People Reveal What They'll Avoid Doing To Their Children That Their Parents Did To Them
There's no official guidebook to parenting and everyone makes mistakes, but some people carry the scars for life and promise to do better with their own kids. The challenge is not turning into your parents, when you become a parent.
keep-thinking-bud asked: [Serious] What did your parents do to you that you vowed to never do to your children?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Snoop through their stuff. My mom would do it any time she had a suspicion I was hiding something or lying to her, which wound up being pretty often, because I never told her anything about my life knowing she would do things like that either way.
There were so many times I'd wake up in the middle of the night and hear my mom digging through my backpack or flipping through notebooks. Nothing pissed me off more than getting interrogated at 2 AM over why I had a hall pass from my math teacher on the 23rd crumpled at the bottom of my bag, or why I had an assignment with half the answers blank.
I was a good kid that didn't do anything besides go to school and come home, so I don't know why she had it in her head that I was hiding so much stuff.
She did it once when I was still living with my parents during college; I left my back pack at home on a day I didn't have class and was going to work, and she found some things she wasn't thrilled about while I was gone. It ended with our whole household not speaking to each other for close to a month.
9. Negative reenforcement.
My parents, up until I graduated high school, would call me a "disappointment," and compare me to others, even though I got into a good college and didn't misbehave. If I were to have kids, there's no way in hell I'd be calling them a disappointment and comparing them to other kids. That sh*t can be damaging.
Edit: I'm realizing majority who have this issue are Asian. I thought every kid raised by immigrant parents went through this oof. I'm guessing my Latina ass just got lucky with having strict ass parents.
Same, until I got into a good class at high school my mum would compare me to my friends about how they we're better at math. this did push me but still, I felt like a piece of crap whenever she compared me. I know how it feels.
My father often told me that if I were his only child he'd have killed himself a long time ago because I regularly brought home average grades no lower than a C.
He wonders why I'm not fond of him.
8. Abusive, tbh.
Feed them garbage food nonstop. Being the fat kid was the worst but I didn't know better when I was young.
My mother did that too. Her defense now is that feeding me horrible food was her way of showing she loved me. Whoever I showed concern for my weight I'd hear, you're just about to hit a growth spurt! Now I'm still chubby but in better shape but have a hard as f**k time with over eating.
7. Imagine my parents' surprise...
Tease them for talking to girls.
My parents would give me so much sh*t for every girl I talked to.
"Aww, you have a little girlfriend. That's so cute. Here let me tell everyone I know."
Yep. Same here. Like what the f**k. You look through my phone and see I'm talking to a girl, then you tease me endlessly. It really just made me super shy about meeting people, it made me have a hard time trusting people because it just felt like I was being patronized for talking to a girl.
I mean I'm fine now except the trusting thing but it's still something I wouldn't ever ever ever do to my children.
I still don't tell my parents about a new girl I am dating until she mentions its weird she hasn't met them. They have met 2 out of like 12 and I am only 23.
6. Shouldn't have been born, chief.
My dad used to tell us all the dreams and big things he had planned in life but couldn't accomplish because he had kids, idk if he realized what he was doing but made us feel guilty of ...well being born.
Yeah my Father did that too. Would say stuff like "why did we have 3 kids."
"should have cut my balls off."
I'm the last of the 3.
I mean, yeah, it's TRUE kids ruin lives, but you don't tell them that because it was your choice to have them, not the kiddos.
5. Teach respect.
Growing up, my parents always had all the answers: there were right ways and wrong ways. The right way earns approval, the wrong way earns scorn, or (even worse) �condescension.� This works! It instills work ethic, discipline, and sense of purpose - until it suddenly doesn't, because a child has been raised on the how, but not on the why. �Slaving away at goals becomes meaningless when you don't know how to set your own goals.
I try to listen to my children, to have them formulate what they want, and to guide them in how to achieve that. And, on occassion, to throw down and say 'no' when they want something particularly stupid - and to explain them why.
Wish me luck.
Good luck. It seems like having that awareness is key. You want your kids to look up to you and I suspect it's difficult to admit when you are wrong or don't know the answer. I'm finishing my PhD and have been able to teach a few classes and the hardest thing to lean is that people will ask you a question you don't know the answer to and saying that out loud.
