Listen, kids are the literal best thing to happen to the world - as long as you aren't a fan of order or tidiness, literally or metaphorically speaking. As long as you embrace children as the beautiful agents of chaos that they are, you're good to go.
Not sure what I mean? You're about to be. Imagine you're at work, in your groove and you get a phone call saying you need to come pick up your child. Most of you imagined your kid being sick - but take it from these next few folks, you never actually know. They could be sick, they could have accidentally made a weapon while trying to take candy to a friend.
Reddit user OriginalSofaSoldier asked:
I'm telling you guys, skilled agents of chaos. So skilled. Here are some of the more popular answers, edited for language or clarity as needed.
The Reddest FaceGiphy
I got a phone call earlier this year from the school nurse, saying she was concerned because my son had passed out while in the lunch line. I went to pick him up and he seemed a little dazed, but ok. My kid couldn't remember anything about what happened beforehand, so I made an appointment with his pediatrician for an hour later.
Right as we were getting ready to leave, he sheepishly said "mom, I just remembered that right before I passed out, we were playing a game to see who could turn their face the reddest."
So, my kid had me thinking he had a brain tumor but no, he just held his breath until he passed out, and not a single other kid thought they should mention that to the teacher.
S's and F's
My youngest had a slight speech impediment when he was at nursery, he would replace his S's with F's to approximate the sound. I had to have a chat with the Head at pick up time because I'd unthinkingly used the phrase 'so long suckers' when pulling away from some traffic lights the day before and he liked the sound of it so much he used it himself.
I was in an early morning college class and when I got out I realized I had missed calls, texts, and emails from my daughter's preschool. A voicemail said she had been throwing up and to please hurry and come get her. When I got to the school the receptionist showed me to a room where my daughter was sat with a trashcan on her lap. She told me my daughter kept announcing she was throwing up and then would cough and spit into the trashcan. She had no fever and was otherwise cheerful and talkative. I signed her out, got her outside and into my car where she jumped forward and kissed my cheek and told me she missed me and where would I like to go for lunch. That kid busted herself out of preschool to finagle a lunch date with me. It worked.
Not In Class
I got a call that my son was sick and that I had to come pick him up. He was completely fine that morning. I asked the nurse, "he really can't go back to class?" and she said, "he says he's really sick." Fine.
I picked him up and on the walk home I asked what was up. He said he had to fart really badly and didn't want to do it in class. I laughed and said ok.
Two days later I get another call to pick him up. So I got him and it was for the same reason. I told him that it was funny once but that from now on, if he needed to fart in class, he should go to the bathroom lol.
Giving Forgery A Whirl
I was called in because the elementary school was going on a field that my son forgot to give me the permission slip for. He decided to give forgery a whirl. This was in first grade so the handwriting was awful. He also signed my name "Mom."
My mother was called to pick me and my twin sister up because we were turning blue. I think it was 4th grade. We felt fine though. It was only after she arrived that we all remembered she had put brand-new blue flannel sheets on our bed the night before.. apparently she hadn't washed them first.
I was the child, in sixth grade (I was 12). I was in my emo phase and was wearing a lot of black eye shadow from Claire's. I guess I wasn't so good at my makeup yet because they called my mom into the office to discuss my injuries and who was "hurting me"
Pardon My French
That was in elementary school, early years. The principal called us and looked at us with a stern look of disapproval while telling us our son was using bad language. I then proceeded to explain to her that my wife and I only spoke French at home and we did not have television. The only English our son had ever heard was at school, so I asked her what she was going to do about it. It was one of the shortest conversations I ever had with a principal.
When my daughter was in 2nd or 3rd grade, i got a call about a present she had brought to school. So, the night before, she asked to go to the store to buy some Rolos because it was her friends birthday. She wrapped them up, and put them in her back pack. I never saw her finish them up or i would have stopped her. She had wrapped each rolo in red paper, bundled a few together, put little black pipe cleaner fuses on them, and attached a note that said "your da bomb". The school was not amused. I thought it was very clever though. There were no repercussions thankfully.
