So we all in the USA joke about Australia and how scary its wildlife is, but the only reason we can joke is because we don't have to live it.
Australians themselves, however, are not so lucky.
u/XennIsNotHere asked:
Australians of Reddit, what is the scariest encounter you've had with one of the native animals?
Here were some of those answers.
ASDFGHJKL
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I had just come home after a long bicycle ride. I took my shoes off and just forgot to bring them inside afterwards. 2 days later I was about to go on another bicycle ride so needed my shoes...I put my left one on with no problems, but felt something a little squishy when putting my foot into my right shoe. I immediately took my foot out to discover it to be covered in at least 100 baby spiders and a larger red back spider came scuttling out of the shoe!
Don't leave your shoes outside...or at the very least check them unlike me!
Em-who?
I was driving on a straight unsealed road through barren land and had not seen anything on the road or to either side for about half an hour when I had to decelerate heavily to avoid driving into a group of half a dozen emus who were startled and who scattered in all directions.
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Came home from work and went to step outside to enjoy the garden when I noticed an intense buzzing. I look down and there's a spider wasp and a huntsman spider having a Godzilla: King of the Monsters showdown, wrestling all over the patio area. The spider wasp stung the huntsman into submission and dragged it over to a hole in the wall. I later learnt that the spider wasp lays her eggs in the barely living body and uses it as an incubator. Nice.
In another huntsman incident, the one I keep in my garage dropped into my lap from the sun visor in my car as I reversed out of my driveway. I screamed for a bit before scooping him up and popping him back in the garage. I warned him not to get in my car again. Anyone watching would have found a grown man lecturing huge spider a bit weird. I do generally like them though, hence not killing it.
I've also been chased by an emu while cycling a few times. They're deranged.
The Wrong Snake Again
While I was mowing saw a snake, thought it was a red bellied black snake (get them all the time) So I took a stick and hit the ground near it to scare it off, the thing arced up hissed and charged at me. I took off. It was a tiger snake.
Dang Emus
Lived in the outback. Was just minding my own business walking past the local cinema and a 6ft emu came running out from behind a tree and nearly knocked me down. Scared the absolute crap out of me.
Follow up - emus were not supposed to be in the township (there was a fence to keep them out), so town services had to forcibly 'evict' it. They achieved this by driving up close to it, throwing a noose around its neck, quickly winding up the windows and slowly escorting it out of town. Bad idea. They are surprisingly strong and it kicked in the whole side of the vehicle in the process.
Oh, Possum!
Came home after two weeks away. My parents picked me up, unloaded my suitcase, loaded it up themselves, then left on holidays.
That night, I was sleeping on my stomach, and a possum came in through the window and landed on the soles of my feet. I'm guessing he had pushed through the flyscreen while I was away and had been sleeping in my room. All I knew is something big and hairy landed on me. I lashed out, and he went flying across the room.
I left pretty quick and slept on the couch.
Batmaaaaaaan
I'm not from from Australia but lived in Brisbane for a year while studying abroad. Was walking to the bars with a friend in the evening, quite dark out even on suburb city streets, so I pulled out my smart phone camera light. Just as I do so, I pan up to rustling in a nearby tree and there is a giant bat on a tree that turns around, and spreads its wings like it's Batman. We ran out of there damn fast. After that, along with spider webs, I no longer walk on side walks into the suburbs, even during the day.
Just When You Thought It Couldn't Actually Get Worse
A leech attached itself to my eyeball while I was hiking in the rainforest. My friends wanted to piss on it, or light a match over it, but neither solution seemed ideal. So I waited while it wiggled about, filled up with blood, and finally dropped off an hour later. The following week I went on a date with one of the guys I met on that hike, even though I still had a zombie eye from the leech bite. 10 years on, last year, he and I went back to the place where he first looked me in the eye with that leech wiggling about, and we were married in the rainforest with our friends standing by.