4. How to instill panic attacks 101.
My parents used to scream at me when I was in trouble. It's made me terrified to be in even the slightest bit of trouble with any authority figure.
This broke me 100% t the point that the first thing that crosses my mind to this DAY when I have a life problem, is what will i tell them? My mother one day asked me why I lie to her, and I ripped into her and told her the truth, that I would rather take the chance and save face than have to deal with their petty bullsh*t. The screaming, the drama, and the over-analysis of everything in said event would be questioned and then, when a fault was found, it would be chastised.
There was one day that taught me that habit. I was volunteering at a hospital to pad my resume and my college application. They had assigned me on the front desk, so I was responsible for directing where patients went to. Should be pretty simple, something a 17 year old could easily do. One day a lady who spoke some broken English came in and told me her water broke. I, knowing limited Spanish, asked her again, and she confirmed it, so i sent her to the maternity ward. A doctor came, yelled at me for a moment, and stormed off. I was unsure what to even make of it. The next day I came in and was fired.
From a volunteer position. I had the bad luck of going on vacation for the next four days with my family after i was a done with my four hour shift. I called early, admitted what had happened. They yelled at me and went nuclear on my @ss for four hours, calling me every name in the book, telling me I was a failure, I was lazy, I was entitled, I was an unemployable loser and that I was expected to demand my job back (spoiler alert, didn't even get a response).
And they apologized later, but they'd never f*cking change, and did it again and again throughout my life. I've learned to seek others for advice.
3. Not picking favorites.
They had favorites.
The firstborn were a pair of twins, a boy and a girl. They were the favorites.
Three boys born after that were also-ran. Parents would give them second hand clothes, second hand toys (bikes etc.)
I asked my father why and he said that with children, the first born was special and used to inherit everything. (Primogeniture?) The others would have to go join the church or the army.
So at birthday time boy 1 would be given brand new presents. Other boys would be given second hand ones.
I remember on his birthday (12) oldest boy got a brand new dragster bike. Cost more than $100 at the time.
Youngest boy was given a second hand girls bike. (cost $10; we found out later.)
When youngest boy woke up and ran outside to see his "bike" he was unable to ride it because it had two flat tyres. On asking dad if he could fix he was sworn at and told not to be in such a hurry. Dad was very busy drinking coffee and reading the paper. He didn't fix it till the afternoon.
My sister was treated specially by mum because she was also first born, and the only girl. In fact she she was the "imelda marcos" of the family because she had a bedroom of her own (ok, she was the only girl) but also cabinets full of clothes and shoes - I counted 17 pairs at a time when us boys (even the eldest) had two pairs each - one for school and one for play (And sometimes we just had one for school.) I asked mum why and she said when she was a little girl she lived on a farm and the boys were given horses and gifts of money while the girls just got to help with the household. So she said she was going to make up for it with her own daughter. I said "that's not fair" and she said "I don't care".
I was the only one in the family that won scholastic prizes, and i won several - even cash ones. One time I used the cash to buy a train set I saw advertised in the paper. My dad drove me over and back.
Once we got back he insisted I give him the brand new transformer that came with the set I had bought, so he could give it to my older brother. "I drove you there so now you have to do something for me" he said. He took my new transformer that I bought with my own prize money and gave it to oldest brother, and gave me his sh!tty old one.
You know, dad, I was your son, and the only one that ever won prize money; maybe as I was your son you could have just done it for me anyway, instead of trying to cheat me out of something?
It hurt so much I buried it for years and didn't remember till a couple of decades later.
As a kid I knew our parents weren't popular with other parents on our street, and I also knew they weren't even popular with their own relatives. When I got older I started to see why.
I vowed to treat all my kids equally -boys and girls - and I have.
Mostly I use my parents as examples of what NOT to do to my children. Ah well. At least progress has been made.
2. Not actually answering questions.
Not explaining ANYTHING. I am a very literal, curious person that likes to apply things across the board where applicable. So, when my mother would say "because I said so" or anything else dismissive like that, I wouldn't clearly understand and I would do almost the exact same thing because I wasn't allowed to make the connection. I thought "be quiet" meant "make quiet noises" and was different from "shut up" and got in so much trouble one day for whispering after being told to be quiet.
Really, is it that hard to learn your children or are people just lazy when they demand respect from you for your age?
