There are just somethings children never need to know, or at the very least they should be of a certain age to handle it. Secrets can destroy so it can often be the best choice to keep them buried. Eventually most secrets and lies find there way to the light though, so you should be ready. Sometimes parents just don't know how to say the words because there is no way that the truth will make sense.
Redditor u/thatdude595 wanted to hear some sordid details from parents out there by asking.... Parents of reddit, what is most f**ked up secret you are hiding from your children?
Too young to go...Giphy
A colleague of mine has a friend who hid from her 8-yo daughter that she (the 8-yo) would die within a few years because of a terminal illness she got. Schumacher94
Keep them safe from family....
That she can't have a relationship with her grandfather because he's a pedophile and I would never trust him. The rest of my family maintains a relationship with him and leans on me hard to open up communication because "family comes first." They are absolutely right, my family does come first, which is why my daughter won't ever have to have a relationship with him. extraordinarylove
My mom kept it a secret that the woman I was named after (her mom, my grandma) was stabbed to death by my uncle when my mom was 18. I always suspected my grandma had a tragic death because of how my mom would avoid talking about it, but I didn't know it was that tragic. sylcremo
Have you read "Flowers in the Attic?"
Adoptive parent of three kids two of which are biological siblings and cousins. Found out a year after the adoption that the biological parents were half siblings who shared the same dad. The bio parents found out after they had the first child and proceeded to have another. The kids are now 16 and 13 respectively and have zero clue that they are a product of incest. Unfortunately their biological grandpa just passed away, so there very well could be a big reveal coming in the near future. Tippett17
My wife and I each have a child from a previous marriage. Both of our ex-spouses were abusive cheaters. Both children still adore and idolize their other parent and we just keep smiling and nodding.
This probably isn't the type of thing OP was asking, but it is a secret that we will maintain for years. Pincipello
I was the kid in the scenario.
When I was like 12, my dad died of leukemia. He was never around much so I didn't see him often, but that was never the secret. I actually remember the day he took off and left us; woke up one morning and there was a pile of new toys on the living room floor with a note for mom.
Anyway, he started coming around when he received the prognosis. We developed something resembling a positive relationship before he died. When he passed it absolutely destroyed me. I still remember the funeral. I had to be dragged kicking and screaming out of the car because I didn't want to see it. In his will he left me his car - a Camaro, that I was supposed to get when I turned 16. His parents fought tooth and nail to keep it from me (they were really crappy people, his entire side of the family was), and we eventually just told them to f**k off and keep the damn thing.
Fast-forward about 15 years. I find out the guy that died was not actually my dad - he was my brother's dad. My real, biological dad has been living in the next town over, twenty minutes from my house, my entire life. My entire family knew about it, except for me. It was why my "grandparents" fought to keep the car - they knew I was not his son (I still don't know if HE knew or not, but I assume so).
My maternal grandmother has met him several times in my life. My mom said she never thought it was anything worth digging up. Said she intended for me to never find out.
I've still never spoken to him. I know a name and an approximation of where he lives (as of about ten years ago). Beyond that, I know jack about the guy. Grandma said if I ever want to meet him, she would help me contact him. Dunno if I ever will. supahfligh
My son is still very young, but I'm not planning to tell him his dad left us for meth and another woman (he's clean now and they actually split). He's at least involved again.
As long as his dad stays clean and wants to be involved then I don't plan on telling him. If it does come up I would like to give his dad the chance to explain everything, and I'll be there for any questions as well as support. My biological dad left us for heroin when I was a kid and I always thought it that he didn't want me; I don't ever want my son to feel that way. I harbor no ill will towards my ex and I truly hope that he does stay clean for his own sake and the kids (he has an older daughter with someone else). FlashyCleverUsername
Not so Merry Christmas....
Not a parent but a child. This last Christmas I found out that not only was my mom had already been previously married and divorced but my dad had a kid before he married my mom. So I have a half brother or sister that I have never met. The real kicker was I found it out from my new sister in law who had someone did some digging, found out, assumed that I must already know and brought it up out of the blue on Christmas Eve while we were baking cookies. Mels_Lemonade
A Simple Test....
When I was a teenager (I'm 22 now) I found out that when my mom had me my dad did not believe I was his kid. He even demanded a paternity test so he didn't have to pay child support on me because he really thought my mom had cheated on him during a business trip she went on. I don't know why but a paternity test was never done (or maybe it was and I've never been told) but it explained why I felt so distant with my dad for the first 10 years of my life. He always favored my older sister more when I was younger and called her "daddy's little girl" etc. I felt like he hated me and this explained why.
