So we all in the USA joke about Australia and how scary its wildlife is, but the only reason we can joke is because we don't have to live it.
Australians themselves, however, are not so lucky.
I had just come home after a long bicycle ride. I took my shoes off and just forgot to bring them inside afterwards. 2 days later I was about to go on another bicycle ride so needed my shoes...I put my left one on with no problems, but felt something a little squishy when putting my foot into my right shoe. I immediately took my foot out to discover it to be covered in at least 100 baby spiders and a larger red back spider came scuttling out of the shoe!
Don't leave your shoes outside...or at the very least check them unlike me!
I was driving on a straight unsealed road through barren land and had not seen anything on the road or to either side for about half an hour when I had to decelerate heavily to avoid driving into a group of half a dozen emus who were startled and who scattered in all directions.
Came home from work and went to step outside to enjoy the garden when I noticed an intense buzzing. I look down and there's a spider wasp and a huntsman spider having a Godzilla: King of the Monsters showdown, wrestling all over the patio area. The spider wasp stung the huntsman into submission and dragged it over to a hole in the wall. I later learnt that the spider wasp lays her eggs in the barely living body and uses it as an incubator. Nice.
In another huntsman incident, the one I keep in my garage dropped into my lap from the sun visor in my car as I reversed out of my driveway. I screamed for a bit before scooping him up and popping him back in the garage. I warned him not to get in my car again. Anyone watching would have found a grown man lecturing huge spider a bit weird. I do generally like them though, hence not killing it.
I've also been chased by an emu while cycling a few times. They're deranged.
The Wrong Snake Again
While I was mowing saw a snake, thought it was a red bellied black snake (get them all the time) So I took a stick and hit the ground near it to scare it off, the thing arced up hissed and charged at me. I took off. It was a tiger snake.
Lived in the outback. Was just minding my own business walking past the local cinema and a 6ft emu came running out from behind a tree and nearly knocked me down. Scared the absolute crap out of me.
Follow up - emus were not supposed to be in the township (there was a fence to keep them out), so town services had to forcibly 'evict' it. They achieved this by driving up close to it, throwing a noose around its neck, quickly winding up the windows and slowly escorting it out of town. Bad idea. They are surprisingly strong and it kicked in the whole side of the vehicle in the process.
Came home after two weeks away. My parents picked me up, unloaded my suitcase, loaded it up themselves, then left on holidays.
That night, I was sleeping on my stomach, and a possum came in through the window and landed on the soles of my feet. I'm guessing he had pushed through the flyscreen while I was away and had been sleeping in my room. All I knew is something big and hairy landed on me. I lashed out, and he went flying across the room.
I left pretty quick and slept on the couch.
I'm not from from Australia but lived in Brisbane for a year while studying abroad. Was walking to the bars with a friend in the evening, quite dark out even on suburb city streets, so I pulled out my smart phone camera light. Just as I do so, I pan up to rustling in a nearby tree and there is a giant bat on a tree that turns around, and spreads its wings like it's Batman. We ran out of there damn fast. After that, along with spider webs, I no longer walk on side walks into the suburbs, even during the day.
Just When You Thought It Couldn't Actually Get Worse
A leech attached itself to my eyeball while I was hiking in the rainforest. My friends wanted to piss on it, or light a match over it, but neither solution seemed ideal. So I waited while it wiggled about, filled up with blood, and finally dropped off an hour later. The following week I went on a date with one of the guys I met on that hike, even though I still had a zombie eye from the leech bite. 10 years on, last year, he and I went back to the place where he first looked me in the eye with that leech wiggling about, and we were married in the rainforest with our friends standing by.
Naked And Afraid
Hubby and a couple of mates were swimming in the dam in their jocks when someone yelled out "crocodile ", but it was an 8ft black snake swimming out after them on top of the water. Hubby went back to the gum tree to get his clothes and the black snake had curled up next to their pile of clothes. They walked about 2 miles back home in wet jocks, barefoot. The 3 of them went back on the tractor with a shotgun but couldn't find the snake. He also reckons he saw a black panther in the bush, but I'm skeptical.
Hoppity Hop HopGiphy
Was down at a lodge by a lake with some friends and we brought one girl's two dogs (big dogs, briards).
Anyway, it was evening and the dogs start going crazy so we look outside to see what's going on and there's a whole mob of kangaroos, like at least 15 all just standing in the trees near our little lodge.
Idk how but one of the dogs opened the gate and they both went running after the roos. Fully chasing them, going wild, barking. Me and my friends had to sprint after the kangaroos to try and get the dogs back. The dogs somehow cornered them but weren't moving no matter how much we called them so we had to go up to the roos to get the dogs. Had a stare off with one of em, was scared, fully thought it was gonna punch me in the face. Bloody terrifying