My kid's probably in here saying he won't over-explain things. "I ask my dad one question and 3 hours later we're still reading Wikipedia and watching youtube videos explaining <thing>"
1. Blaming the victim.
My sister (f26) and I (f22) did not get along at all growing up. She was both physically abusive and mentally. It got to the point where I modeled my entire life to be the opposite of hers because I wanted literally nothing to do with her. How my parents handled it was to tell us not to fight. That was it. I spent most Christmases in my bedroom crying and have permanent scars from her nails digging into me and all my parents ever did was tell me "Can you please just try to get along with your sister?" or "Why do you always let her get to you? You know she's just teasing you". My parents were wonderful to me in every other way but how they handled conflict between kids was terrible. If my child is crying at Christmas or wants absolutely nothing to do with their siblings I'm going to have a hard look at why and I'm going to actually listen when they tell me there's a problem.
Oh god that sounds like my mom. My older brother physically took things from me, and my younger brother had the rule "if it shuts him up just let him have it" which she enforced. I grew up needing to put a padlock on my room because they would steal my stuff and give it away.
My mom's response was always the same: "if you don't like it don't play with them". Like god damn he stole my PlayStation and all my games while I was out of the house.
What did you parents do to you that you vow to never do to your own kids?
Reddit user BlondCurvyDiva asked: 'What's the worst thing that's ever been said to you?'
When parents see their children grow aggressive and resort to hitting and throwing things, they often tell their children to "use their words".
While violence is never the answer, this advice might not always be the best advice, as sometimes words can hurt much harder than a punch or being hit in the head by a flying object.
Indeed, some people are still finding ways to recover from things people have said to them in the past.
Be it a demeaning insult or learning news they hoped they would never hear in their lives.
"What's the worst thing that's ever been said to you?"
Also, None Of Your Business!
"'Why did you stay with him?'"
"'Weren't you guys only dating for what, like a year and a half?'"
"Two years you mother f*cker and it was because I refused to leave the love of my life as he was dying rapidly of brain cancer."- Squeakymeeper13
Ugliness Comes From Within...
"I was at a bar to see a friend's band."
"Random woman walks over and tells me, 'People who look like you should stay home so the rest of us can have a nice time not having to look at you'."- ChrisNEPhilly
So Much For Love...
"The reason I want a divorce is because I don't want to spend the rest of my life taking care of someone who's handicapped"- Kervon37
The Truth Can Hurt So, So Much...
“'I’m sorry - there was nothing more we could do'.”
"I was 27, the love of my life had died in my arms."- billdogg7246
Part Of Being A Parent Is Just Showing Up
"My dad left my family when I was a little girl."
"One day after years of unresolved feelings I talked to him on the phone as a teenager."
“'I just don’t feel like you’re my dad'.”
“'We’ll I don’t feel like you’re my daughter'.”- callathanmodd
The Only Dreams That Matter Are Your Own
"When I was like 8 I was a huge dinosaur nerd."
"I remember saying I wanted to be a paleontologist, my mother promptly says 'honey I'm pretty sure all the dinosaurs will be discovered by then...' I was devastated."
"I think she thought she was looking out for me."
"Anyway now if a new dinosaur gets uncovered I send her a clipping in the mail (I make sure it's physical piece of paper so she knows I put work into it)."- twlvfngrs
"I'd say "forget about learning to draw, you will never be an artist anyway" said by both my mother and my younger bro, who are both pro artists who went to art school."
"Still gonna draw though. I'd do it even if it kills me."- RandomDude1801
You Only Stop Living When No One Remembers Your Name
"'You don't have a dad anymore'."
"Said by my mom when I asked how long he's going to spend in a hospital."
"I was 7."
"He died from a heart attack right before my eyes, and mom tried to resuscitate him for forty minutes while waiting for an ambulance to arrive."- NTaya
Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A Parent
"'If you get a girl pregnant, run'."
"Thanks for letting me know exactly how you felt about me 'dad'."
"I hope you've enjoyed the decades of no contact."- CleverName9999999999
News No One Wants To Hear
"'I'm sorry, she's gone'."
"Wife went to the hospital because she hadn't felt our daughter moving in her tummy for a couple hours."
"She calls and asks me to come to the birthing center immediately and I ask if I need to bring the overnight bag."
