun and posting his cruel acts on social media led him to murder Chinese international student, Jun Lin.
At the end of the series, I didn't know what I just saw and it took a while to process the absolutely bonkers turn of events.
And it's not for the faint of heart to watch.
Whether the person delivering the remark is joking or dead serious and miserable, chances are that we'll be insulted plenty of times in our lives.
And the worst thing that can happen is to freeze.
Nobody wants to be a dear in the headlights when someone decided to bully them. Instead, it's best to be prepared.
A recent Reddit thread asked people to pool their best comebacks to insults they could come up with. Thanks to them, we can walk around stocked with some return fire on the occasion we do fall prey to a person's put downs.
Redditor Concert-Extra asked:
"What is your go-to comeback when insulted?"
Of course, there were plenty of witty one-liners proposed. The hope here is that wittiness of the comeback trumps the intelligence level of the insult that provoked it.
It's all math.
" 'I've been called worse by better men' " -- Atbunyar
"Stealing that, thanks" -- GSavvage
Saying It Without Saying It
"Let's play horse: I'll be the head and you be yourself."
"If they say 'fu** you.' I say 'not even if you paid me.' "
"I say, 'I'm not that desperate, and you're not that lucky...' " -- webjocky
"If the insult is funny / good, laugh with them. If it's bad, laugh at them, and just go 'you know what buddy, we'll give you another crack at that one if you'd like.' "
Others advocated against getting into the weeds with a counter-insult. Instead, they advised a response that, above all, thrived on its absurdity to leave the insulter as puzzled as possible.
"Complete silence… let the uncomfortable sizzle and sink in. It's debilitating to the ego." -- LivingBeneficial3814
"That's what I do. Insults only have validity if the issuer thinks it worked." -- trenchfootflyfisher
Annoy, Annoy, Annoy
"Ask them to repeat themselves. Then do it again." -- Global-Ad404
"This is the best one because a good insult relies on timing. Having them repeat it makes it sound dumb and mean." -- Elephinker
"i just say 'and then?' and i keep saying it after every insult until they run out of insults." -- snodnif
"and theeeeeeeeeeeeeen?" -- Ninkaso
Finally, some advocated the "kill them with kindness" approach.
Opening Things Up
"When somebody is insulting me without any purpose, I just tell them 'bad day, huh?' "
"I swear, 90% of the people almost immediately calm down and even apologise to me, beacuse they seriously had a bad day and they just had too much bad energy without a way to let it go."
"There's no need to fight back, sometimes we need a good approach to end the argument and calm down the attacker."
"You doing alright, bud?" -- 7788445511220011
"Oooo the condescending use of 'bud.' Nice touch." -- Kuli24
"noooooooo not the BUD!!!! he's to evil to be left alive" -- Kbirt24
Wind Out of the Sails
"I don't get insulted often but the odd chance when it happens I say 'God Bless You' It either enrages them or they look confused for some reason."
Here's to you leaving here with 10 comebacks in your back pocket.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.