Nephew is staying with me for 2 months ,I showed him Dexter's Laboratory for the first time, next day they call me to pick him up because he would only say "Omelette du Fromage" to any interaction
Those of us who are conscientious about our finances try to avoid spending money on things we don't necessarily need.
Paying for indulgences is considered a luxury for those of us who keep a tight budget. However, we make random exceptions.
Sometimes, we end up spending a lot of money on something we don't need per see, but we end up having absolute no regrets.
So what could these purchases be?
That's what Redditor LittleGodess777 wanted to know and asked strangers online:
"What was the highest waste of money that you don't regret?"
Going to remote destinations gave these Redditors the ultimate customer satisfaction.
"Just shy of $20,000 to go to Antarctica travelling solo (small cruise ship). More than I've spent on every other vacation I've taken combined."
"Was one of the best trips of my life. It also gave me enough space and clarity to realize how toxic my ex was to me so that I could find the strength to leave not long after I got back."
"I'll always want to go back to Antarctica. The inner peace I found there changed my life."
Quality Time With A Daughter
"A quick 7 day trip to Maui in February a couple years ago with one of my teenage daughters, who happened to be free the same week I had off. Work was grinding me down and I needed a break."
"My wife and the rest of the family couldn't go, they were working or in school. The tickets were expensive, $850 each for bare-bones economy narrow rock hard seats, it was a 12 hour flight that was packed to the brim - I was getting bedsores by the time we arrived."
"We rented snorkeling gear and a car, and spent every day from dawn to dusk snorkeling, sitting on the beaches and hiking in the mountains; we did the Hana road, the Seven Sacred Pools and the Haleakalā volcano national park at sunset, and took tons of photos. We ate spam musubi for breakfast, poke and somen noodles for lunch and loco moko for supper. Slept like babies with the windows open wide in the cool nighttime breezes."
"The best way to blow $5,000 EVER. So much what I needed at that point in my life."
Some experiences are totally worth the investment.
Grandpa At The Concert
"My grandfather absolutely loves the Beatles. He listens to their music every day. He doesn't speak English, but he always tries his best to sing along. It's so endearing. I had heard that Paul McCartney was coming to town for a concert. When I checked the ticket availability, there were only a few left and they were quite pricey."
"Especially for me, a high school student at the time. But I was determined to get him a ticket. And I did! I decided to present the ticket to him on my birthday since the concert would be just a few days afterwards. When I gave my grandfather the ticket, he had broken into tears and hugged me so hard. I had never seen him so happy."
"The smile didn't leave his face for the rest of the day. Leading up to the concert, he would talk to everyone about how he was going to see Paul McCartney and that he had the most thoughtful granddaughter in the world. :')"
"I went to a Renaissance Fair with my husband and some friends. It was his first time, and he’s a pretty introverted person, so while he has fun watching everyone else dress up and act all goofy and old-timey, he doesn’t really participate. When we went to buy our first beer, the wench tried to sell him on one of those big mugs that looks like it’s carved out of wood but it’s just plastic. It cost $100. Yes, you get free refills, but we were not planning on drinking $100 worth of beer that day. I could tell by the look on his face that he wanted it- he looked like a little kid at Disney World. Without thinking, I whipped out my credit card and dropped $100 on a sh**ty plastic mug."
"All day, he walked around proudly with his mug. He even took some big gulps and cheered 'huzzah' once or twice. This might not seem like much but for my quiet, gentle giant, it is huge. I manage the finances in our relationship and I am CONSTANTLY cracking down on wasteful spending, so I think we were both amazed I made such a dumb purchase. Four years later, we still have that mug. He gets a big grin every time he sees it and teases me about my irresponsible impulse. And every time I see it, I just think about how much I love that big galoot..."
Who says buying things can't make you happy?