"She said 'no, just bring our son'."
"I knew then but couldn't believe it."
"Our daughter died from a true umbilical knot at 36.5 weeks and was delivered 2 days later stillborn."
"She was a perfectly healthy baby but was suffocated slowly by her own lifeline."- grievingdad2022
"Was in a bad place mentally."
"Decided I am going to start jogging to help how I feel."
"Where I decided to go is a fairly main road."
"A car of young men decided to hang out the window and yell 'going to need to run faster fatty'."
"I have struggled with working out publicly ever since."
"Can’t say my mental state is much better and that happened years ago now."- sirius917
Or, They Could Have Actually Helped Before...
"I had many 'friends' tell me I should have tried harder to get my husband into rehab after he died from alcoholism."
"Ya know yeah I just let it happen."- prpljeepgurl30
Probably Shouldn't Be Teaching Anywhere...
"In high school, one of my teachers told me 'you are the reason I hate coming to work and teaching here'.”
"It was a challenge to stay focused after that."- unicycle-rider
Intimidation Is Not Encouragement
"My Gym teacher in 8th grade while I was running a relay race: 'you don't really try in anything do you'."
"I really was trying as hard as I can."
"F*ck that guy."- oboshoe
Most physical wounds or injuries can be treated and go away or diminish over time.
But when someone says something harmful to us or tells us something we never want to hear, it will linger in our memories for the rest of our life.
"Someday we'll laugh about this."
You have to wonder if the people involved in the following historical events saw the humor at the time—or ever.
People are laughing now.
Redditor crooked_yellow asked:
"Which event from history will always be funny?"
We All Fall Down
"Ancient Korea had special recording officials, whose job was to record everything. They were considered separate from the government, so the emperor of the time wasn’t allowed to give them orders or tell them not to record something."
"Of course, some emperors would try anyway."
"On one occasion, King Taejong (15th century) fell off his horse while hunting. The recorder nearby wrote it down. The emperor insisted that it be removed from the record, and even tried to have the report destroyed."
"This lead to some nonsense as the emperor kept destroying their work, but the recorders kept copying it and hiding it in increasingly obscure places. And of course, recorded the whole thing as it happened."
"A few hundred years later, and the only thing that emperor is famous for is trying to hide the fact he fell off his horse."
"I picture some dude writing something like:"
"'at 11:35am on Sunday, the 9th of September the emperor fell off his horse'."
"11:37 emperor says 'don't write that down'."
"11:39 emperor tries to take book from me'."
"11:43 emperor fell in mud chasing me yelling 'Don't write that!'"
"11:50 lunch is being set as the emperor cleans up. He is upset today'."
Monkey See, Monkey Won't Do
"During the Napoleonic wars a French ship sank off the coast of Hartlepool England. The only survivor was the captain’s pet monkey which he always dressed in a French military uniform. The locals freaked out because the law was that any French military found on British soil must be executed as a spy."
"So they ordered the standard punishment for spies—death by hanging. Except instead of dying, the monkey just kept climbing up the rope."
"Because it was a monkey."
"Hartlepool has since embraced their failure at executing a tinyprimate for military espionage."
"Their local football team mascot is H'Angus the Monkey."
"Spanish chicken farmer Juan Pujol Garcia tried to become a spy for the MI5, but they rejected him. He then applied to become a spy for the Nazi SS, who accepted him. The SS gave him the order to start a spy network in London, but instead he set up shop in Lisbon."
"There, he started feeding the Nazi commanders a bunch of BS intel, based on publicly available newspapers and magazines. They were believable enough for the Nazis to accept it as truth, even though they were completely made up. Every once in a while, he would be confronted about 'bad intel'."
"He'd blame it on one of his fictional subordinates, and told his commanders he had 'rectified the problem.' In one situation, he told the Nazi's that his subordinate 'had fallen ill' and later 'died'."
"A fake obituary was placed in the newspapers to back his story up. He even convinced the Nazis to pay a pension to the (again, FICTIONAL) agent's widow."
"The MI5 became aware of his existence after they saw the Kriegsmarine waste considerable effort in hunting down a non-existing convoy, based on Garcia's (again, fake) intel. They enrolled him into their ranks, and that's when his bullsh*ttery started getting serious.
"He was given the nickname 'Garbo' in reference to 'the best actor in the world' Greta Garbo."
