A bully doesn't just magically happen. Bullies are molded. Sometimes they become who they are through violence or it's neglect. Hurt people hurt people. We know this all too well. So that is why when we recognize the signs in young children, we have to squelch it before it's too late. That is a difficult thing for a parent to recognize. But it would do the world a great service if parents stepped up and parented their unruly seed.Redditor u/Swallowingwallowing wanted parents out there to discuss with the rest us, and hopefully offer some relief in the future of creating better adults by asking them to reveal.... Parents of bullies, when did you realize your child was a bully and how did you react?
Nasty Girlfrustrated ugh GIF by Equipe de France de Football Giphy
i lived next door to my younger sister's bully. We were constantly going over there to tell the mother "Hey, your kid hit my sister today" or "Hey, your kid bit my sister" and the girls were about 9/10 so she knew better.
The mother denied that her precious pet could do anything like that, a few days later the mother and the kid were at school and I was dropping my sister off, the bully girl walked up to a random younger kid and sucker punched her in the face, about 20 other adults saw, instead of disciplining her kid she started yelling at the kid she punched, calling this poor 9 year old a sl*t, a wh*re and a b***h then raised her hand to hit her, but when another couple of parents started yelling at her and pushing her away this grown ass 35 year old started crying her eyes out that people were calling her out on her bull.
It was a real eye opener that the kids probably pick up their abusive behavior from somewhere.
As it turns out the Mother was a complete psycho and regularly lost and gained custody of her kids because of her behavior, she goes through boyfriends like they're going out of fashion, hit one of them around the head with a rolling pin and cause crap wherever they go, the definition of a Karen, and upon knowing who the Mother's parents are, it's a family thing for sure.
A Fixable Problem
we take care of our girl relative as often as we can (she has her own family, we're just close)
She's 8 now and started bullying when she started school because she thinks she's "dominant".
Underlying reasons are mainly rooted in the household and environment: how she's being treated (mostly by adults), how people react to her actions, how she's being reprimanded, methods (and how often) she's disciplined, who she's surrounded by, etc.
Still hard to fix right now, but best method: keep calm and explain to the child. Cause-effect, consequences, the feelings and situation of the victim, etc. Remember that you're dealing with a kid, don't just scold them and expect em to see at your level of maturity and understanding. Explain, talk it out. Their stubbornness will get in the way, but stay firm and ease your way into their trust and comfort. Child Psychology, learn it.
She's not intentionally bad... Just that her jokes come off as sarcasm at such a young age, to the point of insult sometimes. We found out from her teachers and classmates. Problem: her household doesn't see this as an issue to address and actually celebrates her cleverness. But even when they do, their way of discipline obviously apparently doesn't work.
"i thought it was a brownie"
My parents thought i was a bully, i bit a kid in preschool cuz he had a huge brown freckle on his arm. Im talking 1.5 inch (38mm) diameter large. Parents took me to the kids house to apologize and help the other parents know why i did it. Literally told them "i thought it was a brownie" and i literally thought it was. So i wasn't truly a bully but more of a complete moron but for a few days 2 sets of parents believed i was the anti christ at 4 years old.
In elementary school
I was acquainted with a bully early on in elementary school. The way too aggressive type. I remember my other friends and I incidentally had similar stories of the bully trying to drown us in the local pool. He would punch kids all the time for no reason, and was extremely defensive, and mentally weak - even for an 8 year old. Despite it all, his parents were very nice, but spoiled him a fair amount. One day, on the first day of school that year, he was gone and nobody knew what happened. We assumed he moved away until 6 years later.
My friends and I were all playing soccer at the park across from the bully's house when suddenly we all spotted the bully atop his backyard play structure, fighting a younger man with a toy lightsaber. We all then came to the consensus that he had been sheltered for the past 6 years and most likely never left the house. Which I guess is one way to deal with a bully.
Sorry Matt....tug of war hello GIF by Paul McCartney Giphy
Not a parent yet, but I took a dip into bullying for a bit.
For the most part, I was the one everyone picked on (for no real reason other than I behaved differently than pretty much everyone else). I was near the bottom of the totem pole, but they considered one lower than me. A rather plump kid by the name of Matt. I saw the other kids bullying him and making fun of him. I was feeling bitter that day and said something about him when his back was turned. The popular kids loved it.
For a week or two, I continued seeking this praise. The praise of being an @sshole. I don't remember the exact turning point, but one day I reflected upon myself. I thought "what am I doing?"
Eventually, I started seeking amends with him. He was very forgiving once I apologized, and we even became friends for the next few years. We ended up going to different high schools, but we even ran into each other when I went to a choir contest his school was hosting. We talked for hours. I'm glad I stopped when I did, because at the end of the day, an oversized belly is worlds better than an oversized ego any day.
