Getting the approval of your partner's parents is a key factor to a relationship's success. It's nerve wracking at first- you never quite know what exactly their parents are looking for. But good news! These parents of Reddit will tell you exactly how they judge their kids' new partners.u/Umikaloo
asked:Parents of reddit: How do you feel when your kid brings back a girlfriend/boyfriend? How do you decide whether you like them or not?
All looks and no brains.
My daughter (13) wanted me to meet her first "real" boyfriend. I was nice and pleasant, but I knew it wouldn't last because he was all looks and no brains. Of course, as junior high relationships go, it was about a 2 month ordeal. I think all parents should try and be cordial, unless the person feels like a serial killer or something.
Happy Snail Day to you!Giphy
My 4yo daughter introduced me to the 5yo neighbor kid as a bf, she told me he's really good at running fast and he appreciates snails as much as she does. Needless to say, this is a keeper.
When's the wedding?
May 24th (Snail Day) :D
F**k that guy.
I gave my daughter's on/off boyfriend a chance. Tried to like him. He seemed a bit manipulative to begin with, but I chalked it up to being 15. Then she attempted suicide while snap chatting with him because he was telling her how selfish he thinks she is. All while she was already arguing with her best friend over him.
He didn't reach out to me or her stepdad at all. Just told all her friends that she was crazy. Started dating someone else while she was still in ICU. Then messaged a bunch of crap to her older sister calling her a slut and sh*t. I'll bury his a** in the backyard if he ever tries to get back with her.
This is a good parent.
When my oldest daughter introduced her first serious boyfriend, he was an awkward kind of guy, was pretty unremarkable, but he got super animated about topics that interested him. I had a chat with him about my daughter... he got animated. They've been married for 9 years. Good guy, works hard, is a staunch advocate for his wife, and I love his smile when he looks at their kids.
My oldest son's first girlfriend was... not an emotional investment he was willing to make. she was pretty, but that was it. I scolded him, he got defensive, almost married her, but she made the mistake of asking my son about my money.... About a year later he brought home a beautiful, talented woman with an electric personality and more self confidence than even my cocksure eldest, and I was never more proud of him than when he took that dive. Their kids are incredible... great couple.
My second daughter just introduced us to a college friend of hers. He seems like a decent person. He's young, but he's got a head on his shoulders and seems able to conduct himself politely. I'll need more time to figure it out.
My youngest son had a high school sweetheart girlfriend that's now his college girlfriend. When I first met her she was 9, so I'm pretty enamored with her. Her parents have babysat and house sat for us, and they're all good people.
My youngest daughter has introduced me to a girlfriend from her trade school recently. Pretty sure she has been dating her for a couple years. She's angry, contrary, and bitter. Under all that baggage it's hard to tell, but I'm hoping that my home can be a place where she can just let whatever angers her so much disappear for a while and I can find out who she actually is. I've asked a good friend of my daughter's if there's ever been any signs of violence, as that's my only real concern, but so far it seems fine on that front. My youngest has always been a bit more subdued and contemplative than my others, so I'm hoping that whatever bitterness is in her girlfriend's life doesn't hurt her. This relationship is the most concerning one to me, because my daughter is a very sensitive person, and I fear for her happy, cheerful spirit.
When they interact and help out the rest of the family. When my daughter didn't understand her homework and then her sister's boyfriend helped her it showed how much he actually cared.
I like to think I would do this but I probably wouldn't understand the homework either.
My daughter just started dating. She was mortified when I picked them up and asked if everything was Gucci.
Next time ask if they're having a yeet time. Doesn't work in the sentence, makes it better.
I decided that I liked my future son-in-law when I learned that my university-aged daughter had been slacking off. I phoned her and he picked up and tried to take the bullet for her, blaming himself for distracting her. I was so impressed with his altruism that I decided I liked him right then. Twelve years later she's doing her PHD and they're still together.