"Because the Nazis believed he was 'one of theirs' they even sent him an Enigma, to encode the messages he was sending them. It was promptly turned over to the codebreakers at Bletchley Park."
"His most important work was on Operation Fortitude. He helped convince Nazi high command that the invasion of Normandy was a diversion—officers believed a larger army was due to land in Calais."
"For his 'efforts' he was awarded the Iron Cross, authorized by Hitler himself. Understandably, the medal was awarded via radio."
"He was then also given an MBE medal by the British king, making him one of two people known to have received such prestigious medals from both sides."
"He faked his death and fled to Venezuela after the war, where he then ran a bookshop. His secret identity was undiscovered until a journalist got interested in the story, and managed to track him down in 1984."
"He managed to finagle the real name of 'Garbo' from a former spy and then found Garcia after literally calling every 'J. Garcia' in the Barcalona phonebook until he managed to get in contact with Garcia's nephew."
"The whole story is just so incredibly goofy. It's a prime example of 'wait, that worked?'."
Eiffel Tower for Sale!
"The con man who sold the Eiffel Tower twice and got away with it."
"You left out the part where the same guy later conned Al Capone out of $5000. Between the Eiffel Tower, the Rumanian box, and conning one of the biggest gangsters in American history, Victor Lustig is a freaking legend."
Guess He Showed Them...
"When Persian king Xerxes punished the sea for ruining his bridge."
"He tried to build a bridge across the Dardanelles to get to Greece faster but a storm destroyed the bridge."
"'Infuriated with the sea, Xerxes ordered his soldiers to punish it by whipping it with chains 300 times and poking it with red-hot irons. Handcuffs were also tossed into the water to symbolize the sea’s submission to his authority'."
"Literal embodiment of 'old man yells at clouds' energy."
"In 1945 the Americans were pushing through Germany."
"General Eisenhower sent General Patton a message, instructing him not to take the city of Trier because it would require 4 divisions to seize the city."
"Patton sent a message back saying 'Have taken Trier with two divisions… what do you want me to do, give it back?'"
"In 1982 cartoonist Gary Larson drew a cartoon of a caveman giving a classroom lecture, pointing to the spikes of a stegasaurus dinosaur tail and calling that the thagomizer 'after the late Thag Simmons'."
"That particular arrangement of tail spikes had no name at the time, so scientists who were fans of Larson unofficially named it the thagomizer."
He Followed Us Home, Can We Keep Him?
"In 1866 when going to war, Liechtenstein's army of 80 men came back with 81 men after making a friend from the enemy's side."
"The Kettle War."
"It was the 8th of october 1784."
"The Dutch kingdom and then Holy Roman Empire had a short naval battle and the only casulty was a kettle full of soup that got hit by a cannonball and that was the only shot that was fired."
Apparently Bugs Was a Republican
"President Jimmy Carter was attacked by a rabbit while paddling around in a rowboat."
"The President was minding his own business rowing around a small pond and fishing when a rabbit left the shore and swam deliberately towards the boat, apparently crazed."
"Carter splashed the rabbit with water, driving it away from the boat."
"According to Press Secretary Jody Powell:"
“'Upon closer inspection, the animal turned out to be a rabbit. Not one of your cutesy, Easter Bunny-type rabbits, but one of those big splay-footed things that we called swamp rabbits when I was growing up'."
"The animal was clearly in distress, or perhaps berserk."
"The President confessed to having had limited experience with enraged rabbits."
"He was unable to reach a definite conclusion about its state of mind."
"What was obvious, however, was that this large, wet animal, making strange hissing noises and gnashing its teeth, was intent upon climbing into the Presidential boat.”
"Staff back on shore initially didn’t believe the president’s account, but a photographer managed to capture the moment."
"Carter’s political enemies used the incident as fodder to show that he was weak and claimed that his response to the rabbit attack incited the Soviet Union to invade Afghanistan that same year."
While these events are funny in hindsight, one has to wonder if people saw the humor in the moment.
Hopefully we're laughing with them and not just at them.
Death is always shocking and sad, but the ways people die can give way to a whole host of other emotions.
Sometimes people die in the most pointless of ways. Other times, they die in some sort of freak accident.
And other times, they die in the strangest way... or in a very ironic way.
