We've all heard how parenting is a full-time job. So it's not surprising to learn that parents have discovered plenty of quirks and methods to make things just a little bit more efficient during that eternal slog.
Sure, taking care of one's kids is an absolutely heartwarming, unparalleled joy at times. But parents are humans too, and they cut corners to make things move along or to generate an outcome they prefer.
Unfortunately, some of those shortcuts can have long-term side effects.
A group of Redditors gathered to share the examples they knew all too well.
Capable-Parsley2368 asked, "What 'parenting trick' can actually f*** up a child?"
Many people described the ways parents, to make their kids behave in a desired way, do things that are a bit emotionally manipulative.
It's a kind of "at all costs" approach that can be damaging.
The Adult in the Room
"Giving kids the Silent Treatment when they're in trouble, honestly teaches them to shut down when things get difficult rather than talk things through."
"I am personally unlearning that behavior to this day because of how often my mom did that."
-- hazey227
Inflicting Fear
"Pretending to ring the police when you've done something bad." -- Scoobyginger25
"Scare tactics. My mom was always telling me horrible stories to scare me not to do things. Like yes I get it, I won't play by the train tracks or the canal but it seemed like everything I wanted to do had a scary story to go with it."
"Even when I was going to college and trying to decide on a career. Oh you don't want to do that because so and so did that and are now homeless, divorced, depressed, etc." -- zeldessa
Dropping a Bomb
"My mom would always tell me right as i was heading out the door for school that i was in trouble and we needed to talk when i got home. She would never give any clue to what it was but would let me know i was in some sh**. I'd spend the entire day wondering what i did wrong and thinking i was a bad kid.
"9 out of 10 times it had to do with my grades, school was a huge struggle for me."
Beware of Bullfrogs
"My dad would take us camping a lot. He didn't want us getting lost in the woods so he would tell us the sound we heard (bullfrogs) was actually a water monster that will drag you underwater or deep in woods to eat you."
"I think most old school parenting was terrifying your kids to keep them out of danger."
Other people discussed the times their parents were blatantly dishonest. These Redditors didn't always notice the truth at the time, but 20/20 hindsight sure clarified some issues.
Just Say No
" 'Next time' promises to make the child not complain, but are never fulfilled. It only leads to trust issues." -- macncheese_z
"They also lose their power quickly when the kid knows there will be no 'next time.' Which makes them fight harder for 'this time,' causing the entire goal of promising 'next time' to go unfulfilled along with the trust issues."
"Which is what I like to call an 'epic gamer move' " -- KalebMW99
The Hot Gossip
"Reading diaries or journals, (text messages, emails). It's a huge violation of trust and will cause kids to bottle emotions up instead of expression through creativity. If you think something is wrong or that they are in a bad situation choose to sit and talk with them in earnest."
Convoluted, Indirect
"Extreme euphemisms that are almost lies to make bad news less harsh." -- kaida_notadude
"Seriously. Just tell the kids whats going on. If you want to soften the blow, take them out somewhere nice to put them at ease, but give them the truth."
"Kids can handle a lot more than we give them credit for, and telling them the truth without blurring it all up with euphemisms helps them process information more clearly." -- CaptainHindsight212
Last, some people realized that their parents had good intentions, but totally missed the mark about implementing them. These parents wanted what they felt was best for the child, but getting there, they did the worst.
In Your Ear Forever
"Putting down your child to 'motivate' them. My parents never gave me positive reinforcement, they'd be quick to jump all over my mistakes and they even told me that I was faking my grades when I got the straight A's they wanted."
"It didn't do anything except sow the seeds of self-doubt that I still have to this day."
Creating Hierarchies
" 'You see that child Timmy? Be more like him.' Made me insecure and feel beneath everyone." -- Madam-Vixen
"My moms logic is that it pushes me to do what the others do as well. What really happened was i felt they would rather have the other one as their child not me" -- mizukata
Doesn't Have to Be a Transaction
"Cleaning your room as a punishment or something to hold over your kid if they want to do something fun."
"This will give your kid the impression cleaning their room is a bad thing. Treat it as something you both can do together, encourage them to do it because they want to. I've decided that I will always help my kid Clean his room solely to achieve the goal of a clean room, that's it."
Hopefully, a thread like this will shine a light on the intuitive, but problematic, approaches to parenting. Maybe you're thinking about kids or have some of your own.
