If there's one thing that parents won't admit, it's the fact that they may have regretted having children. Whether it was for personal preference, financial reasons, or anything in between, they finally were able to confess to Reddit their true thoughts.
One Redditor jaytoles asked:
People who regret having kids: why?
Protecting them from trauma.
"It fills me with fear and worry about their future. It's like having your heart outside of your body. I don't want to live but I have to for their sake, and I know there's so much out there I can't protect them from."
"I don't personally regret having a kid at all, but I completely understand that first sentiment."
"I was mercilessly bullied in grade school, and when she started school it didn't even cross my mind that it would happen to her because she's so sweet and happy and fun and friendly."
"Then I went to my first father daughter dance with her, she was in KINDERGARTEN and I watched a few of the slightly older girls (same grade) just absolutely treat her awful. On a night that was so much fun I had my heart break in two.
"Since then she'll come home every so often and tell me something, we'll try to work with her or her teacher to get it fixed but every day as I kiss her on the forehead before she goes to school I silently pray that she won't get the same treatment I got.
Can't just chill out anymore.
Giphy"Life is much easier without them. I love my kids...but there are definitely days I question our decision to have them. Mine are both around age 5 (boys), and they're just so hyper - as I type this, they're arguing in the backseat because one of them wants quiet time and the other wants to sing (don't worry, I'm not the driver.) You're constantly either correcting someone, listening to shrieking (sometimes happy, sometimes not), whining, arguing, needing to get up to get them stuff or play with them or teach them, etc."
"It just requires constant attention, and that wears me down more than I had anticipated. Your downtime to watch TV and just chill out and not think about anything? Gone for many years, along with the ability to be spontaneous. Want to eat out? Have to find a kid appropriate place, make sure you have some crayons or something to keep them quietly occupied, and you'll spend most of dinner working on building their restaurant manners. Life is just a whole lot more tiring."
"(I realize this response sounds like I hate my kids. I don't. Like all parts of life, there are ups and downs. But I do feel like society, especially people deciding if they want kids, would benefit from more people being willing to talk about the hard parts.)"
It can be draining.
"I can't say I "regret" having had kids, but I often think my life would be better had I not. Parenting is difficult under the best circumstances, but it's a roll of the dice. If you have a child with medical or developmental problems it is a tremendous drain. I feel like I've aged about 20 years in the last 5, like I'm just a ghost of my former self."
This is a tough one.
"I don´t have kids yet, but I know someone who regrets having kids; my mother."
"They (my mom and my father) wanted two daughters, but after multiple failed attempts, they settled with having just one daughter. They were all fine with having just one kid. Dad´s condom got broken, I was born as a male, not as female, dad started feeling overwhelmed, started dating his current wife when I was 4, my parents got divorced, 14 years passed, and here we are."
"My parents care only about my sister. Dad only talks to her. My mom told me on multiple occasions, ever since I was 6, that she hates me. I was hugged by my dad only once in my entire life. My mom hugged me only three of four times in my entire life. I was the reason my parents got divorced. Ever since I was born my dad was cheating on my mom with multiple women (one of them got kicked out of his work due to their relationship interfering with their work). She keeps telling me that she regrets having me and that she should have went for an abortion. Even during the divorce process, they were haggling over my sister, but when I was discussed in court, not one of them wanted me, so the court assigned me to my mom´s custody, along with my sister."
"She even suggested joint custody, which worked for about a year, until my father couldn´t bear having me every other week and watching me (he truly didn´t care a single bit about me and hated me). My sister rarely went to visit my father, only about once or twice for one night every month. This worked for about a year until my mother was able to ask for higher alimonies, which required her to have full custody of me and my sister. And, since my father had the short end of the stick and only one lawyer, my mom won."
"As for my sister; After all of this, my sister turned out to be a pretty awful person. Selfish, spoiled brat that went to study for a lawyer. Without our grandma´s connections and friends, she wouldn't get a single thing she has in her life. On top of that, she committed some crimes, which forced her ex-boyfriend to escape the country. She emotionally manipulates everyone so that they do what she wants. So yes, she is possibly the worst person in our family."
"Now I´m living with my mom. I´m 19 and in university, studying to become teacher of English language and ethics. I want to move away from this town and be a teacher somewhere else where me and my girlfriend can get a decent job. I want to be a good father to my children and good teacher for my future students."
"I don´t want anyone to go through what I went through. When I will have the means to do so, I will be cutting ties with my family, and possibly even changing my last name. I don´t want my children to know anyone from my family, because I don´t want them to be influenced by their toxic personalities."
Don't have kids if you like to sleep.