Best Living Investment
"I spent $300 on a mule. An actual living, 4 hooved, long-eared mule. We raise cattle, so a protection mule was a good excuse. But, really, I just fell in love with him. He's huge and sassy. He'll steal your hat and run away. He's got a Ninja mode where he can sneak up on you, just to breathe down your neck or startle you. He does keep the coyotes away. However, he has proved himself priceless because he eats thistle."
"When we got the lease on the land for our cattle the pastures had been neglected and were in bad shape. Thistle is a spiky plant that spreads across the pasture, choking out grasses. Cow's won't eat it. It's really hard to get rid of. To our surprise, the mule cleared out nearly all the thistle in a matter of months. He would eat the flowers out of the center. He saved us an enormous amount of money and labor. We were able to avoid using chemical weed killers, which we really didn't want to do. Probably the best investment in our whole cattle raising experience."
"My Litter Robot."
"Yes, I spent $600 on a cat sh**ter, but my house never smells, I don't have to scoop litter, and I only have to empty the drawer once a week. Definitely worth it to me."
"My fiancé and I dropped close to three grand on a kitchen table and coffee table from Carolina Game Tables. The kind where you can take the top off and have a board game space underneath. They’re comparatively plain compared to some you see online, no lights or USB ports, no cubbies, drawers or cup holders. Just really solidly build solid wood tables where the top comes off. But hot damn they’ve been awesome!! We use them all the time. One unexpected use was legos. I got a Lego set and started building it on the coffee table and when I needed to stop for the night I just put the lid on until I was ready to continue."
"Don’t regret a cent."
A Healthy Companion
"I spent too much money on a big treadmill for a very small apartment. But I've ran 15-25 km on it every week for the past several years and it's been incredibly helpful both physically and mentally."
Art Of Happiness
"Art work. Can I always afford it, no. But my walls are full of orginal, 90% local art. They make me happy to look at, I'm sure I made the artist happy too."
Basic Cozy Comfort
"My Couch. I moved out of my moms house last year (2019 so no covid) and I always wanted a good couch. I tested so much. I went to so many funiture stores. Looked at so many different models. And then choose mine. Its actually from Ikea. Three seats and long enough to let someone sleep on it. In a grey but I saw they were also having a black cover so I am thinking about getting that one. Extremely comftable. I wanted a couch where you could chill out and love how fluffy it is without losing the ability to sit on it. In some couches you are not able to lean on the back and still have a straight back. You can sit on the back board and the armrests. They are flat so you can also put a cup of tea on them. Its also not too low so you dont feel like sitting on the ground (which I do strangely often compared to my love for this couch) but you can let yourself fall onto that damn thing! It also looks easy and simple."
"So I dont want the suggestion of someone who tried a LOT of couches and happens to be me then buy the Vimle couch from Ikea."
Early this year, I decided to take a trip to London.
I've been to Paris, Tokyo, Buenos Aires, Rio de Janeiro, Venice, Rome, Athens, Copenhagen, and most major cities in the US but never have I ever been to London.
I've always wanted to go but there was never the right time.
When I realized that life is short and that I don't want to miss out on treating myself to delayed experiences, I made the time to go and embark on my sojourn.
The trip wasn't a part of my annual budget, but the memory I made from that incredible travel experience catching up with friends who live there, seeing my first West End show, and taking in the historical and landmark sites are all life-enriching experiences I'll never forget.
Within reason, if you have a bucket list destination under your "someday" list, make it a "now" list. Because tomorrow is never a guarantee.
We all have movies which we can watch over and over again.
Even if they're thrillers with a twist you never saw coming, or a comedy with jokes you've heard over and over again, some movies are so captivating or comforting, that they have endless rewatchability.
Then there are the movies we never want to see ever again.
And not because they were awful, far from it, these might be found on the list of some of the greatest movies ever made.
But rather, movies which took us on such an emotional journey, that we simply couldn't put ourselves through it again.