Today he's the best dad ever. I don't know if something shifted or what but me and him are extremely close now and he loves me endlessly. He's been such a great dad especially when I was suicidal in high school and had really bad depression and anxiety. My mom's a little bit bipolar so I've always been in a toxic household, and he was the only one to come and pick me up and just be there for me.
Also I look a lot like my dad, even get asked if me and my sister are twins all the time. So I think the whole paternity thing was just in spite of an ugly divorce. crystalizedwolf
Make way for Hollywood....Giphy
My dad has a second wife in a different country.
I got the news from my sibling who lives there, but little does my father know that my brother has told me. My mom doesn't know about my father's second wife. Not sure how this will play out in the future. I hope it really doesn't. The screen writer just forgot to finish this part of my film. catsticker
A Long Flight.
My daughter was conceived at work, on airport property, in the back of a Ford Focus, while we were waiting for a mediflight to land.
She knows nothing about this but tells me she wants to be a pilot when she grows up. Thr33wolfmoon
30 & Counting.
I'm the child of a parent that hid something horrible until I was 27: One day when my parents has a domestic dispute, my dad called me just to "get back at my mom" He said, "do you want to know something about your whore mother? She slept with over 30 guys during our first two years of marriage!" I just sat down and started stuttering. He said "you know how people have always said you looked different than the rest of the kids?" I said, "yeah..." "That's because I'm not your dad. Your mom slept with my best friend and you were conceived. Another thing! Your brother (the one just younger than me—I'm the oldest) belongs to my brother!" My mom just bawled in the background without denying it. I just laughed. And then I went into two years of therapy. helenkellerhere
Keep the Money.
It was a secret until recently my mom told me. When she and my dad got divorced, things were very, very messy, and my dad would do crappy things to dodge paying for my care. He ended up owing my mom a couple thousand dollars, and my mom was ready to sue. But instead of getting the lawyers involved, and because she knew my dad was not a healthy person to be in my life, she offered him a deal- keep the money, but relinquish custody officially. I'd still get to see him if and when I wanted, but he would give up all legal rights as a guardian. Because he hated paying my mom THAT MUCH, he took 2k over me. Not a life-changing earth shattering secret, it's just revealing to know my dad values money more than me.
Before anybody casts judgement on my mom, my dad was (and probably is) a piece of human garbage who abused me and allowed me to be abused a few years after this, so I'm 1000% fine with my mom's decision. She's my favorite person in the world and every single day I am so lucky to have her in my life. <3 effervescenthoopla
Mom is a Superhero!Giphy
My dad cheated on my mother while she was going through cancer treatments. My mother asked for a divorce, he said go and take the kids. Every Valentine's Day I would receive flowers from my dad and get so happy. My mom would smile and nod and get excited with me. I would call him and thank him. He never sent me flowers. It was my mom all the years. Same thing with birthday cards and Christmas gifts from him. They were never from him, my mom just put his name on them in similar handwriting. Went as far as writing return addresses on mail too. My mom was a superhero of a single parent. elsaanddonutss
It's Always the Milk Man.
My father found out when he was in his 40's that his father was not his biological father. His mother (my grandmother) literally cheated on her husband with the milk man. merrymordor
Auld Lang Syne.
That I've been changing every clock in the house on New Years eve to 3 hours early. At 9pm we celebrate the new year, then hang out for a hour. He thinks he breaking every rule and has a great time. Now that he's turning 11 this will never happen again. With phones and being somewhat smarter. Lol Kasket81
If you only knew....
I'm hiding a lot of things- I used to be a stripper for 10 years, growing up in an abusive house, I partied hard and used to be part of NYC & Montreal club scene, that I was kidnapped and taken to another country. There's a lot of things... Now I'm just a boring accountant mom to everyone. No one has any clue what I've been through. Crazy what your kids don't know about you. idontknowanything469
I'm the child. I recently found out about the murder suicide attempt my great grandmother tried to commit on her family. Her daughter (my grandmother) survived the attack and some years later moved to Canada as a teen and eventually got married and had my dad. Pretty haunting. t-swap12
Men a Work.Giphy
That we weren't actually visiting daddy at 'his work,' its a secure psychiatric ward where he's been since she was 3 months old. katiesaid
The Truth Will Out!
I'm the child (48 f), but my father told me my mother was dead all throughout my childhood and everyone in the family - aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, stepmother - supported the lie. Not because my mother was on drugs or abusive, or a criminal, or even a bad person. Just because they had a huge argument one night and she went to stay with a friend, without me, so he decided she would never be allowed to be in my life again. Ever. He wrote her off. On my 18th birthday, she called our house and asked to speak with me. So, I found out the truth. curiosity0425