Take it from these folks that even the minor things can add up.
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The Worst Cases Of 'Rich Kid Syndrome' People Have Ever Seen
A Redditor asked: 'What’s the worst case of “rich kid syndrome” that you’ve ever seen?'
We are now aware that the distribution of wealth is severely skewed to the top one percent of the population, and rich people have a completely different perception of how the world works and what's "hard" than middle- and lower-class people do.
But what's so disheartening is how their beliefs and limited understanding of hardship trickle down to their children, and how those children are interacting in society is honestly shocking.
Redditor WaterWire asked:
"What's the worst case of 'rich kid syndrome' that you've ever seen?"
The Jet Doesn't Count
"I used to work with someone who proclaimed to be an environmentalist. She was very preachy."
"Once I had a can of Coke on my desk. She said, 'You're going to recycle that, right?'"
"She used her father's personal jet all the time. Once, just to fly from NYC to Boston to see a baseball game."
- LiterallyOutToLunch
Disposable Cars
"A girl I went to school with crashed and totaled six cars in three years and her parents continued buying her better newer cars because every accident 'wasn’t her fault' and if she had stuff like a backup camera and sensors they 'wouldn’t have happened.'"
"She got into a fender bender in the school parking lot and her dad showed up with a wad of cash and paid the other student off."
- nosenseofpermanence
A Simple Grade Change
"When I was in college for my grad degree and I was working as a T.A. (teacher's assistant), during a specific term I was helping my professor with some admin duties for one of his post-grad courses he taught for a different field than mine, and we had this one student who was arguing that she wanted a higher final grade than the one she had gotten."
"We listened to her explanation to see if there was any merit to her request and there was something that needed to be changed, but it basically boiled down to, 'I think my grade is too low and I deserve a higher grade because I say so,' and we simply told her that after reviewing her performance we could confirm that her final grade was correct and there was nothing to be done about it."
"She completely lost it and transformed into a Super Karen and after arguing for a bit, she stormed off and started emailing me and the professor and copying everybody in the email chain: her program director, the department head, the head of our registry office, Will Hunting, the security guard, the librarian, etc., and every email she sent was progressively ruder and more entitled than its predecessor because everybody kept telling her that she was unfortunately in the wrong and there was nothing to be done about it."
"Eventually, she sent a really smug email where she said something to the effect that since everybody was a dumba** and incompetent at our jobs, we had forced her to copy her father who was really close friends with the dean to the email, so we were f**ked and we had to do as she said or daddy would get us all fired. Keep in mind, this was a grad student in her mid-twenties."
"The highest ranking person in the email chain replied, reiterating that we were all very sorry, but she was in the wrong, her grade was correct, and it would not be changed."
"Then her father replied to the email chain and just said, 'There you go, dear. I hope you learn from this.'"
"She didn't reply anymore after her daddy's email, and the matter was closed. To this day, I like to imagine that dear old dad tore her a new one for dragging him into her bulls**t and making him look bad in front of a bunch of professors from a well-known university where his BFF was the dean because she, his grown-a** daughter, chose to behave like a spoiled brat."
- Tough_Stretch
First. World. Problems.
"I'll never forget a former friend stamping her foot and crying because 'Dad sold the jet and I have to take a commercial flight to our raaaaanch.'"
- tnrivergirl
The Cost of Priorities
"An 'Influencer' wondering why other people in their home country don't spend their life traveling like them."
- OrderIntegration
"I love the 'I’d rather have a passport full of stamps than a house full of expensive things!' schtick."
"Most of my furniture is from the free section of Craigslist and I would be thrilled if I ever get to a point where I can afford an international trip every few years."
- TogarSucks
No Help At All
"Not me, but a friend of mine was an assistant trainer at a Panera store. They hired a teenager who was only working there to meet people, and one day had a group leave a huge mess in the dining room."
"Apparently the teen turned to my friend and said, 'Should we get the help to clean that?'"
"My friend had to explain that they were the help. He quit not long after."
- SailorVenus23
Garage Entitlement
"I was complaining about having to clear off my car from the foot of snow we'd gotten. A guy at work told me there was no way I had to clean off my car. I definitely did and it took a long time."
"Him: Well then, it's your own fault for not parking in the garage."
"Me: I don't have a garage."
