Remember when you were a kid, and you had that one top secret thing that you never told your parents? Well trust me, they knew what was up. Like, I may have told my dad that I was going out for a “midnight walk” when I was 17, but I was actually going out to hook up with someone from my drama class. He found out the truth really quick.
Parents always know, my friends. They may act like they don’t to avoid your embarrassment, but they see everything. Keep that in mind next time you think you’ve successfully covered up that hickey with concealer.
U/BinaryPeach asked: Parents of reddit, what secret do your kids think they've kept hidden from you for years, but you actually know the truth?
When you’re a little kid, sometimes covering up the truth can be a cute attempt at being a good kid. That changes real quick when you get older.
Imaginary friends are real!
My poor sweet kindergartener confessed with tears in his eyes that his imaginary friend wasn't real. That he'd never been real. That he'd been lying.
I had a hard time keeping a straight face as he poured his heart out about the guilt that had been eating him alive for being a "lying liar who lied to his mom." Then I hugged him and fessed up that I knew.
We talked about his friend's baby brother who was almost 3 and had an imaginary friend Mickey Mouse.
Did he really think this baby was playing with Mickey Mouse when he had to go grocery shopping with his dad while his big brother played on the trampoline with my son? Did he think this little guy was a bad person for saying he and Mickey Mouse had ice cream and played games in his magic house just because he was jealous about not being able to stay and play?
We talked about how he created his imaginary friend when he was only 2. How he uses his imaginary friend to talk about things that were bothering him. Like when his dad went out of town for 3 weeks and he was scared he wasn't coming back and afraid his dad left because he broke some stuff while playing.
Oh how he squirmed to realize I knew he had been talkimg about himself and not his imaginary friend's family!
Anyways, it was a good talk. He seemed to realize it was okay to talk about uncomfortable or scary things using an imaginary friend and that I wasn't deceived or mad about it.
Since then, the imaginary friend has shown up a few times. Like when it got a love letter from a girl at school the same age and didn't love her back. Or when the "purple cat" saw another kid eat a bug on the playground and wasn't sure if he wanted to still be friends anymore.
Definitely didn’t know that at all.
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Good to see my mum didn't know about me playing Pokemon when I was supposed to be asleep.
How else are we gonna catch those night-only Pokémon like Hoothoot?!
Three year olds, man.
My three year old tells me she washed her hands after going to the bathroom... She can't reach the faucet on her stool.
Right? My 3 year old clearly thinks I know nothing. My favorite is when he poops his pants and then denies it....
I think every person who has ever been a teenager has lied about something at some point. And typically they aren’t so lucky in getting away with it.
At least he confessed....eight years later.
Our son stole money from our wallets when he was 14. We had two other kids old enough to be able to do that, but we knew it was him. He's 22 now and asked him recently. He confessed and was shocked that we knew.
Nana stayed quiet.
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When my mom was 16, she had a night job and a boyfriend. She would sometimes say she was going to work when she'd actually go to her boyfriends house. Her mom knew. Nana sat on that for 40 years.
My grandmother still enjoys pulling stuff like this on my mom and her siblings.
It's always fun to watch a 60 something do the "MOM!" with the shocked-teenage face on.
Every teen has snuck out.
Not a parent but I am one of 10 kids. My younger brother got busted for sneaking out of the house. And hard core (by my parents standard) punished. Mom made him check in with location tags every hour and he wasn't allowed out past a certain time. He was 17 or so.
I had to sit my parents down and tell them that all 6 of us older siblings had also snuck out and they were being completely unreasonable. They'd had no idea.
This ended up being wholesome.
When I started dating my now wife. We were not at the age to legally drink, I worked at a liquor store and my friends older brothers may have accidentally left some liquor around. Well my GF had never had anything other than a small dixie cup of champagne at new years ago I happened to have a half bottle of Burnett's grape vodka that I "snuck" into her house when we thought her parents were sleeping. Like 10 years later we find out they happened to look out the window to see if it was snowing and saw me grab it out of my trunk. We thought we got away with it 100% and just became a good laugh.
Ironically though, both of my wife's siblings had their first alcoholic drink because of me and my wife, mainly because they trusted us to not let them go over board when they were going to college age.
There are those special, well thought out lies that are so creative, that sometimes parents will just go along with it due to being impressed. I hope my kids are this smart.
I would do it too for a cute cat.
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I was the kid. I have always loved cats, and couldn't stand to see unloved cats. I brought home a lot of kittens and cats over time, to the point that my mom told me I wasn't allowed to bring any more home, no joking.
So one day, many moons ago, I at about 10 yo went to the Pike Place Market in Seattle and was wandering around when I came across a guy with a box of kittens. I knew I couldn't bring home a kitten, but I fell HARD for this little black and white kitten. I think I spent an hour trying to figure out how to convince my mom I HAD to have this kitten, and came up with... as I was walking home from the bus stop, a car drove by and someone tossed a box out in front of me. I of course checked it out, and lo and behold, a helpless kitten! Obviously I couldn't leave it on the side of this busy road, so I had to bring her home!
Mom let me keep her after interrogating me for a while, and I loved my Bootsie so much while she was with us ( she had a seizure disorder and didn't live long).
About 15 years later, my mom told me she knew I was lying the whole time, but it was such a creative lie, she felt I should be rewarded for.
Well, not all of them can be as clever....
When I was a kid I used to keep a pretty elegant glass bong on my night stand and I would place fake flowers in it to make it just look like a vase because I just underestimated my parents that much. It's crazy how great you think you are as a teenager. lol. But my parents totally knew and just thought I was an idiot for thinking I was so clever.
That sounds really tasty actually.
My son thinks he is slick and got away with drinking some of my salted caramel moonshine. I know he snuck a shot or three. I'm okay with it. He's 17 and responsible, smart and an amazing kid. A smidge of moonshine isn't a huge deal.
Remember kids, if you think you’re getting away with something, nine times out of ten, your parents are twelve steps ahead of you. Just a heads-up, thank me later.
But thank goodness for the parents who love us anyway, no matter what stupid hijinks we get into.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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