"What movie is so good you'd recommend it to all your friends, but so emotionally traumatic that you'll never watch it again?"
Just Too Real
"The 2003 Gus Van Sant film, not the Disney nature doc."
"It takes place in the fictional Watt High School, in the suburbs of Portland, Oregon, and chronicles the events surrounding a school shooting, based in part on the 1999 Columbine High School massacre."
"The film stars mostly new, and non-professional actors, which gives it an even greater sense of realism."- Horta
A True Story, Thus All The More Devastating
"'Hotel Rwanda' fits."- Wallstreet-beer-guy
A Must See, But Just The One Time
"'Come And See'."
"Wonderful movie, but even more devastating than 'Grave of the Fireflies', in my opinion."- Mimameird
"I'll give the same answer every time this comes up: 'Mary and Max'." Reddit
A Different Type of Christmas Movie
"'The Hunt' (2012)."
"A Danish film by Thomas Vinterberg starring Mads Mikkelsen."- lfctfcoi
A Warning We Hate Being Reminded Of
"Made in 1984, it's a harrowing depiction of a major nuclear exchange between the United States and the Soviet Union."
"It is incredibly bleak and tragic."
"The most effective representation of the horrors of nuclear war that I've ever seen."
"Everyone should watch it once, in my opinion."
"But no one needs to see it twice."- Scaphismus
But All Viewers Will
"'Boys Don't Cry'."
"It made me depressed for days."- IrianJaya
Young Leo At His Most Heartbreaking
"What's Eating Gilbert Grape."- photogeek8
Just Try Sleeping Afterwards...
"1978, truly the most effective psychological horror film I have ever seen."- gaccha_antiquechair
A Journey Worth Taking, Just The One Time...
"Watched it when it first came out'"
"Can’t put myself through it again though."
"It’s so hard going and heartbreaking."-Reddit
There is something remarkable about movies that can so easily elicit an emotional reaction.
Leaving us grateful to have seen it.
And making us even more grateful to go on The Holiday with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz for the 2,700th time to lighten our spirits afterward.
Every now and again, when we go out shopping or treat ourselves to a nice meal at a restaurant, we can't help but find our jaws drop when we notice a price tag.
Sometimes, we might force ourselves to admit that the main course, cashmere sweater, or advanced cooking product was worth every penny.
More often than not, though, we find ourselves wondering if the item in question is, indeed, worth its exorbitant cost.
The answer almost always being no.
Redditor Thic_water was curious to hear the most overpriced clothes, food or merchandise anyone has ever come across, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most overpriced thing you’ve seen?"
How much would the upgrade cost?...
"When I was in Dubai 2 years ago there was a cell phone store in the mall that sold phones that ranged from $30k -$120k."
"They were basically phones covered in diamonds and gold."
"That's $100k for something that is probably already obsolete."- holla09
A Cauliflower By Any Other Name...
"A couple of years ago, Mark's and Spencer Food, a high end supermarket in the UK, tried selling 'Cauliflower Steak' which was a thick slice of cauliflower for £2.50."
"It was covered in plastic."
"You could literally buy a whole cauliflower in the same row a bit further down for 40p."
"They were crucified for it, it was hilarious."- patchyj
"Oh, Canada" Indeed...
"$800,000 for a 500 square foot 'condo' in Toronto."- B-416
"Cell phone plans in Canada."- Unending_beginningsFlag Celebrate GIF by sendwishonline.comGiphy
An Ironic Miscalculation...
"I remember seeing a basic scientific calculator for like $300."- Saper-Ja-
"I swear, people sell oddly-shaped Cheetos for THOUSANDS."
"Literally THOUSANDS."- KipsyCakes
The Counters Better Glisten...
"I saw a small thing of Lysol wipes being sold for $22 in a store last week."- rickeysneekzzzSick Art GIF by Jimmy ArcaGiphy
All Right Then...
"A few years back Nordstrom was selling a rock in a leather pouch for $85."- Happy_Fun_Balll
Can You Say Outdated?