Naked And Afraid
Hubby and a couple of mates were swimming in the dam in their jocks when someone yelled out "crocodile ", but it was an 8ft black snake swimming out after them on top of the water. Hubby went back to the gum tree to get his clothes and the black snake had curled up next to their pile of clothes. They walked about 2 miles back home in wet jocks, barefoot. The 3 of them went back on the tractor with a shotgun but couldn't find the snake. He also reckons he saw a black panther in the bush, but I'm skeptical.
Hoppity Hop Hop
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Was down at a lodge by a lake with some friends and we brought one girl's two dogs (big dogs, briards).
Anyway, it was evening and the dogs start going crazy so we look outside to see what's going on and there's a whole mob of kangaroos, like at least 15 all just standing in the trees near our little lodge.
Idk how but one of the dogs opened the gate and they both went running after the roos. Fully chasing them, going wild, barking. Me and my friends had to sprint after the kangaroos to try and get the dogs back. The dogs somehow cornered them but weren't moving no matter how much we called them so we had to go up to the roos to get the dogs. Had a stare off with one of em, was scared, fully thought it was gonna punch me in the face. Bloody terrifying
I try my best to follow the law. And Lord knows how well I'm doing. There are so many obscure laws for ridiculous things, yet, scamming people of their life savings is a free pass. I'm confused... apparently, so are many others...
Save a Life
drag race drugs GIFGiphy"Hiking up prices of life saving medications. (Insulin, epi-pens, etc.)".
The Hands of Time
"Advertisement like "anti-aging" is absolutely preposterous."
"I would love to see a massive class action lawsuit against any skincare that proposes "anti-aging". Watch a judge rule in the plaintiff's favor citing that the products did not actually turn back time."
Credit
"Your credit score goes down because you cancelled a credit card."
"You want to have multiple lines of credit that you're responsible with, preferably for a long period of time, because it proves you're a reliable borrower. If you have no debt, it's almost like you've not established credit at all. Your score goes up the more lines of credit you have. It's bonkers. Someone more financially literate than me could probably explain better, though."
- isocleat
The Devil
Kate Mckinnon Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Hi, I'm X. We're trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty."
- Mtt76812
I'm at the end of my tether with these car warranty calls. I swear to God... nevermind. And advertisements needs to be more regulated. That is a start at better fixing justice.
Extra $$$
Happy Credit Card GIF by HollyoaksGiphy"Convenience fees for online ticket purchases. Why am I getting charged for saving on paper, ink, and everyone's time?"
You're Cancelled
"Companies making it really difficult to cancel things. Especially subscriptions. I think the process to subscribe to something to should be exactly the same as the process to cancel it. I'm looking at you spotify."
"Gyms in general. before they started popping up everywhere I was a member at LA fitness."
"Well I moved 2hrs away from the closest one and they wanted me to come in person to cancel, then they wanted me to send in a damn letter. I can signup online, why can't I cancel online?"
- Rektw
No muss, no fuss.
"Printer ink being ridiculously expensive for no reason."
"Buy a laser printer. Here's my oft-told tale of woe: School got out so my kids no longer had homework to print. A month or so later we needed to print a document. Our Kodak injket printer not only refused to print but said we needed to buy a new ($90) print head because the old one had gummed up, because we'd gone too long without printing."
"I went to the local office supply store and bought a Brother laser printer. It scans, it copies, it uses wifi, and most importantly it just works.About twice a year when we need to print something I go and get it out of my garage and bring it into the house, set it on the kitchen counter, plug it in, and print to it."
"It works great - even remembers my wifi settings (SSID and password) from the previous time. No muss, no fuss. If I really want to print something in color I'll use Kinkos. Turns out I literally never need to print in color."
Child Currency
"Using children to monetize your social media channels."
"It's honestly sad that their parents force them to be the face of their social media accounts, since the children will never have a normal childhood due to their fame."
Bot Thieves
Theatre GIF by StubHubGiphy"Bots buying tickets and up-charging the crap out of the price."
- pgh613
Those ticket thieves need to be taken down. No Broadway show is worth $1000! Don't fall for it kids. That mess needs to be cleaned up. There is actual crime happening to the naked eye. Let's focus there.
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