The Bad Clique
My kid is fairly popular, more than I ever was, and I'm ashamed to admit I was conflicted when I learned from their school that they're part of a clique that bullies others.
My first thought should've been disappointment, but instead it was "I'm glad he doesn't have to put up with bullying like I had to as a kid." It was an instinctual response that borders on tribalism, i.e. I'd rather have my kid be a popular bully than be an unpopular victim.
But afterwards I approached it logically and sat him down, shared with him my experiences during school and how bullies nearly ruined my childhood. My kid respects me and hasn't seen me that vulnerable before, so it ended up making an impact. I'm sure though as long as he sticks with that same social circle he will still be in situations where he looks the other way on bullying. I can only continue to try and guide him to the best of my ability.
It was me....
I am a parent but of only a 4 year old. But I was a huge bully in high school and I'm such an idiot it never even dawned on me until I was like maybe 21-22. I did horrible stuff just for laughs. But I made it a priority to personally apologize to everyone formally and in person since then. It's one of my highest priorities as a father to ensure my son embraces everyone as a friend when he gets older.
She also whooped me.
I was a bully in middle school and high school and was bullied as well. I never saw myself as a bully because I was constantly picked on and made fun of and didn't realize how many people's feelings I was hurting.
It honestly took a trip to the office freshman year for me to come face to face with the fact that I was making other people feel bad about themselves.
My mom sat me down and reminded me of my insecurities and how I used to come home and cry. She told me if I wanted to make other people hate me like I hated my bullies, then I should keep on doing what I'm doing.
She also whooped me. I made reparations and try to be better than I am. I have a tough mom.
She is who she is....It Is What It Is Dont Care GIF by AwesomenessTV Giphy
My parents realized my youngest sister was a bully when she was like 6 and now she's 16 and they still haven't done anything about it.
Time Out Son.
Not so much bullying, but being abrasive in online gaming chats. With everything locked down I've been (very happily!) able to spend more time with both of my Sons. My youngest, 15, is very competitive when it comes to online gaming. Currently Rocket League, but it's been Fortnite etc in the past. So I'm at my desk and he's at his and I hear some fairly toxic stuff that he's saying to team mates one night. I told him game time was over, shut it down.
Proceeded to have a front porch talk about what being a good team mate is all about and how supporting the team was always a better idea than dragging people down or making them ashamed. He was pretty responsive, logged back into discord and apologized to the guys/gals he'd been teamed with and we haven't had an incident since then. I'm very proud of him, if you can't tell.
Garfield the Cat....Giphy
Several answers here are along the lines of "one of the things that makes a bully is lack of attention". My parents love me more than life itself, and yet I was still a bully in my elementary years. I couldn't tell you why exactly, other than just saying 'autism', which is no excuse. My parents did not allow the teachers to use that as an excuse, and made sure I was appropriately punished. And I am so grateful for that.
Anyway, most autistic children have the one thing they obsess over. For me, it was Garfield the cat. Every phone call from the principal, one Garfield thing was taken away, and it broke my parent's hearts, but it worked.
Edit: I consulted my mother to see if she had any insight as to the reason. Best guess is lack of regard for other people's feelings.
Edit 2: please stop recommending r/Imsorryjon to me. If I wanted to ruin my childhood, I'd already be subscribed to that subreddit.
"do no wrong'"
All I know is that my wife is a teacher, and when she tells parents about their kid being mean, or a bully, or anything 'bad', they just say crap like "he doesn't do that at home, he's a good boy, you must be lying, or the other kids are lying" the parents at her school are affluent and can 'do no wrong'.
Parents, please listen to your children's teachers.
"Us vs. Them"
You should know that one of the major forming factors for bullies can be parents paying no attention at all, so the replies you get may be limited by that. Bullying is often more of a dysfunctional attempt at socializing than it is real sadism or manipulation. It depends on which bullying problems you're looking at, of course. But lots of it like harassment-teasing targeting peers that are perceived as weaker is actually an attempt to force camaraderie with others by creating an "Us vs. Them" environment.
My son was a bully.
1st grade I started getting noticed from his teacher that he was throwing sand at girls and stabbing people with a pencil. I talked to him and he had crazy first grade reasons like "she was being mean first". I told him it's not cool and to knock it off. Every teacher meeting I would tell them to let me know and I'll punish him.
Second grade. I meet the teacher. I warn her that I think he's a bully and to watch him. Now he's being mean to specific people. Anyone that can't run fast etc. I'm thinking to myself... I can't watch him all the time, what do I do. At home I start punish him but it doesn't really do anything. All teacher conferences main agenda is bullying.
