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Parents Share The Things Their Kids Are Trying And Failing To Hide From Them

Parents have been through it all before--something kids forget.

And they try so hard to start keeping their lives a secret....so so hard. But, they most often fail.

Why? Because, they haven't been through it before.


u/okaysobasically_ asked:

Parents of reddit: what are your kids currently attempting to hide from you?

Here were some of those answers.

Werkin Out

Giphy

I just found out that my six-year-old locks the bathroom door so he can get some privacy. Last night I looked across the kitchen to see the door slightly ajar and my son engaging in his private time.

Doing push-ups.

I didn't say anything, just watched him finish his 5 reps, flex in the mirror and then walk out of the bathroom.

crichins

Alexa Go Bye Bye

My two year old dropped our Echo dot and split into two pieces. She attempted to sandwich it back together and put it back where it was but now says stuff like "alexa play mickey mouse" and then when nothing happens she says "uh oh alexa what happen?" You know damn well what happen and it's HAPPENED.

throwawaybutnotrlly

The Ravioli Files

A few years ago, I was going through my son's (3rd grade) backpack and found a can of ravioli. That's all well, except I never bought any ravioli. When I asked him about it, he burst into tears and and pulled out a box under his bed filled with Ravioli! He then proceeded to tell me how this girl that picks on him and says they are married gives him ravioli everyday and makes him take it. I can just picture this girl's mother telling her the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Lael_Annaed

In Pursuit Of Creativity

My daughter is trying to impress me by learning origami. She's 7 and doesn't think that Dad can see all the missing paper and the (messily but improving a lot) paper cranes hidden throughout her room. I bought 2 more reams of paper and just left them out on accident. Lazy old dad not putting up his office supplies.

SleepyLinkOfficial

Taking Care Of Legalities

My 4 year old 'wrote' a letter she keeps in her bottom drawer. When me and my husband die she will come home and get it.

We're not allowed look at it or touch it but apparently it says that we gave her loads of money and she gave us loads of pictures.

I'm not sure what this says about her or us, but it will be interesting how long she keeps said letter. It's been a month so far.

IdlyBrowsing

Healthy Midnight Snacking

My kid would get up in the middle of the night and want a snack. He would sneak into the kitchen and eat a whole tomato except the little circle where it connected to the stem.

He hid the little stem circles under whatever was on top of the trash and would go to sleep.

We always made sure there were tomatoes for him.

chisleu

To Be Prepared

My nine year old step daughter was in her room one day for like hours with markers and papers. I thought she was drawing or making a picture book or something so I let it slide. It turns out she had our calendar and was making cards for everyone for every holiday and birthday coming up. I haven't asked her about it but I'm honestly super proud of her logic and long term planning abilities.

ApexBarber

Adulthood Comes Fast

He's 18. He will wait until we go to bed and then hop the back fence to go to 7 Eleven for a slurpee. After a couple of weeks of this we confronted him and told him:

  1. You're 18 so there is no curfew.
  2. Hopping fences looks like criminal activity and our neighborhood watch is on point.
  3. You have a driver's license so take the car.
  4. Don't act like you're fooling us. You're an adult now. Want a slurpee? Go get it. You have money.

Invisibility

My three year old thinks I don't know that she raids the snack cupboard when I'm out of the room (her face is usually full of chocolate after). She also thinks I can't see her when she covers her eyes, so sneaks around me thinking she's in stealth mode to get to something she shouldn't.

melanieavellano

Reluctant Fun

Giphy

My son (7) is hiding that he secretly loves forest school (summer club). Each day I pick him up, he moans that they don't do many activities, that it's terrible, no one wants to play with him and it isn't fun.

The photos posted on their social media say other wise, as well as the occasional slip ups when telling us stories around the dining table...

maryqueenofchocs


Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public

Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.

historical reenactors
Sigmund on Unsplash

We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.

History is riddled with moments of absurdity.

So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.

Keep reading...Show less