Redditors know all about people who died in a weird way and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor Pitiable-Crescendo asked:
"What was the most disappointing movie you paid to see?"
"My mom's friend died in a plane crash. But she was on the ground. The plane fell on her."
Fast As You Can
"In 1923 Frank Hayes, a jockey from Ireland, died from a heart attack in the middle of a race. The horse, Sweet Kiss, ended up finishing in first place with the man's body still on top of it."
"The horse was a 20-1 outsider (very unlikely to win) and Hayes had never won a race prior to that event."
"Edit: He was from Ireland. The race that he died in took place in New York."
"I'd run really fast too if I had a dead animal on my back."
"Jennifer Strange - entered a radio competition to win a nintendo wii. 20 contestants had to keep drinking water and the last to wee wins the Wii. I can't remember if she won but she died of water intoxication a few hours later"
"I believe that a nurse heard about the contest and even called to warn them about the dangerous, yet she was ignored and they still continued the contest."
"Pour soul... wasn't she trying to win it for her son or something?"
Careful What You Dip
"2009: Vladimir Likhonos, 25, a student of Kyiv Polytechnic Institute from Konotop, was killed when his chewing gum exploded."
"Likhonos had a habit of dipping his chewing gum in citric acid to increase the gum's sour taste. On his work table police found about 100 grams (3.5 oz) of unidentified explosive powder which he used for chemistry studies. It resembled citric acid, and it is thought that he confused the two."
"The explosive was found to be four times stronger than TNT, and the explosion was possibly triggered either by reacting with Likhonos' saliva, or the pressure exerted by him chewing on the gum and explosive powder."
Proved His Case
"The lawyer who, while trying to prove that his client did not shoot the victim but the victim had accidentally shot themselves, managed to shoot himself with the gun and died later. His client was acquitted."
"Well, he's an effective lawyer that's for sure."
"Effective, but single use."
"Tommy Cooper, a brilliant British standup/prop comedian had a heart attack on stage and the crowd thought it was part of the act. You can watch it on youtube, crowd is laughing the whole way through."
"Not necessarily the weirdest, but I remember hearing about a guy who wanted to train a goat to be aggressive (I think he wanted a guard goat or something?). He did this by chaining it on a balcony and going out to beat it daily. One day the goat headbutts him, knocks him off the balcony, and kills goner."
Novelty Of Molasses
"In 1919, a large tank of molasses broke open in Boston, Massachusetts. The tank was 50 feet tall and 27 feet in diameter. When it burst, 21 people died from the flood. Some were crushed by the wave of molasses and debris. Others suffocated under the dense fluid. One name for the event is The Boston Molassacre."
Inside The Dinosaur
"The guy in Spain who died inside of a papier-mâché Stegosaurus statue. He'd dropped his cellphone and was looking for it inside the statue (I guess?) and he got trapped and died."
"If it’s papier-mâché can’t he just break it and get out?
"I guess not."
"Edit: looking at this further, he was stuck head first down one of the legs. Not much you can do when stuck like that."
No Point In Growing It Out
"Heard about a man with a very, very long beard. During a fire, he accidentally stumbled on his beard while running for his life and snapped his neck."
"Not how I expected that to go after reading about the beard and the fire."
So Very Strange
"Back in Victorian times, a man startled a mouse. The mouse panicked and ran up the man's pant legs, and continued up until it passed his shirt collar. Desperate for a place to hide, it darted into the man's mouth when he let out a cry of surprise and got lodged in his throat. Suffocation."
As if mice didn't scare me enough before I heard this story!
When I was a cater waiter I saw it all.
People being flown in for entertainment.
All of the furniture in the building being replaced for one short evening.
Or buying out a building for an intimate dinner party.
And I want enough money to do it too. Although I did see a ton of waste.
And I hate to waste.
Like who doesn't love a lavish wedding?
But a lavish wedding with a $500,000 price tag, and you have to be out by midnight?
That party better have had Madonna performing, live fire acts, and ice cream served with diamond spoons.
Redditor AMGBOI69420 wanted to hear about what it was like to work for the insanely rich, so they asked:
"People who work for the super-wealthy, what stuff have you seen?"
I've also had rich friends who didn't clean clothes.
They bought new every week.
You can't make this stuff up.