"Him: Everyone has a garage."
"I'm like, look out the window next time you are driving?"
- Okay-Cheetah-9125
The Intrusive Thoughts Won
"A senior rich kid in my HS was driving his dad's Jaguar when his buddy asked him what would happen if he threw into reverse at 60 miles per hour. So they tried it and essentially blew the transmission and the motor up."
"A few months later, he got a Porsche for Christmas."
- New_Section_9374
Humbling Experiences
"I had a guy work for me in the military. He thought he didn’t have to do anything because his parents would just 'call their friends.' He ended up getting kicked out for LSD and cocaine use."
- ElfLordSpoon
"I did my mandatory military service when I turned 18, seven years ago. I cleaned s**t more than once, and my father had prepared me for it by saying, 'In the military, it doesn’t matter who you are, you’re still going to clean toilets.'"
"Only a few of my mates from back then knew who my family was and that was after a lengthy, alcohol involving, conversation/interrogation, lol (laughing out loud). You don’t wanna be standing out."
- RolexWearInGray
Unrealistic Shopping
"A therapist once asked me how much money I spent on clothes each year."
"I told her about 100 to 200 dollars, depending on the year and what was needed."
"Her response was, 'You can’t even get one dress for 100 dollars' and then proceeded to tell me that maybe I didn’t value myself enough."
"All I was thinking was, 'This b***h has never been to TJ Maxx?!'"
- FortunaLady
Very Different Backyards
"When I was in elementary school, this kid lived in the only gated community in the area, and the houses were all mansions. He was telling me a story about his tennis court in his courtyard."
"I said, 'Wait, you have a tennis court at your house?'"
"He looked genuinely shocked, and responded with, '…you don’t?'"
"It blew my mind as a little kid who had to share a room with my single mom, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Spare_Invite_8191
College Tuition
"Some girl in my college classes was genuinely shocked there were students who had to take out loans because their parents couldn’t afford to pay the 65 thousand dollars a year for tuition."
"I have a lot of extended family out in California who I’ve never met, but I sometimes hear stories from my parents who keep in touch with a few relatives out there."
"One of my distant cousins, who was like 17 at the time, intentionally totaled the new BMW his parents bought him because he wanted a Mercedes instead. Can’t remember if they ended up buying him that Mercedes or not, but they probably did. Sadly."
- Scortor
Exam Buyouts
"Rich Dude in my high school chemistry class flat out asked how big of a check his dad could write to get him out of taking a major test. He was serious. Nothing happened to him."
- GrayBox1313
Poor Packing Skills
"I had a friend who worked as a counselor at an American summer camp somewhere in Pennsylvania. He said that these kids would leave so much of their belongings because they couldn’t be bothered packing them up and they would just expect their parents to replace what they had left."
"He came away with Beats headphones, brand new shoes (although a few sizes too small), and gaming equipment."
"He also said that one day they were playing a game of flag football and one of the kids fell and grazed his cheek. This kid was some child model, so his parents had him HELICOPTERED OUT OF THE CAMP so he could get plastic surgery over the injury."
- amerika0210
Messy Kitchen Dilemma
"I had a roommate who would cook huge meals and destroy the kitchen. She would eat her meal and head to her room."
"A couple of hours later, she’d come out and be fully p**sed off that the kitchen was still a mess."
"She’d had servants most of her life and was now on her own."
- msjammies73
Though we know that the rich are often incredibly out-of-touch, these examples were still really surprising. Not only is their perception of money so different, but the disposable nature of big purchases, like vehicles, is just wild to think about.
It's easy to take our lives for granted and to forget how lucky we are in our own scenarios, but perhaps the rich experience this even more so.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.
Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.
Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).
To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:
"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"
Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.
Making Sure
"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."
– sleepypanda59
Wise To Wait
"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."
– SisterPhister666
Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else
"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."
"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."
– shoelessmarcelshell
These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.
Assurance
"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."
Normal In No Time
"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."
– Bright_Composer_3901
"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."
– Alante
Best Money Ever Spent
"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."
– HarrumphingDuck
Cherry On Top
"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."
– Secure_Requirement84
Some final thoughts.
Only Pros
"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"
– PunchARacist
One Unsettling Thing
"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."
"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."
– GuestCartographer
The One Constant
"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"
– richwat00
Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.
Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.
Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.