Giphy"I don't regret the kids I have, but I do regret not waiting until we were a little older and more settled to start having kids. I feel we struggle much more financially that we might have if we had waited."
"Our youngest is 3 and we haven't slept more than a dozen nights in his life. So if you are particularly invested in sleeping through the night, don't have kids."
Nothing but worry.
"I'm a parent that mostly doesn't regret, but there's a constant stress. Money concerns are not fun, but there's a lot of other stuff too. Toddlers can choke or get kidnapped New drivers can die in a crash (happened a couple times at my high school). Teenage pregnancies. Seems like there's always something to worry about."
Is it immoral?
"I sometimes feel guilty about the world I have brought them into, and wonder about whether having kids in general (bringing innocents into a world where they will definitely suffer) isn't immoral."
Again, DON'T have kids if you like sleep.
Giphy"It's just easier without them. On the rare occasions my kids are on sleep overs a single evening can seem like a six week summer break due to not having issues with dinner, getting ready for bed and going to bed."
"My youngest has night terrors so I think in the last decade or so, even after the baby crying in the night stage, we've had maybe twenty or thirty nights of unbroken sleep. It's just crazy the amount of time, money and energy you put into raising kids."
Valid.
"Extreme poverty. And not very much hope of escaping the poverty. Child support can be a real b*tch."
Wow.
"Not me but my Mom once told me she considered aborting her first child (my older brother) and not having me or my younger sisters after that. She says that her life would have been WAY different, she could've graduated college and got a good job. But she still loves us and can't imagine her life without us now."
That's a good idea.
Giphy"I regret my mother having kids - not only because I wish I didn't exist but because she wasn't ready. I'm not sure she ever would have been. Don't get me wrong, I love her and I know she loves us with all her heart, but she just had us because she got pregnant and she just got lucky that none of us have any expensive physical needs that she would have been entirely too poor to deal with as a single mother. She also has never been aware of things like depression or anger issues and so she can't recognise them at all, particularly in my horribly spoiled and violent younger sister."
"I think a lot of eldest daughters feel this was but I feel like the second parent or her emotional support daughter or something. I'm always dragged in to help mother the others and play the bad cop because she can't be strict. As much as I love her, she's the reason I think there should be a course every parent should have to take before having a child. Some people just are not emotionally intelligent enough and just winging it can have some serious side effects on your kid."
"Also just a side note because I sound very judgemental for someone without kids - I'd be a terrible mother so my tubes are getting tied."
Ups and downs.
"I don't regret it per se, however I was pregnant with my first child when I was 19 (36 now) so I've lived my entire adult life being a parent. I've missed out on a lot and they've missed out on a lot with me not being ready and wise enough to be a good parent. It's very exhausting and tiring. I used to spend a lot of time regretting having children, but I feel like I'm on the home stretch now. Almost."
"Having said all of this, I adore my kids with my all my heart and I have a super special relationship with my youngest. All in all I say parenting is like an elevator. It has its ups and downs."
Fair point.
"It's like having a pet."
"Except you have to feed, cloth, nurture, medicate, educate, enlighten, entertain, and always be there for them."
"In short, it's a full time job that requires zero qualifications, the pay is potentially amazing and potentially horrible, and if you f**k up badly enough you're going to jail."
Say goodbye to sleep.
Giphy"Parenting is a pain in the a**."
"Anybody would tell you that I am a great dad and I love and care for my kid to no end."
"But I absolutely am not having another one. They have a way of making your life about them. There are no days off."
"I remember a time my wife and I could just leave at 3 in the morning to grab a snack. Not anymore."
"We could fly to a different country without having to stay up on the whole plane ride with the kid. Have you ever had jetlag? That is some serious sleep and imagine not being able to get that sleep because your toddler is up and ready to go."
"They are demanding. They need all your attention. They are expensive."
"They are also cute and show you love and affection like nobody else. They are forgiving and often easily happy."
"But I just know that I am not cut out for it. The one I have, I'll give him the world. But I am not having any more."
That's so sad.
"There was a comment down below that reminded me of this story, but I feel it was inappropriate to respond directly to that comment because it would come across as insensitive. So here it is."
"There was a guy in the neighborhood growing up. Nice neighborhood, probably a nice family. I didn't know them personally. But their house was on one of two main ways out of the neighborhood so we were always driving past. Apparently this guy really, really, really wanted a son. He didn't get one, he got three daughters instead. And apparently they were really girly daughters, as in none of them wanted to play basketball, softball, or any other sports. So this guy put up a basketball goal anyway. He was always out there shooting hoops by himself. It seems kind of sad."