She's the one.Giphy
Not a mother but I'm a sister to a lovely brother. He had brought some girls in house in his teenage years, and instantly I would know if I liked them or not. The first one he brought, was super rude with me and my parents. She would eat alone in the bedroom when we are having dinner, force my brother to be mean to me, etc.
Few months after the relationship ended in a really bad way. After that brought some girls, didn't talk so much with them but they were nice and sweet (didn't last long, less than two months). The last one he brought, when I talked to her, just one thought came to mind "she's the one". Five or six years later, here they are, living together.
We love a good penguin conversation.
My eldest is 15, and boys in high school can be....gross. The way they speak to girls (and girls to boys) is just so far out of line it makes me ill. But her boyfriend is respectful to her and her family. Most importantly they're the same brand of weird.
They facetime 19 hours a day I swear, but yesterday they had an entire conversation about penguins both using the same weird fake Russian type accent. He's her safe place and without very good cause, I'd never get in the way of that.
It's about respect, if she treats him right, and compatibility.
On the other end, not her dad, but my girlfriend's roommate is this old grizzled marine dude. She told me that he liked me because I didn't try to get him to like, which apparently most people do. I was just myself and acted naturally, which he appreciated. Just be yourself and the people that will like you will like you, and the people who won't won't. But always be respectful.
That's a good mom.Giphy
That question is still gladly irrelevant to me as I am way too young to be a dad! Also did not accumulate enough dad jokes for that occasion. But!
My mum had three operational modes in which she treated my boyfriends.
- When she thought we'd better be off as friends, she just ... was out of our hair and acted as if we were good friends. She still likes those dudes.
- If she was 'meh' about someone, she'd often excuse herself out to avoid having to converse with the dude.
- If she was all 'nope' - she never, ever told me that nor really let that show but piled me with questions about specific dude as if to catch him on some lie (probably as I got two of those). Did not even do the 'I told you so routine', they just ceased to exist after breakup.
- If she likes someone - it is her new son from day one and one she will always take side of instead of me when arguments arise. She met my husband in an amusing fashion as we met over the internetz and been at it for a year then without meeting. First time I seen the bloke and picked him from airport alongside with mother, they had to drive me to work right away for a 12 hour night shift :P . So ... in theory they were on a first date more than us.
Died of neglect.
When my daughter brought home a boy, I met him with an open mind. However it did not take long for us to figure out she could do so much better. He was 21(to her 18) lived about 45 minutes away, in his mom's basement, had no car, no job, no high school diploma - she was enrolled in JR college for her pre required classes, then planned to continue at an out of state college, on her way to making a better life for herself. I asked her what he was planning for his future and he had no idea. Said he couldn't get a job because he had no car, couldn't get a car because he had no job.
She helped him get his GED, and he enrolled in JR College - but he didn't attend many classes - the whole no car issue. I offer to loan/buy him a bicycle, but that wasn't good enough so he dropped out. I never told her she could not see him, because I didn't want to driver them closer. Finally she started college in another state. The relationship finally died of neglect. She has since found the right man - I knew immediately when I met him, that she was on the right path - they are now happily married.
Not a sh*t.
Not my kid, but my niece brought over a few boys and It's strange how quickly i can tell if he's a sh*t or not.
Her first boyfriend I despised because he just seemed like he wasn't going to do anything with his life. (he ended up getting tried as an adult for some stupid shit and is currently in jail)
Her current boyfriend on the other hand is the most respectful dude i've met and he doesn't take sh*t from my niece. She can't just bat her eyelashes at him and have him do whatever she wants. He makes her do her homework, he's even stuck up for my nieces dad!
That's one way to do it.Giphy
If they have clean fingernails and say yes ma'am, I'll give them a shot.
Not a parent, but when my mom met my first real boyfriend and his parents, we were going to leave, and as we walk out the door she says all loud "You're dating the wrong brother"
To be fair his brother was hot, and I ended up spending more time with his brother than him.