The Scariest Yet Most Realistic Films About The Future Ever Made
I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.
While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.
Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.
For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.
But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?
Reddit user beefgulash asked:
"What is the scariest—yet most realistic—future film ever made?"
Threads
"I thought that BBC’s nuclear holocaust Threads was much more terrifying and depressing than United States TV movie The Day After."
~No-Distance425
"Threads might genuinely be the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen."
~ ThorCoolguy
Her
"Her. Everyone is so online that they lost the ability to make human connections, to the point where it's a business for the main character to write personal letters on behalf of others."
"So lonely, he easily falls in love with an AI and the only one who still feels real emotions, his ex wife (Rooney Mara), is treated like a crazy person."
"With everyone too online and severely lonely, we are practically living in that emotional dystopia now."
~ grandmofftalkin
Children of Men
"Children of Men. You want to know what makes it so scarily realistic?"
"Alfonso Cuaron deliberately shot scenes in East London and asked the production designers to make it 'more Mexican'—in other words, make it look even more run-down than it already was."
"Cuaron leaned in on his own experiences in growing up in Mexico and seeing everyday poverty to bring that to look and feel to a futuristic London. The future-London isn't a gleaming metropolis—it's a metropolis on the verge of collapse and giving up."
"The battle scenes weren't fantastical as so many sci-fi dystopian films often are: they're based on real, real conflicts. Cuaron was smart to include imagery from the then-current Iraq invasion and the atrocities committed in Abu Ghraib to jar the viewer's thoughts and attentions just long enough to make them feel queasy."
"The shots of illegal immigrants in cages were disturbing then—well, they should be f*cking frightening now. Cuaron and the production designers saturated that film with little visual snippets of then-current events and fictional future atrocities to make it a highly believable—and scary—world."
~ PureDeidBrilliant
Contagion
"Contagion—a movie about a coronavirus outbreak, that pre-dated COVID-19."
~ glrd1
"When I saw that movie in theaters, there was someone coughing a few rows behind. Like, big, wet, juicy coughs..."
"I hated that immersive movie experience."
~ only_bubble_sort
"The fast killing virus that spreads around the world was a bit unrealistic but man was it a trip watching this during lockdowns."
"I'd never heard of 'social distancing' until the pandemic and it and other pandemic facts of life coming out in the movie hit home."
~ Dmzm
A Scanner Darkly
"A Scanner Darkly. A large amount of the population have become drug addicts, the government enacts a total police state, and the addicts slowly descend into insanity, and eventually are put into rehab once their brains are fried.
"Once they are 'rehabed' (they are basically lobotomized, or brainwashed) they are sent to work on large corporate farms."
"The same corporations that own the rehabs, also own the farms, and they are also the ones growing the illicit drugs that cause the whole problem."
~ CmTrumpet
The Road
"The Road. I remember seeing the premiere of it at a film festival and the director and cast were there and all smiles and jokes and so happy to be there…and then the movie plunged all of us into pure despair for 2 hours."
~ Other-Marketing-6167
"I read the book multiple times before the movie came out."
"The movie makes your heart break, but the book destroys your soul and will to live for like a week after reading."
~ Some-Philly-Dude
WALL-E
"WALL-E. The fact that Pixar showed everyone a very real future Earth if we continue down the path we're on and nobody did anything about it speaks volumes. Everyone knows sh*t's f*cked."
"I'm rooting for the roomba with solar panels who gets outside after we've annihilated ourselves, enjoy fulfilling your set purpose lil' dude."
~ Shes_dead_Jim
Gattaca
"Gattaca. If you ever watch it again listen to how they talk about him and his 'condition'."
"It’s all 'could” and 'might' and 'possibly' and similar caveats."
"His only 'condition' was being a natural birth and not a designer baby."
~ pocket-friends
RoboCop
"RoboCop. Dude dies at work. Gets resurrected to continue working."
"Also the whole bit about corporations privatizing public services."
"Feels like we're gonna be there in a few years."
~ Gentleman_Jack90
Elysium
"Elysium strikes me as the most realistic, as far as the social structure."
"You have an ultra rich class, a mercenary type 'middle' class, and everyone else is fighting for the scraps."
~ Maliluma
"Sure seems like the logic extension of the widening global gap between a few ultra-wealthy and the rest of the population."