This is more than a valid decision. Kids are a lot of work and not for everyone.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Reddit user Kuli24 asked:
"What's a movie fact you know that pretty much no one else knows?"
The Departed/Arthur the Aardvark
"When filming the rooftop scene in The Departed, a giant inflatable Arthur the Aardvark—from the TV show Arthur—on top of a nearby children's museum would have dominated the background of many of the shots."
"The museum graciously agreed to temporarily deflate and remove Arthur."
~ el_goyo_rojo
GiphyMission Impossible
"The theme song from Mission Impossible spells out MI in Morse code on repeat."
~ BelgianBeerGuy
GiphyStar Wars
"Robert Englund, famous for playing Freddie Kreuger, auditioned to be Luke Skywalker, but didn't get the role."
"He told his roommate, Mark Hamill, to go try out instead."
~ Zefram0911
GiphyNightmare On Elm Street/Lord of the Rings
"And by extension, the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise is considered the reason we have Lord Of the Rings today.
"Because New Line was on the verge of bankruptcy until Elm Street saved the company."
"And New Line was the only company with the guts to green-light and fund Peter Jackson’s pre-production and production for LOTR."
~ hevnztrash
GiphyThe Princess Bride
"Cary Elwes broke his toe on André the Giant's 3-wheeler during filming The Princess Bride."
"He was worried Rob Reiner might fire him so he kept it a secret.
"He worked the scenes before the Fire Swamp to make his character kind of nonchalant but really he couldn't put much weight on his foot."
~ Inevitable-Roof4992
GiphyAliens
"In Aliens, after the first encounter with the aliens as the Marines are retreating, there is a scene where they get in the troop carrier and as they are getting ready to leave, an alien tries to get in."
"Hicks picks up his shotgun off the deck, jams it in the alien's mouth, yells 'Eat this' and blows it away."
"That whole scene was shot backwards because the actor, Michael Biehn, couldn't perform the move."
"So it was shot backwards, played in reverse and then sound dubbed over it."
~ LordBaranof
GiphyCoco
"In Pixar's Coco, the boy who was going to play Miguel hit puberty, changing his voice."
"The people in charge replaced him with someone younger."
"The original boy got a cameo where he is the guy working the stage asking him if he's ready to go on."
~ numbersev
GiphyAirplane!
"Leslie Nielsen was a critically acclaimed dramatic actor and leading man before he did Airplane!."
"On the set, people were intimidated by him because of his status."
"But they had no idea that he was the set prankster."
"He's actually buried with a fart machine that he used to carry around to mess with people."
~ G-Unit11111
"His prior career was the primary reason for casting him in Airplane!."
"A respected serious actor giving those jokes as serious lines was what made it so funny."
~ SaltWaterInMyBlood
GiphyFinding Dory
"In Finding Dory, the original voice of Nemo had grown up, so his voice had obviously changed."
"But he still got a cameo as one of the truck drivers."
GiphyDead Zone/Christmas Story
"The movies Dead Zone and Christmas Story were being filmed only a couple miles away from each other at the same time."
"Both productions were waiting for snow so they could film. It was an usually snowless winter."
"Finally late in the season there was a significant snowfall. The scene where Sheriff Bannerman arrives at Johnny’s house is being filmed at the exact moment of the tongue to the flag pole scene."
~ Annual_Rooster5678
GiphyShrek
"In the first Shrek movie, Lord Farquaad is removing all the fairy tale creatures from the swamp."
"He wants Shrek's home too."
"In the old DVD extras they explain it’s because he wants to build a theme park there."
"It’s not explained at all in the movie."
~ bickel89
"Farquaad was modeled after then Disney CEO Michael Eisner."
"Shrek was produced by DreamWorks which was co-founded by Jeffrey Katzenburg who ran Disney before Eisner."
"Farquaad is also a play on the word F*ckwad."
~ TheGoadingGoat
GiphySir Anthony Hopkins
"Sir Anthony Hopkins is an incredible mimic."
"Throughout his career, he’s looped (post-production sound re-recording) many well known co stars who were unavailable for re-recording sessions."
"He’s never taken credit for this."
~ smdanes
GiphyToy Story/Monsters Inc.
"The original choice for Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story was Billy Crystal. He turned it down and went on to say it was one of the biggest mistakes of his career."
"When the opportunity to voice Mike in Monsters Inc came up he jumped at it, as he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice."
~ DorkusMalorkus89
GiphyContagion/Seven
"In Contagion the autopsy performed on Gwyneth Paltrow used a prop head that was originally made for the finale of Seven."
"The latter decided against showing what was in the box and thus, years later it was repurposed."
"In other words, we finally got to see what was in the box."