Musical ChairsMake It Rain Money GIF by Tim and EricGiphy
"Pumped a bunch of money into the Malibu City counsel in order to change a few seats. This would allow him to have the local ordinance changed so his front doors could be taller than 20 feet."
A Personal Willow
"Worked as one of four full-time groundskeepers at a large estate. 46 acres of lawn to mow twice a week. 2 clay tennis courts, 3 pools, one for the main house, and one for each of the two guest houses. 100+ acre private lake with boat house. No clue how big the whole estate was including the woods. My personal favorite was the 3-mile personal race track."
"But what really blew my mind was that he hosted his niece's wedding one summer, and paid $350k to have this massive willow tree trucked in and planted by the lake for wedding photos. Only to pay another $50k to have it removed and the landscaping returned to its original state after the wedding because he did not like the look of it."
"I used to work at a jeweler that sold Argyles amongst other precious things. We had one big money customer who never wore anything more than Hawaiian shirts and shorts (think on-holiday Adam Sandler) who would come in and tell us 'I’m feeling like a (color) diamond today.' And we’d show him the collection we had at the time of those colors."
"He had dozens just sitting in our vault. Loved collecting them but he never took one home. Sometimes he’d book a visit and we’d get them out of the vault for him to look at over a glass of whatever drink he felt like. The cheapest I saw him buy in my time there was $130k."
I Don't Understand
"I often do work for the wives of wealthy professionals. The thing that has always stood out to me is that if I tell them that something they want isn't doable, they respond with literal confusion. It isn't anger. It's confusing. They are so unaccustomed to not being given exactly what they want that it's as if they don't understand what is happening when they are told they can't have something."
Take ThisCash Gifts GIF by DigiGiphy
"Not the craziest thing but wild to me."
"I was working for a kind of well-off family during a summer. I went inside to get a drink and the mom was cleaning the kitchen putting things away and such. She picks up a Macbook and says to me 'Hey, do you want this? No one uses it.' Got a brand new Macbook for college."
I held onto my last Macbook in hopes that someone would just give me a new one.
Like on TV.
It didn't happen.
Let's Party!Real Estate Thanks GIF by The Masters Division at Nest Seekers InternationalGiphy
"I set up a party for a family out in the Hamptons that bought the house next door just to level it and set up a giant temporary party tent on the plot. Wild sh*t."
Take it All...
"My brother-in-law builds custom homes in the redneck Riviera belt of Florida. One day, he called me to come over to this $15m beach house he was doing a complete remodel of. He was the original builder. He asked me to bring my truck and trailer. I show up, and he walks me through all four floors. He then says, 'The owners have removed all the stuff they want to keep. She has told me to dispose of everything as I see fit. Get what you want.'"
"Furniture, appliances, outdoor furniture, rugs, lamps, artwork, you name it. I don't know the value of everything I took home with me that day, but it was the highest-end stuff I've ever seen. FOUR floors of it, and I only got one trailer load because I simply couldn't fit anything else in my house. I likely had over $20k worth of furniture and appliances on that trailer."
Money well spent
"Had a client come into our 3D printing office. His attention was immediately caught by a large industrial 3d printer in our showroom. Pulled out a credit card and bought a $250k machine on the spot. The best part was when we installed the machine at his facility. The first thing he wanted to print was a meter-tall penis. A few weeks after the install we got a photo of him standing next to the meter penis. Money well spent."
Not a Bad Dude
"An old boss did extremely well and sold off the lion's share of his ownership but wanted to stay involved in the company anyway, so he'd drive his absurd supercar to the office and just hang out. One day he came into the office and it was set up in such a way that the executive offices were in a little 2x2 office glass pod in the middle (with curtains for privacy if needed) and our rows were arrayed around them."
"I'll say this though, he wasn't a bad dude. We may not have seen eye to eye on politics but if you worked for the company he knew your name and would hang around and chat. Super generous around the holidays with time off and the big holiday party/door prizes/stuff of that nature. The company went way downhill when he finally let go of the reigns completely."
Money well spent...kennedy center honors mic GIFGiphy
"I moved the guy that created eBay. He had Aretha Franklin's grand piano (played it) and Elvis Presley's coat (didn't wear it)."
I want Aretha's piano and Elvis' coat.
I would wear the coat while playing the piano.