Third grade. I meet the teacher and warn her we have a bully on our hands. Same crap happens. I'm reading a book on the subject and I read a passage that says if you call a kid a bully he lives up to the role. Hmmmm let the experiment begin.
From that day I stopped calling him a bully and started saying things like "your going to help your teacher today right? You are a good boy. Make me proud by being a helper". Almost night and day. The calls stopped. The next teacher conference, the teacher said how helpful he was.
He's in 8the grade now. No bully calls. I make him do volunteer work weekly just in case. He still does crazy crap like attacking kids that are mean to girls but no bullying. I don't know if I caught it in time or if my kid just needed coaching but it worked.
In Girl Scouts.Giphy
Not my story but my mom's/friend's mother: a friend of mine became a bully in middle school. My mom and her mom were friends when we were kids in Girl Scouts (we played together but went our own way more and more when she started to become mean). There was this community event about bullying for Girl Scouts I think and my mom went to support the organizer and because I'd been bullied for years. She wanted to find ways to support me and resolved troop conflicts.
This friends mom went and my mom saw her, she's since left the troop and it had been a few years, and was surprised. Asked her if her daughter had been bullied too. She responded "no, my daughters become a bully and I'm embarrassed. I want to understand why she's doing this and try to teach her how much she's hurting others." My mom was really really impressed because this woman, prior to this conversation, was kind but rather aloof and ignored a lot of the previous "young girls picking on each other in Girl Scouts/clubs", passing it off as just normal kid issues.
It was almost like she'd finally flicked a switch and realized that her daughter's behavior had been progressively getting worse over the years and she, as a mom, had just ignored it until it got to a very serious point. I'm not sure what came if it, but from other people who went to high school with her, she apparently became less of a true bully and started to act more kindly. I always wondered how those conversations went.
know I got one of my old bullies hard when, on suggestion from one of my cousins to invite said bullies to my birthday party (7 total, only one showed) and proceeded to introduce the kid as "the craphead who beats me up every day" even called him that in front of his mom. I know at some point the kids mom had a discussion with my mom (I'll ask if she remembers how it went) and after about 20 minutes they up and left.
Never had a issue with him afterwards.
Update... talked to mom, she doesn't remember the exact words that were used but the conversation was basically bully's mom saying I was being rude to my guest and was using foul language I shouldn't use. To which my mom proceeded to tell her all the crap this kid and his little circle of goons did to me, my mom was actually going to pull me aside and show the lady the bruises I had on me from him and the other bullies when she decided to leave.
I used to (verbally) bully a neighborhood-kid. I think we were around 7 or 8 years old or so. She was deaf and therefore talked a bit weird. At one point we were being mean towards her and it got so bad she jumped on her bike to get away from us and she lost her balance and fell, chafing her chin and palms. She starts crying, and at the same time laughing but also panic and remorse on our side ensued.
Not long after I got home, her mother called mine and my mum was very upset and angry with me. She said she was taking me to the toy store and told me to bring my pocket money and buy this girl a gift as an apology. Also I had personally go to her house, ring the bell, come in, gift her the present and say I'm sorry, that it was hurtful what i did and would never do it again.
I remember feeling so bad, I cried harder than she did when she fell of her bike earlier that afternoon. I was so ashamed of myself and horrified that my mum was so mad at me. The girl asked me why I did this to her and I just could not answer the question. I just wept like a baby on my own mothers lap, mumbling "I'm sorry" between sobs.
For sure my parents taught me a lesson.
Not until he started 5th grade. He was super close to his grandpa (wife's dad) and when he died it destroyed him and his behavior changed. Few weeks after the funeral this kids mom called my wife saying things my kid was saying and doing. Not the school mind you. We had a parent teacher conference days BEFORE she called. Teacher didn't say a word. We talked to him.
Your first reaction is to protect your kid and not accept it, but we can tell by the way he was reacting to the discussion. We arranged a playdate of sorts. We monitor it now. He talks to a therapist to. He's a good kid just makes terrible decisions. As a father of 4 we've been on the other end of it as well and usually if the kids an a**hole so is one or both of the parents. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree at times.
I was the victim until I paid older kids in snacks to beat up the people bullying me. I made sure they knew I had caused their injuries.
You see the snack transaction was a one time thing but the bullies thought the older kids that beat them up were my mates... and i kept that lie alive.
Less than 3 quid to take out a hit on my tormentors. 👍
A bunch of friends and myself were sitting around one day talking about school and we got to the subject of being bullied. As I sat there listening, I realized that I didn't have a story to tell. This is when I also realized I was the bully.
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Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.