~ thepoeticpatient
GiphyEdward Scissorhands
"In Edward Scissorhands, the version shown to critics and reviewers contained a scene that got cut from the final theatrical version. The scene was during the opening when the grandmother starts telling her story to the little girl."
"Essentially, it made it clear that everything we are seeing in Edward’s story is not as it actually occurred, but rather we’re peering inside the little girl’s imagination, seeing how she’s interpreting what her grandmother is telling her."
"This brings whole new meaning to things like the way the houses are painted, how all the dads leave for work at exactly the same time, and the quirkiness of how everyone behaves.
"Once you know that this scene exists, you see the movie in a very different way. Much of what we think of a 'Tim Burton weirdness' is actually childlike imagination once you know."
"So, go watch it again. It’s not a whole new movie, but it feels and comes across in a whole new way."
~ Darnitol1
GiphySo, what cinema secrets do you know?
There's nothing like leaving a movie theater having just seen an excellent movie.
Particularly one that took you by surprise.
Perhaps it was deeper and more meaningful than it purported itself to be, or on the flip side, had much more warmth and humor that you would have expected.
Or, the film took an unexpected twist that you never saw coming.
Resulting in your needing to bite your tongue until the rest of your friends and family see the film, and not spoil the surprise for them.
Redditor HornyCorny was curious to hear which plot twists left viewers utterly speechless, leading them to ask:
"What’s a movie twist that caught you completely off guard?"
He Didn't See It Coming Either!
"Brad Pitt in 'Burn After Reading'."
"So surprising and downright freaking hilarious."- thefirehairman
If The Shoe Fits...
"'The Shawshank Redemption'."
"Come on."
"It's not always a man notices another man's shoes."- FUBARspecimenT-89
Lucky For Some, Not For All...
"'Lucky Number Slevin'."
"Huge twist and very satisfying."- kvlr954
angry josh hartnett GIFGiphyRosie O'Donnell Would Agree...
"Fight Club."- BuchseeI
"once watched it with a friend who had never even heard of it, and she called the twist like, a half hour in."
"She said it as a joke and didn't realize she was right until the actual reveal, but still I was shook."- yugosaki
I See You Keyser Söze
"The ending of 'The Usual Suspects'."- Schwarzes__Loch
Definitive Shyamalan
''The Sixth Sense'."
'I love movies with plot twists, but I never imagined this one. It caught me completely off guard."- lucasduka
Haley Joel Osment Movie GIFGiphyThe Title Is Also Misleading...
"The second half of 'Parasite'."- iwontrememberthat4
Appropriately, They Really Toyed With Your Cognition
"'The Game'."- DudeHeadAwesome
"Good one!'
"I spent the entire movie going 'is it a game? Is it real?'"- fastpixels
There Were Definitely Ghosts...
"'The Others'."
"Unsuspected end."- NeckComprehensive743
scared horror film GIF by FilmStruckGiphyOne Unforgettable Opening Scene
"'Scream'."
"The Drew Barrymore role."- LivingTheLife53
The Real Reason Everyone Is Terrified Of Bees...
"When I was a kid, I wanted to feel good and happy."
"So at the video store, I decided to rent a movie with two happy laughing kids on the DVD cover, thinking it would be a feel-good playful story."
"That movie was 'My Girl'."
"Eff that movie."
"Seriously."
'The DVD cover lies."
"IT LIES."- buckyhermit
You THOUGHT you knew who the villains were...
"'From Dusk to Dawn' — midway point."
"Didn’t know at all what I was walking into when saw it in the theatre decades ago — just, you know, Salma Hayek. Good enough."
"Quentin Tarantino slurping tequila from her foot after it ran down the entire length of her leg — that was already a 'Holy WTF' moment."
"But then, well.. . you know."
"And if you don’t know — quick, go watch it. "
"No trailer, no synopsis, no summary."
"Find it and load it 'blind' and fasten your seatbelt."
"You’re in for a wild ride."- canada11235813
George Clooney Tarantino GIF by MIRAMAXGiphyIt's Title Is More Than Accurate!
"'Crazy Stupid Love'."
"The scene when the whole movie goes apesh*t in the yard is one of my all time favorite movie scenes."- Fimbulvintern
Trifecta Of Twists
"'The Others'."
"The end of 'The Mist'."
"'The Prestige' (though, I ALMOST had it figured out, but not quite)."- Krinks1
There's nothing better than when a movie surprises you.
Even if it does make talking about said movie with people who haven't seen it a bit more challenging.
Case in point, people who saw The Sixth Sense and The Usual Suspects after their endings were spoiled for them, don't seem to like those movies as much as those who went in blind.