"I saw an external ZIP disk reader in the clearance bin of Wal-Mart for 10% off it's original price."
"So it was going for $180 and had parallel ports."
"in 2011."- AudibleNod
Will They, Though?
"In a downtown consignment shop, an oil painting of sheep grazing in a meadow had a price tag of $18,700."
"It was by an unrecognized artist."
"When asked why it was priced so high, the shopkeeper said 'because someone will like it and buy it'."justin timberlake GIFGiphy
Sometimes, people might price things stratospherically high in hopes that some might assume it must be of great value and pedigree.
But no matter where it's from, or what it's made of, a rock in a pouch is just that.
A rock in a pouch.
What other things would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
No matter the country, the law is a difficult beast.
Laws can change street by street.
So who knows if you're doing what's right?
But every civilian fancies themself an expert.
Guess what genius... we're wrong.
But on TV...
Redditor IfItQuackedLikeADuck wanted the legal eagles to share some truth.
So they asked:
"Lawyers, What's a law that isn't real that normal people insist exists?"
The law is tricky. So help us out.
We see you...mean girls amy GIFGiphy
"People that think it's illegal to be video taped in a public space."
"In the UK, people often claim that if an item is listed for sale in a shop then the shop legally has to sell it to you at that price. This is not true at all as the shop doesn't have to sell you anything at any price."
"Often as a gesture of goodwill shops will honour erroneous prices, but they are under absolutely no obligation to do so."
"Probate attorney here. I’ve had many people ask me when the 'reading of the will' is going to take place. I explain to them that only happens in movies. But one of these days I am going to have one, and hire a mysterious blonde wearing a veil to sit in the corner quietly."
"Then I’ll tell everyone that she inherits everything. Provided, of course, that she must adopt the decedent’s cute but troublemaking six year old child no one knew about. Or she can spend the night in a haunted house. Her choice."
"That commercial use of a photograph means selling the photograph."
"Commercial use means that there is an implied endorsement. You can take and sell photos of Eric Clapton all day long. Put that same photo in an advertisement for a certain guitar without a release and you can be sued."
Not true...Big Boi Smh GIF by OutkastGiphy
"An arrest isn't magically invalidated if the police don't read you your rights on the spot."
"There could be a whole thread of just misconceptions people have from watching Cop TV."
I knew Olivia Benson was lying.
$$$ TalksBugs Bunny Money GIF by Looney TunesGiphy
"In California, it's not illegal to discuss your wages with your co-workers, despite what your boss might say."
100 Feet Away
"Am a lawyer. This is not a law that doesn’t exist, but a law that is misunderstood. Typically, you can’t just go get a restraining order against anybody. Most states have specific laws for who you can get restraining orders against (typically household members or former romantic interests). Usually, it’s only in domestic violence cases or for victims of crimes. You can’t just get a restraining order and comically use it to keep someone 100 feet away."
"*in the United States, at least."
Damn you Sam
"'When my parents die, the government is going to seize a big chunk of the inheritance and I'll get nothing.'"
"In the US this is a very common misconception. Although state inheritance taxes vary, the US federal taxes on inheritance don't actually kick in until the estate's value exceeds US$5 million."
"So, for the vast majority of working class folks, the federal inheritance tax won't have any effect. But people will still talk to their family lawyers and ask about how much Uncle Sam is taking away when mom or dad die."
"It's a law that exists but widely misunderstood is the concept of Entrapment. If the police put a Bait vehicle in a high crime area, that is NOT entrapment. If the police are watching a bar known to overserve to see if there are impaired drivers at the end of the night that is NOT entrapment. Entrapment only occurs when a gov agent suggests committing a crime that you were not otherwise going to commit."
SecretsAngry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"A real, but widely misunderstood law is HIPAA. People think it protects you from literally any discussion of your health issues by anyone at all. Nope. Not even close."
I need a lawyer. NOW!
Do you have any misconceptions to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.