"The ultra-wealthy already are invested in space travel, colonizing Mars, island compounds and extreme longevity."
~ RichardBonham
Logan's Run
"Logan's Run, it's a bit of a cult classic."
"In the future, there are limited places for humans to live, so everyone has an 'expiration date' regardless of how healthy they are."
"Everyone has to die before a certain age. I won't spoil it in case anyone wants to see it."
"It's an old school sci-fi movie that I have loved since I was a kid."
~ macmac360
12 Monkeys
"No one mentioned 12 Monkeys yet?"
"Found it super realistic and scary."
~ mrs_anouk
Soylent Green
"Soylent Green solves both problems of overpopulation and food scarcity.... so, maybe it will happen."
"I just hope they think of 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin' Habanero Soylent Green when they do it."
~ ketchuptheclown
Metropolis
"Metropolis. Complete masterpiece in my opinion."
~ CaptianOfCows
Idiocracy
"Idiocracy."
~ BrilliantlyClueless
"I like to believe that somewhere in that world a pocket of smart people retreated to someplace isolated like New Zealand and persisted."
~ notapunk
Zombies! 🧟♂️🧟♀️🧟
Personally, I love zombie movies based on the concept from George A. Romero's classic Night Of The Living Dead.
Zombies existed in myths and legends before Romero's film, but not in the way they do now in popular culture.
Romero's movies also always included social commentary on economic inequality, racism and the ills of unbridled capitalism.
To me zombie films show how people would react in a viral health crisis and our recent pandemic made them all the more real.
So what movies do you think are scary because they're too real?
The Worst Reasons Cheaters Have Given To Justify Their Infidelity
Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.
Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.
And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.
In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.
So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?
Reddit user littlehoneybear2104 asked:
"What is the worst reason you've heard for cheating on someone?"
What's Old Is New Again
"He wanted to try something new."
"He cheated on me with his ex."
~ meeez80
GiphyPreemptive Strike
"Just in case he would ever cheat on me, I cheated first, so it's his fault for possibly cheating on me in the first place."
~ Competitive_Bat4986
Mission Accomplished
"To have a reason to end the relationship."
~ chewie_33
Tough Enough
"He said I'm strong and I can handle it."
"Like WTF? Does that give someone a free pass just to cheat?"
"Like we ain't tolerating that too. Done with that person."
~ drn-07
GiphyDream On
"Ex cheated on me because I cheated on her in a dream shehad and she was sure it was a sign that I was unfaithful in real life."
~ Craigothy-YeOldeLord
Oops!
"It was an accident."
"Yeah, 'I tripped and fell into her vagina' sounds legit."
~ dabbad525
GiphyGrow Up
"You didn’t show me enough attention the past few years! You didn’t take me anywhere! I’m the baby in my family, I need attention!”
"I worked 3 jobs, played with the kids, and finished a degree… during COVID while EVERYWHERE was closed."
~ hephaestus1219
Lockdown
"I was together with her for 14 years, married for 6 and this dipsh*t said we stagnated for a year during COVID because we didn’t go out anywhere...because she was deathly afraid of COVID."
"Some people are so pathetically stupid."
~ Virgin_nerd
GiphyUnsupervised
"My best friend in high school/college claimed it was my fault she cheated on her boyfriend because I left them in the room alone together with the she cheated with."
~ Smart_Form_9569
Too Perfect?
"My ex said it was because I was 'too perfect' and that he couldn't live up to the standard I had set by being who I was."
~ MarvelousShiggyDiggy
Trauma Response
"My cousin’s ex said she felt she had to hook up with the guy working the front register at Walgreens because of the events of 9-11."
"I’m not even kidding. This was on 9-11."
"She apparently was so upset she staggered into Walgreens and fell on the first guy she saw."
~ Big_Psychology_4210
In The Stars
"My ex cheated on me because 'August has new energy'—something to do with astrology. And yes, I mean the month August, not someone named August."
~ Frog-Thing
Giphy*yawn* 🥱
"The relationship just got boring"
"Their marriage seemed perfect inside and out, except she got bored of being a wife and mother."
"She tried fighting for the marriage after her affair partner died of a heart attack and husband called her out on her bullsh*t."
~ DevilinDeTales
Some people aren't meant for commitment, but that should be something they disclose to their partners before they cheat.
It would avoid a lot of wasted time and heartbreak.